


"But I thought this shit only happened in comic books?"

by thealphadog



Series: An Unlikely Avenger [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (maybe some smuttttttt), Angst, Avengers - Freeform, Comedy, Comic Heroes, Deception, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Lies, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Spider-Man - Freeform, Superheroes, Swearing, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-12-13 21:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 89,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11768721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphadog/pseuds/thealphadog
Summary: A knock at the door and one Tony Stark. Shit.After knowing about your abilities for six years now, it seems the cat is finally out of the theoretical bag, and the last person on earth you wanted finding out has, well, just found out. Big time.Thank God for Peter Parker and your friendship, what would you do without him and his (supposed) honesty?Seems things are about to get pretty shaken up...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! jesus, it's finally happening, i've fallen into the dramatic hole of reader/whateverrrrr character i can think of.  
> I'm not big on the whole romance thing so it mayyyy not happen (depending on how i feel lol), but i love Marvel's Avengers with every fibre of my being, so god dAMMIT i'm gonna write a damn fic if i want to.  
> enjoy yooooo

BANG BANG.  
You pulled your earbuds out and dragged yourself up to open the door; what the hell did someone want at 8AM? At least you were already up.

Hesitantly, you opened your door- and there stood none other than Tony freaking Stark. Your heart stopped, and your eyebrows furrowed with a mixture of confusion and shock.

"Mr. Stark...?" 

"Hey, kid," he bombarded past you into your apartment, curiosity and a bit of anger going through your mind. Did this guy really think he could barge into any place, just because he had money to throw away? Tony turned to face you when he got to the couch, you let the door shut on its own. "Came for a favour, something about- this?" 

He lifted his phone screen up so it was right in front of your face. There you stood under a streetlight in Queens at 2AM, your arms stretched out elegantly and danced through the air, controlling water particles with ease, before dropping your form and laughing, continuing on your journey home. 

You stared him down, and gulped quietly. "That's not me." You stood up straight and tried to appear pissed off (which you kind of were). 

"Bullshit," You were left speechless by his rudeness; his complete and utter lack of respect towards charging into a strangers home in the morning. "Look, kid-"

"My name isn't 'kid', thank you, Mr. Stark. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave my apartment and- well at least call before coming back," You stomped back and opened the door for him to leave the premises. Tony tapped his fingers on the back of his phone and scoffed, scratching the back of his neck. He nodded silently before heading towards where you stood. He donned a 70's pair of yellow glasses and looked you dead in the eyes; he was shorter in real life than on TV, you chuckled in your head at the thought, before remembering the situation you were in.

"(Y/N), don't act the fool. I know what you got, you know what you got. And what you got is brilliant. I didn't mean to insult you by coming here," You looked down at your feet, your trainers still wet from the run you'd just completed. "Just- give me a call, or I'll give you one, I mean either way you're gonna hear from me again, so-" 

"OK, Mr. Stark," Your cheeks had turned red. He took another step closer to the door, but stopped. 

"Just-," he turned to face you again, sincerity plastered all over his face. "Don't hide your ability. It's a real gift, (Y/N)."

Tony Stark left- and in your hand was his personal business card.

-

Twenty minutes later and you were jumping to grab the spare key to Peter's and Aunt May's apartment on top of the door frame. Frantically, you slotted it in place and opened the door, not caring about it slamming shut. 

"Peter! Wake the fuc-" Peter came rushing out of his bedroom, scrambling to get a shirt on over his boxer shorts and bed hair; he was wielding a styrofoam Minecraft sword in one hand and charged at you full force. You screamed and ducked just as the sword whacked the wall behind you. "Peter! It's me, it's (Y/N)!" 

You slid yourself away on the wooden floor, adrenaline and a laugh beginning to emerge from inside you. "Is that a, Minecraft swo-"

"(Y/N)? What the fuck is your problem," his voice was muffled as he tried to get his head out of the left arm hole of his shirt, exposing his abdomen and Star Wars patterned boxers even more. "You can't just break into my house." He pulled the shirt over his head and stroked his hair back from his face, gunk still in the corners of his eyes from sleep. 

"I didn't break in, you idiot," you got up from the floor and dangled the spare key in front of you, heading to the kitchen to grab some water. 

"Why're you here so early, I thought we weren't hanging out till later?" Peter squinted at his wrist watch and blinked a few times. You shut the tap off and gulped down the water. "Jesus," he approached you and squinted some more, you clocked his eyes and furrowed your eyebrows, frowning at him. "Why're you sweating so much-"

"Because I ran here, alright. Can you let me explain please, before you go judging my sweaty body?" He chuckled and scratched his head, his bare feet smacking against the wooden floor dully as he headed back towards his bedroom, chucking the sword on the floor.

"Sure, but I'm gonna get back in bed if that's alright..." he trailed away and yawned, flopping onto his bed and pushing the duvet up to cover himself. You slotted yourself in and leant against the wall, your legs draped over his, which were snug under the covers.

"Tony Stark came to my apartment today." Peter's eyes shot open, wide, and he was back up and sitting facing you. 

"He what-"

"He found some CCTV footage of me last week- the image was so blurry you could hardly even make it out but he saw, Peter. He saw me controlling water," you placed your head in your hands and tried to hide back tears. 

"(Y/N), I don't mean to be insensitive- I know how you feel about the 'celebrity' aspect of the Avengers, but, did you even stop to think that he wants you on the team?" Peter placed his hand on your shoulder. 

"No- I mean, yeah," you blurted out, and looked him in the eyes. "And I don't even know what I'm afraid of, maybe just myself in general?" 

"You," he coughed, and his hand squeezed you affectionately, trailing down your arm to find your hand. "You shouldn't be afraid of what you have, (Y/N). I mean I've seen it, and I'm honoured you showed me, and you shouldn't be afraid. Really, you're- amazing." Peter looked you up and down, taking in your scared features and feeling a slight shake spreading across your body. Since you'd both first met each other four years ago, it was clear you were going to get along with each other- enough so for (Y/N) to feel like she could tell you about her abilities and being able to control certain things; such as the elements, and some metals. "Why do you even want to avoid them all- the Avengers I mean. They aren't, all bad are they?" Peter hesitated as soon as he got to his last sentence, guilt travelling through the entirety of his body. 

"No, it's not that they're bad- I mean they're the opposite. They save people," you clasped your hand around Peter's and leant back against the wall again. "Not a big fan of that Tony Stark, though, he grinds my gears." the both of you chuckled and it felt good to let go for those fleeting seconds. "I'm scared, of what the public will think of me. I'm not like Spider-Man, you know, who gets to keep his identity secret." Peter's breath hitched in his throat. 

"What's- your opinion on the Spider-Man, guy, thing?" Peter watched you bob your head to the side and smile. 

"He helps the little guys, that's what I hear at least," your mind reeled and jumped whenever you thought about who Spider-Man could actually be; he operated predominantly in the Queens area, so he had to live somewhere close by, probably. "I don't know, maybe if I met him I'd realise that being an Avenger isn't actually that scary- well, if Stark ever actually wanted me." (Y/N)'s words echoed through Peter's head. Idea alert!

"Which is, very likely, considering he literally came to your house less than an hour ago." 

"Aghh, I know!" You tensed your fingers and widened your eyes, only now starting to fully comprehend what the hell had just happened. "Being an Avenger should be, enthralling and thrilling and... well, amazing. You get to save people, you know? Saving people is what I want to do, literally,"

"Oh yeah, how are Med school applications coming along?"

"I can't even think about them right now, to be honest," You shook your head at the strain of too many thoughts bombarding your brain at once. "Be honest, Peter," You looked your best friend of four years in the eye and took a deep breath, composing yourself. "Am I a strong person?"

Peter could have laughed out loud at you asking such a ridiculous question. He simply smiled, furrowing his eyebrows and moving his hand to cup your face. "You're the strongest fucking person I know, (Y/N)," You chuckled and tried to get out of his grip, but he held tight so you couldn't avoid his gaze. "I can honestly say that I would not want to be in a fight against you, ever since you kicked me in the balls after I told Todd that you liked him at Mel's party three years ago."

The laughter came back with a bang, and lasted a good half hour. After, you and Peter made pancakes and watched Full House on repeat. Peter kept sliding glances your way, the guilt etched all over his face like a sketch book. You caught him looking once, but his expression changed in the blink of an eye, and he played it off as if he were looking at your forehead - "You're still sweating so much-," "Shut the fuck up, dumbass!" - what was he hiding? 

\- 

That night, you sat on your bedroom floor, Med school applications and other bits of paper circling you as you tried to focus. All you could think about was Mr. Stark, and you kept glancing at your phone on the other side of your room. Would he call you? Did he really want you just from that one static video of you, supposedly, controlling water so it flew through the air and defied the laws of physics? Well, probably. 

It was at this time that you thought about calling your mum for the first time in a year and a half. After moving to Queens when you were fourteen, you spoke occasionally, but still not often enough for it to seem like you were her daughter and she your mother. You'd never truly got along, England had never been the place for you growing up, so when you were contacted by the Midtown School of Science and Technology you thought this was finally it- finally you'd be able to work your way up to being a great surgeon- you'd be on the starting block to learning how to save lives. 

Mum didn't approve, dad sided with her due to the fact he was away on business almost all the time, and you left with nothing but a suitcase full of as much of your stuff as you could take, a scholarship to the high school, and an approved place with a foster family living in the borough of Queens, only half an hour away from your school on the subway. This was your future; only you could make it the way you wanted; being held back was not an option when you were literally handed the opportunity on a plate. 

On your first day, you'd met Peter Parker. And that was that- the rest was history. Queens was home, and you were glad it was. Never before had you thought you'd be living in New York state when you were fourteen, and now you were eighteen, less than two months away from graduating high school and applying to countless Ivy League colleges to continue your studies. 

Your powers had always been a set back in your mind. Where did they come from? You discovered them when you were twelve, but how did you get them? It had been cool to start with, playing around lighting candlesticks with your fingers, and drinking bubbles of water in your room at night, occasionally getting drenched from them falling on you. The earth and nature seemed to gravitate towards you whenever you were near, you could feel it moving beneath the surface. Air swirled around you like a winter scarf and caressed your skin, obeying whatever you wanted it to do. You'd never tried flying though; too much room for error, especially when no one knew about this gift apart from yourself, at that time at least.

Peter was the first person you ever told, and that was also the first time you'd cried in front of him. You were both sixteen, just about to be juniors in high school. Evidently, that was also the first time you'd got drunk. "I'm scared, I don't know what they are or why I have them, I'm so scared, all the time, what if Loki comes for me? What if a bad person finds out-" you collapsed into wracking sobs on the floor of some bedroom in some house at some party, and all he did was hold you tight, not questioning or claiming you were lying. You didn't even have to prove it to him until a week later, when you tried to and failed to catch a glass of water after it slipped, and you simply held the water in the air as the glass smashed, practically unnoticed on the ground due to both of you in shock from the situation. 

"That. Was. Awesome." Peter had scooped you up into a hug, totally forgetting the glass on the floor, and his bare feet. That was a long afternoon of tweezing bits of glass from his heels. 

To think how far you've come in four years; it's astounding. From an unhappy fourteen year old in England, to someone excelling in something she's wanted her whole life in America - was this the so-called unattainable American Dream that every book written in the 1920's was about?

No, you thought. And you flicked your wrist in small circles, gliding your arm through the air. The water from your glass on the dresser began to float in mid air, moving towards where you sat.  
No, you thought. Because in this world, abilities like this aren't a dream.  
They'll make you someones target. 

Suddenly, your phone rang out loudly from across the room, and the elegant water toppled to the floor, flowing over the various bits of paper from colleges and internships. "Shit, fuck, shit-" Your heart raced as you tried uselessly to pick up the papers to minimise the damage, but you were already on your feet and running to where your phone lay on the desk, buzzing threateningly and sending jolts through your spine on every ring. 

You picked it up and locked eyes with the caller ID-

Unknown Number. 

You stopped breathing, your eyes filling with tears momentarily, before you stopped yourself and took in a deep breath. 

No more running. No more pretending like this side of you doesn't exist, because the fact is it does. If you actually got off your ass and started doing something useful, maybe you could be of help to someone, instead of cowering in fear at the thought of people out there in the world, looking down upon your gift like a gem in a jewellery shop. Do something, (Y/N), god dammit! Fucking do something! 

Without hesitating and with strong, capable hands, you clicked the pick up button and placed the phone to your ear, ready for whatever came at you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! thank you so much for making this kinda blow up a lil bit? i've never received this many kudos, comments and reads in one night before, damn. maybe its because the other fandoms i write for are kindaaaa small. hahaha. lets get this show on the road! ut gets kinda funny in this, disclaimer but womanly needs are talked about, meh. oh well. enjoy hahaha

You hung up the phone and recalled the last two minutes of your life in a blur-

"Hello?" You didn't stutter, but focused on your breathing.

"Hi, (Y/N), my name is Bruce Banner, I work for the Avenger's,"

"Yes, hi, I have, um, heard of you funnily enough." Banner chuckled on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, it kind of scares me how many people have," your eyebrow twitched. Did he just say, he was scared? With no offence to Dr. Banner and his fears, you couldn't help but smile just a little bit, perhaps you were over reacting the whole time.

I mean, they may have extraordinary powers, but, (some of them, at least) they were still human to begin with. 

"Look, (Y/N). I personally want to apologise for Stark's behaviour at your apartment-," there was a faint voice behind Banner's and you knew exactly who it was- "really sorry! I'm a crook!" You fought the urge to scoff. "When we saw the footage we were just, astounded, we hadn't even been looking for you,"

Hadn't been looking for you? What does that mean? They'd been spying for someone else?

"But now, ha, we're glad we came across you," you laughed awkwardly and tried to play it cool. "I know this may seem so very odd, (Y/N), but I'm a Doctor, I like science and any kind of cool thing I can find, and well, you come into that category."

"I'm honoured, Dr. Banner," and you genuinely were.

"If it's not too much trouble, could you maybe swing by Stark Towers sometime, I'd love to possibly see and understand your abilities further, only if it suits you, though."

You wracked your brain for any signs of hostility in Banner's voice, but couldn't divulge any. This guy was legit, you'd seen him on TV before and he came so highly commended. He was a marvel in the science field, and not too bad looking for an older guy either. You scrubbed the thought away and avoided trying to laugh at your crudity. "OK, Banner. I agree to these terms," you waited for a few seconds and heard giggling in the background of the line- "D'you hear that, Stark?" You curved your lip up in a smirk as you imagined the billionaire dancing up in his freaking tower.

"Sure did, Hun. I'll send a car," you were about to shut off the line when Tony came back. "Thank you, (Y/N). Really."

"That's more like it! I'm British, where were your manners before, huh?" You chuckled down the phone and any sense of fear you had at the beginning dissipated along with it, replaced by, was that excitement? 

"He left them in Afghanistan," Bruce chimed in. "We'll be in touch, many thanks, (Y/N)."

"Bye, Dr. Banner." The phone line went dead.

-

"Bruce Banner? THE Bruce Banner, on the phone?" Peter stood in your apartment with wide eyes, his hands moving from his head to the front of him, back and forth. For both of you, someone like Banner was the aim for later life.

"I know, I could have squealed," you flopped on your couch and began flicking through the channels, though you weren't really paying attention. 

Peter plopped himself down beside you, shaking the whole sofa backwards. You squinted at him secretly. When you'd first met him, he'd been a scrawny kid, not enough muscle, too big a head for his body. You remember the day you noticed the change, but I mean come on, fourteen to eighteen years old was the height of puberty, of course he was going to 'change'! It was just, rapid, that's all. You shrugged it off back then because you were overly tired and not giving a shit about anything but your damn uterus and the fact that only now it had started to ruin your life. Thanks for the wait, Mother Nature. Totally wanted that to look forward to on your fifteenth birthday!

He had truly grown up. His body had broadened out, revealing a muscular back that he'd never had, as well as a rock-hard stomach that you'd seen more times than you could count, considering Peter literally spent most of his time in boxer shorts and eating peanut butter off the spoon. His jawline had jutted out, creating a clean border for his now perfectly symmetrical face, and his hair suited him better than when he was younger. He'd grown taller, too. Quite tall. Taller than yourself by a long shot.

Was he, attractive? 

I mean, technically, yeah, probably. Maybe? You didn't know. It seemed weird to find your best friend attractive. 

You looked back to the TV, your cheeks reddening suddenly. In an attempt to conceal your blush, you got up off the couch quickly and headed to your room, trying not to think about the thought that had just popped into your head-

Did he,  
Did he think you were attractive, too?  
NO! Not 'too', just, did he?  
Why were you even thinking about this? 

You tried frantically to fan your face and calm down the redness, but it proved futile and only ended up making you panic more.

"What the hell are you doing?" You swivelled around frantically and saw Peter, leaning with ease against your doorframe, his arms folded and an amused smirk on his face. You thought lightning fast to think of an excuse, maybe something to blow him entirely off your thought trail, maybe something that wasn't too awkward. Maybe?

"I'm a woman, Peter. Sometimes I get hot flushes, that's what happens in life, OK?" 

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT? HOT FLUSHES?

You thought for sure Peter would back away red-faced, possibly leave the apartment with a quick "er, I gotta go, bye", but he did the exact opposite. He shuffled forward on the floor and made a bee-line for your bed, lounging down on it and lying back on your pillow. 

What a jerk, how he could just, make himself at home in your own room. What a damn jerk.

"Aunt May gets them all the time, she calls it this word, like meno-something?"

"Are we really talking about this?" You stood, amazed at your friend's relaxation towards the whole subject of girls in general. Last year, Peter Parker would have died at the thought of a girl getting blush on her face, but there the bastard was, normal as a daisy and literally lounging on your own bed as you claimed to be having a hot flush. Jesus. Where the hell was the old Peter Parker? The dorky boy who used to light up at algebra and speak in Spanish whenever you guys went to your favourite restaurant. 

He was kinda, cool, now? Peter? Cool? 

Your cheeks flushed an even brighter shade of neon red.

"I'm not really bothered, (Y/N). It's human nature. You never used to get embarrassed before, a month ago you literally came into my apartment and started having a conversation with May about how painful your period was that month."

Well, he got you there. You accepted defeat and plummeted down onto the end of your bed, your legs dangling off the end. Peter moved his body so it was parallel to yours, his arms resting on his chest, yours flopped to your sides. You sighed, and could feel the heat calming from your face, the whole Avenger's debacle spiralling back into your mind.

Peter sensed your thoughts. "When will you go and meet them?" He turned his head to the side and gazed at your side profile, your mouth in a slight frown. You shrugged.

"I don't know, Tony said he'd bring a car over, you know how he is..." for the past few years Peter had landed himself a position in some Stark Internship. He'd told you he met Tony Stark a few times, but not much. If you could speak to anyone about the Avenger's and Stark, then it was most definitely Peter. You were glad you had him.

"Yeah. Too loaded for his own good." The both of you laughed and you found yourself moving your body to the side and giving Peter a lying down hug. He reciprocated and the two of you held each other tightly, thankful for each other's company and care. His head slotted in the space between your shoulder and neck, and you stayed there for a while, just in each other's arms, not giving a shit what was happening outside in the world. 

"Thank you for being here with me," you whispered in his ear. You could sense his smile after you'd spoken, and his grip on you got tighter just for a second as recognition that he'd heard.

"Always, (Y/N). Thunder buddies for life, remember?" You thought back to the time when you guys had a movie night and watched Ted. For weeks after, neither of you could stop singing the thunder buddies song, and it became an inside joke immediately. You laughed silently, still clutching Peter. You both stayed there silently for another minute or two, enjoying the contact and understanding that you had with one another.

"You getting another hot flush?" You could literally feel Peter's shit-eating grin.

"OK, the moment's over-" you untangled yourself from him, but he fought back. The laughter was contagious, but it felt good to laugh, really good. It erased all of the bullshit in life and got rid of bad feelings for at least a few moments. To laugh with Peter was like laughing for your life, and you loved it. Always.

\- 

"Yeah, I will, Jason, don't worry about it really," You spoke with your foster dad on the phone. Jason was a lawyer and worked incredibly hard, the only difference with him from your real dad was that he actually called you. It was nice to hear his voice. He'd just told you the case he's working on has had a breakthrough, so he won't be home much for the next few weeks. His wife and your foster mum, Debbie, was on a retreat for her work. She was a baker, one of New York's finest. People from around the world came to try her creations and they were pretty damn good. "I've got food money, and Peter was gonna take me to see that new movie tomorrow so we'll get a bite there, too."

"I do like that Peter kid," You could sense the change in Jason's voice from across the line and furrowed your brow, resting your elbow on the kitchen counter top. 

"Why do you say it like that..." 

"No reason, (Y/N). Be good, OK?" You laughed to yourself.

"I will, see you soon. Don't work too hard." The phone shut off and you huffed. The apartment to yourself for the next two weeks. Great. 

You sat on the couch and channel surfed, then you got up and paced the kitchen, getting a drink of water and downing it in two gulps. You travelled to your room and looked around the walls, thinking about redecorating at some point in the future; it was all too, plain. You sat on your bed and thought of taking a nap. Then got up and paced some more. Jesus, you thought. Is it impossible for me to shut off? 

You glanced towards the dry but crumpled Med school applications on your desk, your body thinking of going through them.

You found yourself jumping off your bed and grabbing your jacket. You left the apartment and locked the door behind you, slotting in your earbuds and blasting Florence & The Machine through your skull. You took a left at the bottom of your apartment block, sticking your hands in your pockets and breathing in the fresh Queens evening air. Everything was prettier at dusk. The traffic lights shone like Christmas tree ornaments, car horns honked in unison and spelled out a song, or a word in morse code. Everything felt sacred in dwindling light and you thanked the world that you got to live in this neighbourhood, surrounded by beauty on every corner and confronted by kindness at every shop front. 

Sure, Queens was seen as rough, but not by the people who lived there. The neighbourhood was a community, and community was strong. Peter literally lived six blocks away, and every Friday for the last four years you guys had gone to Mr Delmoor's Deli shop and bought a sandwich. 

"My, who's this Mr. Parker?" Mr Delmoor had been kind and welcoming, offering you a free sandwich as your first. You saw him assemble it, picking and choosing the right toppings and the right sauces, and damn, it had tasted good.

"This is (Y/N), she just had her first week at Midtown with me." Peter squeaked out, his face going a little bit red. It seemed crazy to remember back to those memories; you were fourteen, you were a child. How you'd both grown and changed in four years, still as close as ever, if not, having got even closer to each other. 

You'd been there when Peter had been bullied by Flash, who liked to mock him and call him Penis Parker. Needless to say, Flash had stopped after a knee to his crotch from yours truly. In the corridors when the two of you walked together, Flash would choose one side of the hall and stay there, walking as close to the lockers as humanly possible, while you gave him a sweet smile, mixed with the reminder that you could and most certainly would revisit his area if the opportunity ever presented itself. 

Peter had stuck up for you, and his other good friend, Ned, countless times. After you arrived at Midtown, you hadn't spoken much, scared of how the students would look at you after they found out you were from England and there on scholarship. Eventually, you had to talk, and when you did the questions seemed like they'd never stop.

"Were you a science prodigy in England?"  
"Do you know anyone that goes to Oxford University?"  
"Why do you say tap instead of faucet?" that last one made my Flash, and got a large bout of laughter from all the upperclass men. 

"Ignore them, (Y/N), they're just jealous because you have a cool accent." You smiled at Ned and placed a hand on his shoulder, a smile on your face.

"Oh Ned, you're so right," Peter glanced at the two of you and smiled, watching as the two of you laughed together.

"Lego and movie night today?" Peter chimed in, stopping in front of his locker and squeaking it open. 

"Hell yeah! Peter, I got the Death Star..." You watch as Ned and Peter bonded over their shared love, and it filled you with joy. "So lame-" you heard it echo from behind you, coming from the mouth of some cheerleader still in her uniform from practice. Your blood boiled.

"Is knowing the inside and out of one of the most dangerous and destructive planets in the galaxy lame?" You spoke up, turning to face the cheerleader full on. "You'd know how to disable the doors and shields, and, well, that would ultimately make you dangerous yourself, considering you'd know how to both operate and destroy the Death Star in turn," the cheerleader flushed a bright red at the confrontation, the entire hall way seeming to die down in noise. She scurried away, her two other cheerleader friends trailing behind her. You turned back to Peter and Ned and saw the astonished look on both of their faces. "I was gonna say 'stop, it's a trap' but I thought she wouldn't understand the reference." 

"That was badass," Ned said, looking up at you with wide eyes. That was sophomore year, the beginning of. You, Peter and Ned had all become best friends, truly, and you still were. Ned, though, had landed himself on the radar of Princeton, and had been attending various debates and conferences, having been invited by the head professor of the school of science there. Peter and you hadn't seen him properly in six months or so, but knew he was doing well. 

"But unfortunately, I can't hang out tonight. Debbie needs help with an order for some big name business guy," You winked at Peter playfully. 

"Why'd you do that..." he squinted. 

"Let's just say his name sounds kinda like Stank. He be Stanky." Peter's eyes lit up. "Have fun destroying the galaxy!" 

The Monday after that weekend, Ned and Peter had stayed uncharacteristically quiet. You hadn't pushed them for answers. 

You turned the corner onto Peter's street, bobbing your head to Oasis's 'Love Like A Bomb'. A car drove weirdly slow from half way down the street, and you furrowed your brows at the windscreen, not quite able to see who the driver was. You looked away quickly, as the car passed you excruciatingly slowly, your heart thumping for some unknown reason. You continued on down the road, catching your breath, and were only a few apartments away from Peter's when a car horn honked from behind you.

You swivelled around and pivoted on your left foot, your breath hitching in your throat and sweat popping on your forehead. The street was empty, apart from you and the car that had just passed you. Was that? Who you thought it was? You walked back to the car, hesitating with every step you took, your heart thumping faster and faster the closer you got to the black vehicle with tinted back windows. You approached it, and ducked your head down to the back passenger window, trying to see a face in the reflective glass.

The window clicked down, making you jump out of your skin. There sat Tony Stark, his glasses on the end of his nose, his eyes literally staring into your soul. 

"Hey, is now a good time?" You nodded slowly, not being able to form words from the jumbled amount of thoughts in your head. There was a click, and the car door swung over, revealing Tony budging up to the other side of the backseat. He gestured for you to get in, and with one glance to Peter's apartment, you ducked your head under the car roof and slammed the door shut.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double upload, i know, i have no self control. after this chapter i'm going to try and update every week/two weeks. i may make the chapters longer too but i'm not sure, i'm just having so much fun writing this!  
> alsooo  
> I've explained before but I just wanna make it clearrrrr like a crystal, Peter and Tony know each other (yeah they do) and Peter has his cool suit, not his pjs (yeah he cute). All the events of Spider-man homecoming have happened already, since Peter is now 18, all except him helping Tony fight cap in civil war - in this part of the fic Sokovia hasn't even happened yet, so neither has civil war - but it'll happen soon (spoilers lol).  
> hope that makes it clearer! thankyou for the support!

The car is eerily silent as it pulls into the underground car park at Stark Towers. You knew Stark was rich, but this was RICH. You fought the urge to take pictures of everything when you stepped out of the car, the door being opened by the driver, a large, short man with brown curly hair.

"Thanks, Happy, give us a minute." Tony said, tapping his arm on your shoulder and gesturing for you to follow him. The man called Happy looked at his feet and threw the car keys up in the air to look like he was doing something; he missed the catch and they clattered to the floor, echoing throughout the car park. Happy quickly picked them up once more and turned his back on you and Tony, embarrassed. 

Tony called for an elevator, and the doors dinged open. You both shuffled in awkwardly, the silence starting to dig deep into your ears so you could hear every individual heartbeat raging from your chest. The lift started moving upwards and Tony tilted his head to the ceiling before speaking- "Who's in tonight, Jarvis?" His eyes flicked to you in anticipation and excitement. 

"Clint and Natasha have gone to collect dinner, everyone else is accounted for, Sir." You opened your eyes wide and looked around the elevator, expecting to see another person standing there with you both. 

"Thank you, Jarvis. This is (Y/N), by the way- my new best friend." You scoffed at the philanthropist and crossed your arms, holding back a smile. 

"Hello, (Y/N). My name is Jarvis, I'm Mr. Stark's personal programmed AI facility. Like a PA in the ceiling," You chuckled at the posh voice all around you, noting his English accent. 

"Nice to meet you, Jarvis." Two seconds later and the elevator came to a stop, the doors opening wide to reveal Stark Towers in all of its beauty. As you and Tony stepped out, the space around you doubled into mile high ceilings and the most impeccable view of New York City unfurled around you, encasing you in the skyline itself. You couldn't help but gawk at the scenery, before turning round and taking in all of Stark's possessions. From tribal masks to ming vases, Tony Stark had a lot of stuff, including a sick leather couch that could sit at least twenty people at one time. The kitchen was fully stocked and looked ready to cater an army, and the room was lit up by invisible lights from under ceiling panels; they changed colour every five seconds - red, orange, yellow, etc, etc...

"She's a beaut, isn't she?" 

"She's a super model." You replied, still in awe. You hadn't blinked since the lift doors had opened. 

"I can see why you liked her, Tony," Bruce Banner spoke from a chair in the living room, a book in his hand and glasses balanced on his nose. The Dr. got up and removed his specs, walking towards you with a polite smile. He held his hand out and you took it in your own. "(Y/N), it's amazing to meet you."

"I thought I'd be the one to say that to you, Dr. Banner, you beat me to it." You and Banner smiled at each other, before walking towards the kitchen island, where Tony stood pouring himself a a scotch. 

"Jarvis, can you call everyone in."

"Certainly, Sir." You expected to hear some kind of footsteps going to get the others; was it not odd living with AI all around you? You wanted to ask a million questions, but refrained; you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of some of the most incredible people the world had ever known. 

A minute later and the other Avengers appeared, your brain trying to force your mouth into the biggest of smiles, but it was held back. They were a sight to behold; upon one glance, they were normal people, but all that they've done, all that they've contributed towards the world- anyone would feel the need to get down on one knee to greet them. You were reminded of how annoying the celebrity aspect of it must be, and that brought down your excitement into something much easier to handle. You got up confidently from the bar and immediately went to greet the heroes. 

Steve Rogers was first, and he stepped with such ease towards you, his hand extended. "Hi, Ma'm, it's lovely to meet you."

"And yourself, Mr. Rogers." You were amazed that your hand hadn't shaken in his. You turned towards his two colleagues, who you recognised as Sam Wilson and James Rhodes.

"Mr. Wilson, Mr. Rhodes;" You nodded towards them both and smiled. 

"Well, now that the ice is somewhat broken," Tony glanced towards Cap and made finger guns. Steve's face didn't change, but Sam was holding back a laugh behind him. "Shall we start this chat off?"

\- 

Sat on Tony Stark's sofa and surrounded by Earth's Mightiest Heroes was not what you thought you'd ever be doing, but surprisingly, it almost came naturally to you. Thor had arrived ten minutes after you all sat down, and introduced himself. He was the toughest by far to say hi to, and you ended up opening your mouth, closing it, and then simply waving to the Prince of Asgard as your face changed colour rapidly. Sam glanced your way and commented; "I know, he dresses like an Opera star." 

"Sam, it would be wise not to offend my outfit when what you are wearing is something commonly worn by people who are large and sweat a lot." Sam glanced at his sweat pants and got up, grouching. He returned two minutes later wearing black worn jeans. 

"Do you think you were born with them, despite not knowing about them until you were twelve?" Banner said, a notepad and pen in hand. You wracked your brain as you took a sip of your water. 

"I think I must have been, nothing happened to me to act as a trigger for them to appear." 

"Can I ask, out of curiosity, what your powers are exactly?" Rhodes chimed in, leaning forward on the couch and placing his elbows on his knees. Understanding your powers was easier when you saw them, so with the flick of your hand, you levitated the water that was once in your glass unmoving. It flew through the air effortlessly and changed it's shape endlessly, spiralling up the stairwell and circling the coffee table in front of everyones eyes. As a finale, you used your other hand and manipulated the fire from the fireplace; it spun out suddenly from the place and evaporated the water in the blink of an eye, leaving no residue of anything ever being there. 

"It's mostly elemental, but I can manipulate some very un-reactive metals." Rhodes gulped down his amazement and glanced at Bruce, who was practically drooling.

In the silence, the door to the elevator dinged and out came Natasha and Clint, three large bags held in their hands. "We brought Chinese food-" Clint glanced around the room and clocked eyes with you. "Oh, hey," Before you could think, you were up and smiling. 

"Mr. Barton, it's amazing to meet you in person." Screw not being amazed by them; everyone was amazed by them. The rest of the Avengers looked on with amused faces as you approached Barton and shook his hand. 

"Wow, thank you- the pleasure's all mine." Clint smiled so wide and clocked eyes with Sam, who raised his eyebrows at the archer. Natasha went to the kitchen and got out plates. 

"Dig in guys, we got you some, too." Nat made a bee-line for you and held your shoulders together sturdily. "You have good form. You'd make a good assassin." 

"I will- take that as a compliment," you smiled at the Black Widow and went back to sit on the sofa. Thor got up and clapped his hands together, licking his lips at the food. 

"(Y/N), what's the interest in Barton?" Steve asked, sending a wink at Clint as he got comfy on a chair opposite the couch. 

"I used to do archery a lot," you began. "I remember seeing footage of New York and having a mixture of emotions at the scene, it must have been terrible," You looked down at your hands as if to say thank you for what the people in that very room had done for the world. "I loved archery so much, so seeing the Hawkeye," you gestured at Clint, who nodded in thanks. "It was totally a kid moment to look at him and think 'I'm gonna be like him when I grow up!'". But, I got my powers at twelve, I could move metal, so archery was too easy. I didn't have fun doing it anymore, and I felt bad, like I'd be cheating if I kept up with it. So, I stopped." You sighed a little, looking around the room with a small smile. 

"Reminds me of someone else-" Tony said, unknowing that it had come out of his mouth. He shrugged it off quickly and added. "Oh, (Y/N), your good friend is Peter Parker right?" 

Your eyes lit up at his name. The other Avengers looked uneasy for a brief second. "Yeah, my closest friend. Has been since I moved here. He works for your internship."

"Internship?" Thor interjected through a mouthful of food; half of it fell from his mouth and onto the kitchen island. Steve shot daggers at the Prince. 

"Yeah, big guy, my internship programme," Tony got up, a thoughtful look on his face suddenly. "He's a good kid. Smart." You nodded, wondering why the room was suddenly so silent and full of tension that you could cut it with a butter knife. 

"Well," uttered Banner, pulling his glasses off his nose. "I have enough stuff to start investigating further, thank you, (Y/N)." You nodded at Bruce before glancing at the clock. 11:26PM.

"Shit, is it already that late? I should really head back to the apartment-" You shot up and grabbed your jacket off the island, turning round and thanking every Avenger in turn. They all smiled and held up their hands. 

"I'll get Happy to take you back," Tony said, texting at the same time. "It's a bummer Pepper couldn't meet you this time, I know she'd have latched onto you like everyone else did." You blushed slightly and looked around the room at the heroes- wait, people. They were people. You knew them at least a small amount now. You can't have a problem with the whole celebrity that comes alongside the job and then treat them like you already know everything about them, screaming their name on the street like you're best friends. The elevator dinged and you got in, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

"Thank you all for inviting me in, I had a great time." 

"Jarvis, car park," Jarvis responded with a blunt "Yes, Sir." "I'll give you another call sometime, don't be a stranger, come see us again." You nodded at Mr. Stark and the doors closed, shutting off your view of the concrete jungle flittering with bright lights. 

Tony turned back to his teammates. "Clint, you got your first fan!" everyone stifled their laughs, and Clint frowned, nodding as his retort was being thought out.

"Go to hell, Tony."

"Already been there, pal."

\- 

The next few days went by as a blur. Ever since you'd got the job at New York's largest Apple Store, you'd been working a lot; it helped you get your mind away from more serious things, and also kept you stimulated and focused. Besides, being so close to the centre of New York wasn't all bad, you met some right characters and got to spend a lot of time in the city. Your Med school applications still sat, unfilled out on your desk at home. Things were complicated now.

On your fifth shift, the impossible happened. "Hi, Sir, welcome to the Apple Store-" you were fiddling on your iPad, trying to find the appointments list. When you looked up, who was in front of you, but Spider-Man. 

"Thanks, now I have a small problem," the masked hero held up his phone, which was completely smashed; it wouldn't even turn on. You could have sworn you saw him shaking slightly, but divulged that in fact it was you from how fast your heart was thumping. "Think you can salvage it?" You furrowed your brows and a small chuckle escaped your lips. He may have been Spider-Man, but that phone was well and truly broke.

"Erm, ha. Let me go and find my manager. Follow me please." You smiled and looked him in his, what, lenses? 

Ten minutes later, you were showing the hero out of the store, a new phone in his hand. "Look I can pay for this, I don't feel right-"

"Dude, iPhones are overly expensive as shit," you spoke quietly so no one could overhear. "Take it. If I was in your position, I would probably do the same. Probably." You nodded and smiled, backing away from the hero. 

"Ha. Fair enough, I guess." Spider-Man slipped the phone into a small invisible pocket in his suit. 

"How'd it happen, anyway?" You asked, curiosity beginning to wander in through the shop door. Spider-Man laughed, he looked almost embarrassed, despite the mask covering his expression and identity. 

"The cracking? Did that ages ago- I er, dropped it down the toilet. 'Cause I'm stupid." both of you laughed in happy spurts. 

"It's OK, I'll tell everyone you beat up a bad guy." You wiped a laughter tear from your eye and stood thinking for a moment. "You remind me so much of someone I know- he's useless with his phone." Spider-Man went silent for a few seconds too long for it not to be weird. He suddenly sputtered out a single laugh.

"I owe you one. If I ever see you again, I'll buy you a coffee."

"A sandwich would be better."

"Deal!" the hero waved and headed out the door, shooting a web up into the air and disappearing out of sight, but not before glancing back at you. 

Your work colleague came up from behind you and squeezed your shoulder. "You just, bagged a date with Spider-Man." You turned away from the shop door, swinging your body playfully and tapping idly on your work iPad. "Oooooo!" She cooed from behind you.

"Oh, shut up!" You yelled jokingly, headed for the break room.

-

The air was crisp when you left work, taking in the April flavoured whiff of New York in the early evening. You decided to take a detour home and walk through Times Square, the hustle and bustle of the city filling you with contempt. The bright lights reminded you of the view of the city from Stark Towers, and you smiled at the memory of a few weeks ago. Tony had texted you once to check up, and you'd said all was fine. You weren't itching for another time to head to Stark Towers, so to speak, but you wouldn't mind hanging out with them all again either. 

You looked down at your feet as you approached the Square, there was a tap on your shoulder and you looked round. "Me again!" you staggered backwards with a sudden smile on your face as Spider-Man stood with his arms wide open, and with a cheesy grin under his mask (you assumed). 

"Hi- there," You scoffed and averted your gaze to the people around you, pointing and staring at you and Spider-Man, it set you slightly on edge. "Wow, people really do you know." You flicked your gaze back to the masked man, and saw that he wasn't looking at you, or the others, but at the main screen in the Square. 

"I don't mean to be- er- is that you?" You whipped yourself around and looked at the screen. 

There for all to see was the news, and on the news was footage of you, taken from a few weeks back at Stark Towers. The caption read 'Accidentally caught on camera: A new Avenger in the works?" You could have collapsed into an abyss in that moment and been happy about it. The people, you saw, weren't looking at Spider-Man, but from the screen, to you and back again. They were all. Staring. At. You. You turned back to the unknown hero as you tried to steady yourself. You grabbed his shoulder for a second, before removing it and muttering a sorry. 

The whole of Times Square was looking at you manipulating water and fire with your bare hands, surrounded by the Avengers in their own base. It looked like the obvious; like you were one of them. Shit. Shit. Shit. To top it all off, the camera that moved around Times Square chose that moment to land on you. On two screens your face shone like the sun, and more people were beginning to notice. You heard people mutter from all angles about you, and even saw some attempting to come up to you. You stared Spider-Man in the face. 

"I- need to leave. I need to go-" You stuttered through the words and headed towards the nearest Subway station. You needed to get back to Queens. You needed to go and see Peter. 

"Wait, wait, wait!" Spider-Man landed in front of your frantic self, his hands up. "Let me take you, I'll get you out of here fast," All you could do was nod as he grabbed you gently and told you to hold on. "Where to?"

"Queens. 140 Primrose Street, Flat C," Your eyes stayed wide open as Spider-Man readied himself, taking more time than you thought it should. "Are you OK-"

"Yeah, yeah, just- calculating the distance. Let's go, don't let go, OK? I won't drop you." He shot a web from his right hand and you were off, flying through the air with ease, from building to building. Every time he switched arms and shot a different web, your stomach dropped; you were literally in mid air with nothing holding you up at those points. Your arms hurt from tensing around Spider-Man's neck for so long; you wondered how he managed to do it. 

Peter's mind reeled and found nothing. You were both heading towards Queens, yes, but not (Y/N)'s apartment- Peter was heading straight to his. And he wasn't home. At this, his mind trailed back to the moment he'd told Ned not to tell anyone about his secret, including you. You had enough on your plate having moved to Queens a year ago, to a new school in a new place. The year after you'd told him about your powers, and that's when he vowed not to tell you; you didn't need the added pressure.

But he knew, he knew that if and, inevitably, when you found out about him; you'd be crushed. "No secrets, yeah?" Peter nodded as he grabbed your pinky in his. You smiled at him as you both left the library, headed for fifth period. That was freshman year. That was years ago. And he'd been lying ever since. 

-

You bounded up the stairs at speed, the tears now covering your entire face, your vision not proving useful but your memory of running up these stairs so many times saved you from toppling over at any point. You reached Flat C, and knocked on the door, too tired to try and reach the key. "Peter- it's (Y/N)-" You sobbed and stopped knocking, instead falling down the door and sitting, waiting, for anything. 

A second later Peter clicked the door open and picked you up by the arms, muttering your name over and over, and stroking your hair. "What's wrong, tell me, what's wrong-"

You hugged him tightly and noticed his bare chest. Why was he practically naked? And why were you noticing it? You sniffed and removed yourself from his grip a little. "Why- why're you just in your boxers, Peter?" You said, the tears still falling endlessly down your face, plummeting to the floor and landing with a faint tap each time. Peter smiled and laughed a little. He made up something on the spot, something to cheer you up. 

"I was just about to get in the shower- caught me at a bad time, you." He laughed, and you laughed too, wiping your eyes as the giggle hit your stomach, making you feel slightly better. 

"What happened?" 

Peter brought you a cup of tea as you sat on the sofa. You explained everything, even the part about Spider-Man at work. "So did he buy you the sandwich?"

"Peter, this is serious." You looked up at him, your eyes pleading for help. 

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what I can say to make it better," He draped his arm round your shoulder. You breathed deeply and tried to calm your nerves. The news wasn't showing the story anymore, so you felt better from that. You didn't know whether or not Stark would know about it, but if he did you'd assumed he would probably call you first. You reached into your bag and got out your wallet, slipping Tony's business card out from one of the pockets. Peter saw and grabbed your phone from the coffee table, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

"I need to call Tony," you looked Peter in his eyes and he smiled, nodding. You punched in the number and put the receiver to your ear, your heart feeling as if it was going to fly out of your chest. 

"(Y/N), I'm on to Channel 5 already, I'm suing their ass for not respecting privacy; I'm gonna get 'em shut down- (Y/N)?" Tony's voice echoed down the phone as it dropped from your ear. Peter held you tighter, concerned.

"(Y/N)?" Peter whispered. 

"I- think I'm going to be sick." You ran to the bathroom, and locking the door behind you, wanted to erase yourself from the world entirely.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so, you know how i was gonna upload every week? screw it, i'm two chapters ahead so i'll post one. i don't know how long this fic will be but it won't be short. lets get crying !

You sat on the cold, tiled floor of Peter's bathroom, feeling even worse than before you threw up. Your heart never gave you a break; it's beating was incessant and threatened to rip open your chest and destroy you all together. This was anxiety, and anxiety was not simply being nervous.

To be anxious is to be physically uncomfortable, mentally paranoid about literally everything and without common knowledge that in fact, everything is fine, no one is bothered about you at all. Yet there's that constant nagging still present, wherever you go, living alongside you in a relationship that you never wanted or asked for.

Peter had known about your anxiety for a while, but he also knew you were strong. You'd been through a lot, what with your home life back in England, and practically moving out at age fourteen. 

Peter had a radar that detected whenever you were having a bad anxiety day, and he respected that. He related in some ways to having family difficulties, and both of you had overcome struggles. 

"They were killed, in a plane crash. I was seven. Aunt May and my Uncle raised me since then, and after Ben died, well," Peter sat with you on the bed at that one house party where a lot of things were discussed. You'd sobered up enough to stop crying, Peter having calmed you down and listened intently to your fears about your abilities. You squeezed his hand. "May's all I have. I can't leave her." 

Compared to Peter, you were simply whining, you thought. For him, at least, you needed to be stronger, you needed to be better. You were capable of protecting yourself, you wouldn't sit back and watch someone hurt another person. But sometimes things became too much to handle. And right now, sitting on the floor of Peter's bathroom having just vomited and the Iron Man suing a news channel for exposing your abilities to the world was one of those times. 

"(Y/N)," Peter knocked gently on the door, it hadn't crossed your mind how long you'd been sat there. "I'm coming in." He clicked the door open and you stood up, shakily. 

"Hi," you sniffed, and plodded over to where he stood, his arm snaking around your waist lovingly, leading you to his room. You looked around as you sat on his bed, your eye catching the Death Star sitting in the corner on top of his wardrobe. It was covered in a light film of dust, but you smiled at the fact you knew Peter and Ned had spent an entire evening assembling it. Peter came in with a glass of water and two Advil. 

"Have a nap, OK? I'm going to see if I can maybe reach out to Mr. Stark- like, through the internship," you shook your head, a frown appearing.

"No, Peter, please. I don't want you feeling like you have to get involved, it's my problem, it's my fau-" 

"It's not your fault," he grabbed your face in his hands, being firm but caring. "I'll help fix it, OK? Because I want to, not because I have to." You furrowed your brows and looked down, his hands still clutching you. You brought your hand and placed it over one of his, your thumb circling slowly. 

You looked up towards Peter and flicked your eyes to his. They were a warm hazel, the same eyes you'd seen the first time you met him. A lot of things may have changed, about you both, but you were the same on the inside. Peter crouched down and smiled, moving his hands to your knees. To sit in silence may have seemed awkward, or tense, but with Peter it was simply more time that you could spend together with one another. You looked down and started fiddling with his hands, his palms were soft and his fingernails unbitten, but dirty under the surface. Your eyes trailed up his body, past his chin, and the small amount of stubble that he'd missed while shaving. You passed his lips, which were a soft pink and slightly chapped, but still pristine. Past his nose and then the space between his eyebrows; you traced a small scar on his forehead; you hadn't noticed it before. Then you hit his eyes again, and melted slightly, not realising what you were doing anymore. 

Wait-  
Advil, he'd just brought you Advil.   
You were in Peter's room with Peter and you were breathing him in-   
Your best friend.   
Stop! 

You blinked suddenly and smiled, your eyes widening and coming back into reality. He did the same thing, suddenly realising the situation you'd both been in; his cheeks going the slightest of reds. He moved his hands hesitantly, and you moved yours up to hug your arms. "Er- I'll call you, if I manage to talk to Tony." You nodded and smiled, crossing your legs on his bed. He went to leave the room.

"Wait, Peter-" he turned back, his hand on the doorframe. "Can I borrow some pj's, these are my work clothes." 

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Second drawer." 

"Thank you, for everything." He looked down at his feet, the apartment keys clanging together in his hand. He looked up once more, his eyes piercing straight through you, laced with so much sincerity, and love and care. 

"You will always and forever be welcome, (Y/N)." 

You got up and changed, hopping into a comfy pair of plaid pyjama pants, that were too long for you, and an oversized science pun t-shirt. You looked at yourself in the mirror and smiled at the shirt fondly- you’d seen Peter wear it many times before. The fabric felt soft against your skin, and your heart felt oddly warm at the fact you were wearing Peter’s clothes. You frowned at yourself; you’re so weird, you thought. 

Jumping back onto Peter’s bed, you heard the door to the apartment open and close once more, and jolts of panic ran through you. It had been five minutes- why was he back? Was it even him? 

You got up slowly and skulked behind the doorframe, hearing muffled whispering coming from around the corner, in the kitchen. Without thinking, you grabbed Peter’s Minecraft sword and left his room, ceasing to breathe as you rounded the corner, ready to take on-  
“Tony?” Stark and Peter both looked up from where they were standing and smiled the exact same smile; something laced with awkwardness, and perhaps secrecy. 

“Hey, kid,” Tony approached you and placed a hand on your shoulder in some attempt to reassure you. “Spoke to Channel 5, pulled the plug on all their stories as of today, and they’re starting fresh in their news slots- maybe something like ‘Which dress fits best?’ mumbo-jumbo.”

“Mr. Stark-,”

“(Y/N), we need you to come back to the tower; because of this footage we need to take a step in some kind of direction.” You furrowed your brows at the playboy, glancing behind you at Peter, who stood with his arms crossed. 

“I’m not sure, I can commit to that right now,” Tony breathed in deeply. 

“If it’s a concern about whether you’ll be seen then you won’t, I assure you. I’ve got the baby locked up tight, nothing is getting in that crib, not even a helicopter cam, OK?” He stared you down with his iron gaze and you were left stood there like a deer in headlights. 

“If- it’ll help sort out this mess? OK, I’ll come back, let me get my phone.”

“You’re not, gonna change?” Tony flicked his eyes up and down at you, and you stood still, a blank expression plastered on your face, your lips pursed. “And that’s- fine.” Tony raised his hands up and smiled, turning round to Peter and muttering “Totally fine, yeah.” Your best friend simply stood silently, his face looking contorted in deep thought. What was on his mind? 

You left the apartment with Tony, and gestured for Peter to come too. “No, no, the kid stays, sorry.” Tony said before you or Peter could get a word out. You looked down, disappointed, then up and saw Peter’s huffed expression. Something was wrong. Tony pulled you through the door and down the stairs before you could even try and protest.

-

“I never wanted the media to find out, unless it was necessary in some way, alright?” You stood with your arms crossed in Stark Tower, the Avengers sat at the dining room table with ducked heads. Banner looked at you, recalling your first phone call; he’d immediately got the impression that you didn’t want to be seen as a big deal. 

“Well, they found out, (Y/N). And we need to do something to sort it. This isn’t going to go away on its own.” Steve spoke up, his hands clutched together on the table. 

“What would you suggest, Captain? Because I have nothing. Already people are working out that it was me in that footage; you can see my face as clear as day-,”

“We know.” Tony paced the space behind the kitchen island. His tone of voice was sharp and tinged with anger. He’d snapped at you, and the after silence was excruciatingly difficult to bare. Tension coiled through the air like smoke.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Iron Man. I’m sorry that just because you don’t give a shit about being bombarded by fifty reporters and the public every time you leave an important building that it would seem so god damn astounding that someone else actually wouldn’t want that.” Natasha breathed in, Clint stopped altogether. 

Tony turned his body towards you, taking his glasses off, his eyes pierced through you. “You want the truth? Of how we’re gonna fix this situation? Because denial is going to get us nowhere, you know that right?” You frowned and rubbed your temples. “The media sees what the media wants to see; and they saw a new Avenger. So why not just make you one?”

One half of you could have scoffed, and the other could have kicked over one of the dining chairs. You shoved your tongue to the roof of your mouth as your throat began closing up, and you shook your head slowly, before walking round the room to the leather sofa. “No.” you muttered, quietly. “No.” you said, louder this time, and looked Stark directly in his eyes, handing your soul to him on a plate. 

“Why-,” Tony chuckled, puting a finger to his lips and blinking. He moved round from the island and crossed his arms. “Why do you not understand that- we want you. We want you to be here. On this team,” he gestured to the other Avengers. You caught eyes with Clint, who gave you a small smile. “Why don’t you get that?”

“This world. All this!” You flailed your arms around, gesturing to the entirety of the room, the entirety of Stark Towers. “It’s not for me-,”

“Why not!” Tony boomed, his voice echoing across the massive space, and only seeming to make you more willing to stick up for yourself. 

“It’s just not.” You whispered. 

“Then you’re a coward.” 

“Tony-,” Steve got up from his seat, but you gestured for him to sit back down. 

“I’m right. She’s a coward. You’re a coward, (Y/N).” 

You felt nothing. No remorse, or sadness, because Tony had literally confirmed what type of person he was. 

“You can call me whatever you want- coward, lazy, afraid. And maybe I’m all three, maybe I’m more!” You laughed, but as soon as that brief chuckle had escaped your lips, your face dropped. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you approached Tony slowly, anger raging through your very being, your blood boiling and threatening to topple over off the stove at any moment. “But at least, Mr. Stark-,”  
“I’m honest. I’m not shrouded in a world full of lies and deception, and arrogance- self-centred beyond the realm of healthy, just for the camera, just for the billionaire, playboy, philanthropist image that circulates around you like a second skin.” You paused, finding confidence from nowhere. “I am good. I am a good person. I don’t lie. People around me, don’t lie.”

“You, Tony Stark, are a fake.” You spat the last sentence out and backed up, heading for the elevator. A small chuckle echoed from behind you, and you stopped. Tony faced you, his face resembled a bull about to strike. You didn’t allow yourself to waver. 

“Lies, huh? Deception, oh. Do you know anything about what being around the truth is really like?”

“What the hell did I just-,”

“No, (Y/N), you don’t,” a smile spread across Stark’s face, and this time you saw Steve, Clint and Sam all rising from their chairs. “Who is Peter Parker?” Your stomach dropped and your face twitched. What was he talking about? You didn’t say anything, but saw Steve’s head flop down, his expression pained. Sam looked towards you with an apology in his stare. “Your best friend, Peter bloody Parker,” Tony leant back on the kitchen island. “Best friends have no secrets, right? Yeah?” Tony nodded theatrically to the Avengers, they all looked away in disgust. 

“Are you really so blind?”

“Spit it out, Tony.” You said through clenched teeth. Your jaw snapping closed.

“Oh, yeah sure. Such a shame that you had to hear it from me though, that friendship could have blossomed into sooo much more,” He fiddled with his finger nail for two seconds. “Little Peter Parker isn’t actually so much, Little Peter Parker. He’s more of a, masked superhero who helps the little guys, you know? Gets bought churros, helping save that Staten Island Ferry a few years back. Wears a red and blue suit, maybe you’ve spotted him out and about somewhere, you know, kicking ass?” Tony straightened out his t-shirt as the cogs in your brain instantly got what he was saying. 

“But, he’s not- Spider-,”

“Oh, sweetie. But he is,” Tony frowned condescendingly. “And he didn’t tell you, did he? But wait! You told him about your powers, right?” Tony tapped his finger on his lip again. “Maybe you and Peter should have a long chat about lies and deception, hm?” 

“That’s enough, Tony. You’re being sent to your room.” Natasha spoke up, getting up from her seat at the table. You stood, emotionless, like a statue, as your heart broke in two behind the wall of your chest. You imagined it, just below the surface, past your ribs, suffocating itself with your own flesh and blood. Natasha approached you, but you snaked away from her hands, your eyes staying in the same spot on the wall opposite you. You wouldn’t blink, afraid that everything would burst. 

“Thank you for having me back. It was nice having a brief time with you all.” You muttered monotonously at the Avengers; they all stared at you, wanting to encase you in hug. If they weren’t staring at you, they were staring at Tony, seeing visions of what they were going to yell at him once you’d disappeared. 

The elevator dinged, and you stepped in. “I called you a car, (Y/N).”

“No need, thank you, Jarvis.” You breathed shallow breaths and swallowed, looking up to face the New York skyline just approaching sunset. “I think I’ll walk.” You shut your eyes and savoured the view, a flash of Spider-Man invaded your vision of the city. You shot your eyes open quickly and felt tears forming. “I heard it was going to rain this evening.” 

The elevator door shut, and you collapsed. 

-

You got the subway home, most of the way. Six blocks before your apartment, you stopped. Were you really going to do this? 

You clicked Peter’s key in the slot of the door and it opened. “Peter?” You shouted. No one answered. You picked up your phone, your hands shaking profusely. 

Peter picked up your call and answered in his usual enthused voice. “Hey! How’d the talk go, you on your way back?” You sniffed, and squished down the pain in your throat. 

“Yeah! Er- it went, as good as it could have gone, I suppose.” You added a laugh in so he wouldn’t worry. “Where are you- wanna get dinner, or something?” 

“I’m- at home. May’s still visiting her cousin in Brooklyn for a few days.”

“You’re- at home.” You repeated, your eyes welling with tears. You shot your hand up to cover your mouth. 

“Yeah. (Y/N)?” You tried to keep it contained, but you breathed in, and with that you had to breath out. The sobs emerged like thunder, and you almost dropped the phone from your hand. “(Y/N)? What’s-,”

“Are- are you Spider-Man, Peter?” Peter went silent on the other side of the line, and you collapsed further to the floor, Tony’s gruesome words echoing throughout your mind and burning your insides. After everything that you’d been through- Peter still hadn’t trusted you- didn’t trust you. After everything you’d shared, he still didn’t feel it was important to share the fact that he was two people- that he was sneaking out and tip toeing around you at all times to keep this private. 

He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust you. 

You hung up the phone, now wet with tears, and went to change back into your work clothes in his room. Switching on the light, you stopped. Spider-Man stood in the middle of Peter’s room, having just jumped through the newly opened window. You stared in distaste as he pulled the mask off, revealing Peter Parker standing in front of you, his cheeks blotched with red from running and jumping and doing whatever a Spider-Man did. 

His eyes full of lies, his mouth laced with deceit, his words all fake. Four years- “No secrets, OK?” It played over and over in your head, filling your bones with hatred for having thought you’d found the one person you could fully confide in, fully trust. 

That trust just got blown out of the open window in Peter’s room. 

He took the tiniest step forward, and you turned lightning fast back into the apartment, going just slow enough to grab your bag and jacket on the way out, dropping the spare key to the floor and slamming the door shut, not uttering a single word to the broken hero.

You made a vow to yourself then;  
You wouldn’t let anyone hurt you again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just want to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. the amount of comments i've been receiving today has made my day, my week, my month! i wanted to say thanks by giving another double upload - this chapter is kinda like an inbetween but idk, i kinda like it. things will (probably) slow down, update wise, after this. i have so many ideas so i've literally been writing all day like mad! your continued support has been a BLESSING and this fic is my most popular ever, despite it only being first thought about (and the first time being written) literally two days ago. pffffft. 
> 
> lets get this emotional rollercoaster of death moving, shall we?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket for the hundredth time that day, and you ignored it. Even if you weren't on shift you wouldn't have read it, anyway. You knew it would be Peter apologising again.

You tapped mundanely on your iPad, checking the appointments list. Your next one was in five, and you moved towards the front entrance of the shop, ready to greet which ever customer when they arrived and checked in.

You'd clock off after another two hours and then head back home- Debbie was back from the retreat and had promised pie. Lots of pie. You couldn't miss that; her pies were legendary. Your iPad dinged; the notification that your customer had checked in. You walked up to the meeting point. "Hi, Mr.-" you read the customers name and looked up. "Rogers."

Steve faced you, his eyes pleading with you to stay. You looked him up and down and tapped the "attended to" button on his appointment confirmation. "Welcome to the New York Apple Store, Sir. What can I help you with today?" You put on a smile and tried to forget who you were actually dealing with.

"I come in peace, I actually do need something from here," you nodded, keeping up your over enthusiastic smile and ignoring the rising temptation to slap Steve round his face. "Sam told me to come and see what an Apple Watch was,"

"Ahh, I see. Seems very up Wilson's alley." You guided Steve over to the table top that was home to the watches. His eyes lit up and his lips curved into a smile; he was like a kid in a candy store, without knowing what the candy actually was. Steve picked up one with a black strap and tried it on; it fit snugly on his wrist and he nodded, considering his options.

"So, ah-," Steve looked at the watch like it were a fine diamond. He touched the screen quickly and retracted his finger; the screen lit up with the time of day and temperature of the air outside and in. "What does it do?" You sighed, thanking the Lord a little for sending you Steve instead of some other boring customer- you'd much rather have a vague friend around you than a complete stranger. Besides, explaining things to Steve was always entertaining; he'd been stuck in time for so long; things had changed since his time.

You spent a good hour explaining all the components of the watch to Steve, which he wrote down in his small notebook, the pages filled with things like song recommendations, places to visit, foods to eat. "I think-," Steve swiped the screen upwards, opening the menu, before clicking the lock button. "I've got it." He looked at you and smiled wide, you smiled back. "I'll take it."

You boxed up the watch and gave it to Steve after he paid on card. Dropping your arms to your sides you huffed, but smiled at the Cap nonetheless; he did mean well; he wasn't the one who had argued with you. Steve looked at the clock; one hour till closing. The shop floor was practically empty, only you and one other colleague were working on appointments, and your 8 o'clock hadn't showed up, so you were practically done for the day. "Quiet night, then?" Steve said, glancing back at you. He sat down on a high stool and leaned on the table. You refrained from sighing; you knew he wasn't going to just leave without a chat.

"Seems that way." You looked around for your manager; he was sitting on a stool himself, scrolling on his phone. You scoffed, then sat down yourself. Steve met your eyes, a look resembling pity on his face. "Don't look at me like that, Steve."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm a wounded soldier that you want to save." You pursed your lips at him, resting your head on your upright arm, your hand squishing your left cheek.

"I don't think you're a wounded soldier," Steve fiddled with his new watch strap. "And I certainly don't think that you need saving, (Y/N)."

You looked to the side, your eyes starting to feel tired. You wouldn't cry, you'd cried too much over the last few weeks- you didn't want to collapse anymore. It was your decision to move to America, your decision alone; no one else had told you what to do. You'd achieved the scholarship to Midtown all by yourself; you were capable. If you'd got through that, you could get through this. Easily.

That's what you kept telling yourself; despite how much your chest wanted to cave in.

"What do you want, Steve?" The captain laughed softly, showing his perfect teeth.

"Well, I came for a few reasons," you perked up, and sat fully up, the same blunt expression on your face. "The first was the watch, which I got easily because you're a good employee." You playfully saluted at him. "Two, I came for a chat, a catch up with you. So, hey, how you doing?" You laughed at that, and the Captain laughed too. He'd been one of the Avengers that you knew you'd miss the most. "Three, I came to show you how having your face in the public eye is not always a big change." You furrowed your brow, as if to ask him what he meant.

"Look around you, (Y/N), have I been ambushed by the public since I got here?" You listened, and he was right. Since the time he'd got to the store he'd only been approached once by someone who asked if he was Captain America. He'd nodded, and the person had thanked him for all he'd done. "You're welcome, Ma'm." She'd left, a content look on her face. "Yes, being in the public eye can be hard, especially when you're in the Avengers-"

"People look at you like you're Gods, Steve."

"I know, and I mean, Thor is. We're not normal, and it's not arrogant for me to say that because it's true." You nodded, Steve's words seeping into you mind. "If you think being an Avenger is a normal thing, it's not. We don't just hire any civilian; we're here to help them, to save them."

"Being a coward isn't a good trait." You looked down and fiddled with your fingers.

"Don't believe that bullshit Tony said, OK?" You shot your head up at Steve's language, a laugh almost stumbling off your lips. "He was angry,"

You scoffed. "Yeah, I think everyone saw that he was angry, Cap."

"He was angry," Steve shut his eyes and continued on after you interrupted. "Because he can see how much potential you have." You swallowed. "He's not a monster- yes, his personality is sometimes not compatible with certain people at certain times- believe me, I know. He had no right to tell you about Peter." You shoved your face to the side at the mention of his name. Right on cue your phone buzzed on the table top. Steve's eyes flicked to the screen: iMessage from 'pp'; in brackets was the number of messages he'd sent- 107. "Don't let this kill your friendship, please." Steve whispered, and you stared at him, a sad frown transforming your face into the emotional mess that you were inside. You nodded, slowly, and Steve grabbed your hand in his.

"Oh, and the fourth thing," Cap's voice suddenly changed into something more serious and your face changed, too. "Banner has found out some information that you may want to know about. It regards your powers, and their origin." Your mouth dropped open slightly, your eyes widening. You could feel your heart beat accelerating every second the information seeped into your bloodstream.

With that Steve got up from his seat, you reciprocated. "Thank you." He nodded at you professionally. "It was, nice to see you again." You smiled at the Captain, and he pulled you into an impromptu hug, which you gladly accepted.

"Give Banner a call, or me, you have our details." You nodded and smiled again. Steve left the shop, the glass door sliding elegantly shut, and your heart feeling warmer for having seen him. You went back to your stool and clicked the "completed appointment" button next to Steve's name. Your manager came up behind you, his face tired.

"Was that Captain America?" You looked up at your manager; he was a nice guy, and two years older than yourself. You would even call him cute, with his sandy curls and slightly circular, tortoise shell glasses. His eyes were bright green.

"Yeah, he's a friend." You smiled at him, and he pursed his lips, impressed.

"Cool." He left and headed towards the Genius Bar. "(Y/N), go ahead and clock off, you've been working hard this past month." You looked round at him with thankful eyes, and he smiled brightly back at you.

-

"Debs!" You dropped your keys on the counter and heard a muffled "ahh" coming from the kitchen. In a matter of seconds, Debbie came rounding the corner, her arms flailing and her face full of ecstasy. Her long blonde hair whips around you as she encased you in a hug; it's been a while since you last saw her, and you hadn't realised how much you'd missed her.

"My working girl," she poked the Apple logo on your work uniform. You smiled at her, her brown eyes giving you a warm feeling. "Come on! I have pie," You got on your tip toes excitedly and leaped to the kitchen, where your jaw dropped.

"Debbie-" she'd made enough pies to cover the entirety of the kitchen. You burst out laughing at the sight, but went and stuck your finger in an already cut, warm slice of apple pie. You shut your eyes and reopened them, looking up to Heaven. "Dear God, I'm dead."

"They're all for the shop tomorrow- I couldn't be bothered to get up and make them at 3am," she flicked her hair behind her ear, her eyes gazing at you as you went in to the pie with a fork. She frowned, coming closer. "Hey," you looked up from the plate, licking the fork. "What's up?" She grabbed your face lovingly and rubbed under your eyes. You gently pushed her away.

"Nothing, nothing," you shrugged her off, but she didn't buy it.

"Don't 'nothing' me, I always know when you're lying. Your voice changes to a slight American accent." You smiled at her, and placed the fork down on the plate, jumping up onto the only counter top space that wasn't occupied by pies. "Come on, I wouldn't be a good foster mom if I didn't do this part." You smiled at her. For the past four years she'd been a better mum than your biological one back in England.

"Me and Peter had a fight." You looked Debs in the eye and her face turned thoughtful. She pulled you into a much needed hug and stroked your hair.

"Oh hunny, I'm sorry," you hugged her back, slotting your head in between her shoulder and neck. You got a strange sense of deja vu that made the breath catch in your throat. The embrace ended but Debs kept hold of your shoulders. "What happened? You know I've always liked Peter and his Aunt." She tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.

You huffed. "I don't know, miscommunication, emotions, blah," you rolled your eyes.

"Emotion, hm? He didn't tell you he likes you, did he?" Debs asked as if it were the most casual thing in the world.

"What? Why would he tell me that?" Your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your foster mum quizzically. All she did was smile slightly, a strange look appearing in her eyes. She left the kitchen and sat on the couch, grabbing a baking magazine. You jumped off the counter, curiosity digging into you. "Debbie, what's that look?"

"Nothing!" She squealed, her lips still curled into a smile that told you clearly she was hiding something. You stood there, your arms crossed, your fingers tapping against your arm. You popped your hip out so that Deb knew you weren't in the mood to be fucked around with. She flicked her eyes to your form and caved in. "Look, hunny. I just think you should call him. Talk it through. You and Peter are a power to be reckoned with when you're together, you can get past this." You listened intently to the seriousness in her voice, and you frowned. It had been almost three weeks. It had been the longest time you'd gone without seeing or talking to Peter since you met him.

"I'm gonna go take a thinking shower."

"You do that. You think!" Debbie yelled as you headed to your room, she added a final "You shower!" And you laughed. Her presence had been sorely missed in the apartment, especially with all that had been going on. Stripping off your work clothes, you turned on the water and got into the shower, the water immediately calming you.

You opened your eyes and double checked the door to the bathroom was locked, before flicking your hand and causing the water to fall in an intricate pattern before landing on your head. You drew artwork in the air with the particles- a tree, Cap's shield, the New York skyline, the Death Star. Then it hit you; all of these drawings, these patterns that you created with water; they meant something deep to you. You imagined a world where you didn't get to see New York City everyday, you imagined a world without Captain America in it; what a horrible world that would be. A world without the Death Star, however? That would mean a world where Peter and Ned never bonded over Star Wars.

And a world without that bond is a world you'd never want to wake up in.

Quickly, you washed your hair and drenched your body in shower gel, the smell of grapefruit filling the bathroom. You turned off the water and slipped out of the shower, frantically wrapping the towel around your torso and abandoning your clothes for now. You ran to your room, your feet patting on the wooden floor of the apartment. Debbie lifted her head from her magazine- "Did you think?"

"Shush I'm mid thought breakthrough!" Debbie chuckled to herself as you shut your door, an idea percolating and cementing itself simultaneously in your mind. You scratched at your wet hair with your towel and dropped onto your bed, pulling out your phone and heading to the contact for Bruce Banner. One-handed, you messaged the Avenger;

Dr. Banner,

Saw Steve at work today.  
I'm ready to talk. If you'll have me.

(Y/N)

-

"Dr. Banner is on the third main floor, (Y/N), where the personal rooms are."

"Thank you, Jarvis." You smiled at the ceiling stupidly. Your stomach performed somersaults as the elevator accelerated further up the tower. "So, how you been?"

"Oh, very well, thank you." You could almost sense Jarvis's smile as he spoke. You nodded, and silence filled the lift for another few seconds. "Though, if I'm being honest. Quite stressed."

You chuckled slightly. "Aren't we all?" The lift came to a stop and the doors slid open effortlessly. You exited into a room you didn't recognise, but it was equally as beautiful as the communal area downstairs. You clocked eyes with Banner, who was walking down the left-hand corridor towards you.

"Bruce," he reached you and pulled you into an embrace. You'd received a lot of hugs recently, not that you were complaining, though.

"It's amazing to see you. Again." He smiled, showing his kind eyes. Your stomach untwisted itself a bit, but the feeling of uncertainty and uneasiness still washed itself over your body.

"It's oddly nice to be back." You reciprocated the warm face that Banner had given you and headed further down the corridor with him. You passed a few rooms, some of the doors were closed and some were open, revealing the interiors for just a second. You caught a glance into one of the rooms and spotted a framed photo of Natasha, recognisable by her hair. There was a man stood next to her wielding a bow and arrow who you could only assume was Clint. You felt warm at the memory of first meeting them both. Bruce lead you to a room round the corner of the hall, and invited you in.

"Is this your room?" Your eyes widened at the blue prints that littered both the walls and floor of the Dr's room. Bruce rubbed his hands together, nodding in response, before fiddling with the pencils on his desk.

"Sorry, it's slightly- ah, unorganised." You turned towards him.

"It's wonderful. I'm sure genius engineers like you are allowed to not have a pristine room." Bruce chuckled, but his face changed suddenly.

"Ah, (Y/N), why don't you take a seat." He gestured to one of the two desk chairs, and you obliged. "So, your powers. I looked into other cases and found out a lot of information." Bruce tapped the desk and a blue floating projection appeared, mapping out the extent of his research in front of your very eyes. "I looked into your DNA, in he simplest terms," You looked from Bruce to the screen and back, trying to wrap your brain around all the information that was being shown to you.

"What's this?" You chimed in, pointing to a folder that said 'Other Subjects'. Bruce went silent, before turning to face you fully.

"We conducted research into your family tree after receiving your DNA- er," Bruce hesitated. You leant forward, closer to Banner. "(Y/N), we called your home, back in England, to try and get in touch with your father."

You tried to create words, but nothing happened, you simply stared at Banner with wide eyes as questions bombarded your brain.

"You mother informed us that, after you left, they divorced." Oh sure, so you left for America on your own not to hear from your family much over the next four years of your life, and you're getting told by Bruce Banner, a person you've met three times, that in fact your mother and father had split up less than a month after you'd arrived in Queens. What an everyday occurrence, hm? You refrained from saying anything, afraid about what would leave your mouth, afraid that it would be a scream. You knew your mother and father hadn't been perfect, but this was going above and beyond. All the times you called your mum, though it hadn't been often, she hadn't bothered to tell you that she was no longer the wife of your dad.

This was, something.  
And by something, it was shit,  
Astounding,  
Gut crushing.  
Your own family wasn't even your family anymore.

"I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you,"

"No. I think, it ended up nicer with you telling me. Funnily enough, I think I trust you more than my mum and dad right now." You gave Bruce a small smile as a way to tell him to continue. Bruce smiled back, and took in a breath.

"So your dad, your mum said, had moved out immediately after the divorce. His so-called job as an accountant was a lie, a complete lie." You couldn't believe what you were hearing, but then again, part of you expected this from your family. "Your father and you share similar DNA- DNA that contains a very ancient and powerful source of energy. This energy, I believe, is what caused you to be born with your ability."

You took in the information, amazed that you'd managed to both comprehend and believe what Banner was telling you. You'd learned to never expect things to turn out a certain way, anymore. It wasn't worth the disappointment when those expectations were broken. You breathed heavily in and out a few times, and it helped calm you down. "And my dad? Where is he?"

Bruce shoved his glasses further up his nose with his middle finger. "We tried to find him, but found nothing. He's gone, completely vanished."

"He's- dead?" You furrowed your eyebrows. Your heart beginning to lurch and the feeling in your stomach resembling the time you threw up in Peter's apartment. You felt the sweat grow on your forehead.

"I don't know. But I can say, I believe he is somewhere else. Off of Earth." Bruce took off his spectacles and placed them, folded, on the desk. He tapped it once more and the hologram disappeared, signalling that all the talking was done.

Your dad, an ancient being? What the fuck. You learn something new everyday, you thought. You stretched your palms, and a flutter of air circled around you before dissipating. Bruce looked at you in amazement.

"Well, then. That answered just about, everything." You chuckled unexpectedly, your heart fluttering fast but not in an anxious way, more in a way of relief about knowing more than you ever have about yourself before.

-

"Wait, wait, wait- you beat up Loki, here?" You sipped on your coffee, intently looking up at Banner as he retold some of the moments he'd had working as an Avenger.

"Yeah, and when I was done, know what I said?" You waited with such anticipation, your mouth agape. Bruce uncrossed his arms and leant forward. "'Puny God.'" He whispered and you clapped, reclining in your chair.

"Whooo, wee! Bruce, you're a badass." He smiled and clinked his mug with yours.

"Though I can't be certain, I don't remember what happens when I'm, the Other Guy. I was told that's what happened."

"Someone having a caffeine party? Without me?" The voice of Tony Stark flittered over you, sending a quick jolt down your spine. You turned to face him, your face blank. You weren't in the mood for another fight.

"Hey, Tony." Bruce said, quietly.

"Finished up with the kid, hm?" Bruce nodded. Tony glanced your way, some kind of unidentifiable look washed over him; you couldn't put your finger on it. "Er," he shoved his hands in his chino pockets and walked slowly towards you. "It's a lot to take in, I'm assuming."

You didn't move your gaze from him. "You'd assume right. But I can handle it." You found yourself smiling at him slightly. He smiled back, to your surprise.

"Well, if you can handle that, I suppose you could handle a party next week?" Your eyes lit up. Was he being serious? "Having a little thing for the group. Relax and recline. Got some things happening that deserve celebrations. I can send a car?"

You found it easy to indulge Tony, and found yourself smiling at him, nodding in agreement. "I'd be honoured, Tony." He smiled, bringing a hand to comb back his short hair.

"Great. Next Friday at 7pm, it'll pick you up on the curb." Tony took a step back, awkwardly deciding what to do next. He settled on a rather pathetic wave, before leaving the room.

You looked towards Banner, a smile spreading to the whole of your face. You rested your chin on your hands, content, as ideas of what to wear to the party circulated through your mind; a nice breather compared to the other shit that was going on up there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LETS GET THESE FUCKIN FEELS GOING. no joke I squealed when I wrote this, so get ready. the next chapter, though, is where things get seriousssss. and I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE MY UPLOAD DAY EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT, GMT. Probably around 9pm, depending on whether I need to tweak stuff or not. (spoilers, this party is supposed to mimic the one that happened in Age of Ultron - this is finally where timings get less complicated). this is the longest chapter yet, soz.
> 
> ENJOY DONT CRY

The breeze hit you unexpectedly as you left Stark Towers, toppling over slightly. You laughed, and secretly pushed your hand forward as a way of appreciating the air itself; it swirled gently around another passer-by, their face lighting up as the wind whipped their hair into a mini tornado. 

The journey home was refreshing, and as you passed shops and people the information that Banner had just told you was truly sinking in. For the first time since you’d met them, you felt you knew the Avengers properly. They weren’t perfect, they weren’t a group of some kind of Gods, living up in their cloud tower and controlling the world beneath; they simply kept it in check. They were good. They were human. 

You jumped on the subway and rode it all the way to the edge of Queens; your apartment was only a ten minute walk from the station, but since finding out about Peter you’d been avoiding going past his apartment altogether. You turned right instead of left, and headed to one street further down, so you’d miss the entrance to Peter’s block. 

A whip of air, and something dense flew by you in a flash; your heart stopped. Frantically you turned your body backwards, your eyes scanning the floor space and the sky space. Your gaze stopped on the corner of a rooftop. Sat, with his legs dangling off the rail, was Peter- Spider-Man? Peter? Gah. You had the largest urge to turn and run in the opposite direction, but you stayed put, your eyes never leaving the masked individual. You could imagine his blotchy red face underneath the mask, his deep breaths of anxiety, as he sat there, fully aware that you knew he was there, and who he really was.  
He slowly lifted a hand, and waved at you from down on the street. You looked down as embarrassment hit you directly in the face, your cheeks changing colour dramatically; the satellites could probably have picked you up. Same old Peter, you thought. You glanced up again at the hero, but he was gone. 

You laughed to yourself, a smile appearing on your lips; it made you think that things would get better. Made you hope. 

-

“I-I’m sorry, Sir but can your child not play with the devices like that! Thank you!” You cautiously went over to the iPhone 7 table and gently took a phone out of the four year olds hands. His shirt had a Spider-Man emblem on it, and your face literally lit up. You knew that if Peter was here he’d die of embarrassment. “Hey, buddy, you like Spider-Man?” You crouched down to the kid’s level and watched his face contort into the literal definition of happiness. He nodded quickly, his eyes seemingly full of admiration for the hero.

“Between you and me, he came here once,” You smirked playfully and the boy clapped, his dad standing behind his son and allowing you to continue. “He’d dropped his phone-,” you stopped and got ready to whisper. “Down the toilet!” The boy chuckled profusely, his head bobbing up and down. He turned to his dad, who picked him up ready to leave the store. 

“Thanks for that,” The dad spoke, his eyes gleamed. You smiled at him in response. The shop floor was booming, considering it was a Friday afternoon. Everyone came in in their lunch breaks, buying things to mess around with on the weekends, or trying to get something fixed for work again on Monday. Your manager was speaking with a beautiful woman, like really quite beautiful. Your jaw almost dropped open at how gorgeous she was, but you stopped yourself. 

Her long blonde hair swung elegantly down her back as she spoke with your boss, her blue eyes peering deep into his. She wore a simple black business dress and heels, and wielded a small briefcase. Suddenly, your manager pointed at you, and the lady stared at you full on, walking towards you. Furrowing your brows, you approached her. 

“Hi, can I help you?”

“Well, this is more about me helping you, actually.” The woman took in your face, her eyes scanning you all over. It didn’t seem invasive though. “My name is Pepper Potts, I’m CEO of Stark Industries.” Your eyes widened and your mouth opened in a half smile, half awestruck display.

“Tony’s girlfriend- it’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“You too, I was annoyed I didn’t get to meet you sooner, so I came here today, before the party!” She smiled, and it was one of those rare smiles that hit your very core. Her personality seemed the complete polar opposite to Tony’s; but it struck you that that was why they made a good couple; never run out of things to talk about. “Now,” she began, her hands flicking to her phone and sending out a text at lightning speed. “I’ve sent a dress round to your apartment for tonight, but don’t feel like you have to wear it- I simply saw it in the store today and thought that it would suit you.” You stood, dumbfounded at what Pepper was saying. It was official; your expectations of the Avengers left you completely, flying out of the window. You told yourself to never expect with them, and just go along with everything they did. 

“Wow- I- thank you, Miss Potts. That’s really kind of you.” You gazed at her as she suddenly brought her hand to one side of your face, her thumb stroking your cheek slightly. She bobbed her head to the side. 

“Such a pretty girl, you are,” You wondered what was on her mind to make her do this, but didn’t pull away. There was something about Pepper’s aura that mingled with every fibre of your body, making all her actions completely normal and easy to understand. She retracted her hand, and waved her fingers at you playfully. You waved at her as she left, your body beginning to tingle, like you had a genuinely nice experience of pins and needles coursing through your entire body. Your heart felt warm in your chest, and you went back to work, thinking about how Tony had been right in saying Pepper would latch onto you.

-

Debs was still working at the bakery when you got home that afternoon. You'd told her you were going to a party, but with one difference. "It's like a pre-graduation at Gwen Stacey's house."

"Will Peter be there?" Debs said slyly, stirring a bowl of whipped cream. You chewed one of her blueberry cookies to buy some time. 

"Ah- I don't actually know." You took another bite of the cookie. Debs turned towards you, still whisking. She raised an eyebrow.

"You're a young woman now so of course you can go, but be safe, please." 

"Always." You whispered, your mind focused on whether or not Peter would be at the Avengers party. 

You plopped yourself back on your bed and stared at your ceiling poster of the periodic table. The song rang through your head as you looked at the separate elements, but then you stopped and remembered Pepper. Running back to the kitchen, you noticed a package on the table by the front door, it had a sticky note on it which read "For (Y/N)." 

How did they even get it in the apartment? You scrubbed the thought, not wanting to know about how Stark Industries used to break things for a living. You ripped open the package excitedly and took it back to your room, laying out the dress fully on your bed. You gasped-

In front of you was a silk black dress with long sleeves and an elasticated off the shoulder neckline. It was floor length, and there was a slit in the side just high enough for it to be sexy. You could have died right there. 

Slipping on the dress carefully, you looked in your mirror. Who you saw in front of you was a different person; a person you'd never met before. The dress hugged your curvaceous body comfortably and you wondered how the hell Pepper had guessed your size just from photos. The off the shoulder neckline suited you far better than your Apple uniform, and exposed your clean collar bone and showed off your small choker-like necklace; a golden square, given to you by Peter and Aunt May as a "congrats on finishing your exams!" gift. 

The apartment door opened and Jason walked in, huffing as he placed his bag down, the door shutting behind him. Excitedly, you ran out of your room to greet him. 

"So!" You yelled, Jason turned his head towards you and soaked up your look, his eyes flittering over you. You stood in your doorway, hands on hips, hip popped out exposing your heels and the slight slit in the dress. You hadn't done anything with your hair and makeup yet but you still felt like a million dollars. Jason's mouth dropped open.

"My god," he rushed towards you and gave you a massive hug. You felt like you were going to Homecoming, but you hadn't gone, despite being asked out by a senior in your sophomore year. "You look beautiful," he smiled and tucked a stray hair behind your ear, and you hugged him back.

"Thank you." He headed to the kitchen to get started on dinner, and you went back to your room to start getting ready for the party.

-

"A car?" Debbie said, chewing on her chicken. 

"Yeah, I'm getting a lift there with the girls." You said, dabbing your finger over your lips slightly to even out your nude lipstick. You'd slightly curled your hair into natural looking waves and had finally got your makeup bag out from your bedside table for the first time in a few months. 

"The girls?" Jason piped up, repeating you.

"Yeah," you turned round, rolling your eyes slightly. "The girls." You let your voice extend on the 's' of girls. You hated having to lie to Debbie and Jason, but what else could you do? Scare them beyond belief? A car horn sounded from outside and you ran to hug your foster parents. "I'm staying over at Gwen's tonight so I'll see you tomorrow," you said, your voice muffled by Jason's shoulder. 

"Bye!" They shouted in unison as the door closed. You got the elevator down, not wanting to risk falling down the stairs in your shoes. 

"Hi Happy," you said at your driver, and you got in the front seat. 

"Do you not want to sit in the comfy back?" He said, his sunglasses donned despite it being 7pm at night, his face the same blank expression as when you'd last seen him

"No, I'd much rather sit up front with you," you smiled, and saw Happy turn his head to the side, changing the gear to drive. You could have sworn you saw him smile. 

When you arrived at Stark Towers twenty minutes had passed, and your nerves were on fire. You were about to be surrounded by the Avengers, and other important people; this was a big deal. You peeked at yourself in the mirror of the car and checked everything, your face beginning to feel hot beneath the makeup you were wearing.

"(Y/N), you look amazing," Happy said, eyeing up your now freaking out form. "You have nothing to worry about," he spoke softly, and you pushed the mirror back up. "But don't fuck up!" You found yourself laughing, feeling a bit better about entering the party on your own. Pepper had picked a beautiful dress, and as you walked to the elevator and dinged it shut, you felt like you could take on anything.

Jarvis played some typical elevator music, and you smiled to yourself.

You were met by the sight of fifty of so men and women, all wearing clothing like you. Jazz music played in the background of the party and groups of people stood, drinking cocktails and mingling with one another. You took a deep breath in to stop your shaking, and headed for the room straight ahead.

It felt like you were walking in slow motion as you entered, your legs seeming to know how to walk, finally. You strolled confidently past the first group of people, one of which you recognised as Rhodey. You passed Steve, and caught his eye. He looked you up and down, his head following you as you walked towards the bar. You smiled at him and nodded kindly. You approached the bar where Banner was stood; Nat was behind it, mixing some drinks.

"They couldn't afford a bar tender?" You said jokingly. Banner turned to you and shook your hand. Nat raised her eyebrows at you, eyeing up your dress.

"Black looks great on you, that's an assassin trait." She winked. 

"I may be assassin material, Nat, but I don't think I'm that cut out to be one." Nat shrugged as if to say 'worth a shot'. She was obviously joking, though.

"Want a drink, hot shot?" Bruce asked, leaning against the bar. You sat on a stool, smiling playfully.

"I'm British, Bruce. I've been drinking since I was thirteen." Nat took that as a yes and went about making you some kind of red cocktail. Her eyes flicked over to Banner, and he looked at her, tracing the outlines of her face. As you sipped your drink, you secretly kept your eyes placed on the two of them as they had their silent encounter. Nat slid Bruce his drink seductively, and he looked down, a small smile on his lips. Nat made her way round from the bar and trailed her hands down your arm, making you shiver slightly. 

“Nice dress, you look better than everyone here,” You smiled smugly at her as she strolled away, her hips moving from side to side. You noticed Banner, his eyes followed Nat’s body as she strode across the room. You looked up to the ceiling as your cheeks went red; I think I just witnessed a forbidden love, you thought. You got up after your redness subsided slightly, and found yourself heading in the direction of Steve and his group. 

You approached them, and they all turned, raising their glasses in unison. Sam whistled at you, his eyes taking you in. “Damn, (L/N). I wanna bet you didn’t choose that yourself.” You scrunched your face up, offended. 

“Why, you don’t think I have style?” You took a gulp from your drink, feeling the liquid coil down your throat. 

“Last time I saw you, you were wearing pyjamas.” Wilson furrowed his brows, looking at you jokingly. 

“OK, point taken.” The group chuckled together, and Tony came strolling along, his hands in his chinos and a hipflask in his shirt pocket. 

“I see you’ve arrived, trust Happy got you here fine?” You nodded at him, you were warming to him again, after the conversation you had with Steve. “And I see,” Tony gestured to your outfit. “That Pepper got to you in some way.” You laughed, remembering your encounter with Miss Potts. 

“Where is she, anyway?” Tony’s faced dropped. Your question was immediately answered.

After some more small talk, you had a pace around the room by yourself, taking in your surroundings fully. You found yourself wandering down corridor after corridor, spying into labs and other rooms that contained files or books; spying, that was, not actually prying. All the doors were sealed tightly. 

You made your way back to the main living area, noticing that the party had died down a whole lot. How long had you been gone? The Avengers remained, and a few of their close friends. You approached Steve, who was talking to a person you vaguely recognised. You assumed the worst. “(Y/N),” He greeted you, giving you his hand. You took it in yours, the unknown associate turning to face you. 

Peter smiled, his face going a bright shade of red; his eyes pleading with you the way Steve’s had at work, but tenfold. “Hey,” You took in a breath, your face falling slightly, but your body wailing inside as you looked at your best friend properly for the first time in a month. 

“Hi,” was all you could muster at that moment in time, your face mimicking his and Steve’s hand still present in yours. You squeezed it tighter momentarily, coming back into the room. “I was meaning to ask you,” You turned to Steve, you had his full attention. “What this party was celebrating. Tony said something had happened.” 

“Ah, that would have been our recent mission.” He came in closer to you so that your faces were almost touching. Peter suddenly changed, taking a step forward as well, as if he were paranoid about not hearing everything that you presumed he already knew. “Loki’s spear is back in our possession.” Your eyes gleamed, taking in his words. 

Loki wasn’t someone to be messed with, but he was gone, surely? 

“Wow.” You said, finally, glancing at Steve and then at Peter, just for a second.

“Stark felt a party would boost morale. It’s a little different from the parties in my day, though.”

“You sound like my grandfather,” Peter chuckled, and Steve scoffed uncomfortably. 

“That’s because your grandfather and I are probably around the same age.” He swirled his drink, the conversation coming to a brief silence after the comment. “I’m gonna go and talk to Barton, excuse me.” Steve left, and you fought the urge to grab hold of his arm and go with him. You swallowed, sensing Peter’s stare on your neck. It was time to face the theoretical music. Turning back, you went to speak first.

“(Y/N), please-,”

“You don’t need to apologise again, Peter. I already got all of your messages, OK?” You tapped your drink, the rage winding itself slowly through your blood. 

“You’re right. So just let me explain,” You huffed, crossing your arms uncomfortably. You looked at your best friend, his eyes threatening to boil over at any second. Despite the lies, you hated seeing him in pain. When you didn’t reply, he assumed that meant continue. “Shall we go somewhere more private?” He suggested, and you followed him out onto the balcony. 

The two of you stood, watching New York blaze below. It was beautiful, and you were struck with a memory. It was Peter’s seventeenth birthday, and he’d had a small get together with some close friends. In the midst of it, you’d decided to climb the fire escape to the roof, wanting to see the moon loom over Queens. It only took a minute for Peter to realise you were gone and come after you. He sat next to you on the roof, a beer in his hand. You took a gulp of your own, and the two of you sat against the top apartments chimney, watching the world go by below you. In the distance, the Empire State Building was lit up like a Christmas Tree; it all seemed too perfect. 

That was the first time you’d ever had thoughts about kissing Peter. Did you even like him? Well, sure, he was your best friend, you had to like him. Your heart began beating fast in your chest for no reason, your very core felt like it was shivering. But it was a nice feeling, a feeling of warmth radiating from Peter’s body to yours and back again. He grabbed your hand in his, and the breath got hitched in your throat. You turned to face him and thanked the Lord that it was dark enough for him not to see the colour that was rapidly spreading to your face. His brown eyes caught the light, and you saw them flicker around your face, landing on your lips for the tiniest second. Your pulse elevated like a hummingbird’s, and you began to panic. You’d kissed people before, yes, but this seemed different somehow. Like it had the potential to go very wrong.

You shot up as soon as you saw Peter’s face inching slightly closer to yours. He was drunk, it was his birthday. “Come on, you drunkard,” you laughed quickly, Peter standing up as fast as he could without falling over on the gravel of the roof. 

“Funny, but I’m not drunk,” He followed you back down the fire escape, close enough behind you to feel his body warmth. You shivered once more, your heart dropping in your body. 

“Sure,” You muttered, cementing that he actually was drunk to yourself; it helped erase the fact that you both had almost kissed from your mind. You slithered back in through the living room window, but left for the bathroom before Peter, or anyone, could witness your face or hear your pulse. 

Until now, you’d only resurfaced those feelings from that night a few times, but had since tried to press them firmly down towards the floor so you could squash them with your shoe. The whole cliché of best friends turned couple made you want to vomit. Perhaps if you’d met Peter when you were twelve you would have had a boyfriend at thirteen; young and dumb and that whole shebang. But you wouldn’t allow yourself to say anything to Peter when you knew his feelings weren’t reciprocated. 

You were vulnerable, of course you would imprint yourself onto the one person who had been there from the beginning in Queens; it was natural to feel that way, in some ways, but now it wasn’t. You’d been passing off that thought of kissing Peter as circumstantial; sat on a roof at midnight, drinking, looking out over a skyline; your body had simply thought that that was the kind of situation that was supposed to play out; it wasn’t because of anything else.

It wasn’t. 

You shook the memory from your head and went back to the now. The wind whistled through the sky, circling the tower. You and Peter stood, your backs to the light radiating from inside. “I didn’t want you to worry. Not with everything on your plate.” He said simply, his arms leaning on the railing. You looked at his hands. “I never meant to hurt you by not saying anything-,”

“You knew that I didn’t know, even when Tony first approached me.” You whispered. He bowed his head. “You let me go to their base, knowing that Tony would probably mention you- and you didn’t fucking tell me you were one of them.”

“I’m sorry-,”

“You made me look like a fool. You broke my heart, Peter-,” you sucked in a breath, trying to inhale the words that just left your mouth, the tears beginning to well in your eyes. You wiped them away frantically. 

“I never meant-,” his voice broke, and you heard the subtle tap of tears falling on the metal railing of the building. You turned back, not being able to bare looking at him cry in front of you. You placed your hand on his, but he moved his body and collided it with yours, your limbs encasing one another tightly. 

“I know you didn’t mean to.” You stroked his head, his body shaking underneath your dress. You breathed him in, you’d missed him more than you’d allowed yourself to realise, and the relief set in that after this it would all be over; you could be with him again. You removed yourself from his grip and grabbed his face, using your thumbs to wipe away his tears. You smiled at him lovingly, knowing that his intentions were always meant to be good; Peter’s intentions were never meant to cause damage, but sometimes things went wrong. 

You loved him, you really did. And instead of your stomach dropping like it had a little over a year ago, you embraced the feeling. Drying up the last of his tears, you both locked eyes, and he looked at you like you were the best thing the world had ever given him. 

He looked at you like he loved you. 

Without thinking, about anything, Peter inched his face closer to yours and finally, the barrier was gone. As his lips pressed against yours your body was hit with a feeling so strange, yet it felt like it had been a long time coming, like both of you had been sitting on it, trying to push it back into its box. You inhaled him, gliding your hand to grip the back of his neck. He wrapped his arm around your waist, the other pressed against one of your cheeks. He tasted sweet, and you felt at ease;

You felt at home. 

The moment ended, and as you parted from him you looked at the soft lips that had been flushed against yours two seconds ago. You breathed, in and out, your eyes searching his for any sign that either of you had made a mistake. You hadn’t. This had been a long time coming, a really long time. You laughed, and kept your grip on Peter, your best friend, the closest person to you, ever. He breathed a sigh of relief, and flicked his head in the direction of the party, asking if you wanted to go back in. You nodded, the smile still present on your face; if it were up to you, you’d have kept that smile for the rest of your life.

Hand in hand, you and Peter strolled back into the party, the definition of ‘no hard feelings’ having been thrown off the towers balcony, along with the bars that had covered your once hidden feelings for each other.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! so just an update: at the moment I'm on summer holiday and have a lot of spare time to write, so considering I'm like three chapters ahead already in my writing, I felt like maybe upping the updates to twice a week, just until summer is over or I start to be pushed for time!!
> 
> also wanted to use these notes to talk about MUSIC and how without certain songs I wouldn't have been able to power through so much in such a short space of time. this is the link to my writing playlist, which I update all the time: https://open.spotify.com/user/bethgoodwinnn/playlist/3fZc84Lt87YsXBHXh7S4VL
> 
> alongside that playlist, I've also been listening to la la land and the soundtrack to Baby Driver religiously for about a month, they're both inspiring scores!! 
> 
> anyway, enjoy!!

Happiness can slink its way into your life in an instant; but quite often it can also erase itself from a situation just as quickly as it appeared.  
The Avengers sat in a circle, chatting away as the early morning buzz of the city went on below them. Thor had set his hammer, Mjölnir, on the coffee table in the centre. You noticed Clint staring at it intently, a beer in his hand. 

“All this, it’s fake, right?” He chimed in and Thor raised an amused eyebrow at him. “’He who shalleth be chosen hath been given the strength to haveth the power’, whatever man,” Clint laughed, pointing at the hammer. “It’s a trick.” 

“Ha, you make me laugh. If you don’t believe me, be my guest.” Thor gestured at his hammer and Clint’s eyes lit up. The archer got onto his feet as you found yourself a seat next to Nat, Peter stood with his arms crossed behind the sofa, thoroughly entertained by what was unfurling around him. 

“Clint, you’ve had a tough week. We won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up,” Tony announced, and the archer raised his eyebrows, getting ready to at least try to make him eat his words. 

Clint grabbed the hammers hilt and took a deep breath; his arm tensed, you could see the veins popping from his muscles and his face took on more colour as he tried to lift Mjölnir from the table. He released, his eyes flittering over to the God, who sat with his arms stretched out over the back of the sofa. He let out a sigh, “God, how’d you do it?” 

“Can you smell the silent judgement?” Stark said, and Clint lifted his hand to him.

“By all means, Stark, have a go,” Tony got up and seductively popped open the button on his blazer. Everyone oooed. 

“I’m not one to shrink from an honest challenge,” With one arm he grabbed the hilt, a scotch in his other. “It’s physics. So, ah,” He glanced at Thor, wrapping the hilt strap round his wrist. “If I lift this then I rule Asgard?”

“Yes, of course,” Thor said, matter-of-factly. 

Commence the most cringe-worthy half hour of your life, made possible by the Avengers; Earths Mightiest Heroes; trying to pick up an ancient hammer. Your friends. Tony left after failing on his first attempt, and returned with his Iron Man hand, taking another try at the hammer. The thrusters on his suit didn’t move it a muscle. 

Tony and Rhodey tried together, each using the thrusters from their suits. “Are you even pulling-,” “Are you on my team?” “Just represent- pull!”

Next, Banner tried, using his strength to hoist himself onto the table and pull as hard as he could, before yelling loudly and pretending to change into the Hulk. Everyone stared at him as he stood, awkwardly, at the front. “No?” Banner added. 

“Stick to smart stuff, Bruce,” you said, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he passed you, going back to his seat. He shoved his hands in your face and ruffled up your hair as you playfully tried to push him off. 

Cap stepped up to the challenge, and Thor’s smile continued to become more amused. He pulled up his sleeves, exposing his rather large arms. “Whoop whoop! Strip!” You shouted at the Captain, his eyes looking at you playfully and the team chuckling. He grabbed the hammer, taking in a breath, and he pulled; the hammer moved the tiniest bit, before staying still as Steve continued to pull. Thor’s face dropped momentarily, but he resumed his smile after the Captain let go, his face falling into relieved laughter. “Haha, nothing,” He took a slightly shaky sip of his drink. 

“Guess you just weren’t worthy, Steve, what a shame,” You said, taking another sip of your beer and trying not to scoff into your glass. 

“It’s harder than it looks, why don’t you have a try if you’re so amused?” An excited jolt went through you, and you looked from the hammer and then to Thor excitedly. He nodded at you, and you jumped up smoothly, having ditched your heels on the floor. You mimed spitting on your hands as you headed to the hammers hilt, grabbing it firmly with both hands. 

“Come on, (Y/N), do it for the young’uns,” Peter shouted and Tony scoffed.

“Mjölnir is loving all of this attention. I can sense that its excited,” Thor chuckled and drank his ancient liquor, and you turned towards him, your face contorting into a questioning look. 

“You may be a God, but you’re so weird,” You said, and gained a small laugh from all of the people around you. You set your attention back to the hammer and took in a few breaths, knowing that it wasn’t going to budge at all. You readied yourself for the inevitable, and tightened your grip on the hilt; with all of your strength, you pulled at the hammer.

“Someone’s been doing cardio,” Tony added, a smirk on his face. 

It didn’t move at all, it’s full weight becoming apparent to you the more you pulled. It seemed to gain more weight the more you tried to pick it up, and your arms began to tire out very quickly. You kept trying, though, and placed one of your legs up onto the side of the table, the dress falling over your thigh, exposing your bare leg. 

“Whoop whoop! Strip!” Nat chanted, your face scrunching itself up more as you kept trying. You could sense Thor’s grin as he sat behind you, and after one last attempt, you relaxed your body, breathing in and out. You looked at all of the Avengers around you, knowing fully well that you were probably sweaty and a bit red. You looked at Barton and nodded. “Yeah, it’s glued to the table,” Everyone laughed their asses off as you made your way back to the sofa, your space having been taken by Peter. He went to stand up, but you simply sat down on him, resting your body against Nat in the process. That gained you a few glances from around the room; the team knowing that you and Peter had made up. He shuffled himself into a comfortable position for both of you, and you fell in between his legs, laughing a little. 

Bruce gestured to Nat, and the other guys looked at her expectantly too. “Widow?” Banner said. Nat looked around the room.

“Oh, no no, that’s not a question I need answered.” She lay back on the couch and brought her beer to her lips. 

“Well, it’s simple isn’t it,” Thor chimed in, walking towards his hammer and picking it up like it weighed nothing. “You’re all just not worthy.” 

Suddenly, the room filled with a high-pitched noise that smacked its way through your ear drums. You brought your hands to your ears, trying to drown out the noise that rattled your insides. Tony grabbed his tablet from his pocket and looked around like a Meer cat to try and find the source of the racket. 

The clunk of metal on granite sounded from behind you all, and you jumped up off of Peter as you saw what was in front of you- a half made robot that resembled the Iron Man suit, oil spurting from all angles as it limped closer to the Avengers, eerily reminding you of some kind of zombie. 

“No...” It spoke, and its voice was rough, but soft. It almost sounded human. Tony edged closer, the cogs in his brain moving at a lightning pace as he tried to piece together this puzzle. “How could you be worthy? You’re all killers.”

“Stark.” One word from Steve, as his chiselled face stared at the robot without blinking.

“Jarvis- reboot.” Tony said, playing around on the tablet but getting nowhere. 

“I’m sorry, I was asleep...” The robot moved around slowly, its form sending you a revolting shiver. “Or, I was a dream- had to kill the other guy, he was a good guy-,”

“You killed someone?” Bruce asked, his face full of concern. 

“Not my first call... but down in the real world you have to make choices,” The robot looked around the room slowly, as if it were drunk. 

“Who sent you?” Thor asked, his face as cold as steel. The robot played a recorded voice over the sound system of Stark Towers, filling the room with the all too recognisable sound of Tony Stark- “I see a suit of armour around the world.”

“Ultron-,” Bruce muttered, his eyes flicking over to Tony. You took a step back from the robot realising that you were the closest to it. Your foot whacked the floor just for a second.

“In the flesh,” The robot stopped and the Avengers took in what was actually in front of them. Your mind reeled by found nothing. Who- what, was this thing? This Ultron? “You... and him, though,” You stopped, the fear coursing through your body threatening to shut you down completely. It addressed you, its eyes beaming blue into your soul. It gestured to someone behind you, and you guessed it was Peter. “You’re not with them- you haven’t sucked the life out of someone with your bare hands.” You gulped, closing your throat as your stomach tried to throw itself up. “Guilty by association- what a tragedy.”

“What are you here for?” Steve said, his arms moving to his sides as his hands balled into fists.

“I’m on a mission,” It, Ultron, said plainly.

“What mission?” Nat asked. A close friend of the Avengers clicked the safety off her gun; Thor slowly picked up his hammer from the couch, and Steve moved his stance into a defensive form. 

“Peace in our time.”

Before you could take in the words the glass behind Ultron smashed to pieces, hitting you all over as Stark’s robots bombarded their way towards you and the Avengers; they were ready to kill. You threw yourself to the floor despite the shards of glass and watched as Steve kicked a table upwards to defend himself, making a robot crash into it and collide with the hero in mid-air, throwing Steve backwards over the small balcony you were all on. 

Thor threw his hammer, shooting one straight through the window of Stark Towers and down to the street below. As you lay on the ground, your body ached all over, but you couldn’t just sit here and watch, you couldn’t chew the popcorn as the Avengers fought for their lives. Stealthily, you jumped back up onto your feet and spotted Barton and Rhodes as they jumped and slid down the smooth side of the balcony, readying themselves for the fight.

Ultron stayed stood where he had been before, and you clenched your jaw shut tight, noticing that the oil within his frame contained water, and without a second thought your abilities had Ultron locked. Sensing the innards of the robot, you clawed through his skeleton, your hands twisting and your body moving as you controlled the oil to eat away at the more important part of Ultron’s already damaged mechanism. With every movement, the robot was breaking up more, the cracking and chalk-board scratching noises penetrating throughout the room, making some of the Avengers catch their breath for just a second as they watched you going at the inhumane metal man relentlessly. 

You summoned fire from downstairs in the fireplace, and with the swipe of your arm the robot was on fire, the boiling hot oil melting through the rest of the suit exterior and your fingers tensing into a claw as you willed the water in the substance to bubble more intensely, wanting to leave nothing but dust on the ground when you were through. 

Too focused on Ultron himself and his smart talking as you worked on destroying him, you had no time to defend yourself against another one of Stark’s compromised robots as it shot at you, a burning sensation ripping through you right arm and causing you to stagger back, the pain spreading all across your body. You screamed, and clutched your arm tightly as you fell to the floor, feeling the blood as it cascaded down your arm and landed in droplets on the floor. You felt yourself on the verge of blacking out, when you noticed that the eyes of Ultron were still glowing; it was still alive. 

You turned your head and saw the final action of Cap’s shield destroying the last of the robots, but then turned back towards their leader.

“That was dramatic,” It chuckled slimily, and all you wanted to do was kill it with your bare hands. “I’m sorry, I know you all mean well. You just didn’t think it through. You protect the world but you don’t want it to change- how is humanity saved if it’s not allowed to, evolve?” Ultron walked slowly to one of the destroyed robots, picking it up by its head and crushing it in one squeeze. “These- these puppets. There’s only one path to peace... 

“The Avengers extinction.” You grunted as you willed your body to move, despite the pain you were in. You stood up, and your dress was ripped from the knees down from the glass fragments. You let go of your arm and the pain came back tenfold, but you didn’t falter. You tucked your hair behind your ear as you got Ultron’s attention immediately, the room having gone silent.

“No,” you spoke simply, looking the creature in its cold eyes. 

“No?” Ultron chuckled once more, condescendingly. 

“It's creatures like you that need to be eradicated,” Ultron let out one more chuckle, and lunged at you like lightning. “Thor!” You yelled, your body ceasing to move, and in the blink of an eye Ultron was smashed back by Mjölnir against the wall, its body broken into five pieces and shrapnel covering the floor. The eyes still gleamed briefly, and Ultron’s smooth voice let out the ugliest of songs- “I had strings, but now I’m free...”

The lights in the robot dimmed, until nothing was left but dust and the sound of rusting metal. 

Your arm was numb as you turned around to face the Avengers, not even noticing that your face was drenched with tears. You looked towards Clint and he gave you a concerned smile. “Ha- I got shot.” You croaked out, everything seeming to fall upon you at once. Your shoulders slumped and you let out a sob. Peter scooped you up in his grip, his body shaking with concern, and lead you to the tower infirmary with Banner. The scared faces of the Avengers were etched in your mind; they didn’t give you any relief. 

As you sat on a table in the infirmary, Bruce inspected your arm, his glasses donned. In the room next-door you could hear the others discussing what had just gone down. “What is Ultron, Bruce?” You uttered, the doctor’s arms wrapping your newly stitched up wound with gauze. 

“He was supposed to make the world a safer place.” Bruce whispered, tying off the bandage. 

“That didn’t really work out, did it.” You knew you were stating the obvious, but Bruce didn’t get mad at you.

“No, I suppose it didn’t.” He helped you off the table and the two of you walked next door. Thor had Tony’s necked gripped in one of his hands; Iron Man hung a meter off of the floor as all the others tried to calm down the God.

“Whoa, whoa! Thor! Stop-,” You boomed, and he dropped Stark with a thud. 

“Be cautious, (Y/N), you don’t know what we’re up against.” 

“You don’t either, Thor. We’re in the same position as each other, and the only way we’re going to find out more is if we listen to this damn bastard.” You yelled at him, swallowing back your anger. Your arm throbbed and you huffed. “Tony,” You said, rubbing your temples.

“The matrix of what was in the spear- it fascinated me, alright? Compared to Jarvis, it was as if it were- living-,”

“So, you thought it would be a brilliant plan to play Doctor Frankenstein.” Nat chimed in, folding her arms and leaning against a lab table.

“’I see a suit of armour around the world’,” You said out loud, your brain thinking and understanding what Tony was trying to succeed in doing. “You tried to create a defence strategy- something to help the Avengers in the long run and ensure peace.” Tony nodded. Steve stepped up to the plate.

“But he knew too much.” 

“Too much knowledge can make you lethal.” Clint added in a small whisper. 

“Where is Ultron now?” You asked, your eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“He escaped through the internet; he could be anywhere, but I’d suspect he’s found some of my old inventions.” Tony clicked his tongue, looking down at the floor. There was nothing we could do, at least not straight away. Ultron was out there and you knew his intentions; global extinction. 

“What’s the plan?” Sam muttered through tight teeth. You could tell he was seething at what Tony had done. 

“Before we get started on burning the midnight oil, can I please get my bearings.” Tony mimicked you in rubbing his temples, and you took this as a good time to leave them to it, you’d be in the way otherwise. You took two steps towards the door when Steve reached out and grabbed your arm gently.

“You alright?” You stayed still, glancing at him.

“I’m fine, I was going to leave you all to it.” You managed a smile, despite the throbbing in your arm getting worse. Steve took that as a signal to let you go, but he didn’t stop there.

“Let me lead you out,” He said, and you let him, slinking your arm through his as you left the lab quietly; you sensed Peter following behind. Steve took you to the kitchen and got you two Advil and a glass of water, which you accepted while sitting on one of the high chairs by the bar. Peter pulled up the seat next to you; you could hear his breathing and it calmed you. “I’m sorry about what happened,”

“Don’t be. You all had a job to do and you did it.” You swallowed the pills and downed the water. Your eyes itched from tiredness and shock. 

“You didn’t have a job to do, yet you still put yourself in danger for the good of the team.” Peter added, and Steve nodded. “What you did bought us enough time to take them all down while not having to worry about Ultron. Without you, there would have been more casualties.” Peter turned to you and smiled, his thanks seeping through into your soul, but also his fear about you being shot becoming apparent. 

“You deserve to know everything about the situation and I hope you understand we’ll very much keep you in the loop, (Y/N). You too, Peter.” Steve spoke up. Your best friend nodded, and you snaked your hand under the bar to try and find his. You found it as soon as your hand grazed over Peter’s knee. 

“Thank you, Cap. But don’t feel like you need to take time out of your duty to make sure we’re OK.”

“Ultron has information on both of you- and as you saw, he’s not like Jarvis. His AI mechanism is so much more advanced that he’s almost human,” Peter squeezed your hand in his. “As soon as we figure this all out, I’ll give you guys a call and tell you everything.” Why did Cap feel so strongly about keeping both you and Peter in the loop? If it were Tony, he wouldn’t be concerned about you knowing, he’d be concerned about getting it sorted; Cap had his mind set on both. 

Steve was trying to tell you that Ultron could get to you, easily, if he wanted to.  
Nowhere was safe anymore. 

“I’ll have a car drive you both home,” Tony came fast walking out of the lab, followed by everyone but Sam and the other lady colleague, who now computed in your mind as Maria Hill; an old agent for S.H.I.E.L.D before it fell. Stark clicked on the coffee machine and finished up a text; you assumed he was messaging Happy. 

“Tony, I don’t mean to add things onto your plate, but how am I going to hide a gunshot wound from my foster parents?” You glared at the frantic Tony Stark as he poured himself a large mug of coffee and took a swig. “Shit- graduation is in two weeks.” You widened your eyes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-,” 

“I almost forgot about that.” Peter chimed in, the look on his face showing he was afraid. He was afraid of the fact a lethal AI system knew who both of you were, and you were shitting yourself about having a gunshot wound at graduation. What the fuck is wrong with you? You thought. You mentally slapped yourself, and then your heart dropped. 

Now everything was sinking in.  
You’d been shot by a robot being controlled by a murderous AI with a God complex.  
That AI wanted you, and the world, gone.  
You fought the urge to be sick.

“I suppose, it’s time Debbie and Jason found out.” You whispered, and Peter looked at you with wide eyes.

“If you tell them about yourself, I’ll tell them about me.” You could have scoffed; so now he was prepared to tell the whole world about himself, why hadn’t he told you earlier? God. 

“Don’t be stupid, they’d make sure we never saw each other ever again,” You smiled and imagined Jason being an overprotective dad. 

Dad. Foster Dad. That’s what you meant. 

“Aunt May knows about me.” Peter spoke, quietly. The whole room fell silent as your insides fought against the rage bubbling below the surface. Both Ned and Aunt May knew. And you hadn’t. What. The. Fuck. 

“You know what, I don’t even have the energy to be mad at you anymore,” You spoke, and got up from your stool, heading to the elevator to go and meet Happy. 

“I’m sorry!” Peter shouted, grabbing his blazer from the kitchen island and picking up your phone that you’d left behind. You waved your hand at him as you tried to shrug the anger off yourself. You knew now, you thought. You knew now. Better late than never. The Avengers looked around awkwardly, but it was clear to see the mood had been somewhat lightened by the comedy duo-ness of you and Peter. He jogged over to the elevator and gave you a quick peck on the cheek; you were left half surprised, half content. You smiled at the floor for a second, before waving goodbye to the Avengers; the New York City skyline appearing cracked in the newly destroyed windows of Stark Towers as the elevator doors shut.

There was no elevator music, only silence.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone - so today I hit 1k hits!!!!! wtf!!!! this is honestly amazing to me, I've been writing this for a week and already have this many people reading it? mental!!! I'm honestly astounded by the amount of love and support I've received on this, and its my first ever y/n fic as well! you all have my constant thanks and appreciation for your continued support, kudos and comments (I freaking love getting comments, it makes my god damn day!)
> 
> this chapter is up two days early because of hitting 1k, so its a treat for you guys! it's also the longest chapter yet, so enjoy that aspect of it lol.
> 
> ENJOY and don't hesitate to give me feedback or criticism of any kind!!

“Did May help pick this number out?” You asked, comically gesturing up and down at Peter. The two of you were dropped to the nearest Subway station to your apartment by a disgruntled Happy, after both of you fought hard with him. It was around 3AM, and you and Peter were walking slowly through the streets of your neighbourhood. 

“Yeah, she may have helped just a little bit,” He looked down, his hands in his pockets, his blazer wrapped around your shoulders, covering your arm. It had stopped hurting now, Bruce must have injected some kind of mass pain reliever after putting in the stitches. “She even tried to teach me how to dance again, the same thing she did for Homecoming.” 

“No way, hah,” You looked up as you strolled along, the apartment buildings floating by. You thought back to when Todd had asked to go to Homecoming with you. It was only a few months before that Peter had let it slip you liked him, so why did you say no? You glanced at Peter walking next to you. You had the chance to go with a senior, a senior you liked. Yet you declined. Why? 

Peter had gone with a girl called Liz; she was a senior too, and head of the academic decathlon team. She moved to Oregon after her graduation though, it was a shame. You knew how much Peter had liked Liz; so did Ned. It was obvious, really, with the amount of staring he gave her on a daily basis and the way his whole body tensed whenever she was near him. You imagined them dancing at Homecoming, you imagined Peter’s hands wrapped around her as they swayed back and forth to some slow song. That’s when you realised; you hadn’t gone to Homecoming-

Because you didn’t want to see him with someone else. 

You reached your apartment, Peter having walked you back. He handed you your heels, an amused look on his face as he thought back to you stubbornly walking with bare feet for a good ten blocks. You slipped off his jacket, huffing cheerily. His eyes gazed over you as if you were a piece of solid gold, and you slinked your hands in his, tracing your thumbs over his palms and meeting his eyes. “No more secrets.” He whispered, your foreheads inching closer to each other in mutual agreement. “And, on the subject of no secrets,” Peter began, laughing under his breath a little. “I have been wanting to kiss you since we were sixteen.” You chuckled along with him, your bodies inching closer to one another. Peter wrapped his arms around your waist and you slipped your arms around his neck, placing your head on his shoulder. 

“I’d say me too,” You shuffled in his grip and furrowed your brows at his face. “But that would be too cliché, right?” 

“Very.” He placed a small peck on your lips and your body fluttered with warmth. This was right; even if everything else going on was wrong. You said goodnight to each other, and the door to your apartment building clicked shut as Peter wandered home. 

You pressed the shuffle button on your phone as you got into bed, your mind reeling. Start A Fire from the musical, La La Land, came on and you got into bed, your head hitting the pillow and immediately feeling the need for sleep. Tomorrow; you’d tell them tomorrow; no need to wake them up now. Your eyes fluttered closed, and you were dreaming. 

“Peter?” You spoke out, into the darkness of the room you were in. “Tony?” You croaked, and began to panic beyond belief. You couldn’t see more than two meters in front of you, and you didn’t know where the hell you were. 

A single beam of light came into view, and then a flash of red circled you- “Don’t become a killer, just because you think they are good people,” A sickly sweet voice spoke out, and you saw the outline of a girl under the spotlight. The red substance seemed to stem from her, as she swiped her hands through the air elegantly, encasing you in something that resembled smoke; unbreathable. 

“Steve? Bruce!” You yelled uselessly, and the girl lunged at you, her red eyes beaming into yours as you stumbled back onto the gravelled floor. You screamed, and saw them all then; the rest of the world coming into view. 

They were dead. They were all, dead. 

“Your actions will have consequences, little girl.” The voice of the girl faded, and you were left screaming on the floor of the darkened world, your eyes not able to look away from your dead team mates; the blood still flowing from their life-destroying wounds. The last thing you saw before waking up was Peter, his mask tossed lazily on his chest, his nose bleeding like a waterfall; his eyes wide open; his body unmoving. 

“She came back last night- do you think something happened?” Debs muttered on the other side of your door and your eyes shot open, sweat brimming your forehead and your pulse firing like machine gun rounds. 

“You’re overreacting, she probably just changed her mind about staying over and decided to come home.” The sound of Jason kissing Debbie’s forehead sent guilt throughout your entire body. “I’ll be home by nine.” You heard the door to the apartment swing shut, and Debbie stepped quietly into your room, poking her head round the door.

“Morning, sweetie,” She smiled, and you sat up. You’d slept in a long-sleeved shirt. She brought you in a cup of tea, and you sipped it thankfully. “Did you have fun?” She sat on your desk chair, a slightly concerned look in her eyes. 

“Yeah, it was-,” You took another sip, thinking. “Interesting.”

“Ooo, did drama happen?” Debs crossed her legs like a teenage girl. You thought on your feet, and decided that instead of completely lying or completely telling the truth, you’d elaborate and create a mix of the two. 

“Peter was there,” She raised her eyebrows at you, and you stretched as you got up and paced your room, looking at yourself in the mirror and assessing the small, unnoticeable scratches on your face. You sat on the end of your bed and couldn’t help smiling, suddenly. You’d kissed Peter last night, or he’d kissed you, or you’d kissed each other. “We made up.” You came out with. Debs wasn’t convinced; she looked you directly in the eye and put two and two together as you stared at her, your face changing colour, completely out of your control. 

“Oh my god-,”

“Debs, it’s really not-,”

“You guys confessed! Finally!” She jumped up from her chair and grabbed your arms, spinning you in circles around your bedroom floor. You let her freak out, your face filling with even more colour. “I’m sorry, whoo-,” She huffed, and held your hands lovingly. “I’ve been waiting for it to finally click between you guys for three years, OK? A mom is allowed her secret successes,” She stopped talking suddenly, her eyes widening at what she’d just called herself. You could see her heading towards saying sorry for calling herself your mother, but you spoke up first.

“Yeah, I suppose you mum’s do need to have your fun.” You smiled at her, squeezing her hands in yours. She looked at you, her face transforming into something beautiful, full of thanks, contentment, love. You could see the happy tears welling in her eyes as she let go of you. 

“Right- I’m making pie.” She scurried away, but shouted at you as she shuffled with the baking equipment in the kitchen. “Also, (Y/N), there was a message on the answering machine from Cornell University. They were wondering when you were going to enrol?” You glanced at your desk and saw the college applications, untouched from since you’d got that call from Bruce. 

“OK, thanks,” You said, unenthusiastically. You collected all of the applications and enrolment forms and shoved them in the top drawer of your desk, shutting it forcefully. Then you undressed, deciding to take a shower; one where you didn’t have to think about anything for a while. 

-

Debs left for work at the bakery and you had the apartment to yourself once again. Oh joy. You thought about those applications in your desk drawer; they burned a hole through your brain as you tried to wrap your mind around going to college while all of this was going on. It seemed impossible. Questions were surfacing in your mind, pressuring you to make a decision, and fast. Medical schools don’t wait, you thought. If you take your time, they’ll find that unprofessional, you won’t get in. You tried to butt those thoughts out as you texted your manager at the Apple Store saying you were free for more shifts if they needed you. 

An Apple Store specialist? Was that really who you were meant to be?  
A doctor? Was that the right path? 

Or?  
A mixture of the both. Saving lives and surrounded by cutting edge technology that not even Steve Jobs could have thought of. Living a double life, one side being a plucky Brit from Queens, the other an elemental wielding Avenger. Conflict raged within your brain and you seriously considered stabbing your foot with a fork to focus on something else for once, but you were shaken out of your mind by a knock at the door. For some reason, the apartment felt much more uneasy as you tiptoed your way to the hall, breathing as shallowly as you could. Your apartment didn’t have a view finder, so you had to rely on your own strength to fight off whoever was on the other side, if the situation ever arose. 

“(Y/N)? Are you home?” The timid voice of Peter Parker called through the door, and you slumped, relieved, opening the door and letting him inside. “You OK?” He asked, you pushed your hair out of your face as you sat on the sofa once more.

“Yeah, yeah, all good- just a bit,” You raised your hands and they hovered in front of you, the shaking very much visible. Peter sighed, and joined you. 

“Me too.” He admitted. You nuzzled your head into his shoulder and the two of you embraced. A smile escaped from your lips as you remembered Debs this morning.

“Oh god, so guess what,” You began, and told Peter all about your foster mum’s reaction to you and Peter. All he could do was laugh excessively, his face going bright red, his legs crossed playfully on the couch. You recalled the story and it made you laugh, too. How had she managed to guess so easily? The woman was a psychic, or something. She definitely had a sixth sense. 

“Aunt May kind of guessed to,” Peter scratched his neck, and got up, grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen. You jumped excitedly on the couch and draped your arms over the back of it, facing Peter as he leaned back on the counter. “But, she knew I liked you, so it would have been easier for her to put two and two together.” 

“You told her you liked me?” Peter looked at you as he drank from the glass, a smirk on his lips despite drinking; he raised his eyebrows and you frowned at him smugly. Shuffling over to the sofa once more, Peter slouched over the couch cushions and groaned. You traced your eyes over him, he was definitely wearing pyjamas; you fought the urge to scoff. His hair had been combed, but he hadn’t shaved. You saw faint scratches from last night, littered all over his arms and a few on his neck and cheeks. 

The memory of last night returned to you, and suddenly, you were being shot all over again, the burning metal from the bullet scorching your insides and leaving your throat raw. You yelped as your arm twitched, the nerves moving under the surface of your skin. 

“Does it still hurt?” Peter shot up from his slouched position and was sat in front of you in an instant. 

“No- it just.” You rubbed your hand over the gauze slowly; it didn’t irritate the wound at all. “That was weird,” You furrowed your brows, but looked back up to Peter, taking in his features for the hundredth, thousandth time. 

“Did you tell them?” He whispered, trailing his hand caringly over your arms, keeping a close eye whenever he got to your left forearm. You sat in silence, not blinking. You hadn’t told them, no. But how the hell could you? Debbie would die, she would spend every waking minute worrying about you; I mean she even freaked out when you came home from a party. Jason would struggle to believe it, his logistical lawyer mind not being able to comprehend something as strange as this. You looked Peter in his eyes and raised your eyebrows guiltily. He looked at you with a mixture of annoyance, but also understanding. I bet it was difficult when May found out, you thought. You took a deep breath in and let it all out, but gasped as your mind found yet another question.

“Shit, did you hear anything from Steve?” Peter shook his head and you slumped once more, hating having to wait for something unknown. “That’s that, then? We wait.”

Peter sighed, folding his arm around your shoulder, movie theatre style. “We wait.” He confirmed. The room felt cold; small noises made you jump out of your skin unexpectedly; and as this was all happening, the Avengers were getting ready to leave Stark Towers.

-

Graduation came as quickly as you’d hoped it wouldn’t, and still Debs and Jason didn’t know about you and the Avengers situation. For a week after Ultron in Stark Towers, nor you or Peter had received any word from the heroes. Peter kept sighing, relieved that nothing was going on; but every night you’d had a similar dream.

The girl stood there, her face looked pained and ready for revenge. She would encase you with her red smoke and your brain would go numb inside your skull. The last thing you’d see before waking up would be the Avengers, dead on the floor as you stood above them, untouched. You hadn’t told anyone, there was no point in mentioning bad dreams; they were just your subconscious telling yourself that you were afraid, and you were. So you focused on graduation instead, going to try on robes with Peter that you had to rent and hanging out at his apartment for most of the days leading up to it, while Debs and Jason worked. 

“What are your plans for after graduation, (Y/N)? A smart girl like you should be getting grabbed at,” May stirred a pot on the stove clumsily; she wasn’t the best cook, but she tried, and she had been there for Peter for all these years. 

“I don’t really know- anymore.” You said, sitting on one of their dining room chairs. Peter had gone to take a shower. “I had my mind set on medicine, or doctoring, but... I’m not so sure anymore.” You admitted, and it felt good. You weren’t stepping on eggshells around May like you were at home; Debs and Jason wanted what was best for you, but you didn’t even know what you wanted anymore. 

“Did something get you to change your mind?” You glanced at the table, trying to think of a reply. Yeah, something happened, May. But I can’t really talk about it because it’s about the Avengers. You looked up at her. Her eyebrows perked up, the look in her eyes showed you something, and your stomach dropped. 

She didn’t know, did she?   
Well, she knew about Peter, but not about you, surly? 

You squinted back at her, and it clicked. 

She fucking knew. 

May smiled smugly as she went back to stirring the pot of unknown food on the stove, and your face began to heat up. Peter came out of his room, his body still slightly wet under his clothes and his hair dripping. You stared at him with daggers, and he hesitated, looking from you and then to May, and back again. “Shit.” 

“Yeah, shit,” May laughed at her nephew. 

“You told her? Really?” You spoke up, the tension in the air dissipating as all was revealed. 

“She guessed! Again! How the hell was I supposed to know she’d clock onto it- all the late nights, the glass scratches? When you came at the start of the week she noticed your god damn arm!” Peter tried desperately to justify the situation and you sank further into your chair, covering your face with your hands in a desperate attempt to disappear. May chuckled from the kitchen and turned off the stove, coming over and standing over the dining room table, her arms resting intimidatingly. 

“Look, (Y/N), nothing gets past me, OK? Ever since this- maniac- came back in his spider suit. Nothing evades me. Not even your escapades with that Tony Stark.” Her eyes glinted slyly and you couldn’t help but smile. May had had three years to deal with her hero nephew, she could handle his best friend being one of them, too. You were beginning to feel at ease again, until May coughed. “So, are you guys together now?” 

The brief moment of ease ended, immediately. Both you and Peter turned into literal tomatoes, your whole body turned red as you put a hand to your forehead and tried to see if you had a fever. Peter made the most awkward sound you’d ever heard, and retreated back into his room, muttering something about needing to call Ned, he left the door slightly ajar.

Dickhead, leaving you at the dining table to explain everything to May. 

“Nothing,” You coughed, straightening yourself in your chair. “Er- has been agreed.” God, what was this, a business meeting? Pathetic. 

“Mhm.” May hummed, her smile making it clear that she had been expecting it for years now. Had it really seemed that way between you and Peter? Was it impossible for a boy and a girl to be friends and nothing more these days? Of course not! Yet every mother figure around the block seemed to sense something between the two of you, even before you had. New York had psychic mums to spare. You got up and strolled over to May in the kitchen, your stomach full of butterflies, but you knew you could talk to her about this kind of thing; girl on girl. You coughed subtly behind her, leaning against the sink opposite her.

“Does- he talk about me?” You whispered, your cheeks might as well have stayed permanently red for the rest of your natural born life. May folded her arms, wielding a wooden spoon. She looked you up and down quickly, before lunging at your arms and jumping up and down slightly in excited silence; the kind of small squealing glee that you get when something happens and you can’t yell about it; the kind of small little jogging dance that you do to let out all that adrenaline. 

“Oh god, you guys!” She squealed in a small whisper, and all you could do was laugh. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve had this same experience with Peter?” You huffed it out, but May shut up immediately, smiling at you intensely. “Oh god, you have?” Happiness shrouded your body; Peter had talked to May about you, about liking you. He’d had the same expressive outburst at the fact you guys had kissed. Screw cliché, this was the greatest feeling in the world. 

A thought in the back of your mind brought you back to reality, though;  
Would this feeling last?

-

“I can’t believe it’s already been four years,” Debs handled the lapel of your robes lovingly, straightening out the collar. You were at school for Graduation; it had finally arrived. The principal called everyone to their seats over the sports hall speakers, and that was your cue to go. You waved bye to your foster parents and made your way to your seat in the middle of the hall, nervousness aching through your body profusely. 

Peter caught your eye, and you jogged up to meet him, sneakily sliding your hand in his. You guys still hadn’t properly made it official, it wasn’t so much of a big deal to the both of you to exclaim it to the world that you were basically going out. Ned had caught on as soon as you’d met him, pre-ceremony;

“You can thank me later, Peter,” Ned said, raising his eyebrows at you both.

“And why is that?” 

“Because I was your wingman, obviously. I made you seem cooler around the ladies because of my mass social ineptitude, duh,” You scoffed.

“You’re not socially inept, Ned,” Peter grazed his hand on the small of your back.

“I wore a cowboy hat to Liz’s party in sophomore year.” Ned said bluntly, and you and Peter glanced at each other. The three of you burst out with laughter. You’d missed Ned, he’d been so busy recently, and it felt great to have the gang back together, even just for a day or two. 

You and Peter walked further into the crowds of students finding their seats, and you found yours first. “Well, see you on the other side.” He squeezed your hand in his, before leaving to find his space. As the band started up and the principal made his way to the stage, your stomach dropped. This was really happening, you’d completed high school. In a place you’d never been to before, four years ago. You were graduating! The principal was applauded, and the ceremony started. Your classmates each made their way to the stage to collect their diplomas. You were near the middle of the group, which wasn’t bad; at least you weren’t first, or last. 

The ceremony droned on, and your hands had started to hurt from clapping so much. With every student that left the stage you got more anxious for your turn, so tried to focus on the photos that were being projected onto the stage background. You saw Peter in one, working in the science lab and soldering a circuit board. Ned sat a computer, you could almost hear the tapping of his keyboard. 

“Miss (Y/N) (L/N).” You hadn’t even realised that everyone in front of you had already gone, and you shot up from your seat, walking fast until you reached the steps of the stage. As you walked up, you heard the happy yells from Debs and Jason in the crowd. Your eyes hit Jason’s and you waved a little, before continuing forward to the principal, standing in the middle of the stage. 

“Congratulations,” He uttered, shaking your hand. Rudely, you weren’t fully concentrating on him. Your eyes had trailed to the projection on the stage; a picture of you and Peter; he was giving you a piggy back ride and you both had face paint on; that was Sports Day a few months back, and your face lit up with joy. Everyone cheered louder when they noticed the photo, and you smiled, embarrassed slightly. You caught Peter’s eye in the crowd of people and comically pointed to him as he jumped up and down on the spot. 

That was it; you had your diploma. It was over; you were qualified. The world was entirely yours for the taking now. And it felt utterly amazing. 

And then that feeling ended. 

With a large bang, the projection shut off from the stage, along with the background music from the ceremony. Parents stood up from the bleachers trying to see what had happened, the mingled voices of your classmates rang out through the hall, and you had the worst feeling boiling inside your stomach. 

“Congratulations... and celebrations...” That voice. No. Peter shot up from his seat and was immediately running towards you, the fear in his eyes not distracting him from trying to get you and everyone else safe. You ran down the steps of the stage and collided with him.

“It’s him-,”

“Did you miss me, (Y/N)? Did you think you’d somehow managed to- erase me?” The voice rang out loudly through the speakers and everyone fell silent. Your chest began to tighten, your heart threatening to plummet to the floor. Another small bang, and the projector was back on; this time, a photo of just you was there for everyone to see;

You stood in your ripped silk dress in Stark Towers, clutching your arm as blood poured from the gunshot wound. You were bare foot, your legs bleeding from small cuts, your knees already beginning to bruise. The hall gasped, and you refrained from looking at Debbie and Jason; you couldn’t bring yourself to see the worry in their eyes. “You like doing that, don’t you? Erasing things- keeping them private. Wouldn’t the world be safer, if we all just told the truth?” 

Yes. It would be. But sometimes lying was the lesser of two evils. Honesty is not always necessary in certain situations. To be kind, to be good, is to be able to distinguish between what’s right and what’s better. Ultron didn’t have that ability. 

“How is he doing this- how is he connected to it?” You grabbed Peter’s shoulders and all he did was stare, his mind trying to think of a plan. He blinked once and you saw the cogs moving. 

“The- the generator. It controls the lights, the screen, everything. It’s connected to the internet so the photos can play-,” 

“Kill it, shut it off, do anything you can to-,” Before you finished your sentence, the crowd screamed. Something large flew down from the rafters of the hall, large metal wings swishing through the air with ease. 

Sam.  
The Falcon was here.  
And he was headed straight for the generator. 

In one swift motion, Sam’s wing bombarded with the controls and they exploded in a burst of sparks, flying all over the room. The projector shut off, the imprint of you being on the screen still etched in everyone’s minds. The students ran to the other end of the hall as the principal called an evacuation. This was my fault, you thought. Ultron being here, was all my doing. 

I ruined graduation. For everyone. 

Through the subtle darkness of the sports hall, you heard Ultron’s slimy voice loud and clear; “You’re a big girl now... face me yourself...” It faded into the yells and screams of panic as the parents filed out of the building, trying desperately to find their children. Sam flew towards you and Peter, and landed gracefully, his wings folding back up. His face looked tired, and you shut your eyes, slumping down, trying not to cry. 

“(Y/N), this is the worst timing, I know,” Sam reached out and touched your shoulder reassuringly. “But we need you. The Avengers need you right now.” Your eyes widened, but you’d already made up your mind. You turned to Peter as he tugged on your arm, shaking his head. 

“Peter-,”

“Don’t go. Ultron has some kind of sick obsession with you. Do not go.” He demanded, and the breath got caught in the back of your throat.

“I have to. I need to help them, please-,” Peter sighed desperately, pushing his hair back off his face, his frustration making your gut coil. “Tell Debs and Jason everything.” You felt the all too familiar feeling of tears welling in your eyes. “Tell them I know what I’m doing, that I’ll be home soon.” Peter crossed his arms, trying not to cry. His face was red with anger, he was wearing his emotions on his sleeve. You reached out and slipped your hand through his hair, coming back to his cheek. “This fight, it’s bigger than me, it’s bigger than all of us. I have to help.” 

Peter stared at you, his eyes giving up. He nodded once, and you slipped away from him, turning back to Sam. You listened to Peter running, headed to the exit. With every thump of a shoe on the floor, your heart skipped a beat. You gulped down your tears, your pain, your fear, furrowing your eyebrows at the Falcon, your mind centring around one thing; The Avengers needed your help. 

“Get me to them. Now.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for 1.2k! legit, I'm getting over 100 hits a day and its wonderful to see people enjoying this story. as I continue to write it I'm scared that it'll be shit, but I enjoy writing it so I'm sorry if there is ever a chapter that is literally so rubbish.
> 
> enjoy!!!! this chapter is emotional and I hope its not boring. ahh

“Tony! Get to Banner, now!” Clint yelled over the comms. You were barely listening though, as you manipulated the metal of the ships interior and shot it directly through one of Ultron’s robots. You twisted your body painfully and tensed all of your muscles, using every ounce of strength you had to twist a bridge out of shape so it snapped off like a toothpick. In one swipe, the colossal piece of metal had swung and hit another three of Ultron’s minions; they dropped like flies, and your body slumped, your breathing erratic.

“Top deck is clear.” You breathed into the comm, making your way to the deck below you and mentally preparing yourself for more trouble to occur. You turned the corner slowly, trying to keep your breathing shallow. Nothing. The deck was completely silent. Stepping out of the darkness, you sprinted to get to the other side, across a small bridge, so you could continue down to the lower parts of the ship. Your feet hit the steel of the bridge; then the air was ripped from your lungs as something pushed you backwards, bombarding directly into your chest and winding you. You lay on your back on the cold metal of the bridge and tried to breath, tried to get any form of oxygen into your body. You could see a few black spots in your vision, but they went away when you managed to hoist your body upwards back onto your feet. “Guys, does anyone wanna tell me what might have just slammed into my chest?” The comms rang with static silence.

“Oh, that would have been me.” A man strolled out of the shadows behind you, wearing running gear. His hair was silver, and his face was square. His accent shone through; what was that? Russian? It sounded different.

“Ah, it’s so nice to be acquainted with the person that just punched both of my boobs at the same time.” You said, and took in a deep breath. In an instant, the metal below the man’s feet was warped and wrapped around his feet, crushing his toes and keeping him in place. He yelped and tried to free himself, crouching down to the ground frantically. “Don’t suppose it’s nice to be acquainted with the person who just did that, but I’ll live with it. See ya.” You gave the man a joking salute, and turned to get to the other stairs, but someone blocked your path. And everything went dark.

_You shot up, your eyes widening as you took in the surroundings; you were at home. You were in England again. The sound of shuffling drifted in from outside your door, from downstairs, and you were already up on your feet, opening the door to your bedroom and remembering the familiar winding hallways of the house you’d spent fourteen years living in._

_“Morning, hunny!” Your mum exclaimed sweetly, whisking some eggs in a bowl in the kitchen. She smiled, and your father sat at the breakfast bar, a newspaper draped over his arm, chewing on some toast._

_“Hi, sweetie,” He spoke, smiling through bites. He was wearing golden armour of some kind, but you didn’t think it was odd in the slightest. If anything, you thought your dad looked like royalty._

_You were home. This was home. And your parents were being your actual parents. You found yourself melting into the scene, embracing every element of what was laid out right in front of your eyes. The light made your vision foggy, but it was as if you didn’t care at all. So what if everything was slightly warped? This was reality._

_A knock sounded from the front door, and your mother stopped whisking. “Oh, (Y/N), that’s your boy! You look lovely for your date.” You looked down and saw yourself wearing Pepper’s black silk dress. You didn’t remember putting it on, but that didn’t matter. Your boy was here._

_“Don’t leave him waiting.” You father said, his smile could have been seen as forced, but you saw it as genuine. You skipped to the front door, your hair whipping around yourself as you opened it, ready to see Peter._

_The boy turned as you clicked the door open, and two piercing green eyes were peering into your soul. “Hello, my love.” Loki stepped through the door, his smile the same as your fathers, though the more you stared, the more sinister he appeared. His long black hair hit his shoulders and spiked out, his clothes shimmered away to show golden armour, and suddenly your vision began to straighten out. “Shall we get this show on the road?” The Prince of Asgard grabbed your arm suddenly, his other arm snaking its way around your waist, coiling around you like a python. “We have so much to share with each other.”_

_In one swift motion, your lips were flushed against his. Then you were screaming._

You were screaming, and your eyes shot open, for real. You pinched yourself, checking to see if you were still dreaming. You traced your fingers over your gunshot wound; it felt real, it had to be real. Wait- you weren’t at home. Where were you? The room was dusty and worn with every wall covered in some form of knick-knack; photos, children’s drawings, toys. You needed some questions answered.

You heard voices, and the faint sound of wood being chopped. Someone had made toast, the burning smell inching up your nose and clouding your brain, taking you back into the world where your father had been. You stumbled through a doorway, kicking a toy truck across the room and silently cursing to yourself.

“Someone woke up, finally.” Nat sat at the dining room table of the unknown residence and you thanked the Lord that you hadn’t been kidnapped. You rubbed your eyes groggily.

“What the hell happened?”

“We got slaughtered, that’s what.” The always cheery voice of Tony Stark entered the room, rubbing his hands on a dirty rag. “Big time. Can you remember anything of what we just went through?” Tony sat down on a chair and you joined Nat.

“Yeah, of course,” You explained to Stark what you could remember: Ultron at graduation, Sam picking you up, arriving at the abandoned shipyard and getting into the fight immediately. That guy taking the air from you. And then you were at home again. You woke up here.

Ultron wanted vibranium, the strongest metal in the world, and had sought out someone bad to get it. It seems he wasn’t alone now though; he had people working for him. “It was like- I was dreaming, totally out of it. My head really hurts, actually.” You pressed your palm against your forehead; anything to try and get some relief from the throbbing.

“That bitch.” Nat whispered, and looked over her shoulder for some reason. You furrowed your brows at her. “The kids; don’t want them hearing bad language.”

“The kids?” You repeated. Why were there kids here, where even were you?

“The cat’s outta the bag,” Barton strolled in. Why was he wearing plaid? A woman followed him and coiled her arm around his waist, Clint gave her a peck on the cheek. “This is my house, (Y/N). My wife, Laura, and my kids live here.” You looked around the space and everything began to make sense. The children’s drawings, kid’s books, a big farmhouse in the middle of nowhere- of course Clint would be the one to do something like this with his family to keep them safe.

“Thank you for letting us stay here, Clint. I’m guessing a lot of us were manipulated by that- thing,” You said, rubbing your temples.

“That thing would be Wanda Maximoff, and that other thing is her brother, Pietro. They were experimented on by a man named Strucker, and turned into weapons,” Tony got up a picture of the twins and your stomach dropped inside your body. Wanda- those dreams you were having- she had been in them. She had already looked inside your mind for weeks, and she’d settled upon your real family and Loki to fully ruin you.

“Tony, I’ve been having strange dreams for the past few weeks- not every night, but it’s almost the same dream every time,” Stark put the phone down and stared at you intently. “In them, I’m alone in the dark, and when the lights come on- she, Wanda, is standing in front of me.” Barton sat on a chair, his brows furrowed with concern. “On the floor,” You swallowed, not liking to remember each time you’d woken up almost crying from seeing your friend’s dead. “All of you lay dead.”

“When did you say they started?” Barton asked, scratching his chin with his hand.

“The night after Ultron.” Stark looked at the table, pained. Banner walked into the room slowly and everyone sat silently once more. Laura handed you a cup of tea and you smiled, confused.

“Clint told me you were British, and that you liked a little bit of milk and no sugar.” Laura squeezed your shoulders hesitantly, and it sent a shiver down your spine. Your heart dropped; suddenly Debs was squeezing you in her grip. And then she was staring at a projection of you, terrified. You gulped back tears.

“Thank you, Laura.” You smiled at Barton’s wife, her smile calming you down tenfold, her long brunette hair flowing down her back elegantly. A little girl, Clint’s daughter, rushed towards Nat and gave her a drawing of a butterfly. Nat’s face lit up and you saw her eyes trace over the colourful picture; there was something else there too.

You glanced up and saw Bruce staring at them both, his face wearing so much sadness, so much grief.

“So, what do you reckon Ultron’s plan is after this? Why the vibranium?” Steve came in through the front door. “Thor left. That girl, she made him see something in his mind. He’s pretty shaken, I mean, for a God.” Your fingers tapped idly on your mug.

No one spoke, the room began to fill with static silence and the occasional shuffle of a book page turning, the scratch of a pencil on paper. Bruce came forward, his fingers tracing over the drawing of the butterfly on the table. His eyes lit up, and he swallowed. “Evolution.” Tony whipped his head towards the Dr, his eyes widening as the penny dropped. “Has anyone checked up on Helen Cho since the party?”

Helen Cho: she was amazing. You’d met her at the party at the tower and she radiated brilliance. Her research surrounding stem cells and regenerating them was profound, and you found yourself becoming so fascinated despite not really understanding the complexity of her field. “This is the future, Stark.” She’d told Tony, and he’d smiled smugly. Ultron wanted to evolve; how would he do that?

A body. He would build himself a body.

“I don’t mean to burst the bubble everyone,” You looked up at the Avengers with big eyes. “But I need to go home.”

“(Y/N)-,” Steve began.

“I’m sorry. I can’t abandon my family. I left them with no answers, I can’t imagine what they’re feeling. Ultron did that so that people would find out about me, the one thing that I didn’t want,” You stared at Tony. “And now that they know, I need to be the one to explain everything.”

“What about Wanda?” Nat said, her eyes flicking to Tony and then to you. “Ultron obviously knows something about you that we don’t, and he’s using her to freak you out.”

“Exactly- to freak me out. I’m not freaking out anymore, Natasha. I know what she’s doing.”

“Come on, people. We all know why she wants to head home, don’t we?” You heard the insulting tone in Tony’s voice and told yourself not to take it seriously- he was just stressed. “Peter and you are an ‘item’ now, right?” You tried to remember Steve’s words from work, you tried to remember that he didn’t mean it, the pressure was all becoming too much. You stood up calmly from your chair and went to Tony, nothing but sincerity in your voice.

“I’m not an Avenger, Tony. I have other things that I have to do. So do you.” Tony breathed in, trying to bring down his anger. He nodded, disappointed, yes, but he nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, (Y/N). You’re right. You have priorities. It’s good to have them.” Bruce spoke up, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“He’s right,” An unknown voice spoke out from the entrance way of the house, and everyone turned. “It is good to know your priorities. You’re not an Avenger.” Nick Fury stepped forward, his steps booming on the wooden floor. “I’ve called in a car already. You’ll be home by dinner time.” You stared, awestruck, at him. The former head of S.H.I.E.L.D, one of the greatest agents and managers in the business. He formed the Avengers.

“Thank you- Sir,” You said, hesitating.

“I’ve had my fair share of shit to deal with,” Laura glared at him, his language spreading through the house. “And sometimes it gets to the point where you just wanna go home. You’re young and strong, you know what you gotta do and I’ll support that.” Fury nodded at you. “It’s a good quality to have.”

“Like I said, (Y/N), we’ll keep you in the loop.” Steve said sternly.

“Yeah.” Tony chimed in, scratching his chin, his eyes looking over you in understanding. “Now go home and do what you have to do.”

“All of you- stay safe.” You looked at each Avenger in turn, trying not to picture something bad. You walked slowly to the front door just as Fury’s car pulled up. You grabbed the small bag you’d brought with you to fight and slung it over your shoulder; you didn’t bother looking at your phone. You needed to face your family before you said anything. You turned back to the kitchen as everyone stood silently.

After one last word, you ran down the porch and into the car, slamming the door behind you as the Avengers let your words sink in- “Please.”

-

 Fury was right, you were back before dinnertime. But you didn’t have an appetite. You looked up at your apartment building and saw the lights on; your floor. You still hadn’t looked at your phone, too afraid to see what people had been messaging you.

Your keys jangled in your hands as you went to open the door, but Debs beat you to it- the door swung open with such force and there she stood, her cheeks red and puffy, her face sunken and pale, her eyes swollen. You burst into tears immediately, and Debs pulled you into the apartment, her arms wrapping themselves around you so tightly, never wanting to let go. Jason got up and encased both of you in a hug, his larger arms seeming to make you sob even more. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry-,” That was all you could get out as the three of you stood there, almost falling over. Debs pulled away from you, her hands cupping your face, your tears falling over her palms and cascading to the floor.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry-,”

“Shush, now. You’re home. Let’s have a cup of tea.” She spoke so calmly, the relief setting inside of her at the fact you were home. Something inside of you hoped she didn’t think it was permanent, but you didn’t voice anything. You were home, that was that. For the moment, you were with your family, and nothing could beat that.

“I’ll make them,” The timid voice of Peter Parker rang out from the kitchen as he filled the kettle and put it on to boil. Your eyes found their way to him and you crumbled. His face was the pure imitation of Debs’, and you melted. You ran to him, your body on the brink of collapse, and pressed your lips firmly against his, the two of you colliding in longing. How had you managed to leave them all like this- in this state? How? You pulled apart and just stared at each other; Peter’s eyes flicked over your face and landed on your left cheek, where one of Ultron’s robots had sliced you. His thumb traced over the scabbed scratch and he sighed, a small smile on his lips. “Did you kick his ass?” He whispered.

“Not in the slightest,” You replied.

“How long?” Jason asked. The four of you sat around the coffee table in the living room. This was where the grilling began, and you were ready for it.

“Two months or so- that’s when Tony first got in touch with me.” You spoke calmly, and as the truth poured from your mouth you felt relieved that they weren’t in the dark anymore. “I told him I didn’t want to be in the public eye with my powers, but Channel 5 managed to film me from Stark Towers-,”

“You’ve been to Stark Towers?” Debs yelled slightly, and sipped her tea with shaken hands.

“Yes. I agreed to go and meet them so they could learn about my abilities; it was to fuel their research, that’s why I went. I didn’t know it would turn into this at all.” You breathed deeply and Peter went to wrap his arm around you, hesitating as he caught Jason’s eye. “I was on the news and I panicked, I went back there and Tony said he wanted me to join them. Other- stuff- happened,” You glanced at Peter and Jason nodded.

“Hey there, Spider-Man.” He said sternly. Peter smiled helplessly.

“I went back to see Bruce and find out more about my abilities- he helped me, Debs-,”

“He’s also an unstoppable green killing machine, hunny. Just remember that.” Your frustration coiled up from deep inside you, ready to pounce.

“They’re good people. They make mistakes. That makes them human.” You said bluntly, and Debs retracted back into the sofa, ashamed of what she’d just said. “Ultron.” You began. “He sabotaged graduation because of the fight we had with him at Stark Towers, the Avengers seem to think he knows something about me and is trying to use me in some way.” Jason inhaled and didn’t breathe out. Debs held his hand until her knuckles turned white. “I intend to find out why he’s so interested in me.” As the four of you sat in silence, you tried to think of anything that would reassure them; nothing. This situation was as plain as anything. It was dangerous. It was out there. It was one step closer to you practically being an Avenger- you still weren’t sure if it was what you wanted.

Debs gulped, her eyes meeting Jason’s in mutual agreement. “OK.” She said, and your eyes widened. You got up from your seat.

“Do you mean, ‘OK’ as in you’ve absorbed all the information or ‘OK’ as in I can still help out? ‘OK’ OK? Is that what you mean?” Debs took in a shaky breath.

“’OK’ as in continue to help the Avengers-,” You collided with them both on the sofa, thanking them a thousand times over and over again for them being OK with your escapades and dangerous involvement. “But!” Debs untangled herself from your grip and stood up. “If you’re going to do this; I need to know the Avengers will look after you.” You nodded, and got your phone out immediately, clicking the call button next to Steve’s name.

“Hey, Cap,” You spoke, and Debs went bright red, mouthing ‘Is that Captain America?” Her eyebrows raised and her cheeks flushed brighter. “Here she is,” You said after explaining, and passed the phone to Debs.

“Hello, Mr Rogers. I am (Y/N)’s-,” Debs waited two seconds before she made her decision. “Mom. I’m her mom.” You smiled so wide that it was impossible not to cry from happiness. Leaving Debs to it, you shuffled back to Peter and he gave you a peck on the forehead. Jason joined you both, and Peter removed himself from you, stepping an inch away from you.

“Peter-,” You scoffed.

“Are you two a thing now?” Jason said awkwardly, crossing his arms and glancing out of the fire escape window. You coiled your arm around Peter’s middle and pulled him back towards you and Jason. You looked at him, smiling.

“I think we’re just- going with the flow.” You said, and he nodded, draping his arm over shoulder. “There’s no point in labelling it.” You added. Jason nodded, a small smile spread over him.

“You’ve really grown up, (Y/N).” He looked as if he were about to cry, and you scoffed once more, rubbing his shoulder. “Despite the fear, we’re proud of you. We just want what’s best for you.”

“I know you do.”

“Don’t say this to Debs, but-,” He leaned in closer to the both of you, his face lighting up. “Your powers? Fucking cool.” You tried to keep your laughter contained. “And being around the Avengers- you’ll be fine. You’re turning into a great young lady.”

“’A great young lady.’” Peter repeated, and the three of you laughed in small bursts. This was good, this was nice.

“Right-,” Debs yelled from the kitchen, your phone hung up in her hand. “Well, Steve seemed very- nice.” She said, her cheeks no less full of colour. Jason looked at her weirdly as she almost stumbled over the coffee table on her way to the sofa. “I trust you, (Y/N), completely. If they think you’re fine, I think you’re fine.” She said finally, and you flung yourself on the sofa next to her, your arms wrapping her up gently. She reciprocated, before sighing heavily. “God, I’m starving.” She said finally, and you noticed your own hunger.

“Me, too,” You moaned, pulling Debs up from the sofa.

“Chinese?” Jason suggested, and you all nodded. Peter stood awkwardly once more, until Jason smacked him on the back. “Come on, you like egg fried rice, don’t you?” He smiled, and Peter relaxed.

“I know a good place,” He chimed in. And the four of you left the apartment to get a Chinese; spirits were high but still healing; fear was still present but being managed; family stuck together no matter what, and that was the gospel truth.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy! hopefully you guys haven't forgotten about this fic existing lol - 6 days feels like a longer time when I don't upload. anyway - enjoy!!! this is where shit starts to get proper real and I realise that its kinda difficult to write about thrilling events. aye aye, enjoyyyy!

Two weeks of freedom after something like the shipyard would have seemed like a nice thing, but you were restless, you were looking for Ultron to turn up again with Wanda. The dreams had stopped, oddly, and you found yourself not dreaming at all instead. 

You'd been working everyday for the fortnight, trying to focus on something else instead of the incessant heartbeat that pulsated through your body; a reminder that you were alive, you were still a target. You'd had a text here and there from Steve; they were going to check on Helen Cho, that was certain, but they needed time to create a plan. Until then, they'd stay at Clint's. Other than that, you and Peter were in the dark. 

"Why don't they ask you to help, Peter?" You whispered to him. The both of you lay on his bed, a movie playing on his TV that neither of you were really watching. Your head lay on his chest, and you could hear his heartbeat. It sounded faster; he was a mutant after all. His chin rested on the top of your head and his hand was gripped on your hip comfortably. You thought about your relationship; it was practically the same as before, but with a bit more touching. You were content with that; so was Peter. 

"Stark wants me to stay here right now. And besides, other parts of the world need someone to help, too," you looked up at him and he traced his thumb over your healed scar. "I help the little guys, and I'm happy to do that." You smiled, and pressed your lips to his, inhaling him. Every time you kissed him now you got the same set of butterflies in your stomach, the same blush on your cheeks, the same ecstatic feeling that you got on the balcony at Stark Towers. 

"Right-," you hoisted yourself up from Peter and he frowned. "I gotta get ready for work." 

"Or you could just, stay?" Peter whined, grabbing your arm and pulling you playfully back towards him. You landed on his chest and laughed as you tried to get back up but failed at his strength. "I- have- microwave- popcorn." On every word he placed a kiss on your cheek, your nose, your forehead, your lips. 

"And I have a stable job that I enjoy." You said smugly, and he let you up. You shuffled around in your bag and found your Apple uniform. You took off your top, not caring that you were only wearing a bra and jeans in front of Peter; you'd seen his chest more times than you could count. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and you turned round to face him. He lay on his bed sideways, looking up at you with a content face, staring at your body with wide eyes, taking in your form. You scoffed. "What? Never seen a girl in a bra before?" He smirked.

"I've seen one other girl in her bra," you raised your eyebrows at him; he hadn't told you about that, hm. "I've just never seen  _you_ like this before." You jokingly turned round a few times like a catwalk model.

"And? Thoughts?" You slipped your shirt on as you saw Peter's eyes looking you up and down intently once more, before meeting your eyes.

"Beautiful." 

-

"(Y/N), you're needed in the stock room," your manager poked you on the shoulder gently and you smiled at him, heading for one of the two massive metal doors that blended into the wall behind the Genius Bar. As it shut behind you, and checked your phone while navigating the corridors to the stock room downstairs. A message from 'pp' -  _There's always microwave popcorn for when you finish work. X_

Jesus, he was perfect. Better late than never, you thought, and a small chuckle escaped your lips. You shuffled with your keys as you found the one that opened the stock room; the door clicked open and you headed inside. 

"Happy?" You said, your eyes falling upon him as he stood in the centre of the room, fiddling with the case for an iPhone. "What- are you doing here? How are you here?" 

"That doesn't matter right now." His voice was stern and serious, and your stomach dropped.

"What's happened-,"

"It's Romanoff," he began, and you felt your gut coil up inside your body, making you shake with fear and adrenaline. "Ultron took her." 

-

"Spill everything, Stark. I'm all ears," you said, staring at the computer screen in front of you. Peter stood behind the sofa with his arms crossed. 

"Banner was right- Ultron went for Helen Cho and made her use the vibranium to build himself a body." You ducked your head down and sighed. "We got the cradle back though, but had a man overboard."

"Nat." You said bluntly. The Avengers sat around the computer screen, all bunched together. "Are you back at the tower?" Thor nodded and looked at Tony. "Why do you all look like that?" They all looked like they were hiding something, like they needed to say something, like they were guilty.

"Look, (Y/N), it's best if you just come and see us." Steve said, and you frowned. You turned to look at Peter and he travelled round to sit next to you, placing his hand in yours. You shuffled closer towards him so your bodies touched. Steve looked away in embarrassment, but everyone else almost smiled. "Hey, Pete." Peter nodded at Tony, despite the clear frustration etched all over his face. "Is it OK if we borrow your girl?" You blushed violently, but Peter kept his blunt attitude.

"(Y/N) can decide things for herself- she doesn't need my permission." Steve smiled at that. "But remember what Debbie said," Peter stared at Tony through the screen. "Keep her safe." You squeezed his hand, and shut the laptop after a monotonous goodbye. 

Peter got up from the couch just as Debs and Jason came through the door carrying groceries. Debs took one look at his face and almost dropped the paper bag in her hands. "What's happened- what is it?" She rushed towards you as you got up as well, trying to shrug her off kindly. 

"It's fine, it's fine-,"

"It's not fine, (Y/N)!" Peter yelled. "He's still coming after them and you, he's not gonna stop until he destroys everything." Jason sighed and dropped the groceries on the kitchen counter top. 

"That's why I need to be there, to help them take him down and stop his fucking sick charade!" The three of them stood in front of you, it was as if it were three against one. You loved them all, so much. But did they understand this fight was to evade a globally catastrophic outcome? You stomped to your room and began packing whatever you thought you'd need; shirts, trousers, phone charger. Grabbing your keys on the kitchen counter you went for the door, but Peter stepped in front of you. "Please let me do this. This is my decision." You said sternly. Peter frowned.

“I love you, darling,” Debbie whispered, and Jason came up to hug her from behind. You furrowed your brows and sighed, absorbing the way that your foster parents looked at this moment in time- upset, afraid; accepting. You nodded at the two of them, your mouth not being able to form any words. You turned back, and bumped into Peter. He looked down at you.

"Let me walk you to the subway." 

As you and Peter approached the subway, the ten blocks of silent walking was finally getting to you. You turned to him, suddenly, and collided with him, wrapping your arms around his neck as his arms came to coil around your waist, squeezing you and sending butterflies plummeting into your gut. "I love you." He whispered. And you could have gone your entire life without hearing those words from him and still would have known he did. Goodbyes were always difficult for you. You wouldn't allow yourself to say it. You'd be back before you knew it. 

The embrace stopped, and you moved away from him, your mind struggling to find something to say. You loved him, yes. But saying it would be like saying goodbye. And this wasn't a goodbye moment. You furrowed your brows at him, a small smile on your lips and for the first time not caring about your blush. The subway rolled along the tracks mundanely and you turned round, fast walking up along the platform. The doors huffed open. 

You saw your reflection in the lit up windows of the carriage, the scene of Queens looking warped as the doors shut. Your heart jolted and you turned round, your eyes scanning the area where you had just been-

Spider-Man stood where Peter had been; you knew he was crying, despite the mask covering his face. You placed your hand on the glass of the window and he took off into the darkness of Queens.

-

“Good, you packed.” Tony said as you entered the main living area of the tower. You swallowed your fear at his words; they implied you’d be going away. You scanned the room and the faces of the Avengers as they readied themselves for whatever it was, still you were in the dark. Your eyes stopped on a massive hole in the wall, having come directly from the lab.

“What the hell happened here?” You pointed, and the all too familiar voice of Jarvis entered your ears, swelling your brain with fond memories of the AI.

“Sorry,” You whipped yourself around and a man- thing?- stood in front of you. His skin was a reddish purple, and vibranium coursed through his body in wave like segments; atop his head a yellow stone shone like gold; he was floating in mid-air. “That was me.” You stood as still as a statue while the man took a step forward slowly; you flinched, and he pulled himself back. “Miss (L/N), I believe?” You didn’t move a muscle.

“Why do you sound like Jarvis?” You said suddenly, the words plummeting out of your mouth despite your adrenaline wanting you to shut up. Banner placed a warm hand on your shoulder and you slumped, relaxing more in his grip.

“The cradle,” he began, and you moved yourself from your spot, heading over to where Thor was polishing Mjölnir. “We uploaded Jarvis’s matrix to counteract that of Ultron’s.” The penny dropped; this was supposed to be Ultron’s next stage of evolution. Instead, the body had been replaced with Jarvis- someone whose morals were, well, better. “Vision was created.” Banner took off his glasses and popped them in his shirt pocket. Silence fell over the room, Steve paced with his bag on his shoulder.

“So- what’s the plan now?” You uttered timidly. Tony swished the drink in his hand mundanely. He coughed, and took a gulp.

“Nat.” That was all he said. And you understood, looking down at the ground and pulling up a chair next to Thor.

“She’ll contact us, Tony. She will. Clint’s already testing every method in the book- if anyone can find her it’s him.” You tapped your fingers idly on the table, and Thor gently placed his hand over yours. You stopped tapping, the anxiety seeming to disappear from his touch just a bit. You smiled at the God- he was so powerful, so mighty, yet he was here defending an earth that wasn’t his own. His brother; Loki; couldn’t be more different. Your mind reeled back to the vision Wanda had made you dream up- and suddenly your throat was closing up as Loki kissed you forcefully. You pinched your arm to get yourself back into the room. “Wherever Nat is, Ultron will be there, too.”

“And I know where she is,” Barton fast walked into the room, his bow and arrow held securely on his back and his face stern. The room fell silent as everyone held their breath- this was it. The final fight would happen. They would find Nat, and save the world.

“Sokovia.”

-

The plane came to a swift landing in the trees surrounding Sokovia, and as the doors opened you were hit with humid, dusty air that stuck to the back of your throat. On the trip over, Tony had given you a gift- a suit. It wasn’t advanced like his, it wasn’t made from iron or vibranium or cost over a billion dollars- it was simple. The slick black long-sleeved top acted as a thermal layer, helping you heat up or cool down in extreme weather conditions. Alongside the slightly more advanced black skinny jeans, you looked just like you normally did, if not a bit more gothic. “Black is good, intimidating.” Nat had told you once. Your heart plummeted to the bottom of your chest. You’d changed in a small, stuffy adjoining room on the plane, and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your collar bones stuck out, reminding you of a skeleton. Your hair stopped just above your shoulders and cascaded down in choppy waves. Your face was bare, and pale; there were black welts under your eyes.

But Nat was right. Black was a good colour on everyone, and Tony had done a brilliant job with making sure you had a suitable enough suit to at least keep you safe. The Avengers piled out of the hangar and huddled in the forest, awaiting full instructions. Tony appeared in his Iron Man suit and laid the plan out-

“Banner, you go and find Romanoff. The rest of us, we evacuate the city, every single man, woman and child. Get them out of here. Vision, cut Ultron off. Get inside his head, infiltrate that sick man’s brain-,” Tony went silent, almost too silent. You furrowed your brows and followed his eye line to where he was staring behind you;

The twins stood together, hand in hand, and you immediately lunged at Wanda, not giving a shit about the other Avengers. Your hand wrapped tightly around her neck, and she didn’t fight back; her hand gripped yours gently as you kept tensing your fingers tighter around her. Pietro was held back immediately by Steve as you continued to back up the Scarlet Witch until she was at the edge of the forest, clutching tighter onto your arm as her eyes pierced yours with her gaze. You could hear faint shouting behind you, but it was as if your ears had stopped functioning properly; all your concentration was on the infiltrating scum that was holding onto you for her life. “I’m sorry,” She croaked out and you stumbled backwards slightly as her apology rang through you. Your grip became slightly slack, and Wanda took that as a confirmation to keep talking. “He lied to us. We never wanted this outcome.”

“Then what did you want?” You spat at her, your teeth clenched together tightly. “To ruin us? Me?” Wanda gulped painfully, trying to inhale as much oxygen as she could.

“I will tell you everything- as I have your friends,” She looked towards Stark in pleading. They all knew? They knew that the psycho twins would turn up? That they were all buddy-buddy now? You let Wanda go and she plummeted to the ground with a thud; she took in a deep, shaking breath, and Steve let Pietro go. He scowled at you as he encased his sister in an embrace. Now, your anger was face to face with Stark once more.

“I’m gonna bet you didn’t just forget to tell me about this,” You furrowed your brows as the rage boiled up inside of you. Thor moved forward and placed a restraining hand on your chest, keeping you back.

“Fighting each other is futile. First, we complete the job. Then we talk and argue. We need to be a unit as of now.” You pushed Thor’s hand away forcefully, and went to stand by Steve, your arms crossed.

“He is right.” Pietro spoke, Wanda was up on her feet again, her neck was red and raw. You looked away from what you’d just done; ashamed. “We need to go. Now.”

You stayed as far away from the twins as you could when the evacuations began. Summoning the earth, the air, water and fire, you manipulated the elements to cut a simple pathway through the forest for the people of Sokovia to get out as fast as they could. It wasn’t long before the crowds of people were fleeing in panic. You surveyed the city from your position and could see the sickly smoke that Wanda was wielding- it was infiltrating peoples’ homes, getting into their minds and telling them to drop everything and leave immediately. “(Y/N), need you on the Northern side to dry up the lake- it’s the quickest route to the next city over.” Steve called out over the comms.

“On my way.” You replied, and summoned the air to help you get there as fast as you could. Despite being able to literally control the air in the sky, as far as you knew, you couldn’t fly. It was more like being able to jump quite far, and occasionally hover in mid-air, depending on how you manipulated the air around you. After ten minutes of jumping from building to building, you arrived at the lake. You twisted your arms elegantly and jumped; the air swirled around you as you headed for the centre of the water, and then you were falling, plummeting straight into the middle of the lake.

A splash, and then something insane- the water began displacing itself from around you as you tensed your body and moved through the water. It travelled up to the forest, the trees, and rained down on the plants and nature, creating a subtle rainbow in the faint light that surrounded Sokovia. You hitched a ride on an airborne wave as it flew above the lake, and you saw them all; all the souls; the souls that you were saving, as they waited at the edge of the lake for a clear pathway to safety. Steve stood at the front of the crowd, on guard and keeping watch of all of the civilians as they waited patiently for the water to be all but gone. Their home was disappearing right in front of their very eyes.

As the last floating wave cascaded to the ground, you tumbled down to the floor as a drop of rain, landing in the centre of the now empty lake. Steve gave the word, and the people of Sokovia began travelling across the now open and dry plain. You exited to the side, not wanting to get in the way. “Not too shabby, hippie.” Tony’s voice cut through over the comms, and you scoffed to yourself. You looked up and saw him hovering above you. You saluted your middle finger at him.

“Tony. You need to see this.” Thor’s voice came through on the comms, and Stark began flying off to his location. You jogged to join Steve.

“Regroup.” Steve spoke over his communicator. “Everyone but Tony and Thor, regroup.” Steve jabbed you on the shoulder, and the both of you were running to the centre of the city. Your eyes scanned the area- it was empty. Sokovia was rustic and sweet, and the church was at its core, bringing the whole community together. It was also Wanda and Pietro’s home. And it was under attack.

Steve, yourself, Wanda, Pietro and Clint stood just outside the church, breathing deeply. You caught eyes with Wanda for just a second, but looked away. “Cap- we’ve found something.” Tony said frantically over the comms. “Friday analysed what we found- it’s the rest of the vibranium, and Ultron’s definitely brewing one big cup of hot tea.” You stared at Clint as all of you listened to Stark’s words.

“Captain!” Vision yelled from inside the church, and the situation unfolded. Your gut coiled as Ultron strolled around mundanely in the church; his metal skeleton having been made bigger, stronger, deadlier. Steve nodded at Vision; the plan would truly be in motion after this. In one swoop, Vision collided with Ultron, his hands digging deep into the brain matrix of Ultron’s internet, blocking him out of every server.

This time he’d not be able to come back. To upload himself to some other network. He’d be dead.

“You shut me out,” Ultron’s voice spread through the air like wildfire, and your stomach dropped. Ultron punched Vision square in the jaw, and the godlike man flew through the air, unconscious. Ultron dropped to the ground with a thud, and looked around, breathing in the Sokovian air. “I suppose it’s time I did the same,”

He grinned. And the ground underneath your feet shook so violently that you could have fallen over. Without warning, the whole earth was moving, breathing, alive. You fell onto your knees and placed your hands on the surface of the earth, frantically trying to understand what this sudden shift had been. Your palms felt the soil, the rock, the crust- and something else.

Vibranium. Thrusters. Was that electromagnetic energy?

You looked back up at the shaking sky and your teammates had parted, all heading to parts of Sokovia that were most vulnerable; to help the people that still remained on the crumbling city. You felt the earth as it shuddered beneath you, and the air around you whipped without control. You shot up as Ultron strolled towards you, and went to kick the daylights out of him; his metal body caught yours, clutching your arm and flinging it to the side, along with the rest of your body like a ragdoll. The air was blown out of you as your back hit the wall of the church, and you landed on your knees, your jeans already ripping from the harsh gravel and sharp shards of metal Ultron had lost from his encounter with Vision.

“I was so hoping Stark would bring you here,” Ultron approached you, and you stayed still. He crouched down to your level, and brought a silver hand underneath your chin. You fought the urge to swear or throw up. “Wanda- you. You’re so similar. You don’t realise your full potential.” Steve’s voice spoke on the comms, but you weren’t listening. You were focusing on Ultron’s piercing red eyes as he divulged your every thought.

It was as if you could sense his thoughts, too.

You wiped a drop of blood falling from your nose, and looked at the killer.

“Global extinction...,” You whispered. Ultron stood, and suddenly he was as tall as a building. You were a passer-by trying to find the top of the skyscraper. “We’re all sat on a meteor.” Ultron smiled, and let out his disgusting laugh.

“Oh, it’s so much more than that.” Ultron raised his arms, and suddenly, sprouting from the ground like weeds were Tony Stark’s compromised robots. Hundreds- thousands, of them. You heard screams, and yells, and you felt sick. Sokovia was a ticking time bomb, and all of these people would die, the whole world, if Ultron wasn’t stopped. Your vision blurred as you felt your body begin to shut down, and Ultron strolled away from the church and took off, the hint of a grin still etched on his face.  

Sokovia was flying.

And soon, it would fall.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lucky you guys, a double upload. sorry but this chapter is so tense n thrilling I had to post it. enjoy heheeheheh

“(Y/N), you gotta get up now,” Peter nuzzled you playfully as you tried to keep sleeping serenely in his bed. You’d stayed the night.

Opening your eyes, you focused on him; your boy. His curls were ruffled and scruffy, his face unshaven and stubbly. His eyes were a bright hazel in the morning, and reflected everything around him in a beautiful mirage. He was topless, and you counted the beauty spots and freckles on his collarbone, his shoulders, his chest. 

“But I don’t want to get up,” You stretched and let out a slight morning moan as your whole body clicked. Peter leant closer to you and placed a kiss on your lips; you inhaled him deeply and laced your arms around his neck. He retracted, and opened his mouth to try and make some kind of funny retort. 

All that came out was a scream. A high-pitched scream. The scream of someone who was on the brink of death. You shot up, and looked him in the eyes. “What?” You muttered. Peter screamed once more as his mouth opened, and you pushed your hands over your ears trying to drown at the incessant noise. 

It didn’t stop, the screaming got worse, and worse. And then you were passing out. 

“(Y/N)! You gotta get up now, you gotta get up-,” You shot up and placed your body against the cracked wall of the church. In front of you stood Nat, and as your eyes focused you collided with her, wrapping yourself around her. 

“You’re here, you’re OK,” She hugged you back slightly, before pulling away and slapping you directly in the face. You let out a small moan as you clutched your face; it felt hot. 

“I’m sorry, but we need to move. Now!” Suddenly, your brain kicked into action, and your legs were moving, running, slaloming throughout the crumbling city of Sokovia. Ultron’s minions covered the skies, blasting anything they could find; including people. Cap’s shield flew through the air and took down two robots in one explosion of metal shrapnel. Thor wielded his hammer and crushed the ground beneath his feet, rippling the earth and destroying more than ten robots. Clint skilfully shot at the flying death traps, his reflexes were fast and his aim was never off. Pietro ran as fast as a formula one car, or faster, and bashed through the robots, leaving them broken and lifeless on the floor when he looked back and surveyed his work. Wanda- she manipulated the very structure of the mind, and bent the robots in the most painful of ways, ripping apart their very being. 

Where was Banner? Where was Stark? 

“Stark, what did you and Thor find before I blacked out?” You shouted over the comms, and Tony replied almost immediately. 

“You blacked out? Already?” You rolled your eyes, and a robot lunged at you. You tensed your hands and suddenly it stopped in mid-air as its metal shell warped into something else entirely. You balled your fist, and the inner system of the bot flew out of its body, cascading to the floor with drops of oil. Wanda watched you as you took down another five by causing the air to bunch up into a tornado like structure, ripping through the robots and leaving nothing but debris. 

“Just get on with it, Stark!” You picked up a broken metal arm from the floor and whacked another round the head with it, sending it plummeting through the thin brick wall of a house. It didn’t get back up.

“It’s the system that’s causing this hunk of rock to fly- there’s a separate magnetic field to stop it from breaking up-,”

“It’s a meteor, Tony. Ultron plans to- ah!” You lunged to the floor as two robots came for you. Kicking yourself up, the earth beneath your feet cracked, and suddenly you had three boulders of hard rock above your head. Your arms twisted; and the boulders struck the metal skeletons simultaneously. Their blue eyes faded. You blew the hair out of your face. “He plans to drop it when it gets high enough-,”

“I know, global extinction.” You nodded, and you rounded the corner of a building, resting on the wall and having a breather. Sokovia- it needed to blow up. Otherwise the whole world would perish. “I’m sitting on a plan; me and Thor have got it covered, OK? Focus on killing off all his nutjob minions.”

“Copy.” 

Steve appeared next to you suddenly, and you would have punched him in the face if his hand hadn’t wrapped around yours, stopping you. “Sorry, Cap,” You said, breathing out and retracting your fist. He mimicked your position, and had a breather next to you. Even mutant made combat heroes needed a break once in a while. 

“These people. They’ll all die.” He said, and you gulped, noticing how empty your stomach felt inside of your body. 

“Maybe I could help with that, Captain.” The voice of Nick Fury rang through the comms, and you looked around frantically as the whirring of engines flew across Sokovia. Cap and you ran to the others; they were all watching as a ship the size of a hundred football fields hovered in mid-air next to the floating city. 

Cap laughed. “Fury, you son of a bitch,” 

“Ooh, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” 

You chuckled in relief- at least you’d be able to save these people and get them off the city before it dropped. If it dropped. If. “This is S.H.I.E.L.D?” Pietro said, standing next to Steve with wide eyes.

“This is what S.H.I.E.L.D is supposed to be,” Pietro smiled slightly, and bobbed his head to the side. 

“This is not so bad.” 

In front of your eyes, smaller subsidiary ships designed for passengers flew out of one of the ships hangars, stopping at the edge of the floating city. “OK, get everyone on the ship, make it a priority!” Cap yelled, and everyone sprang into action.

You guided hundreds of citizens to the nearest lifeship and surveyed the area. Everyone was accounted for. Except Thor and Vision. You clicked the GPS location button on the weird bracelet Tony had given everyone and found Thor- he was at the church. Why? You summoned the air with a mixture of curiosity and concern for the God, and jumped all the way to the church. You landed silently, and hid behind a pillar.

Ultron had Thor’s neck in his metal hand, and the God was without his hammer. You had to do something- “(Y/N), stay down.” Vision glided up from behind you and you almost screamed. In his hand, he held Mjölnir. You did a double-take, and stared wide eyed at him.

“You think you can save them all?” Ultron uttered, still with Thor in his grip. 

“I am Thor, son of Odin, and as long as there is- life in my breast- I am- running out of things to say- now!” Vision flew forward in a rush of speed and Mjölnir whipped round, hitting Ultron directly in his stupid metal face. He flung back, breaking through the thick limestone walls of the church, landing with a thud on a train carriage. 

“Stark, they’re coming for the core. They hit it and then this city comes crashing down.” Thor spoke through the comms, and you took a space next to the God, guarding the core. 

“Everyone, finish up with the civilians, then head to the church. It’s time to work for a living.” Wanda and Pietro were the first to arrive, then Cap, Clint and Vision. 

“Romanoff, you and Banner better not be playing hide the zucchini.” You could have whacked Tony for saying that. It was obvious that Nat and Bruce had a thing, now. But it wasn’t something that needed bringing up in a potentially life-threatening battle.

“Relax, shellhead. Not all of us can fly.” All of a sudden, a yellow cargo truck stopped clumsily outside the church, and Nat jumped out. Banner was nowhere to be seen; but he was the Other Guy, he wasn’t himself. 

All of you surrounded the core, and the adrenaline coursed through your body as if you were high on some drug. You felt dizzy, but you felt strong, and as you saw the Avengers gathered around you, you felt like you were part of something big, something that felt right; something that you knew you’d had in you from the start. “If Ultron gets his hands on the core, we lose.” You readied yourself, and stood with your knees apart. You breathed slowly, in and out, and focused on the earth, the trees, the nature around you. They were a part of you. 

Slowly, Ultron flew down from the sky and landed just in front of the church; alone. Thor pointed his hammer at the robot, picking a fight. “Is that the best you can do?” His voice boomed, and silence followed; until the subtle whir of thrusters began. In front of your eyes, Ultron’s minions assembled behind their leader, the same piercing blue eyes looking at you from all angles. This fight wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. 

“You had to ask,” Steve muttered through clenched teeth. 

“This,” Ultron gestured to his indoctrinated children. “Is the best I can do.” You scowled at the robot, and he caught your eye for just a second. What was with his interest in you? In Wanda? “This is exactly what I wanted,” Now, he definitely looked you directly in the eyes, and you found yourself stepping forward, wanting him to see that you weren’t afraid anymore. “All of you, against all of me.” 

“I’m sure you’ll retract that statement when you’re all gone.” You spat at the robot, and he chuckled, flying to the ground less than ten meters from where you stood. 

“My offer still stands, (Y/N). You don’t understand what you really are, what you could do.” You furrowed your brows at him, and shook your head, almost laughing. 

“I may not understand what I am, but you understand this-,” You strode even closer to Ultron, and stopped two meters from him. He stayed put. “You die today.” 

“Wrong answer,” Before you could step back, Ultron lunged at you, but you were one step ahead. The rock beneath your feet encased him immediately in a thick box of concrete; it would at least stall him for a minute or two, and give the Avengers a head-start on his minions. And, oh, they came. They came like wildfire. 

The endless stream of robots came at you full force, trying to get past you to the core as you hit them back with all of your strength. You encased two in a bubble of water and they short circuited, you hit another four with the metal you manipulated from Nat’s adopted cargo truck, another three with boulders of broken concrete, full of steel rods for structural support before they crumbled to the ground. It felt like you’d been there for days, fighting the same two robots each time, over and over and over again. Your muscles gasped for oxygen, and you had cramp all over your body, the lactic acid getting to breaking point. Not once did you glance around you at the other Avengers; you were too scared of what you’d see. 

Banner boomed around in front of you, killing robots with his bare hands. Despite him being the Other Guy, he had the same face, the same eyes. He was still Banner, on the inside, and he still wanted to do good. All the while, Ultron stared at you and the others while you fought relentlessly. It angered you that he simply stood there, surveying something that he could stop with one click of his hand. “The big guy is mine!” Tony shouted, and you hesitated, looking up just as he took off for Ultron. That was your fatal mistake, and you got déjà vu as you were thrown back against the church wall, falling to your knees once more. You saw Wanda, and she stared at you in concern as you tried to scramble back up to a standing position. The robots were advancing, and you still weren’t ready. 

In one motion, Wanda eradicated all of the robots in a five metre radius, her red smoke billowing around and latching onto each individual slave and crushing it to the floor. After she was finished, she headed to your position, and heaved you up off the floor. Her eyes never left yours, and you had to look away first, remembering your burst of anger in the forest when this all began. You nodded at her in thanks, and went back to the battle, ready to continue where you left off. 

But no one was fighting anymore. 

They were gone. All of them. Had you all done it?

You looked around at the scene of death, the debris, the shrapnel, the overwhelming taste of metallic in the air and the smell of burning. None if the robots got up again, their blue eyes had flickered out for the last time. And you collapsed to the floor. 

-

The Avengers and yourself strolled back to where the last lifeship was, ready to get off Sokovia. Tony and Thor had gone to the centre of the core, ready to fire it up and blow up the city before it had the chance to destroy the world. Steve held you steady as you climbed over debris, your throat was dry and dusty, and you had cuts and bruises all over you. At least I didn’t get shot again, you thought. “Tony, where did Ultron get to?” 

The comms rang out statically. “I don’t care. We blow this baby up and he’s gone.” Steve nodded, and took out his earpiece, stepping onto the ship and giving you a hand. You didn’t take it. “I thought I saw a person back there. I don’t want to risk not looking if it happens to be an alive robot.” Steve nodded, but furrowed his brows. The truth? You needed a breather, on your own, and you headed round the side of one of the buildings. The breeze fell against your face gently and caressed your broken skin, making you smile. In a day, you’d see Peter again, Debs again, Jason again. You’d be home. 

From back in the courtyard, you heard the small screams of a human; a young boy. You hoisted yourself up and jogged to the source of the noise, someone was still in the city; they needed to get off before it blew. Rounding the corner, you spotted Clint; he’d seen the boy, and jogged over to his side, taking him by the hand, ready to go to the lifeship. “Incoming! Barton!” Steve yelled, just as the Avenger’s ship flew down over the courtyard, a compromised robot controlling it. The rapid fire of bullets spilled from the defence guns, and they were heading straight for Barton.

“Clint-!” You yelled, and ran towards him, your friend, your close friend. But something beat you, and pushed you back to the safety of where you had been before. You were winded once more, and your ears rang with the noise of gunfire. 

Clint. No.

“I bet you didn’t see that coming,” Pietro uttered, blood pouring from his mouth, his body. He’d been hit. Several times. He collapsed to the floor, his eyes wide open, his mouth agape. He was dead. Your hand clutched your mouth as you tried not to scream, your arm leant on the side of a wall as you tried not to fall to your knees. Behind you, two buildings collapsed as a sheet of red smoke demolished them, leaving nothing but more dust to pick up. 

“Wanda-,” And you were running, ignoring the calls and chants and yells coming from the lifeship, from Steve, from Barton. “Get that boy to safety!” You screamed, and continued running, summoning the air to help you get to Wanda faster. Her twin, her brother, the last of her family had just been murdered. You knew what she was going to do-

She would go for Ultron. She would devour him. She wouldn’t get off the city in time. 

“Do you know what it felt like-,” Wanda’s voice spoke, honey-toned but full of so much hate, so much resentment, for the robot that she’d thrown down so hard that he couldn’t get up. You stared, your eyes etched with the scene you’d just seen, as Wanda tensed her fingers into claws, and sucked the main system from Ultron’s body. The oil spurted everywhere, and the metal chords and wires still moved with electricity as she held Ultron’s heart in her hand. “Like that.” Ultron’s red eyes faded, and you ran towards the Scarlet Witch, reaching out for her-

You never made it. 

The ground beneath your feet fell, suddenly, and you were falling. Sokovia was plummeting to the earth, and you were falling with it, as small as a rain drop in a thunder storm. You were rolled sideways and pushed as the air whipped around you; it was too strong to control. You were all but powerless against what was happening. The wind whirled and hit you forcefully, pushing and pulling you back in all directions as you raised higher up than the tallest buildings in the city. From far away, you’d be mistaken for a piece of debris, a broken piece of metal; not a human who was falling.

The communicator was sucked out from your ear just as the voice of Steve rang through- he was cut off, and so were you. 

The space around you shook violently, the air, the wind, the clouds- and below you Sokovia was illuminated in blue as the vibranium core exploded. The city cracked in two, then four, then millions of crumbling buildings, churches, homes. Peoples’ homes were being destroyed as they watched from the safety of S.H.I.E.L.D’s ship, and the civilians on the ground must have been running for their lives. 

You couldn’t run. You couldn’t scream. 

Was this the end? Would you be able to survive this, this fall? Would the air listen to your words of pleading, of begging, to wrap you up safely and drop you back to the lifeship? Would Thor, would Stark, would Steve, would Vision- would they come for you? Would they still notice you were missing?

Would you be remembered? As an Avenger, or as yourself. 

Would they come to your funeral? Would Debs curse Tony Stark and Steve Rogers to the bottom of hell for not protecting you? Would Peter stop being Spider-Man?

How odd, that selfishness took over you as you fell through the air, that the questions running through your mind concerned yourself. Were you known? Were you appreciated? Were you loved?

The heat of the explosion hit you and suddenly you were burning up, completely. You weren’t just falling, you were falling into a fire that you couldn’t stop, a fire that you couldn’t control or put out; something that would erase you from the world that you had just saved with your friends. Your family. 

Your mother. Your father. They didn’t even know you were here. 

You saw them, then. You were young, and they were smiling as you came charging into the living room, a grin stretched across your face. Your father wore the same armour he had done in your dream of Wanda’s, and your mother looked at him like she loved him. 

You opened your eyes as the tears were forced upwards into the air around you. You looked at the view of the sun setting over the trees, the clouds that were once grey were now a dazzling white. That view- 

It was the last thing you saw before your lungs stopped working.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! this chapter is kinda all over the place, but I needed it to give you some infoooo and to also prep for the next main event in the marvel universe (aye). I really hope you're all enjoying this fic because I love writing it!! also I'm so close to having 100 kudos and 2k hits which is BLOODY AMAZING so thank you all so much!!
> 
> as always, enjoy!! don't hesitate to leave me comments hehe

Nothingness. That was all you imagined the afterlife would be, if there even were a place people went to after death.   
  
The cold, frozen air sealed your body in a case of numbness, yet you felt warm to your core. Maybe dying like this wouldn't be that bad, you thought. There were worse ways to go. From the start, the mission had been dangerous, life threatening. This was the consequence, you supposed.   
  
All you could see was darkness, and nothing else. But you felt it- your slow heartbeat. It was still there, and you couldn't tell whether or not it was fading, or coming back. Your vision flashed; and you were there, floating on top of a lake, the debris of the fallen city plummeting into the calm surface around you, yet it never crushed you. You were already dead, why would Sokovia want to try and kill more of you?   
  
You were dead.   
  
You were dead?   
  
Wait. You had been falling, the air ripped from your lungs so violently that you could have sworn you felt one burst inside of you. The pressure from the air on your body, the heat coming from below you; it shot through you like a thousand bullets. And then your throat closed up, and all you could see was black.

You continued to grace the skies with your elegant fall, your ears still being able to hear the noises around you. Comatose; that was the word. Not alive, but not ceasing to exist.

Is that what you’d be if you survived the fall?

Don’t be fucking stupid. This would kill you. You were already half dead. Soon there would be nothing left of you, but the memory of something great. Or simply the memory of something that could have been great; you hadn’t made it yet.

It was funny, but you thought of your job, your manager, your work friends. They’d kept mentioning your 21st birthday recently, despite it being almost three years away. “You may be a Brit but you haven’t experienced that whole Brit teenage lifestyle, you know? Your alcohol tolerance must be complete shit.” You and Kate were closing up one night and Jared, the manager, was locking up the Genius Bar.

“Debs and Jason are very open with alcohol. As is May with Peter,” You smiled as you checked the security cables on the iPhone 7 table. “Besides, I look over 21. I wanna bet I’d be served in some stingy bar. Maybe I wouldn’t even have to buy my own drink,” You laughed and grinned cheekily at Kate. Jared chuckled from the bar, and came towards the two of you.

“You wouldn’t have to buy your own drink, ‘cause if you even managed to _get in_ to a bar I would buy you one.” His curls fell in front of his eyes, and he blew them out of his face. It’s crazy to think that two months at a place like Apple would gain you some really great friends. You were the youngest member of staff, and in some ways people were protective; they were caring, they looked after you. But they also were all aware of your odd relationship with Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts and even Spider-Man, thanks to all of them coming to the shop to see you. You were still a pretty closed book around them all about your life.

The thought of work disappeared and was replaced immediately with another- you would never see them again, any of them, ever.

You would never see May, and giggle with her about girl stuff.

You would never go to Cornell, or become a surgeon.

You would never taste Debs’ cooking again, or hug Jason on the couch while you watched a superhero movie.

You would never grow up, and turn 21 in America.

You would never kiss Peter again.

Your heart- it would cease to beat. Your body- it would decay and wither away below the earth that you could once control with your bare hands.

Was this truly the end? Were you going to die in this moment?

You gasped, and the air re-entered your lungs like a hot air balloon, burning your insides and awakening your body. Your eyes shot open, and you were still a cloud, falling through the sky, approaching the inevitable. You looked at the view- the view you’d seen before you blacked out, but this time your mind was focused on something else. Something crucial.

"I don't want to die." 

Those five words snapped you back, and suddenly you felt the air shift around you, but you weren’t controlling it. Above you, a rainbow flashed, blinding you, and then you were encased in it. It was pure energy, pure energy in a thousand colours all around you, lifting your body up to another place.

You couldn’t open your eyes, afraid of the light, but also accepting it. Not fighting against it. Whatever it was. It felt calm, despite how magnificent and large the spotlight had appeared. It felt good. It felt safe.

After a matter of seconds you were spat out from the spotlight and thrown to the floor, your body smacking the surface and immediately wanting to pass out again. You didn’t, though, but just stayed lying there as you regained your breath and sucked air painfully into your dry lungs. Wherever you were, you were alive. Definitely. And that was all that mattered in the end; living. Your eyes threatened to well up, but you literally didn’t have the energy to cry. The floor beneath you felt cool and soothing, and when your eyes traced over it, it glowed as if crystals were shining deep beneath the surface, casting rainbow colours all round you.

“Heimdall, did you get her-,” That voice. You knew that voice all too well, even if it was flustered and panicked. Thor stopped when he saw you, and then his legs clicked into action, striding with speed over to where you lay and picking you up like a child. Your body was slumped and your limbs hung low, your muscles having shut down.

“Hey, you.” You managed to croak out, and the God looked down at you in his arms with kind and overly relieved eyes. Sweat brimmed his forehead and his cheeks were flushed.

“We caught you.” That was all he said for the next hour, as he took you further into wherever the hell you were; you’d shut your eyes, not caring in the slightest about your surroundings, but savouring your beating heart after falling with Sokovia. You were alive. They’d remembered you, they’d come back for you, they’d saved you. And you knew that you would be forever thankful.

-

You slept dreamlessly for several hours, and when you woke you were tucked up in a bed. The room around you resembled those of Stark Towers, and a few more glances around confirmed that you were there. Suit still donned, you got up slowly, your fragile bones clicking uncomfortably in their sockets, and made your way out of the door, headed for the common area.

How had you managed to land here in Stark Towers?

“Without her, we would have failed.” Stark spoke, just as you rounded the corner. Rubbing your eyes, you looked at them all- the Avengers sat in their ‘ivory tower’ that the rest of civilisation could only imagine. It was all bullshit. Their faces; the faces that stared at you so intently; they were all human. They all felt, they all had feelings of their own. And right now, relief was etched all over the canvas of them.

Debs shot up from the chair opposite Stark, and you stared at her wide-eyed, your heart thumping incessantly in your chest. And then the tears came; along came Debs. You encased yourself in her grasp as you cried out silently, the tears cascading down your blank face in a scary sort of way. You didn’t even sob; it was as if you were feeling so much that you weren’t feeling anything at all. “Come on, sweetie. Sit down.” You followed her over to the couch, and immediately saw Peter sat down, his elbows on his knees.

Him looking at you only made you cry more, and you took the seat next to him as he wrapped you in a blanket lovingly, his face emotionless, except for the small hint of a smile on the side of his mouth. You took in a shaky breath, and smiled at the family around you. You needed answers, though; why had Sokovia fallen if Ultron had been defeated? What had saved you? Where had you gone? How long had you been asleep?

“Can you start from the beginning, please, Tony.” And Iron Man began, taking in a deep breath.

“Ultron still had one bug alive, that’s what we guessed. That buggie hit the core and it came plummeting down,” He paused, and everyone patiently waited for him to continue, though you knew what he was going to do. He was going to apologise for not looking after you; and you didn’t want him to. “Look, (Y/N)-,”

“You wouldn’t have known. This was out of your control. If anything, I was stupid for going after Wanda.” You hit her gaze with yours, and she looked broken, completely. But she looked thankful, she looked like she appreciated your gesture, she looked _sorry_. “Wanda,” You began, your voice cracking at the image of Pietro coming into your mind; bleeding out on the floor.

“I know.” She whispered, and that told you she knew you were upset about it, upset about her having lost her brother. Silence crept back, and Tony took that as his cue.

“So, yeah, falling city. Missing team members. Panic.” Typical Tony, with his one word descriptions. “Vision went and found Wanda, but didn’t make it back in time to find you before the city exploded.” You nodded, trying to push the sick feeling in your stomach away. The same feeling you’d felt when you’d been falling. “Seems you have some friends in high places though,” Tony pointed to Thor, who sat in his lounging clothes and gave you a royal smile. “The Bifrost was opened, and you went on a small fieldtrip to Asgard.”

“I landed in _Asgard_?” You wiped away some of the stray tears on your cheeks and replaced them with a chuffed smile. Jesus, you’d gone to a land of Gods, of magick, of other incredible things.

“Sorry, ah,” Jason chimed in, sitting next to Debs timidly and in awe of the Avengers. “What’s Asgard?” Thor leant forward, his eyebrows perking up.

“A land so beautiful that you would fall to your knees if you ever saw it. My home.” You could have sworn you saw Jason’s eye twitch as he tried so hard to compute all the information being bombarded at him. In the end, he slumped back down onto the sofa, giving up trying to make sense of it all and simply accepting it as truth. The easiest option for him, you thought.

“Needless to say, you weren’t in the best shape, but Jesus, (Y/N), you took a damn beating and were still OK despite it all,” Tony scoffed, and Peter swallowed uncomfortably as his eyes traced the bruises all over your collarbone and face. “You had a rest and while you were totally wiped out, Thor brought you back here.”

“Safe and sound.” You muttered under your breath, as you took in Stark’s words. The brink of death; that’s where you had been. The edge of the world, totally and utterly out of control. Your heart fell into your stomach as the severity of it all sunk in, finally. While it had been happening, you hadn’t been freaking out; you’d almost accepted the inevitable. And then you’d come back. That was when Heimdall had opened the Bifrost; after you’d woken up once more.

Thor coughed, and you turned towards him quickly, as did everyone else. He shuffled on his seat, and looked as if what he was about to say would either be entirely stupid, or entirely life-changing. “There is a being of Asgard, (Y/N), who spoke highly of you while you rested in the palace.” The God began, and you furrowed your brows in curiosity. “The news spread that you had arrived; nothing is secret there, for the sake of the people. But, my father’s right-hand man, Ander,” Thor slowed, treading around his words carefully. “It was as if he knew you.” You racked your brain and tried to think of any reason why an Asgardian native would know you, but you came up with nothing. You stuck out your bottom lip in thought and shook your head slowly.

“That’s intriguing. That was definitely my first visit to Asgard, Thor. I would have remembered it if I’d been before.” Peter grabbed your hand in his gently, swirling his fingers over your palm and sending shivers down your spine. “Thank you, all of you,” You began, crossing your legs on the couch. “For everything, for welcoming me, for being kind, for caring for me.” Thor nodded at you in response, the rest of the team smiled; Steve even blushed slightly. “But, I don’t think I’m ready for the world to know who I am just yet.”

You thought back to when your face had been all over Channel 5; some people had recognised you in Times Square that night, but other than that you were still someone that everyone considered normal, a person going about her daily life, no one of importance. You didn’t think you needed people to know who you were to take pleasure out of saving them; you didn’t want to be seen like Steve, or Tony, or the others. You were just happy to help.

“I think we can come to some kind of arrangement.” Tony smiled so brightly, and you reciprocated, tracing your own hand up your arm and tracing over your bullet wound. “In our eyes, you’re an Avenger. But to them, you’re you.”

“I feel like Hannah Montana.”

-

The last thing you’d told the Avengers before leaving was simple; “Don’t get up to trouble, OK?” A light-hearted chuckle had flown around the group, even extending as far as Wanda. You smiled at her once more, and she nodded in reply. You two were OK.

“Hey, you studying?” You held your phone between your shoulder and cheek, stirring a pot of pasta on the stove. Peter sighed on the other end of the line.

“Nah, I have a reading week so I’m taking a break for a day or two. It’s been, ah, pretty full on this month, but really interesting.” You popped the lid onto the pad and leant against the kitchen counter.

“Cornell was always the place you wanted to go to,” You bit your lip.

“It was always the place you wanted to go to, as well, (Y/N).” Over the past few weeks after Peter went off to college, you’d started working full time at the Apple store. Your interest in being a surgeon had practically disappeared, and besides, you loved New York City, and you liked the store. After the Avengers, Debs and Jason didn’t press you on university; they wanted the best for you. Having a break was what felt like the right thing to do.

You breathed down the phone, sliding down the kitchen cupboards to the floor. “Things got a bit jumbled up.” Stating the obvious; again. “How’s Spider-Man holding up around the campus, hm?” You hummed down the phone as a small giggle escaped your lips.

“Spider-Man is doing just fine,” Peter chuckled, and you heard the distinctive noise of him shooting a web. “He misses New York City, and Queens, a lot. The Deli, too. But yeah, so far people are pretty happy to have him. Though I think they’ve all guessed I go to Cornell,”

“Pfft, like that wasn’t going to happen.”

“I know, I know. I don’t think anyone could guess it’s me just from me attending this college, but you know, it lowers the options.” He sounded anxious for some reason. You’d never guessed Peter would be scared of the public eye, but hearing him talk like this made you think that maybe he was.

“Don’t worry about it, Peter. Really.” You smiled and hoped he somehow could accept it. “Made any good friends from your course yet?”

“Oh, yeah, a fair few. Next time you come visit I’ll introduce you.” There was some silence. Last time you’d visited it hadn’t gone terribly, but it had felt odd. You were so happy for Peter, truly, and he was well on his way towards progressing into the science industry. It was something about things changing; Peter didn’t live six blocks away anymore, he lived two hours away on the C train with a bus change when it terminated; there had already been four Fridays where you guys hadn’t got sandwiches together at Mr Delmoor’s. You never expected to reject change; you’d chosen to uproot yourself and go to America, that had been all you. But this felt different. Four years doing the same routine, then suddenly the Avengers get involved, something that people would kill for; and you turn into a hermit crab.

Would you ever get out of this cycle?

Hm.

Weeks turned into months, and at the sixth month mark of Peter leaving for college he came home to see everyone. Your family, him and May all went to get Chinese, reunited. You had no idea what you and Peter were anymore; but you knew he was still your best friend. If anything, you were almost back to normal. This is exactly the reason why you guys hadn’t labelled anything.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal, Peter, but a certain someone turns nineteen in a few weeks,” Debs pulled out a small wrapped box and placed it in front of Peter. You smiled brightly and placed your hand on his shoulder. Timidly and with thankful eyes, he popped open the box and his face lit up at what was inside. He pulled it out slowly, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. “A... key? For what?”

Debs and Jason looked around the table in excited silence, but your heart dropped. What was that a key for? You didn’t know they’d planned this at all. Jason pulled an identical key from his pocket and handed it to you, his eyes bright. “W-what’s this?” You held the key in your hand, the cold metal almost piercing through your skin.

They looked at each other, and Jason nodded. Debs practically exploded. “OK, OK, OK! So, Jason and I- we bought a house in Brooklyn!” Your heart fell out of your body and flopped to the floor, where it stayed; the arteries pouring blood out like a cracked dam. You sat wide-eyed, your mouth frozen in an upturned grin, but your eyebrows as low as they could be with a mixture of hurt, of pain, of fear.

“That’s- amazing!” Peter got up politely and hugged both of them. You stayed sat in your spot, and Peter caught your eye before looking down as he took his seat again. May slowly coiled her hand around yours beneath the table.

“Well, the bakery is booming right now, and Jason is working on some big cases because of his promotion, so, we felt like now would be the perfect time to find somewhere to really call our own, for the rest of our lives. With (Y/N) in a full-time job she can have the apartment and expenses all paid for the next year that we have it leased, and by then she’ll have enough dough to, well, live by herself,” You almost scoffed, but instead stayed put. Debs turned towards you, her face so bright and full of excitement. You were the polar opposite. “Hunny, we felt you needed some space, what with you being an adult now. You get your own space and your own freedom! Woo!” Debs placed a hand on your shoulder and you saw her face in your side vision. It had dropped, so had Jason’s.

They were moving out. They were, what, leaving you? You had no problem with paying for your own things; you were eighteen, you didn’t need to live off of them anymore and also you didn’t want to; they had put you up for so many years. But, moving?

Moving out.

And not. Fucking. Telling. You.

Did they really think this was a good idea? Telling you in public? Everything was changing. Peter had moved on, and he had a bunch of new friends and probably girls pining over him everywhere he fucking went. You two weren’t an item, you knew that, but Jesus, you were jealous. You missed him. So much.

Yet you wouldn’t allow yourself to say it. It made you think you seemed needy, wimpy, childish. Those feelings would be much better repressed deep down. You visited May often, so that was fine. Debs and Jason were the same as ever, though it had felt like they’d been distant lately. They’d been sneaking around looking for this house behind your back. They literally worked to hide it from you. How could they do that?

Your brain wrapped around the wave of negativity that had entered the room, and you couldn’t help it. You snapped. In two. “Are you fucking kidding me?” You spoke, almost laughing. You clutched the key so tightly in your hand that it felt like it would pierce your skin. “Are you fucking serious?” You found yourself rising up from your chair. The four of them all tried to hush you, the embarrassment spreading all over their faces. May looked awkwardly around the room at the other restaurant goers, mouthing ‘sorry’ over and over. But you were fuming, there would be no stopping that right now.

“(Y/N), sit down.” Debs muttered, sternly, her eyebrows furrowed in anger. You reciprocated her stance and expression. They couldn’t possibly have thought this would be a good idea? Fucking hell. You scoffed and rolled your eyes, throwing the key down onto the table with a loud clang. Debs flinched, and fell back into her seat.

“How could you do this?” You whispered, your eyes welling with tears. Peter looked at you suddenly, knowing that you were about to grab your jacket and leave. He reached out to grab your wrist that was heading for the back of your chair, and he caught it.

“(Y/N), please-,”

You immediately pulled away, the tears falling down your face. Ugly. Pathetic. As the restaurant door swung shut, you wiped at your face and began fast walking to anywhere. Anywhere that wasn’t there. Your feet lead you to Times Square without hesitation, and you sat on one of the red steps, your head in your hands.

They hadn’t even asked you, told you, that they were planning this. It was wonderful, that they’d found somewhere they wanted to be for the rest of their lives. You’d missed out on the house hunting, the excitement of the discussions that they’d obviously had about wanting to fully settle down, to have a family of their own, not just a kid that lived with them. Debs had called herself your mum.

Perhaps there was a curse in the name; your mother’s always eventually left you.

You glanced up at the screens of the square, remembering your first visit over four years ago. You and Debs had gone together, and you’d got ten seconds on the kiss cam. Gently, she’d picked up your hand in hers and put it to her lips. You’d chuckled so hard, the blush creeping to your cheeks. That’s when you knew that she was amazing, that she was a marvel. In front of you now, the kiss cam showed a couple, kissing passionately and smiling in between breaths. A blond man ran his hand through his partners hair, and the brunette man hugged the blond one so tightly that it made your stomach jump. You gulped, averting your gaze.

You didn’t have time to mourn on the short relationship you and Peter had had, because the news flashed boldly on the largest screen, showing scenes of an explosion that hit a building in Lagos. The heading: _Explosion in Lagos, 11 confirmed dead – Are the Avengers to blame?_

Holy shit.

Right on cue, your phone buzzed in your hand, and the name of Tony Stark flashed in bold letters over the screen. You pocketed the device and hung up, scanning the area quickly as the anxiety filled you for no reason. Eight months. Eight months since Sokovia. Another casualty. The world had been doing so well.

You exhaled, and got up, willing your body to move towards the place that you had woken up in after falling with Sokovia. “I’m retired.” You’d heard Clint say, at least three times now. Yet, he was always there, in Stark Towers, with the Avengers, shooting another arrow through another world destroying creature.

“You’ll never be retired, Clint. You’re too addicted.” You’d chuckled.

“Ah, yeah. Guess that means you’re well on the way to being addicted, as well.” At the time, you’d shrugged, not having been on a proper mission yet. In the present, as you stepped into a cab, it was official.

You were falling deep into the Avengers cave.

It was all only just beginning.  


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye unlucky number 13!!! it adds up rly cause I think this chapter fucking sukcsssss ok, so I'm sorry. 
> 
> some gd news tho, I've been wanting to write about civil war since it came out, so I think the next five or so chapters are gonna be god damn dandy - i've literally had this story in my head for months lmao, I'm so excited to keep writing it. 
> 
> in other news - HOLY SHITTTTT!!! I got over 100 kudos and am literally 50 hits away from 2k!!! Like what the actual???? fuck???? I haven't even been writing this fic for a month ok (tho the monthiversary is fast approaching (the 11th)) 
> 
> so I'm sorry for this rly quite bad chapter, I hope u will forgive me. still hope u enjoy tho, lol

Everyone goes through a time in life when everything just snaps. 

This was your time, and it came with no instructions or disclaimers. 

You stood silently in the elevator of Stark Towers and watched as the floor numbers changed every three seconds. You were running back to the Avengers again, despite everything. Perhaps you were starting to realise that it’s not about the public viewing you, or the world knowing your name. It’s about family; it’s about the people. 

Family. Huh. That word appeared warped in your mind now. Who was your family now? Your mum and dad had fucked off for good. Your foster parents had secretly moved themselves out of the home you all shared. Right now your only family seemed to be the superheroes all sat around Stark’s massive leather sofa; and maybe that was a good thing. 

“(Y/N)-,” 

You sat down and put your hand up to Steve, who quickly quietened down. You were in the mood to be stern and really didn’t want anyone to speak over anything. Yeah, you were just generally pissed at the world. “Looking at all your faces literally tells me everything I need to know; it’s bad.” Steve looked down at the floor while Clint stared dazed out of the window. The mission had obviously taken a turn for the worst.

The harsh reality was that mistakes happened, yet people always needed someone to blame. That person this time round was Wanda Maximoff. “Where is she?” You spoke, after the silence became almost unbearable. 

“At the Upstate facility. We’re in the process of moving everyone up there.” Tony said, unusually quietly. He hadn’t been on the mission; he’d been giving university talks about the newest programme to hit Stark Industries. You clapped your hands against your thighs and stood up, looking at the Avengers that surrounded you.

“Right- I’m going back home to pack a bag,” You scooted out of the main living area and Stark got up, following behind you with eyebrows furrowed. 

“Er, why? Wanna tell us what that brain of yours is actually thinking up because funnily enough the only person who could read your mind isn’t actually here.” You heard Clint chuckle from the couch; it sounded almost forced. You reached the elevator and clicked the button, then turned back to Tony blank faced. 

“I’m moving in with you guys for a while.” Literally all of them stood up then, walking round slowly to join Tony in staring at you with furrowed brows. It was almost like they’d choreographed it. The elevator arrived and you stepped inside, locking eyes with Steve. He crossed his arms. 

“What happened, (Y/N).” It wasn’t a question; it was a demand. You smiled sarcastically at the Captain, staying silent. The elevator doors dinged shut dully, and you sighed, leaning onto the wall with a thud, knocking the air out of your own lungs. You looked towards the ceiling, tracing the outline of the metal of the elevator. “I miss you, Jarvis.” You whispered. But the AI didn’t answer. He never would now. 

As you walked into the cold air of New York, you got massive déjà vu from the time Tony and you had had a fight. This time, you weren’t sad, though. You felt oddly powerful. 

Power in the hands of good people could be dangerous.

Power in the hands of bad people could be catastrophic. 

You didn’t know if you were good or bad anymore. 

-

The apartment was quiet when you arrived home, not deliberately trying to sneak around but also trying to be respectful to Debs and Jason as they slept. 

Though of course, they weren't sleeping. 

Debbie sat in the sofa with her nails in her mouth, biting incessantly and not stopping until the door to the apartment clicked shut. She got up from the couch, her nightgown donned, and immediately her face showed her disappointment, her frustration, her anger at you. 

You reciprocated those feelings towards her and Jason, and stared at her as she stood in front of you for a few seconds. Blank faced, you walked to your room and began packing a bag as fast as you could. You couldn't stay here, you wouldn't stay here, not when they were on the brink of moving out and hadn't thought of fucking telling you at all. 

You heard murmurs coming from their room, and the heat on your face grew ever more warm. You packed your phone charger, your favourite clothes, the suit that Tony had made for you, then slung your bag on your back and faced the door. Your door. The door you'd woken up to every morning for the past four years, having been opened by Debbie to bring you a cup of tea or a glass of orange juice. 

Everything had gone to shit recently, it was official. After Sokovia, everything had turned around. You'd lost Peter, you'd lost your motivation for school, and now you'd lost the only two people in your life who'd properly, utterly, cared for you. Fuck your parents; your real parents. You needed a time out from the world for a while, and you got that when you were with the Avengers. Everything felt like a dream when you were with them; that's what you wanted, needed, right now.

Besides, they wanted you.

Debbie and Jason, evidently, didn't. 

You breathed in deeply, and headed straight for the living room, planning on leaving without saying a word. But obviously, Debbie wouldn't allow that at all. 

"(Y/N) (L/N), where the hell do you think you're going?" Her hands were on her hips and her face was fuming, fully in contrast with her bright blonde hair. Jason stood behind her in the darkness of their bedroom, but you could see he was more upset than mad at the situation. 

"Felt we could all use a break from each other for an indefinite amount of time, don't you agree?" You said it meanly, and you saw the pain in Debbie's face as the words left your mouth. This was the first proper fight you'd all had. And it hadn't been heavily anticipated. Debbie huffed, turning to Jason and then back to you, speechless. 

You stared her down, a hurt frown stamped all over your face. The worst part of it all, of this whole fight, was that you wanted them to feel pain, you wanted them to feel bad for what they'd done to you. You wanted Peter to come home, to work locally, to be with you properly.

Nothing was the same anymore. 

"If you ever feel like having a chat, I'm sure you can reach me through Tony Stark's PA." With that, you left the apartment, the door slamming loudly and then rippling through the air like an explosion. Then silence. 

It was the kind of silence that was only broken by your footsteps going down the concrete steps of the apartment building. The kind of silence that stuck in your ears and made everything feel as if it were getting smaller around you, like the walls were moving and getting closer and closer and closer to you. 

Even when you were outside in the calm Queens air at night, you didn't feel any better. You shuffled your jacket hood up over your head and adjusted your bag on your back, headed for the subway, headed for the Upstate facility of the Avengers. 

You were an Avenger. Tony had said so himself. 

So why did you still feel like you weren't? 

- 

Your phone had been ringing off the hook ever since you got on the subway, so you turned it off. You’d made up your mind, you were moving in with the Avengers for a while, at least when you figured out what to do with your life. Would you go to college? Would you take up Jason and Debs’ offer of having the apartment? Or would you truly become an Avenger? On top of all these things racing around your mind, Peter sat amongst everything, too.

You found yourself shoving your feelings deep inside of you once more, just like you’d done at his seventeenth. That was the easiest way to cope with him being gone, your relationship having fizzled after he left. You loved him a lot, and always would, despite the fights, despite the distance. You’d always have a space in your heart for that stupid Spider-Dork. 

But you didn’t know whether he would think of you that way, anymore. He was moving on. 

You gulped as the subway stopped at the end of the line and came to a stop. It was around 10pm, and there Happy sat in the black car he always drove, sunglasses donned despite it being night time. The car ride was dull and only forced you into dwelling on everything even more. You felt so sick, but claimed it must have just been motion sickness. And then, you were there. You couldn’t believe your eyes at what loomed in front of you;

The facility was lit up in the darkness, and was a pristine white from head to toe. Planes surrounded the airfield on the way up the drive, and you saw five of Tony’s cars all lined up in the garage. The windows glinted in the low light, and you almost gasped as the big A logo came into view. 

A for Avenger. A for Amazing. 

It was a damn sight to behold, and you were gonna be living here. Holy shit. Happy dropped you at the back entrance, and you shuffled out of the car, your eyes still plastered on the building, soaking up the architecture. Steve stepped out of the door, a thoughtful smile on his face. Peter; he’d undoubtedly had told them what the hell was going on with you. You greeted the Captain and he gave you a much needed hug, before leading you inside. 

“OK, so your room is next to Wanda’s.” Steve lead you down a corridor and opened a door to the left. Your room. Your new room. It was completely blank, with plain walls and a mundane bed, dresser, wardrobe and bedside table. You wished you’d packed more things to put up on the walls and make the room seem less, well, prison like. Maybe you’d head back home and get some more stuff when you knew Debs and Jason would be living in the new Brooklyn house. You plopped your bag down on the bed and took off your jacket, draping it over your pillow, before following Steve back out. 

The Captain knocked two times on the next door over, and the timid voice of Wanda muttered a “Come in.” The two of you entered slowly, and Steve moved aside so Wanda could see you’d arrived. “(Y/N),” Wanda got up suddenly from her bed, and you could see she was utterly broken; she’d been crying. You furrowed your brows, and without hesitation lunged towards her in an embrace. She coiled her small, powerful arms around you and squeezed. 

“It wasn’t your fault, Wanda. Mistakes happen. You were doing what was right.” She retracted herself from you, and looked you in the face blankly, saying nothing. She blinked once, before sitting down on her bed again. You took that as a cue to leave. 

Steve had already gone, and you found him with Sam and a few others in the kitchen area. The inside of this facility was so similar to Stark Towers, but was almost more hotel like. It seemed so much more fancy. “Hey, runaway,” Stark said, sipping on a scotch. You stared at him blankly, and sat on one of the lounging chairs that faced the breakfast bar.

“Can I avoid having one of your typical ‘Tony lectures’ right now? I’d really appreciate it.” He placed his glass on the counter and sighed. “I wanna bet everyone has had enough lectures today, am I right?” You added in a sarcastic mutter, and Nat laughed to herself. 

“You could say that again,” Nat looked at Tony quizzically, and he downed the rest of his scotch in one go, almost throwing the glass in the sink with frustration. You looked around the room at all their faces; Barton, Sam, Steve;

Thor had gone home on Asgard business;

But there was no Banner. 

You’d been trying to repress the feelings you had surrounding Banner leaving after Sokovia. The whole world saw the Hulk in person, and he left as the battle came to close; as you were falling. No one knew where he was anymore, they couldn’t track the plane he’d taken. Fury joked that he’d probably gone to Fiji, but wherever he was, you missed him beyond belief. You knew Widow did, too. 

Everyone looked like they’d been badly told off, like they were kids in detention for kicking over a chair in math class. “Am I missing something here?” You asked, looking at the furrowed faces that surrounded you. 

“We had a call today, seems the Secretary of State is paying a visit tomorrow.” Sam chimed in, and your face dropped. This was serious. Really serious. 

“Shit,” You uttered. 

“Shit.” Barton repeated. The room fell heavy with silence. 

-

You lay in bed that night with your earphones in, mellow music playing in an effort to somehow get you to fall asleep. The bed felt different, and despite the layout of the room being practically the same, you knew there would be no Debbie poking her head around the door in the morning, whispering a “Morning, sweetie,” and handing you a piping hot cup of tea. There would be no impromptu visits from Peter, which had happened a whole lot. You reminisced about one time, a month after your eighteenth.

It was the afternoon, and there you were, still in bed, fully clothed. You’d lost count at about the tenth glass of wine the night before, and now you were paying the price. Your work colleagues were right; you’d lost your British drinking ability. The next thing you knew, Peter’s jumped directly on top of you, his body hitting yours and pushing the air out of your lungs with a groan. “Ugh, no, not you. Anyone but you,” You grumbled into your pillow, and the refreshing sound of Peter’s laugh trickled into your ears, filling you with a warm feeling. 

“Did someone have a bit too much last night?” He got his face in real close to yours, his body lying next to yours. You shoved your hand into his face and pushed him against the wall; you could feel his breath on your palm, his laugh coming out in school-boy bursts. “You’re not happy to see me?” He asked over-dramatically, obviously knowing that the answer was yes. He shoved your hand away but kept hold of it. 

You gave in, and turned your face towards him, knowing that you probably looked like some troll who lived under a bridge and terrorised the passers-by. “Did you bring food?” You said through a squished, hot face. Peter got up playfully and you heard the pitter-patter of his bare feet against the wood flooring. He came back and sat on the end of the bed enthusiastically, a plate full of fresh pancakes in his hands and two forks. 

You smiled, muttering a babyish “Yay.” You breathed in deeply, stretching your body over the entire surface of the bed; and that was when your leg decided to whack Peter directly in the face. He groaned, and the distinct sound of a plateful of pancakes hitting the floor filled the room, as well as a disgruntled Peter Parker. You shot up, ignoring your hungover dizziness and immediately going to Peter’s aid. “Oh my god,” You cupped his face as the laughter spread through your entire body. Peter clutched his chin where your leg had hit him, and a snort escaped your lips, making the chuckling completely contagious.

You and Peter had laughed all afternoon, the giggly feeling never leaving your bodies, especially when Peter had ordered you to clean up the pancakes off the floor. 

Your eyes shot open, and you felt wetness on your cheeks; tears had managed to escape. The room was dark, and your music was still playing. You glanced at the clock; it was almost 3am. God, today the Secretary of State would be here, today you were all going to be grilled, probably. You thought about what he would say to you, someone he’s never seen records of, someone he’d never even known was part of the family. It scared you a bit; how he would judge you, view you. 

Through the sound of your earphones, your door had creaked open, and shrouded in the darkness was the silhouette of Wanda. “Wanda?” You sat up in bed, taking out your earbuds and placing them on your bedside table. She shut the door slowly, clicking it shut, before standing awkwardly on the other side of the room. You switched your lamp on.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” She fiddled with her long hair, her face the pure imitation of a child in need. 

“It’s OK, I was already up.” After a few seconds, you gestured for her to sit down, and she strode over quickly and wrapped herself up in half of your duvet. It was clear that she needed someone right now; she didn’t have her mother or father, her brother. Her face was contorted in conflict, as if she were afraid to talk to you, but also dying to speak. You placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Wanda-,”

Her arms wrapped around you so suddenly that you didn’t even have time to take a breath. You felt the convulsions of her body beneath yours, the smalls sobs echoing from her lips and around your skull. She was a child, so were you. Everyone needed to stick together, but right now Wanda was stuck in the middle of the road, constantly being reassured by the Avengers but slated by the media, the world. “I am sorry for this, it’s so unprofessional,” She pulled her body off of yours, and wiped her face frantically, looking somewhat ashamed and embarrassed. 

You laughed, and surprisingly, the tears fell from your eyes and cascaded down your face smoothly, landing in a small puddle on your mattress. Wanda’s eyes met yours, and the two of you sat in the small lamp light, crying silently while smiling with each other. “At this time, I think being unprofessional is what all of us need.” 

The whispered giggles of two Avengers flooded under the door and flew into the 3am air; the world welcomed it, savouring the way of the Avengers right in the now.

The sunrise usually symbolised light, happiness, a new beginning. But you knew that this next sunrise would hold the exact opposite; it would hold something else entirely. 

Something that would change everything.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!! so guys, I go off to college tomorrow. I'll try and keep up with this story and I think I will, I fucking love writing it so I'm gonna continue until it truly gets boring to me. 
> 
> obvs, this is where civil war truly starts, so again with the more simplistic time lines (minus the fact that Peter has already been discovered by stark and the avengers lol). I really hope these next few chapters r gonna be tear jerking as hell, I love writing about inner emotions and I think I'm improving on writing about thrilling action too, aye.
> 
> anyway enjoy this!!! and thank you so much for 2k hits!! honestly I appreciate it so much. don't hesitate to comment be criticism or have a full blown convo with me about marvel as a whole, I love to reply to you all.

The next morning was heavily rushed. You got up and changed into casual clothing. You had a quiet breakfast, surrounded by the shallow breathing of the other Avengers who sat around the table, reading newspapers or fiddling with their thumbs; Wanda sat doing nothing. There was no set time for when the Secretary of State would show up, so it was a waiting game for you all, and none of you were enjoying it.

Your ears perked up at the sound of a car door slamming echoed from outside the building, and immediately everyone stirred. Wanda shut her eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply. Steve placed his hand on her shoulder and she flinched slightly.

The dull footsteps rang throughout the building as the secretary approached, sending jolts throughout your body with every smack of his shoes on the floor. A large screen had been set up in front of the Avengers conference table, and everyone sat in their usual seats as the secretary rounded the corner. His face came into view, and he was a tall white man with a grey moustache above his lip. He strode with confidence, with power, and immediately both Tony and Steve stood up to greet him. With the simple wave of his hand that was it, and the two godlike men sat down in their seats once more.

You gulped, and the secretary slandered over to the screen, pacing back and forth a few times and catching your eye once for a few seconds, his eyebrows furrowing momentarily. He huffed, and smacked his hands together, ready to address everyone. “Five years ago, I had a heart attack, and dropped right in the middle of my back swing,” He mimed himself playing golf, a smile on his face as if he were happy about something. It sent a shiver down you, seeing him so chipper in this situation.

He deposited his hands on the table, stretching his fingers back as he leaned down, closer to everyone’s faces. “Turns out it was the best round of my life because after the thirteen hours of surgery and a triple bypass, I found something that forty years in the army never taught me;

“Perspective.” His face changed suddenly, and his eyes shone with thoughtfulness. He looked at each Avenger in turn, stopping at you as you sat at the back of the table, his eyes trying to identify who you were. “The world owes the Avengers an unpayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives. But while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some, who would prefer the word vigilantes.”

“And what word would you use, Mr Secretary?” Nat chimed in, her voice piercing yet sweet.

“How ‘bout dangerous.” Tony bowed his head. “What would you call a group of US based, enhanced individuals, who routinely ignore sovereign borders, who inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly,” He paused, taking a short breath. “Seem unconcerned about what they leave behind.”

You tusked under your breath, his words seeping in and making the rage bubble up beneath the surface. The job was hard; it couldn’t be put in any other simple definition besides ‘save people’. That’s what you all tried to achieve with every mission you took on, and if he thought you weren’t concerned about what you left behind, he obviously didn’t think any of you had a heart.

Mr Secretary strolled over to the side of the screen, scratching his beard before placing his hands behind his back. The screen lit up, and on it a map appeared with many labels standing out.

In front of your eyes, the screen zoomed in quickly, replaying news footage, photos, amateur videos;

“New York.”

The chitauri, the destruction of the city that you’d seen so many times growing up, that you’d learnt about in history class, that you’d cried in fear over with Peter. The screams of the people were what stuck out the most.

“Washington DC.”

S.H.I.E.L.D’s old airship crashing, the explosions spreading out across the entire city, buildings flattened to the ground. But still, the screams rang out loud and clear.

“Sokovia.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you saw the various footage from almost a year ago. There it was, the floating city. Then it was falling. Your eyes refused to blink as you scanned the footage, trying to find any sign that you had been collapsing alongside the city; and then there you were, not even a speck of dust, the faint outline of someone helpless hovering above the city. You couldn’t stop your eyes welling with tears as you watched the scene over and over again, crawling back into your mind and sticking there once more.

You were on the brink of death.

The secretary glanced at you as you let the tears roll strongly down your face, not saying a word.

“Lagos.”

Police and ambulance sirens penetrated into your mind. It was all too much to bare. Wanda looked at the scene with wide, child-like eyes, but was like you; she didn’t want to see any more of it. She swivelled in her chair and faced down, her eyes tracing over the indents in the wood of the table. Steve looked over to her with steely eyes, and placed his arm down on the table suddenly. “That’s enough.”

The secretary agreed, and the screen shut off. He looked from Wanda and then to you, the tears still rolling generously down your face. He tucked his hand in his inside pocket and retrieved a white hankie, walking slowly round to where you sat on the table, placing the cloth down to the right of you. “I’m guessing you came in during Sokovia.” He addressed you, walking back to his place at the head of the table. You stared at him, your tears settling. Steve answered for you.

“(Y/N) was a big help to us when Ultron attacked,” He sighed and looked down. “Even sometimes we need extra help in the field.” He muttered.

“Extra help in the field while trying to destroy something that one of your own created.” Tony sat as still as he could, his eyes glued to the ground. Everyone looked around uncomfortably. “And from a teenager.” He added, and his face contorted into something disgusting. Your rage bubbled over.

“With all due respect, Sir, just because I haven’t had forty years of experience fighting in the US Army doesn’t mean I’m any less willing or capable of fighting for this world.” The corner of Natasha’s mouth curled into a smile, and you looked at your supposed superior, your tears completely dry.

“For the past four years you’ve operated with unlimited power and no supervision,” the secretary continued, as if you hadn’t even spoken to him. “That’s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate.”

At this point, your hearing cut out. All that rang through your mind was the incessant thumping of your heartbeat and the constant image of how the world would be without the Avengers. The last thing you remembered from the conversation was the secretary’s form of an agreement- “Compromise.”

The Sokovia Accords sat in front of you, piercing into your skin. The agreement had been signed by 117 countries, entailing that the Avengers would no longer act as a private organisation, but alongside the government. That meant they needed approval to go on missions, to save the world. But, the world would see them as a safer organisation; not vigilantes, but controllable weapons. There were clear pros and cons to the proposal, and it was a long day of discussions with the others after the secretary left. “There’s a conference being held in Vienna in three days, deciding the fate of the Avengers through this agreement.” With that, he’d strolled away once more, miming his back swing on his way out.

Tony presented his side; to agree. Steve was the exact opposite. You sighed, placing your head in your hands as the scene evolved around you. “That is incredibly ignorant, Steve.” Rhodey whined at the Captain, and he huffed, staring at the War Machine.

“It’s ignorant that you think it’s OK for us to stay on a leash, even if there’s something that we _need_ to fix.” More shouting, more arguing. The classic Stark lecture, which made you lean back in your seat even more, your head tilted over the back of the chair and staring at the ceiling. The day wore on as everyone chose which side they agreed with, and you were becoming increasingly despondent at the whole argument. Surely there was another way, another form of agreement. It was like one extreme to the next; this wasn’t the middle ground in your mind.

“Hey, Mother Nature,” Tony clicked his fingers at you like a dog and you shot daggers at him. “Care to join in, give a shit, maybe?” You stood up, pacing the room twice before replying. You could see the veins popping in Stark’s head.

“I’m on the fence, boss.” You stopped in the centre of the room and waited for the wails to begin again. It only took two seconds for them to resume.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I thought you were smart enough to understand something as severe as this.”

“Don’t act so casually about something this serious, (Y/N).”

They all made you burst. “Ugh, god! Just shut up! All of you! I can’t hear myself fucking think!” The whole room went silent, but still you stood, your mind racing with a way to sum up what you really agreed with from the accords. “Don’t you realise that all of our problems would be solved if the accords were tweaked the tiniest bit? If the Avengers became an active government organisation, an organisation that was viewed as working beside the people instead of in the other room to them, under government jurisdiction and control for the most part,” You breathed in, and saw Steve’s face immediately get ready to argue with you. You beat him to it. “But!” You boomed, and the Captain recoiled. “We’re given our own jurisdiction in special circumstances, such as emergencies concerning the entirety of the earth’s safety, missions similar to that of Sokovia.

“Fifty-fifty; that’s my decision, Stark. What else do you want me to say?”

Everyone sat in thoughtful silence, all agreeing in their heads that that was a suitable solution, yet, an unattainable one. “Not gonna cut it, kid,” Stark spoke after a few minutes. “As one of us, you need to pick a valid side. Yes or no.”

“I abstain, Tony.” He pursed his lips and glanced at the Captain who looked equally as fuming. There was a clear divide in the group, split directly down the middle, and no way to fix it until the accords were put in place permanently in Vienna. It was either that, or no Avengers. The world wouldn’t survive without them. Without all of you.

“I’ll go to Vienna, I’ll represent us.” Nat spoke up, and everyone silently nodded at her. “Steve?” She added, and the Captain looked up, giving one subtle shake of his head. He didn’t want to attend something that he didn’t agree with; he wouldn’t allow himself to do that. Cap had always had his own mind, his own opinions, and when he decided something he wouldn’t often falter from his first decision.

Then, Peggy Carter was confirmed deceased the day after the Avengers were given the accords.

And he vowed never to go against his instinct again.

“(Y/N)?” Nat added, staring at you from the side. The rest of the room looked at her like she was a mad woman, but said nothing.

“I’m not going to Vienna, Nat. We had a deal about people knowing about me.”

“Yeah, and now the Secretary of State knows who you are.” You rolled your eyes at her.

“That’s different and you’re aware of that. He saw me as another member in the Avengers team, not the nature wielding freak of the world that other people would see me as. Not the water-bending girl that was shown on Channel 5 for everyone to see.” Widow stared at you coldly and nodded slightly, crossing her arms and tapping her fingers mundanely. “It’s not like he’ll go babbling to his wife about some nature-istic girl being part of the damn Avengers.”

“Sure, you’re right,” The sarcasm was so prominent in Nat’s voice that you knew what was coming.  “Why not waste having a valid and, quite frankly, strong alternative option to the accords? Why not keep that opinion bottled up and leave us all split up and in conflict with one another?” You checked Nat off of your mental list of Avengers that had finally snapped at you. You would always snap back when necessary. You walked towards the ex-assassin, adrenaline coursing through your entire body.

“Don’t you dare pin this conflict on me, Romanoff. I didn’t cause this.” You looked around the room at the conflicted faces of the Avengers; it was almost unbearable to witness. “No one caused this, except circumstance. We have always been running out of time, the government were eventually going to get involved and wanna own your asses in some way. And, unlucky for us, they hand us this pile of shit and expect us to all agree. ‘Compromise where you can’ and all that crap, it’s all bullshit, Nat.

“This isn’t compromise, this is control.”

“Then say that to them, at the conference.” Nat grabbed your shoulders in her sturdy hands, and you were completely helpless. You shut your eyes and inhaled deeply, almost yawning as you breathed out. It was late, and you were both mentally and physically tried; everyone was.

“Why don’t you say it-,”

“They think I’m a vigilante, an assassin.” Nat began, interrupting you. “They will disregard me immediately.” You were at breaking point, could they not see?

“Tell me, all of you,” You turned to everyone, the tiredness seeping into your eyes, your bones, making your body slump sulkily. “Who would believe me? Who would listen to me? An eighteen year-old girl that no one even knows about being an Avenger?” From the number of blank faces in the room you knew that, for once, every person agreed on this one thing. The answer was no one. No one would listen to you, believe you, the silly voice of some ignorant little girl, in their eyes.

You had the answer in the palm of your hands.

But no way of telling it.

And the Avengers were crumbling apart by the second.

-

Vienna approached in the blink of an eye, but you stayed put in your room throughout the entire day, not wanting to face the Avengers as they stared at the ceilings and walls, waiting for the fate of their team to be decided.

Steve was in mourning, and that was clear. Peggy, his Peggy; she’d gone in her sleep. “Who’s that girl you always carry around in your wallet, Cap?” You were walking with Steve through the city, a Starbucks date on the cards. You and Steve had done this a lot over the past eight months, he was the Avenger you saw the most of, and a valued friend. Steve shuffled the browning photograph out of his wallet, and bobbed his head to the side.

“Peggy Carter, one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s finest.” He looked at the photo with a mixture of emotions; the predominant one was nostalgia, though sadness cut through the happiness prominently. “She’s over 90 years old now. Properly.” He looked down and slot the photo back in its place. Another fluttered out suddenly, spiralling to the ground quickly. You picked it up carefully, the photos were so frail.

There sat a handsome young man, his hair combed back, holding his army cap under his arm. He was smiling brightly. “Bucky.” You muttered. You were aware of the whole story; the Winter Soldier, HYDRA, Bucky being used as a mind to mould into the shape of whatever they wanted. James Buchanan Barnes; Steve Rogers best friend. A best friend who was taken from him and changed into something else entirely; a weapon to kill him.

It dawned on you, thinking back to that time, that this was actually someone’s life. This kind of life was what all the Avengers had. Tony’s parents; taken. Steve’s Bucky; taken. Banner’s control; taken. Natasha’s chance of ever having a family; taken. Wanda’s family; gone.

All gone.

So why did you feel so god damn sorry for yourself all the time?

Sure, you had shitbags as biological parents, but that didn’t stop you from achieving and going after the best life you could. Debs and Jason, they’d given you everything. And you’d spat all over them, as soon as they did something for themselves. You were selfish, you were ignorant, you were acting like a child. And Debs and Jason didn’t deserve any of it.

How had you just left them? How had you done that to them?

You found yourself needing to get out, and almost fell over leaving your room from moving too fast. You rounded the corner to the living room; you would tell Tony you’re taking a time out, to fix things once again. This needed to be sorted out. Debs had told you to never sleep while angry, but it seemed that right now your anger was never apart from you. It was always there, bubbling just beneath the surface, threatening to overflow and burn anyone that came near you.

As you hurried down the bedroom corridor, you thought back to before, before Stark had approached you. You never got mad usually, and when you did it was because something had properly pushed you over the edge, like the first argument you and Tony had had. You slowed yourself down, almost bumping into Rhodey in the living room. “Sorry-,” But your words trailed away as you took one look at everyone.

There they all- stood? Why were they standing?

You glanced at each face as it was glued to the screen in front of them, and Debs and Jason fizzled from your mind entirely. In front of you all was the breaking news, the headline-

_Terrorist attack at UN conference in Vienna, King T’Chaka confirmed dead._

But the worst part was who they said had blown up the building. There, in the corner of the screen, was a photo of none other than James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier.

And Steve was nowhere to be seen.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola, have you guys guessed which side the reader is on yet?????
> 
> well, if u haven't - then they aren't on ANY side. they in the middle. they chillin. they don't want no beef. 
> 
> just a quick heads up the next chapter of this may take a lil bit longer for me to upload; college has well and truly started and also I really want the next chapter to be good, it is the main civil war fight after all, ye. 
> 
> anyway!!! enjoy this and once again thank u all so much for supporting this fic and leaving kudos and comments. I realllllly appreciate it, truly.

"Nat, Jesus, are you OK?" You spoke quickly down the phone as everyone sat in the living room, their faces petrified. Steve should have been in London with Sam, for Peggy's funeral. But he wasn't picking up his phone for anyone. 

"I'm fine, I was out of the way of the explosion." You could imagine her face in serious mode, standing outside of the now destroyed conference building, mulling over with the debris. "I gotta go, (Y/N). Things to attend to." 

"Nat-," She hung up before you could say another word. You threw your phone on the chair next to you and almost flopped your body down alongside it, but remembered where you were. Tony stood with his arms crossed, his head veins popped out even more now. 

"Well," Stark paced the room impatiently. "Now what?" Everyone stayed silent, knowing that Tony was going to answer his own question. "Romanoff's gotta pick up the pieces of this attack by herself for now, but I wanna have a guess at what Stars and Stripes is thinking right now." Tony and Cap hadn't been speaking properly for the past few days; the accords had got to them. Steve refused to sign; Tony didn't like that one bit. 

Your instincts knew what Steve was going to do; he would go after Bucky, knowing that Buck wouldn't have blown up the building willingly; the solider serum still coursed through his veins strongly. It was possible that someone had made him do it; extremely possible. It was possible it was all a sham. 

Steve didn't have a filter when it came to friends and family, and when he put his mind to something now, you knew there would be no way of swaying him. He'd stay put, as sturdy as a tree, and refuse to move. You sighed to yourself as an idea struck you- and you were already up.

"Hey, where the hell do you think you're going, kid?" You'd already fast walked halfway back to your room when Stark shouted.

"Got shit to do, Tony." Before he could snap at you once more, you slammed your door shut and frantically scrolled through the contacts list on your phone, stopping at S. 

Crazy, how people can step back into your life in the blink of an eye. Even crazier when that person was probably with Steve at this exact moment in time. Even crazier when the only reason you knew them was because of a broken iPhone (and Nick fucking Fury). 

You put the phone to your ear, not knowing whether she'd pick up, but praying that she would. The phone rang twice, and the severe voice of Sharon Carter echoed down the receiver. "(Y/N)-,"

"Let me speak real quick," she stopped talking suddenly, noticing how frantic your own voice sounded. "Is Steve with you?"

Sharon paused on the end of the line, and you heard her sigh. "Look, (Y/N)-,"

"Is he safe, Sharon." She didn't reply, but you heard the subtle sound of whispers on the other end, and you shut your eyes. Please, Steve, you thought. Please. It's me. The receiver made a scratching noise and your eyes shot open. 

"I'm fine, (Y/N)," Steve's voice rang through the phone and your heart threatened to drop. Your eyes welled up at the sound of him, the tension you could clearly sense he was feeling, the sadness he was going through right now. For a minute, there was simply comfortable silence. You could hear Steve's breaths. You wracked your brain with something to say, anything. And something cut through your hazy thoughts. 

"Steve. I know what you're going to do." The Captain laughed in reply. "It's Bucky. Of course you're going to go after him." Steve laughed again, his breath getting hitched in the back of his throat slightly.

"Have I ever told you you're a very good judge of character?"

"Steve, please. You're going to get yourself in trouble and you know it." You knew what you sounded like-

"You sound like Tony." You sighed, knowing that it would be difficult to get through to him when he was like this, especially with all the conflict going on right now. 

"If this family keeps fighting, none of us are ever going to be OK with one another again." Your eyes overflowed at that, at the fact that the Avengers were now holding on to each other by the smallest of threads. Steve laughed again, but you noticed something harsh in his tone. You got ready to mentally tick off another person in your mind.

"How can you say that when you haven't even tried to fix your own family yet?" Tick. You stayed silent at his harsh words; he knew that you were sensitive about what had happened with Debs and Jason recently, he knew that Peter wasn't around. Why was he saying all of this? "You're not saying anything because you know I'm right, (Y/N)."

"Don't change the subject to avoid this conversation, Steve-,"

"You're avoiding the damn conversation!" Your face was sodden. You didn't swipe the tears away. "You haven't even figured out where you stand with the accords, and you're trying to tell me what's best?

"Sometimes I forget that you're just a child." He muttered, and you were more numb than angry at him. You loved Steve, you loved what he stood for, his personality, who he was as a person. But sometimes he had an inability to listen to people. "You don't fully understand what's going on, (Y/N), so just do yourself a favour and not get involved."

You sat, speechless, on your bed, your heart thumping in the back of your throat. If this was how he was going to be, you would not be the one he would take his frustrations out on. "OK, Steve," you said calmly. "Just remember, it's your fault I'm involved, your fault I'm actually an Avenger." 

"(Y/N)-,"

"Save your breath. It was my mistake. You're obviously fine." You hung up the phone before Cap could say anything to you, and because the sobs were crawling up your throat.

You stayed sat on your bed silently, the time ticking away uncontrollably. 

And you realised something. 

You were waiting for your tears to dry. 

-

Despite living with the Avengers, you hadn't given up your job at the Apple Store. It's crazy how much it calmed you, it made everything seem normal once more. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday; those were your normal days, even during the massive shit show that was the Avengers.

You'd decided to maybe take up on Steve's advice- don't become more involved. It hurt you more when you were in the loop than when you were out, but something always seemed to fluctuate so you were plunged back in with the Avengers head first. It had become almost comical. 

Almost.

Inside, you knew what was coming. Bucky was locked up right now, and Steve and Sam had been arrested by none other than Rhodey. That's when you'd taken a full ten steps back. 

The Avengers were a force to be reckoned with, and that's what you were most afraid of; them destroying each other. 

"(Y/N), your mom's here." 

"My mum?" You fluttered away from your thoughts as the voice of Jared came through your ears. As your eyes came into focus, there Debs stood. She approached you, your feet glued to the floor. It had been a little over two weeks since the fight; you wanted to hug her and never let go, but yet you stayed put. 

"Every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday," she smiled at you timidly, clutching her tote bag tightly to her body like a shield. "I, ah," she opened her bag suddenly, and frantically pulled out a package wrapped in silver foil. "Made you a sandwich." You took the parcel from her and nodded, fiddling with the foil as a way to stop yourself from crumbling into an anxious mess. 

"Thank you." You muttered, your eyes peering into hers as best you could without crying in front of the entirety of the store. Slowly, Debs reached her hand out towards you, her thumb stroking your face and tracing over the scar you'd got after Ultron attacked at the party. It seemed like that was years ago. Her eyebrows furrowed and the concern flooded her vision. 

"You look so thin. You're so pale, hunny." She retracted her hand and you found yourself moving slightly, wanting her to stay close to you. 

"Things are hectic right now, and I-," you stopped abruptly, knowing that this was the smallest attempt at the apology that Debs and Jason truly deserved. "I am so sorry, Debbie." Debs tsked, and you frowned, ashamed that that was the best you could do. "The way I acted was wrong, completely. And after- I just left you, and you've both done everything for me, I just- I'm so sorry," Debs' wrapped her hand around yours, not trying to seem subtle. You swallowed back your sadness and focused on the now; you needed to make it up better, and this was the first step towards it. 

"I know you are," she smiled, and you breathed out heavily. "My offer still stands, hunny. We moved into the house yesterday." You swallowed again. "The apartment has been paid for the next year, so it's really just- sitting there, ha." You smiled at her.

"Thank you, for everything you've done for me." Debs looked at you thoughtfully, her eyes tracing the outlines of your face, as if she were trying to engrain it in her mind permanently. Slowly, she slipped the key that you'd thrown on the floor back into your hand, and you pocketed it, all without taking your eyes off of her. 

"Come and visit. Text. Call. Please tell me you're safe." She furrowed her brows once more, and you nodded at her. 

"I promise," Debs wrapped her arms elegantly around you, and you embraced her back with just as much love. "You're my damn mum and I've treated you like utter shit." You whispered in her ear, and felt her smile on your shoulder. The words felt right as they left your mouth, and these four years had been made the best because of Debs and Jason. They were your legal guardians, and in yours and their book; you were family. They were your mum and dad. 

"I treated mine badly too, ever so often," she removed her grip from you and adjusted her bag. "Your family is your worst enemy, hunny. 

"They know too much and care too much for their own good." 

-

The compound was quiet for the next week or so, and you found yourself walking around mundanely, checking on Wanda every so often, and trying to avoid Vision. It was clear that Vision was keeping Wanda in the facility- and you hated the fact that it was probably Stark who told him to. 

It was getting to breaking point, so you decided that after your full day shifts you'd head back to the apartment instead of the compound; it was easier, you had more of your things there, anyway. 

"Hey, (Y/N)," Jared approached you after the two of you had closed up shop. It was late, but New York was buzzing. It was raining slightly, so you wrapped yourself up in your coat and tucked your hair behind your ears as the two of you stood under the small overhang of the store. "I, ah, was wondering- if you maybe, wanted to- hang out? Outside of work?" He pushed his glasses back up his nose and you smiled so widely at him, your face gaining a small amount of colour. 

It was true, Jared was attractive, he was cute. It was also clear that he cared about you in some way. You'd been working together for months, almost a year. He was almost 21, you were almost 19. It wasn't weird that he asked you out at all.

In fact, something inside of you kind of hoped he would, because you would never have plucked up the courage to yourself. 

"Jared, I would-," You looked down at the floor and smiled to yourself, before huffing and looking up. "I would love that." 

Not to toot your own horn, but you had money right now. With how much you'd been working and with living at the Avengers compound most of the time, all you had to pay for were things like travel and clothes, maybe some food here and there. You and Jared splashed out, after he'd insisted that you needed a break with the extra shifts you'd taken up, and with staying on extra hours, or till closing. 

"Dinner and a movie? Or- movie and then dinner? Or, popcorn at my place?" Jared had said, and you'd laughed. He was lovely, truly, and it was nice that you two were hanging out after work. Your mind trickled over to Peter once or twice, but you reeled yourself back; you weren't a thing anymore. 

"Ooo, popcorn does sound tempting. But so does a movie," Jared guided you to one of his favourite restaurants in the centre of the city, and he pulled the door open for you to go in. 

"It's settled then. Dinner, then a movie, with popcorn, at my place. All three." He smiled at you and you laughed back. It felt good to be doing something other than sitting around, thinking about the Avengers when they weren't alright with you right now, for some reason. 

They were your family. Like Debs and Jason were. They cared for you, and you cared for them. But even family members had flaws. You found yourself thinking about what Debs had said last week when she visited you at work- Your family is your worst enemy. 

-

"Where do you even live?" You asked, your arm slinked through Jared's as the two of you walked the New York streets at night, headed to his place. 

"Literally ten blocks from work," you furrowed your eyebrows. That was full on central New York, like the kind of apartment that celebrities or actors owned. Jesus.

"Don't tell me it's some big studio apartment or something," Jared went quiet and a small smile appeared on his face. You squeaked a little bit. "You're joking me." 

"You're very good at guessing facts about people, (Y/N)," he laughed, and the two of you turned the corner down onto a quiet street, lined with apartment buildings. "That's why you're so damn good at work." 

"OK, so I'm thinking a Tarantino," you said as you shuffled through Jared's DVD collection. His apartment was literally perfect; a wide open space with kooky furniture and books piled high everywhere. Jared was in the kitchen sorting out the microwave popcorn, and you picked up the case for Django Unchained. He nodded at you quickly, his face plastered with an enthusiastic smile.

"I didn't know you were into films," Jared whispered as the two of you slumped on his sofa, the popcorn bowl lying in between you, the movie booming off of the TV in front of you. 

"I love everything about film. The production, post and pre. The editing, the writing, the acting." You whispered back, chewing on popcorn as you watched the movie contently. Jared turned towards you and you saw his eyes flick over you. 

"I thought you wanted to be a surgeon." He ate a few pieces of popcorn, his eyes still stuck on your every word and movement. You tried to think of a way of telling him that being a surgeon wasn't ever going to happen anymore; in a way that didn't seem needy, or sad, or self-obsessed. You faced him and huffed.

"Stuff got in the way," You looked back towards the movie and sighed slightly. You could sense Jared as he tried to understand what may have happened, but he got nowhere. 

Peter could always read you. 

Jared shuffled himself closer to you, and you accepted his affection as he draped his arm over your shoulder and you leant into him slightly, the popcorn balancing on your knee. To be touched, and to feel someone else; you hadn’t realised how much you’d missed it until the craving was bubbling inside of you, raging stronger by the minute. 

Jared obviously felt the same thing, because ten minutes after that the two of you were stood up, your lips pressed together and kissing each other ravenously. Jared had both hands cupping your face as yours skimmed his chest, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. You pulled yourself away from him suddenly and caught your breath. Jared’s eyes searched yours, inhaling you completely. You found yourself biting your lip at him.

In one motion, Jared had pressed you up against the wall, his hands trailing down your body instead, and his face pressed firmly against your neck, biting and pecking small kisses up and down. It sent you wild. Your breathing was erratic now, and you had that feeling in the pit of your stomach that perhaps you shouldn’t be doing this; but that feeling was being overcast by the immense craving you had for what was happening. 

It was so out of character for you- I mean this was technically the first date. Wasn’t kissing on the first date supposed to be a big no? 

Jared wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer towards him, which seemed impossible with how close you both were already. “Hey,” You looked him in his green eyes, not realising you’d been staring at the floor. “You OK?” Jared whispered, but you didn’t shiver. You nodded slowly at him, knowing fully well you weren’t alright. A thought had popped into your head, one that you wouldn’t be able to shake off quickly.

You and Peter had never gone on a date. Not one. 

Why had you insisted it be a casual thing? ‘See where it goes, let’s not settle on anything yet...’ Those had been your exact words to him, and you hadn’t bothered to ask what he wanted, you’d just assumed the two of you were happy with it being oddly low-key, with not exclaiming about the fact you guys were practically together-

Why? Why did you want to basically keep it a secret? 

Because now, you’d do anything to be able to tell someone that he was yours. 

“Actually,” You spoke quietly. “I’m not OK,” Jared’s face dropped and he took a step back from you, his hands still gently resting on your waist.

“What’s wrong?” There was genuine concern in his voice, and you felt like a fucking arsehole. Of course this was how the night was going to end, because it was clear Jared liked you, and you liked him too.

But not like that. And doing this with him wasn’t right. 

“I’m sorry. I, ah,” You removed yourself from him and grabbed your bag. “I’m gonna go.” Jared scoffed at you, his face contorting into something else other than concerned. He was pissed. 

“Wh- ha,” He paced once, ruffling his hair in mass annoyance. He turned back to you and smacked his hands against his thighs. “Sure, OK.” Jared stomped over to the coffee table and picked up the half-eaten bowl of popcorn, shoving a few pieces into his mouth. He budged past you and headed for his room, not turning back once. “Go ahead and let yourself out,” His bedroom door slammed shut. 

You walked down the stairs of Jared’s apartment block, your heart beating so fast in your chest. Why didn’t you just talk to him about it? About why you didn’t want to continue? Instead you literally just left without saying a damn word. Why were you incapable of being a decent person? To anyone? You got to the last set of steps, your entire body trembling suddenly and making you lean yourself against the wall to stabilise yourself. 

The minutes ran past and you stayed there, the wall holding you up as you tried to control your breathing and compose yourself. If anyone saw you right now they wouldn’t think you would ever be an Avenger.

They’d think you were a lost little girl.

Your stomach somersaulted suddenly, a bad feeling spreading through your entire body and making your heart race faster once more. Something felt really wrong and you didn’t know why. You’d been on mute with the team for the past few weeks, almost a month, and only now your instincts were going off the charts about something. 

Your bad feelings were answered for, though, because not a minute after you’d been hit your phone rang out from your bag;

“Germany,” The frantic but quiet voice of Sharon Carter flew into your ear. “They’re in Germany, all of them.” You coughed while you sat, pondering what she meant. It was obviously about Tony and Steve; it had to be. Steve had gone after Bucky, and Tony blamed him for splitting up the team even more than the accords did. Cap’s persistence; it would never fail. And when it was against Cap, Tony’s wouldn’t, either. 

“All of them?” You repeated, your brain incapable of piecing words together properly. Sharon hummed down the phone as a response, and you slid to the ground, sitting on one of the concrete steps. “They’re going to destroy each other.” It trickled out of your mouth in a whisper and settled in the air around you, transforming it into a layer of heaviness, suffocating you. This was your family, and they were going to destroy each other. 

“Rogers and Barnes, they’re trying to get to Siberia to find Helmut Zemo, the man that framed Buck for the bombing of the UN conference.” Sharon was back to serious mode, and you could tell she called you because she cared. 

“How do you know all this?” She went silent on the other end of the line, but you put two and two together. “Steve.” You answered your own question. You wanted, needed, to help them, but how? They were hours away from killing each other and you were thousands of miles away from Germany. You and the team weren’t exactly on the same page at the moment, either. “If I go, all it’ll do is worsen the hate between Steve and Tony. We’re not, so to speak, ‘alright’ right now.” 

Sharon huffed. “(Y/N), you’re the damn glue.” 

“The what?” 

“The glue, the peacekeeper, whatever. You’re intelligent, you’re powerful, and you can fix this,” You scrunched your face up as the frustration boiled over. “You need to at least try. And I know you want to.” 

“Have you been stalking me or something? Because I don’t remember the deep meaningful conversation that we had where I opened up about all this shit,” She sighed, and you mentally punched yourself. She was trying to help, she was actually doing something about what was about to go down. You were disregarding your own wanting to help them by claiming that you’d simply fuck it up even more. And maybe you would.

But maybe you wouldn’t. 

“I can have you on a jet to Germany within the hour, from JFK.” I guess Sharon did kinda know you, because you melted completely. You had no more excuses about not being able help; she’d just handed you the key on a platter. You stood up and breathed in, deeply, the phone dangling in your hand as you stretched out your limbs. 

You shut your eyes and put the phone back up to your ear. 

“I’ll be at the airport in half an hour.” 

You hung up the phone and swung open the door to the apartment block, your limbs pumping as you ran to hail a cab, headed for JFK. Headed for your family. Even if they were your worst enemy.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! so college is going amazzzzing and I'm really really happy! also, it's only three days a week so I still have time to actually write which I am soooo fucking glad about. 
> 
> enjoy this chapter then ye!!

Flight time was just over 7 hours, and you slept for most of it. Not the best, considering it was 5am when you landed, and you were wide awake. Sharon had set you up with a hotel, so you headed there first, knowing that Steve would be headed for the airport later.

So would Tony.

This time, No Man’s land would be the runway.

You’d never been to Berlin, but at 5am from a taxi window it looked gorgeous. Lamp lights shone brightly, illuminating the slowly brightening streets in the fresh morning. The buildings; they were all shapes and sizes, but all had a distinct look about them. You caught a glance inside one of them when you were at a red light; it reminded you of Jared’s apartment; you gulped as the car started moving again.

When you got to the hotel you checked in; it had been paid for by someone anonymous, though it must have been Sharon, or maybe Fury. In any other circumstance, you’d find it odd; getting on a plane at 11pm to Berlin and staying in a pre-paid hotel, just for two nights. But right now, as you slumped down on your pillow, it felt like the most normal thing.

You couldn’t believe it had come to this, though; this pointless fight; like children playing a war game. How ironic that Steve had called you a child, yet you seemed like the only vague adult out of all of them right now.

You lay on your side and shuffled the duvet up all the way to your head, the feeling of wanting to disappear having just hit you. The glue; Sharon had called you the glue. Buy was that even true? You’d never imagined that you’d be a factor in keeping the Avengers together, and even now you didn’t imagine it. Yet here you were, in a Berlin hotel waiting to go and stop them; to bring them home.

You changed into your suit and wore your favourite denim jacket over the thermal, then grabbed your phone and your bag and headed out of the hotel. Sharon had agreed to call you after you landed, and you weren’t about to spend what little time you had in Berlin moping around in your hotel room.

You jumped on the bus and sat down, staring out the window and slotting in your earphones. The bus was almost empty, it was 6:30am, no one would willingly choose to be up that early on a Sunday.

You jumped off the quiet bus and made an immediate right, having looked at a google map before you left the hotel. The cobbled streets of Berlin in the morning light were so idyllic, and you made a vow to yourself to travel Europe at least once in your life. If you were back in England right now, you’d probably be in the middle of inter-railing or something; a lot of British kids did it because of the EU, no Visa’s required for the European countries. That would be different now though, what with the EU Referendum coming out as leave. Also, you loved New York; if you lived there for the rest of your life you wouldn’t mind one bit.

Turning another corner, you stopped in the middle of the deserted street as your eyes hit the structure. The Brandenburg Gate stood in front of you, illuminated from inside its arches and casting a ray of light over the grey clouds of the morning. You stood there for a few seconds more, just taking in the gorgeous architecture, before exploring it up close.

Reading the many names chiselled into the gate was upsetting, but also gave you hope. These people, there men and women and some children, had fought for their country in countless battles. You looked at some of the names from 1939-1945;

This had been Hydra’s time. Steve’s time. And now it was resurfacing itself.

You discovered a small café on the next street over from the gate and set yourself down on one of the small patio tables, the top of the gate visible over a few buildings. In the ever-growing light, you had breakfast and people watched as some of the early risers went about their business. By 8am, the streets were bustling. Your bag vibrated; your phone.

“Hey,” you picked it up quickly, picking up a few crumbs from the croissant you’d just had and licking them from your fingers. “I just visited Brandenburg Gate.”

“Did you see Aunt Peggy’s name?”

“She’s- on it?” You stuttered and dropped your hand, astounded. “Why?”

“That’s none of our business.” You could sense Sharon’s smile from down the receiver, reminiscing about her late aunt. “Anyway. Back to things. Steve and Bucky are planning on going to Siberia, so I have a feeling Stark will try to cut them off at the airport.” You furrowed your brows in concentration.

“The airport? But there are so many civilians,” You whined. Sharon huffed.

“I know,” Her words put you at ease slightly. She knew the situation was bad, and she didn’t act like it wasn’t. Sharon had taken matters in to her hands by calling you. It was because she was worried; probably just as worried as you. Something was still unclear though.

“You never told me how you knew they were in Germany.” The line went silent, and you knew what is was. Despite meeting Sharon once, it was as if the both of you had gained this telepathic insight into each other’s lives. Maybe it was a Carter thing.

“Steve contacted me. I got his, Wilson’s and Barnes’ gear from when they’d been arrested. Pulled a few strings.” You shut your eyes, breathing slowly. Sharon was only doing what was easiest at that time, so you didn’t blame her for bringing them the gear. In fact, you were almost mad at Steve for asking her to go out of her way like that.

“Well, I suppose I should explore more of Berlin before the Avengers raze it to the ground, along with themselves.” Sharon shuffled on the other end of the line, and you drank the cold dregs of your cup of tea.

“Be safe. I’m sure you’ll know when they arrive, but just stay wary.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” You smiled, but it was a forced one. A forced one disguised as a genuine one, because you missed smiling for real. Every smile you did nowadays was from pity, from being sorry, from being sad. Not from actually being happy. “Thank you, Sharon.”

“Let’s get coffee when this blows over.”

“If. If it blows over.”

-

The next four hours were spent wandering the streets of Berlin, on the search for anything to distract you before the inevitable arrived. You came across a fair few interesting things; buildings; people. You sat in a park and ate brunch, the sun shining across the entire city and filling you with warmth. The air was restless, though; you could sense it.

You were fuming already and the fight hadn’t even started. Sharon had told you a thing or two about what Tony had done in the lead up to the battle; including going to Cornell University and paying a visit to Peter, for some reason. Peter had told you Tony had taken away his suit before, and you cursed silently at the thought that he’d threatened to do it again.

As you wandered down a small road, you noticed a TV on in a small bar, the people inside looking more than calm. Your heart dropped and you ran over, needing to see what they were watching; the news; it was all in German, obviously, but the scene on the screen looked rushed and frantic.

“Sir- what does it say?” You gently grabbed the shoulder of the man in front of you.

“They are evacuating the main airport in Berlin. It could be a bomb scare.” The man’s thick German accent hit your ears and his words sank in. It wasn’t a bomb scare; it was them.

Suddenly, you were running, the streets of Berlin whipping past you as you slalomed the streets, headed for the airport. It was happening and you didn’t feel a thing except numbness. They were all really going to do this and neither Tony nor Steve had told you about anything.

They weren’t being themselves, that was clear. It hurt you to think that they believed this was their only option; there was always a choice; they were all acting so harshly.

You slowed down as you approached the airport, choosing a secluded back route as civilians left through all of the main entrances- though there weren’t many left. You walked calmly past a few police officers as they guided out various people, distressed by the sudden evacuation. Tony was so beyond extra, you thought.

When you found yourself alone, you immediately ran towards the nearest gate, wanting to get a good look at the outside area; the runway; the leftover, empty planes. You pressed your hands against the glass and looked across the wide-open space of the airport; your eyes immediately caught sight of something- someone.

Steve lurked quietly behind a set of plane steps, his eyes plastered on a helicopter not ten feet in front of him; Siberia- that’s how he planned on getting there. Cap came forward slowly at first, then sprinted towards the copter, but a second later it was up in smoke; Stark had fired an electro-bullet at it, frying it completely.

You stood as still as a tree as you saw the situation unfurl. Behind Stark the others approached in the form of Natasha, Rhodey, Vision and someone you didn’t recognised, dressed entirely in black. You squinted- were those cat ears?

On the other side behind Cap stood Wanda and Clint, with Sam and Bucky approaching from just behind them. You clenched your jaw; OK, so being out of the loop actually wasn’t such a good thing.

The two sides continued to advance slowly towards each other, and then your legs were pumping at full capacity, headed for the other side of the airport, headed for your family as they were no doubt trying to smart talk one another.

“... because it’s us.” Tony looked directly at Steve, his mask off. “You’re tearing the Avengers apart.” Cap stayed cool.

“You did that when you signed, Tony.” Tony sighed, and despite being in the airport you could see his face change; now he was pissed off, annoyed, hurt. Everything Tony hated being.

“Alright,” Stark began, and you were so close to the door, so close to getting outside to them. “I’ve run out of patience. ‘Underoos’!” You almost fell over on the asphalt as you saw Spider-Man jump from behind a plane, his web gripping onto Cap’s shield and slipping it from his hands in one motion. Spider-Man landed on a truck, the shield held tightly in his grip.

You ignored the thumping in your ears as you ran to them all, but a plane now blocked you from view; you couldn’t see them, nor them you. You turned on your communicator and could hear them all, now-

“Captain,” Peter spoke.

“Peter.” Cap replied. They were all being so serious, so out of character.

You were fast approaching them all, your legs not stopping despite your worn-out muscles. You could see them under the plane now, just as Peter was kicked off of the truck from an unknown source, Cap’s shield having been flung into the air. A man had literally grown from nothing, and had landed next to Steve. “I believe this is yours, Captain America.” Who was that? Had they really been recruiting people for their stupid mini-war?

Your eyes fell upon the No Man’s land between both teams, and suddenly your stomach dropped as they all began jogging towards each other, their limbs building up speed, heading straight for each other. Without moving your arms, the wind had encased you, wrapping itself around the bottom half of your body and torso and spiralling upwards in a tornado. You flew over the plane and the wind grew stronger as you willed it to stop in No Man’s land; between them all.

Everyone was thrown backwards; both sides. You willed the storm to slow as you landed on the concrete, swallowing as you readied yourself to speak. “Stop this. All of you.” You spoke over the comms; now they all knew you were here.

The wind dispersed and the Avengers stood either side of you, utterly divided. You made sure to only look at Steve and Tony in turn, not allowing yourself to lay your eyes on Peter or any of your other friends. “Stop.” You repeated, and both leaders took a step forward, though Steve was halted slightly by Bucky placing a metal hand on his shoulder.

“Is that who I think it is?” You heard him whisper into his best friend’s ear, and almost smiled at the soldier. Steve had obviously told Bucky about you, which only made your insides squirm uncomfortably from what was happening.

“Well, if it isn’t Little Miss Sunshine,” Tony slandered closer to you. You simply stood in front of him, your face blank. “So, what? You though that now you’d intervene?” Intervene. Is that what you were doing?

“I wouldn’t need to intervene if you and Steve weren’t playing war with each other.” Tony scoffed at you, and he looked much more intimidating in his Iron Man suit. You still didn’t falter; this was Tony we were talking about; behind his suit and his money he was a damn daisy in need of a water.

“You wouldn’t have needed to intervene if you’d signed the damn accords- both of you.” It was your turn to scoff now, and you did. He was so dramatic, he was acting like a baby who’d dropped his dummy.

“God, Stark. You think that anyone who stands in front of you is your enemy.” You gave him a stare that communicated everything. You didn’t agree, yet you didn’t disagree. Stark was treating you like you’d single-handedly ruined the Avengers, yet you’d been off their radar for some time. “You’re forgetting I’m fifty/fifty.”

“And you’re forgetting that that’s not good enough, kid.” You looked down, biting your tongue to keep down your anger. It didn’t work.

“Not good enough, huh?” You whispered, and looked Stark directly in his steely eyes; his face flinched for a second at your expression. “Then why did you recruit me, Tony?” You looked around at everyone, now, trying to keep what little composure you had left on lock. “Why then, huh? If I’m a stupid kid, why have you kept me around for the past year? Oh- and Peter, too, why did you recruit him if we’re too young to understand what the hell is going on?”

Stark stared at you, his mouth slightly agape. He closed it and mentally took a step back inside his box. “I’m in the wrong for being young. I’m in the wrong for having my own opinion, yet I’m also in the wrong for not telling people that opinion.” Tony, Steve and Nat looked to the floor, seeming very interested in their feet all of a sudden. “And now, here I am,” You gestured to all of them, spreading your arms wide open in mocking. “Here I am trying to make something right, and yet!” You chuckled in anger, your smile being forged by your rage- “I’m wrong again.

“So, it’s my fault. That’s what you’re saying, right?” You nodded a few times at them, your face bright red now as the blood gathered on your cheeks. Steve inhaled;

“(Y/N), that’s not-,”

“You do _not_ get to speak to me, Steve.” You turned to him so suddenly that he took a small step back, his voice getting hitched in his throat as he recoiled himself, remembering the phone conversation you’d both had after Vienna. He went completely silent. Tony scratched his head;

“Jeez, I could have just got you to _tell_ him to sign the damn accords-,”

“Stop talking, Tony.” You turned to him now, advancing towards him and stopped when your faces were a metre from each other. “You kept Wanda trapped in the compound against her own will. You recruited Peter tn your side with blackmail.” Tony raised his chin at you, knowing fully well you were right.

“OK, I think that’s enough-,”

“I’m not finished.” You interrupted the recruit dressed as a cat, your eyes scanning him all over and wondering who he was.

“Do you know who you’re speaking with?” The panther approached you slightly, and tracked his claws out. “I am T’Challa, the King of Wakanda-,”

“And I’m (Y/N) fucking (L/N), and for the past year I’ve been part of this damn team and _you haven’t_. So back. The hell. Up. And let. Me. Finish.” The black panther moved back to his original space and you tucked your hair behind your ear, breathing deeply. You turned around slightly, your face falling upon Nat’s; she had that upturned curl on one side of her mouth; she was smiling at what you’d just said. You wanted to punch something very hard.

 You were getting to the end of your tether, and they could all see it. But their faces; they looked like a bunch of kids who'd been told to go to the naughty step after a tantrum. You looked at them all and you knew them, truly. It had been a year. You knew them and they knew you. You were family.  
  
But right now you needed them to stop.  
  
And you had a feeling that they wouldn't.  
  
"Stop this conflict and come home. All of you." You couldn't speak without shaking anymore, the anger being replaced with unimaginable sadness. "Come back," the voice got hitched in your throat, and suddenly it dwelled on you that you were in the middle of their battlefield. They could resume at any time.   
  
You took a deep breath in, and your eyes shot over to Peter, his mask still donned. You gulped. This wasn't right. "Take your mask off, Peter. These personas, all of the stigma surrounding the 'superheroes' in New York and around the world. It's all not worth it if you're going to use your gifts for fighting against others who have them."   
  
"This isn't your fight, (Y/N)." Sam whispered, but you heard him as clear as day.   
  
"If this isn't my fight, it shouldn't be any of yours either." You stared at Sam, your face calm, your blood boiling.  
  
"OK, I don't have the patience for this-," the Black Panther whispered quickly, and you didn't even have time to defend yourself before his claws were wrapped around your throat- dangling you half a metre off the ground.  
  
Tony and Steve both sprung from their spots. Steve threw his shield at the King, but he dodged it with his vibranium suit; the same as Steve's shield. Tony shot at him multiple times, and the blast sent him flying to the side, letting you go and flopping you to the ground, gasping for air in your burning lungs. Your vision blurred, but you found yourself being surveyed by four faces; Wanda, Sam, Clint and Peter.   
  
The rest stayed where they were.   
  
"You're staying the fuck down, champ." Tony stood on the back of T'Challa; he couldn't move. Steve ran over, and suddenly you were hit with something odd. You got yourself up and waved for the others to back off, stumbling as your body still tried to recover itself.   
  
"You don't touch her, don't fucking touch her-," Peter was running towards where Tony had the Panther pinned down, but a throw of Cap's shield had him falling before he even got close to the two men.   
  
"Stop!" You screamed, your voice cracking as your throat burned with dryness. Everyone stayed still, their eyes plastered on you as you clutched your neck, the redness surrounding it and growing the more you breathed. Peter got up slowly from the ground, his bones clicking uncomfortably. "Is this what you all want?"   
  
Steve looked down at the ground. Tony stamped harder on the panthers back, winding him, before stomping towards you. "It's not about want. It's about need."

  
"Then I'm done." You said, the severity prominent in your tone. Steve whipped his head around and faced you, his body going rigid.  
  
"What do you mean, 'done'." It didn't even sound like a question, just a mixture of words through his now clenched teeth. You didn't have the energy to talk anymore, and you turned your body around slowly, clutching your hip as it sent shots of pain through your torso.   
  
You didn't even care anymore. This was too painful to witness. They would fight each other but not fight you. What kind of damn hypocrisy was that? You kept walking despite their chants for you to come back, for you to explain what the hell you meant. But you felt nothing anymore.  
  
"Don't worry about me getting involved anymore, Steve." You turned back one last time, the Avengers stood ten metres away from you, their faces broken slightly. "It seems I don't have jurisdiction."  
  
You ignored Tony's whining after that, Nat's annoyed but concerned pleads for you to get back to the group, Clint's yelling at Cap and Peter's voice as quiet as anything. In fact, he was silent, you couldn't hear him at all.   
  
Until he landed in front of you, his mask off and in his hand, his eyes scanning yours and telling you that you were right about everything. His arms wrapped themselves around your shoulders and you wrapped yours around his waist as the two of you walked back towards the main airport building.   
  
"I'll take the suit away again!" Tony screamed down the comms, though you hear him clear as day across the asphalt. Peter didn't let go of you, but stopped and turned back to them all, his face stern.  
  
"Take the damn suit then." Despite the distance, you could visualise Tony's face.   
  
Astounded.  
  
As you and Peter got to the door to the building it was clear; Tony wasn't going to take the damn suit.  
  
And you were free. If you could call it freedom.  
  
The Avengers had lost a member, though the public didn't know that. They knew that something fishy was possibly going on in the compounds, that an unknown person was spotted controlling the elements, that that same being helped in Sokovia; they just didn't know her name.  
  
You didn't care at that moment, though, as Peter's arms were wrapped around you like when you were sixteen and at that party, like when your heart was in your throat on his apartment block roof when he turned seventeen.   
  
Right now all you needed was a clean pair of pyjamas and a cup of tea, sat in bed with your best friend; a distraction good enough to stop you throwing up from the situation at hand. Sharon had called you the glue, she had been wrong. What could you do about it? At least you'd tried. At least you'd got your best friend back. At least you'd seen the Brandenburg Gate.   
  
But you still hadn't succeeded.  
  
It was like the last scene of Fight Club, when Jack and Marla hold hands and stare at the scene surrounding them, big corporate buildings collapsing in front of their very eyes as they stay still, like statues, and see the world they live in being demolished- you and Peter stood, arms wrapped around each other, as you glanced at the Avengers. They were ripping each other apart; Wanda had just manipulated cars to fly through the air, landing on Tony in mid-flight.   
  
You turned away, and found yourself holding your breath. Peter poked you gently, and you looked at him with concentration, not wanting to look at the others anymore. "Let's get out of here." You nodded at him, and the two of you left, the same way Jack had made Tyler leave.  
  
The old you, the Avenger you, would always be in that airport in Berlin, staring out across the asphalt; hating herself for not saving them;

For letting them destroy each other until nothing was left but the resentful pages of the Sokovia Accords.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! the amount of love I continue to receive from this story is astounding and I can't believe that so many of you have continued to read it!! I find myself writing a lot on the train, to and fro from college, which means I actually get a lot more written than I think I do?? I'm probably whacking out a chapter every 3 days on average, which aint a bad way to go haha.
> 
> enjoy this!! its one of those kinda inbetween chapters, but I still thinks its sweet. plus is sets up some damn tension for later ayyyyyyyyyye. I have so many ideas for this so get ready!!!! 
> 
> thank you all, luv you!

The TV sat mundanely in the living room of your apartment. You were channel flicking, a bottle of beer balanced precariously on your knee. Had you hit rock bottom already? You hadn't even made it to twenty yet. Pathetic.   
  
You changed the channel of the television once more and the news flashed up on the screen, the presenter talking in that oh so fancy, serious voice, staring directly into the camera into the unknown eyes of whoever was watching on the other side. She continued to drone on about another bad thing that people had done, until the subject changed; you perked up immediately, almost dropping your beer on the floor.  
  
_Last night members of the group known as the Avengers were taken into custody and are now serving time in a highly guarded facility, just off the coast of New York. They were taken in after conflict was issued between members of the team, and the most prominent leaders in the whole ordeal were none other than Steve Rogers, Captain America, and Tony Stark, Iron-Man._  
  
_The CCTV cameras at Berlin Airport caught footage of the fight, including one unknown individual who was filmed encased in a tornado of some kind. Police haven't been able to divulge the identity of this individual as of yet, but are certain she is the same person who was filmed by Channel 5 in Stark Towers, alongside the other Avengers._  
  
_Sources say the Avengers were taken into custody at around 2:30pm in Berlin, before being jetted over to the penitentiary back in New York. Rogers was witnessed fighting alongside the infamous Winter Soldier, James Buchanan Barnes, who was framed for bombing the UN conference in Vienna last month, killing the former King of Wakanda. At this moment their whereabouts are unknown._  
  
_The Avengers as of now have been put on hold, but the Secretary of State has made it very clear that he intends to discuss the matter as soon as all the information surrounding these individuals has been collected. Tony Stark still resides in Stark Towers and the members of his so called team have been granted probation. One member of his side, James Rhodes, was critically injured in the conflict and is now undergoing rehabilitation. More on this story in about an hour._  
  
You switched off the TV, your eyes hadn't blinked once during the report, but your heart had been beating off the hook. You felt responsible somehow, despite trying to stop them. They did this; they split up the team; it wasn't your fault.  
  
It wasn't your fault.  
  
But you didn't stop them.   
  
You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to grasp the situation at hand. So, they were still together? But just not operating at the moment. It was clear the Secretary of State wanted the Avengers to comply, or be shut down. You'd bet that he's trying to dig up even more dirt on the Avengers to get them finished for good, despite all of the good they've done for the world.   
  
It was a total shit show, but you'd left them now. It wasn't your responsibility anymore, even if it still pained you. It had only been three days; you'd hardly had time to get your body back to normal, let alone forget about the last year of your life. As well as the Avengers, you had other shit on your plate; Jared.  
  
You walked timidly into work, keeping your earphones in and your eyes plastered to the ground. Dropping your stuff off in the staff room, you heard footsteps approach you from behind; the hair on the back of your neck stood on end. You breathed out, and willed your body to face whoever it was; though of course it was Jared.   
  
"Hey," you started, and Jared's eyes traced over your face, his own in a steely expression. "I don't even know how to begin saying I'm, ah, sorry for what happened the other night." Jared pursed his lips at you, squinting slightly.   
  
"You know what I worked out?" You stared at him with wide-eyes at the sudden change of subject, but went along with it.   
  
"Ah, no?"   
  
"I know why you've been so on edge recently, and it's not just from the other night." You gulped as a massive boulder of anxiety bombarded into your gut. You didn't say a word. "The news, I knew I recognised her."   
  
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.   
  
You stayed still as you felt the fear ripple throughout your body. He knew who you were.   
  
"You're one of them, aren't you? You're that Avenger who can control elements." You looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes, afraid that you'd completely collapse. Like a child, you nodded at the floor. The bubble had finally burst.   
  
"You're very good at guessing facts about people." You said in an attempt to lighten the mood, mimicking Jared's words from your date. You breathed out, the shakes spreading through your body less so now. You leaned on the wall and found yourself sliding down it, wanting to have a break from it all.  
  
You wished you could disappear. But you didn't have powers of invisibility.   
  
Loki did, kind of, but you didn't.   
  
Jared paced the room, though he wasn't threatening, he was just thinking. He did it often on the shop floor, as well. "And Spider-Man. I wanna bet something's going on with him." You scoffed, adrenaline coursing through your body uncomfortably.   
  
"How the hell did you get all of this from one news report?"   
  
"(Y/N)," Jared huffed and came towards you, sliding down the wall to sit next to you. There was no malice at all. "It may surprise you, but I am actually very observant. Especially when every time an Avenger comes in to buy an iPod they always seem to end up talking to you.  
  
"Well, that and the fact that I saw you flying off with Spider-Man over 5th Avenue when that first news report was shown." You laughed slightly, the giggles hitting your stomach and stopping the anxiety slightly. You turned towards him, your eyes peering into his.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Jared." He shoved himself up from the floor, and gave you a hand up. You took it, and immediately felt better.   
  
"We all have stuff going on. I just wish you'd told me. About the guy, not the whole part about you being a magical elemental wielding badass. You can keep that a secret." The two of you smiled at each other and it was clear everything was fixed. You still felt bad about how you'd left his apartment, but you'd apologised, and in fact- he could finally read you. You both hugged it out, and it cemented what you guys had; a kickass friendship.  
  
For now, at least.   
  
You were free of the Avengers, who knows what could happen now? You actually had, well, a life. You could do with it what you wanted and not be constantly weighed down in fear, or unknown calls from Stark telling you to get your damn suit on. Their world; it was different. And evidently that kind of different didn't work for you. It had taken a year for you to figure that out.   
  
Jared and you left the staff room, both feeling much better about the situation. So, another person knew about you. And yeah, you were scared. But it was getting easier to deal with. It was like what Steve said; you wouldn't get swarmed.  
  
It was too late now, the world would forever cease to know your name as part of the Avengers. You'd fought for them, risked your life, and no one but them properly knew about it. And you were OK with that.  
  
Were you OK with that?   
  
You scrubbed the thought aside, not wanting to freak yourself out even more before your eight-hour shift. This was the most important thing for you now; your work; your family; yourself.   
  
No more Tony fights.   
  
No more patronising Steve.  
  
No more playing darts with Clint, or mucking about with Wanda. No more Nat hugs, or Bruce hugs, or Thor hugs, or any hugs from them for that matter. No more joking with Sam, or intentionally annoying Rhodey when he claimed to hate it, but secretly loved it.   
  
They were all good people. But they'd been put into an unbearable situation.

"(Y/N), it's lunch," Jared spoke gently. What? It had already been four hours? That went by fast. "Also..." Jared pointed to someone standing by the Genius Bar, and your body instantly relaxed. Peter leaned against the bar, his fingers tapping the top of it expectantly. You thanked Jared and strolled over to where Peter stood; he wrapped his arm around your waist affectionately and you shivered comfortably.  
  
"Why're you here? Too smart for Cornell?" You joked, and he smiled.   
  
"I had a reading week. But I did all my reading early." You looked at him playfully, of course he'd done his reading early. "Besides. It's someone's birthday in three days."   
  
Your nineteenth birthday. It had come around so quickly that you'd almost forgot. "We're getting old, aren't we?" You joked, and you thought back to when you and Peter were fourteen, after you'd first met. Had that really been almost five years ago?

Your phone vibrated in your pocket; a text from Debs-   
  
_Hi hunny,_  
_Are you free Wednesday for dinner? Would love to see you. Hope you're well._  
_Debs and Jase x_  
  
You chuckled at Debs' timing. "That was Debs, inviting me over for Wednesday. I wanna bet she's invited you and May, too."   
  
"I guess that means a celebration is on the cards," Peter spoke, but he wasn't looking at you; his eyes were scanning Jared. You went bright red, but decided on what to do quickly.  
  
"Hey, Jared, come here for a sec!" You shouted at your manager, and he jogged over, sticking his hand out for Peter to take. "Peter, this is Jared. Jared- Peter." It was sufficiently awkward to say the least, and you saw Peter's face change as Jared tried his best to smile, his eyes scanning Peter just as much as Peter glanced at Jared.   
  
"So," Jared began, and got in close to both of you. "Is this Spider-Man?" Jared whispered, and Peter frowned. Your eyes shot open as wide as they could go, and you placed a reassuring hand on Peter's chest.  
  
"He guessed Peter, don't ask me how the hell he-,"   
  
"How the hell did he guess something as specific as that-,"  
  
"The Berlin CCTV they showed on the news," Jared began, his voice calm. "Spider-Man had brown hair with his mask off. Not to be creepy, but I sorta recognised him. I pinned that to you whenever you came in to see (Y/N)." Peter nodded slowly, his body going slightly more slack than tensed. You couldn't believe Jared had greeted him with that.

Jesus. Boys. They were a handful.  
  
"Well, then," Peter spoke, breathing deeply as he tried to comprehend how Jared was that damn observant. "Lunch?" And he'd said it to both you and Jared.  
  
By the time you guys got a sandwich I think it was clear that Peter knew you and Jared had somewhat 'hooked up'. And obviously, he wasn't mad. You guys hadn't been together. Something inside of you saw that he'd been with someone for a short time at Cornell, too, but despite all that the two of you had come back to each other. He was still your best friend, you think he always would be.  
  
- 

“Ahh! Come in, come in!” You were greeted with the all too familiar and loving voice of Debs as you were dragged into their new house. It was beautiful, and had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, a large kitchen (much to Debbie’s delight) and a spacious living room. It screamed Debs and Jason, to be honest, and you were happy they were happy. You rounded the corner to the living room and almost choked;

“Surprise!” A wave of noise hit you as you tried to take in what was in front of you. Peter stood behind the sofa, May sat down in front of him. To her right was Ned, and your heart leaped at seeing his face. To May’s left sat Kate and Jared from work, and you squinted at them in amazement. Your face was red with embarrassment, but it was mixed with immense happiness and shrouded in love. All these people; you loved them, cared for them; and they cared for you, too.

There wasn’t an Avenger in sight.

And you were almost happy about it.

“If I’d known you were all going to be here I would have dressed nicer,” You gestured to the mundane combo of high-waist black jeans and a cropped grey jumper as everyone around you chuckled. Debs placed a glass of white wine in your hand and a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Everyone, nibbles will be ready in twenty minutes or so,” Everyone but Jared and Kate ooed and aaed; they knew that Debs’ food was beyond the realm of good.

You instinctively went over to Ned first, you hadn’t seen him in so long and seeing him again almost brought tears to your eyes. “Neddy!” You encased him in a huge hug and he did the same to you; it was like being blasted back into your sophomore year at Midtown. “God, tell me everything, I want to know the entire contents of your life from graduation till now.”

“OK, I will. But first we’re getting someone to write down exactly what I say so that I can publish my biography soon,” It was an evening full of laughter, nostalgia and some really great food. Ned had got into Yale, and had been there for the past year; he’d completed one of three years in scientific analytics and communication and was well on the way to having a thriving career.

You glanced around the room and saw May having an intense conversation with Jared, while Peter chatted with Kate. You had a feeling that the two of them would get along, their personalities were really similar, in terms of interests as well as likeability. Jason came up beside you, wrapping his arm round you and squeezing affectionately. “Hey ‘pops’,” You said, and Jason’s face grew with blotchy colour.

“Take a seat, we wanna give you something,” You smiled like a five-year old and you catapulted yourself on the couch next to May, her hand grabbing yours and the two of you giggling like little girls at the mall. Peter stayed standing, a beer in his hand. He looked like a frat boy whenever he held a beer, even more so because he’d grown his hair out a little bit more since you’d last seen him, before Berlin.

Debs and Jason brought over two present bags and you bit your finger with excitement. “This is just a little something that we all chipped in to get you- I know how much you’ve wanted it and how you’ve just been sitting on the idea, waiting to do it, so-,”

“Debs you’re killing me!” Everyone chuckled and Debbie shoved the bag at you, a massive grin on her face. You teared at the tissue paper stuffed inside the bag and revealed a brown envelope. You picked it up and scanned the room for anyone who didn’t have a good poker face. You tore open the envelope in one swipe, your fingers fumbling to get the contents out of the card.

“No.” You said, as your eyes read what was on the bits of paper in front of you. “You guys bought me an inter-railing pass? Are you kidding me!” You shot up and couldn’t stop your body from jumping up and down. An inter-railing pass, for a month, at any date you chose to go. It would mean you could travel Europe, getting on any train that you wanted for free. You’d been looking at hostels and accommodation for months, just trying to figure out a way to see all that you wanted to see.

“It starts in Amsterdam, and you end up in London.” Jason said, and your eyes welled. England; you hadn’t been there since you left. “We also bought your ticket home, from Heathrow airport.”

Yeah, you were crying, and Debs encased you in a hug as you muttered thank you several times, over and over again. You went round the room, hugging everyone in turn and getting tears on their shoulders. You stood at the front once more, wiping your tears messily as you tried to compose yourself, a few giggles emerging from your mouth as you thought how utterly crazy this was. You looked at the tickets and documents in your hands again, and were completely overwhelmed. “God,” You said, as you traced over the words once more, your eyes hitting something on the page that made you stop as your voice got stuck. “Wait. This says it’s for two people.”

Your tear-filled eyes looked up, and you sniffed as you scanned the room once more. Peter; he didn’t have a very good poker face. “If you want company, I’m free,” He said, so casually yet your heart was on the brink of dying from how much it was beating.

“Are you joking! Yes, fucking yes!” You rushed towards him and encased him into a giant hug. You were going to Europe with your best friend. “Actually, on one condition-,” You removed yourself from him and smiled. “You’re bringing the suit, because I’m not paying for taxis.” Spider-Man and an ex-Avenger were going to Europe. You were almost dizzy from happiness.

“Oh, and this was left outside yesterday,” Jason handed you a black paper bag. “We assumed it was for you because your name was written on the outside of it.” In gold ink, your name shone on the side of the bag. How odd, that someone had sent it to Debbie and Jason in their new house instead of just the apartment. You opened the bag warily, and retrieved a smaller, leather black box.

You clicked it open, and inside was a small gold bracelet with a green set stone in the middle. You were utterly speechless. Who’d sent it? “What the hell?” You said as you instinctively tried it on; it fit perfectly. “Was there any card inside?” You shuffled through the rest of the bag and found a small piece of paper.

_Until you visit to our realm once more. Here is to many more happy birthdays._

Your mind immediately thought it was from Thor, but it didn’t seem very his style. He also didn’t know when your birthday was, or so you thought. No one had signed it, so it was meant to be confusing in some way, you assumed. And it really was. You put the paper back in the bag, along with the bracelet and its leather box. You didn’t feel comfortable wearing something when you didn’t know who had given it to you, or where it had come from.

“Hunny, it’s midnight.” Debs chimed in, and you smiled excitedly. “Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

Everyone mumbled a happy birthday, as Debs rushed into the kitchen stealthily and returned seconds later with a tray of cupcakes. This was amazing; you’d never thought your nineteenth birthday would be like this, but you were so glad it was.

You found yourself upstairs, needing to take a breather. In the second bedroom, the window exited out onto a small ledge, almost a balcony. You slid it open and climbed out, sitting down. Even from this distance to New York City, the faint lights on the Empire State Building shone so brightly, and you felt yourself ease into this new lifestyle that you had.

A pair of long, lanky legs stuck themselves out of the window, almost hitting you in the face. Peter shuffled out of the window, limbo style, but not as graceful or elegant as you had. “That was easy,” he slid to the floor, chuckling to himself about how he’d got through the small window. You placed your head on his shoulder as the two of you looked at the bright skyline, occasionally sipping from your drinks. It was blissful, to say the least, and everything felt like it was coming back together.

You’d been so lost a month ago, what with all the conflict the Sokovia Accords had created. And now here you were, the same place you’d been in two years ago at Peter’s seventeenth birthday, accept things were different; things had gone the way you wanted them to, despite some hiccups on the way.

You sighed, and thought about how you felt.

Happy. You were genuinely, utterly happy. For the first time since you’d moved, really.

You and Peter sat on that roof together, not saying a word. Neither of you spoke because there was simply nothing you needed to say. You were with your boy, your close friends and family were downstairs, sipping on wine and talking about things. It was like you were in a movie, but at the end when everything had come together, when all the dilemmas had been resolved.

Little did you know that this was simply the half way point, where the director made you believe everything would be fine. A dilemma was right around the corner, letting you savour your happiness as you took in the beautiful lights of New York City; your home; the city you loved;

The city where all of your problems hadn’t yet been solved. They hadn’t even begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inter-railing: it's a very British thing, where young adults or mostly 18 year olds choose to go and travel around Europe by train. it allows you to get on any inter-rail train between countries, so you can visit like 10 or so European countries in a month or so. 
> 
> (rip inter-railing though because of Brexit. I probably have about two years max if I wanna go inter-railing myself, haha)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry about this chapter taking a few days, and i feel like the pace is a little meh in it but oh well.
> 
> hope you enjoy it anyway!! and once again thank you for all of your continue doing support, kudos and comments!! Getting them make sure my day x

"There's got to be some way of reaching him, Sharon."

"Thor's been off the radar for longer than you have, though not as long as Banner has." You shut your eyes in frustration.

"So, what? There's no way I could possibly contact him? No Asgardian postal service?" Sharon huffed, you could tell she was disgruntled.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)."

Ever since you'd received that bracelet, your mind found it impossible to think of something other than Thor and Asgard. The note inside - _Until you visit to our realm once more_ \- it was all so odd sounding, yet you recognised the way it was written; it was definitely the formality in which Thor spoke.

You found yourself thinking back to after Sokovia, when Thor had said something about his father's right hand man speaking about you as if he knew you. What was his name again? You slumped on your bed, getting nothing. All you wanted to do was talk to Thor, but he was so far out of reach in Asgard, and you had no way of getting there.

Though your visit was brief, you could remember the feeling of being in Asgard; it was light, and warm. The floor had glinted rainbow colours, and the skies had shimmered gold. You only wish you'd been able to actually have a good explore around the beautiful realm, before passing out again.

It was like one of those cruel games - you can go to the magical land of Asgard, but you won't get to fully see it.

All of those Norse myths; they weren't myths anymore; Thor the God of Thunder, Loki the God of Mischief, Odin leader of Asgard.

Heimdall. The gatekeeper.

Heimdall. He guarded the Bifrost, he'd opened it when you had been falling with Sokovia.

Maybe he could open it again.

You rushed to your room and opened the black leather box that held the bracelet. You had no idea what you were doing, but you knew that you'd been transported to Asgard in some kind of light tunnel. It was late as you stumbled out onto the fire escape, travelling up to the roof of your apartment block and praying to god that no one saw you. You reached the roof and felt stupid; what were you gonna do? Say please?

"Uh, hey Heimdall. I don't know if you can hear me or see me, but you're magic, so y'know, you probably can." God, this was beyond stupid. He was probably up there in Asgard laughing to himself as you spoke to the sky. "Dunno if Thor's with you, but maybe you could give him a message if I can't come up and see him?"

You were a nineteen year old. Talking to a mythical figure in the sky. Holding a golden bracelet that had supposedly come from a magical land. Sometimes even your levels of acceptance reached a certain point. This was one of those times.

You looked at the ground, embarrassed. But the curiosity was killing you. "I was wondering if you could help me," you swivelled the bracelet around in your hand, the gold glinting in the dim Queens light. "This bracelet. I think it's Asgardian, but I can't be certain." Something inside of you suddenly told you to put the bracelet on, and you slipped your hand into it, resting the stone upwards on your wrist. It was beautiful, truly. "I don't know, Heimdall. I could use a lift-,"

In the darkness of Queens, the Bifrost opened and a light encased your entire body, levitating you upwards towards an entirely new realm. You tensed your body as you traveled in the light tunnel, your eyes glued shut, afraid that you'd see yourself so high up in the air once more. Heimdall had been listening, much to your utter amazement. But at that moment when you hit the rainbow tinted ground of Asgard, you found yourself laughing.

Laughing so genuinely.

It was incredible.

"(Y/N)," a bulking man stepped forward, removing his hands from the hilt of something stuck into the rainbow stone of the gate. The man, who you assumed was Heimdall, jutted his hand out for you take; which you did. "Welcome back."

"Yeah, ha," you hoisted yourself up with Heimdall's help and brushed yourself off, catching the golden glint from your bracelet. "I didn't think you'd listen." Heimdall let out a calm laugh, mixed with so much strength.

"I always listen, to those who desire it." Heimdall grabbed your wrist gently, surveying the bracelet- he smiled. "And to those that have the right elements.

"I've alerted Thor that you're here, he's in the palace. Just follow the road." Heimdall pointed out of the gate, to a rainbow road that stretched for miles, leading up to the Kingdom of Asgard itself. You gulped, and looked down.

"Ah, Heimdall. I don't really look like an Asgardian. Won't that draw attention to me?" With the wave of is hand, Heimdall created gold robes from the air itself, and they glistened as they wrapped themselves around you, concealing your very un-godlike clothes.

You followed the road, and witnessed Heimdall returning to his post, his eyes would forever be etched into your mind; so white, like pearls, pearls that had seen the entire universe.

The walk to the palace was magnificent, and your eyes couldn't take in enough of the world around you. You were getting overwhelmed by the sheer amount that Asgard held; waterfalls, moons, a fragrant smell wherever you went. It was amazing.

Why would anyone from here have sent you the bracelet? You were so different to the locals; they were beautiful, with long silky hair and robes of a million colours. The children were even dressed smartly, and followed alongside their parents sternly and maturely. Asgard was a futuristic world of wonder compared to Earth. And it was magical, which doubled its value in your eyes.

The palace loomed before you as you took in a large breath. The giant gold doors creaked open, and there stood Thor, his hammer dangling like another limb from his right hand. "(Y/N)!" Before you could step foot inside, Thor had picked you up in his arms and walked a few steps backwards, the golden doors closing as he let you go; his smile was a sight for sore eyes. "Come, I must give you the tour."

"Thor, wait-," this wasn't your typical vacation to a Norse kingdom, you were in Asgard for a reason. "I need your help." The prince turned and looked at you, his enthusiasm simmering to something more serious. He gestured to the left, and the two of you walked to a smaller room. You sat yourself down on a golden chair and Thor sat opposite, a table between the two of you. You slipped the bracelet off of your wrist slowly and placed it on the table.

Thor scanned the bracelet, his blue eyes glinting in the sunshine of Asgard. He picked it up gently, twisting it in his fingers. "Someone sent this to me, for my birthday. There was no name, only a note that sounded really odd."

"What did the note entail?" Thor spoke, his deep voice echoing throughout the room.

"Until you visit to our realm once more." You said, scanning Thor's face. He placed the bracelet back on the table.

"The bracelet is definitely Asgardian, it has a small imprint on the underside of the gem, proving it was hand-crafted here." You nodded; you knew it. But that still didn't explain why someone from Asgard would send it to you.

"Do you have any idea who could have sent it to me, Thor? I mean I know you're not a mind reader, but still." Thor gave you a pitiful smile, and shook his head slightly. He got up and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder as you stood up, too.

"Don't worry, (Y/N). Let's have a bite to eat before we continue the search for answers." Typical Thor, you chuckled to yourself as you followed the prince out of the smaller room. He took you through a small winding corridor, the walls were golden mosaic. The two of you entered a great hall, an oak table was in the centre and was big enough for over fifty or so people. From top to tail it was covered in food.

"Ah, Thor," a young woman came strolling into the room, and your mouth dropped. Her long black hair glinted down her back, and she donned golden armour. There was a silver sword at her hip; she looked like something out of Game of Thrones. She stopped, and stared at you in the face. "Don't tell me." You glanced at Thor; he looked slightly chuffed with himself. "A Midgardian?"

"Right again, Sif." The woman approached the two of you, and stuck her hand out sharply. You took it, despite being beyond nervous.

"I'm Sif. I fight for Asgard." You gulped.

"I'm (Y/N). I- work at the Apple Store." Sif continued to shake your hand, her eyes scanning you up and down, but stopping; on your wrist. She shook your hand more slowly now, her eyes examining the bracelet that you wore. "You don't know where it might of come from, do you?"

Sif looked up suddenly, removing her hand. She looked at Thor sternly, before turning back to you. "I know the last person who held this possession." You took a step back as the adrenaline rushed through you, thank god for Sif.

"Can you please take me to them, I need to know who gave it to me." Sif looked down at the golden tiled floor, her hair swinging elegantly. You were so nervous but excited to know who had given it to you, and why they had. You had so many questions racing through your mind that you could hardly pick out one from the bunch.

Sif turned to you, her eyes seeming different. "The last person to have this bracelet," she breathed in. "Was Loki."

"Loki?" You yelled, but Thor's face dropped. "Where is he then? Just warning you I may slap him, he's infiltrated my dreams, scared me for years, and I kinda want some pay-,"

"He's dead." You stopped short.

Thor, yourself and Sif sat around the grand oak table as you listened to Thor's story of what had happened in the months he'd been away. Jane Foster had been possessed by a power called the Ether. Herself, Thor and Loki had wanted to kill two birds with one stone, so they set about destroying the Ether while also abolishing a very dangerous being named Maleketh. Loki had been killed in the battle. "And I thought I had it bad over the past few months." You muttered, placing your hand over Thor's and smiling reassuringly. The prince sighed.

"I'd love to help you, (Y/N). But if the last person Lady Sif knew had the bracelet was Loki, that's as far as we can assist you at this time." You nodded. Well, at least you'd been able to see Asgard this time. And it was worth a shot, your curiosity was something very difficult to repress.

The door to the hall opened, and in walked a short, stout man with white hair and a golden eyepatch. Next to him stood a taller, lankier man; you couldn't see his face under his golden helmet, besides his eyes. "Father." Thor stood, as did Sif. She bowed as Odin came closer, and you found yourself flustered. You shot up and copied what Sif had done, not saying a word.

"Another Midgardian, Thor? You know the Bifrost is to be opened for more important matters." Jeez, harsh. You looked down at the ground.

"Forgive me, majesty." A different voice boomed across the hall, and you looked up. Odin's right hand man was taking off his helmet, and your eyes widened. Your throat threatened to close up, and your heart pounded with no relief. Ander held his helmet by his side and strode forward.

He stopped a metre from you, a smile on his face. The face of someone who had raised you; badly; but nevertheless, raised you. Your father scanned you, taking in every detail, as you continued to stare in disbelief at him standing in front of you. "I believe it's my fault that this Midgardian felt it necessary to pay a visit to our realm."

"Ander." Thor spoke, his mind seeming to click. "You're-,"

"(Y/N)'s father." He smiled. The only name you'd known your father by was Andrew, I suppose it sounded similar to Ander. Bruce had been right; your father had been living off of Earth. You gulped, shutting your mouth and trying incessantly to calm yourself down.

"Happy belated birthday, (Y/N)." Your father looked around the room, his eyes glinting in the now dwindling light of the beautiful realm.

"Welcome home."

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! enjoy this, cause I enjoyed writing it. its kinda funny, at least to me.
> 
> also, wtfff?? I'm almost at 3k hits???? ahhhh!!! I am honestly so thankful. the comments and kudos you all give me make my day, and the fact that I have so many regulars (you know who you are) you constantly come back to this story amazes me. you're all wonderful and I appreciate your support soooo much. I'm super close to 150 kudos as well which is literally amazing??? I never thought it would get this big and I'm astounded that I personally have managed to keep writing it lmao. I always seem to give things up, but this time I'm actually enjoying writing it most days, and then having the reward of seeing you guys enjoying my writing after!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this, lads. yeye

You sat in silence as your father kept asking you questions to fill the awkwardness. 

"How was school? Graduation?"

"What are doing now? College?"

"Have you found yourself a boyfriend? Girlfriend?" 

It was endless, and you didn't answer any of them. That initial amazement had turned into rage. Deep, red, rage. Your father was secretly Asgardian; magick; the right hand man to the King of a magical land. And he hadn't bothered to tell you at all. 

"Does mum know?" You muttered, ignoring all of his other questions. Ander sighed, and placed his fork on his plate. It made a clang sound. Everyone was sat around the grand oak table, trying to have a nice meal. By the looks of everyone's faces you knew they felt the tension in the air. 

"Yes. She knows." You stabbed your fork into a piece of meat on your plate. It stayed upright when you let go. 

"Any reason why you didn't think it was necessary to tell your  _only daughter_  that you were in fact a thousand year old Asgardian and who, oh in fact, passed on his magical ability to his child, no that didn't occur to you one bit?" The words were tumbling out now, like word vomit. You couldn't stop them from overflowing anymore. "And you didn't in fact  _give a shit_ about me or mum enough to actually be around and raise me with her and love us because we are your fucking family, Andrew." 

You glanced around the room, everyone had stopped eating, their forks and knives lying down on their plates neatly. You grabbed your fork and yanked it out of your food, lying it down like the others. "Perhaps, this is a conversation we should have privately." Ander muttered, his jaw clenched. 

That was it. 

You pushed yourself up from the table, fuming, and headed for the exit to the palace. You weren't going to have this. He was acting as if everything was normal, like he hadn't been out of your life for the past five years, and practically for most of your life. 

Thor ran after you, and caught you just before you reached the door. "(Y/N), please wait." You stopped where you were, the tears threatening to fall. Thor encased you in a hug immediately, but you didn't overflow. "Stay for one night, there is a ball happening in the palace tonight. I'd like you to come." You separated from Thor and gave him a smile.

"I'm not sure I'd be any fun." Thor let out a breathy laugh, as if he couldn't believe what you were saying. 

"You make any gathering grand." Thor may not be that well acquainted with Midgardians, but he sure knew the right things to say. 

-

Two hours later, you were sat in a guest bedroom, your hands swiping up and down on the dress you'd been given to wear. It was an off gold colour, and silky to the touch. It glided across your skin comfortably, and a thin sash was tied around your waist. "This is Asgardian attire. We enjoy dressing up smartly, it's like we're giving back to the beautiful world around us." Sif straightened your sash. She'd given you make up too. She smiled, but you couldn't help the nerves coursing through your body. "You are Asgardian." 

You looked up at her, tracing her face. "I don't feel it." 

"Well, you look it." Sif smiled at you as you felt your nerves dissipate a tad. You followed her as she swayed her hips towards the great hall, though you couldn't move your body as nicely as she could. 

The two of you entered, and the scene in front of you was like something from a period drama on TV. Men and women stood mingling, wearing extravagantly elegant dresses and tunics. It took your breath away even more when you looked at the ceiling; it was sparkling gold, like the mosaic corridor, but even more so. It was utterly magnificent. 

"Ah, my two favourite ladies!" Thor came bounding over, and Sif squinted at him. "Well, there's also Jane Foster." Thor tapped his cup, and you laughed at the look of awkwardness on his face. Sif placed her arm on your shoulder before she strolled away from the prince and yourself. She was almost encapsulating, and she reminded you of someone; Pepper. "You look radiant, (Y/N)." Thor spoke, his voice sinking into you. You really had missed him, and it made you happy that now you could visit Asgard freely. You were Asgardian, after all. Thor stuck his arm out for you to take, and you did with a small smile plastered on your face.

"You don't look too shabby yourself, Thor." The prince lead you around the room, introducing you to the other party-goers. You smiled and shook hands, mostly. Though one large man with a ginger beard tried to kiss you as soon as he saw you. Needless to say, Thor and yourself practically ran away from him. 

Thor had given you a drink of some kind and it burned as it slipped down your throat. Though it was almost addictive; you'd practically finished the whole tankard. Your body felt so much more relaxed, and when you laughed it hit your stomach more intensely. Thor held onto you tightly, an amused look on his face as he lead you towards yet another person. "(Y/N), this is your father's apprentice." Your eyes came into focus as you took in the face in front of you.

His eyes were dazzlingly green, and he had short black hair that sat lazily atop his head, though the style suited him. His face was square, and his shoulders were broad. He stuck his hand out gently towards you and you took it into your own. "I'm Erik. It's nice to finally meet the person that Ander has talked about on multiple occasions." 

"Hey Erik. Could we not talk about my dad right now?" You muttered suddenly, and realised how rude you'd been. Thor patted you gently as he ran off to deal with the same ginger bearded man, and you were left with Erik. He smiled, unoffended.

"I think it's called 'breaking the ice'." You chuckled with him, and took in his appearance once more. 

"The ice is broken, it's broken." 

"What's broken?" Ander came up behind you, and immediately your face dropped. You took a step back and found yourself gripping Erik for stability. "Ah, you've met Erik, I see." 

"Yes, Sir." Erik said, a smile on his face. It looked forced. 

"Well, (Y/N), I want you to meet some people." At those words, two men approached you and Erik. They looked about mid to late twenties, and had the same blue eyes you'd got from your father. They both looked like him, as well. "This is Jakob, and this is Bryan." You stared at the two of them, your mind seeming the fall against something that you didn't want to believe was true. "They're your half-brothers." 

To your surprise, Erik's hand had found yours. He squeezed your hand gently, and you were immediately put at ease. You were starting to think your father had no understanding of other people's emotions. You took a breath in as your half-brothers stared at you awkwardly. Evidently, they weren't enjoying this meeting either. "Er, hello." You muttered, and they both made a sound in between laughing and groaning. You were panicking now, and found yourself turning towards Erik for support. He caught on, obviously. 

"Excuse me, it seems Thor gave (Y/N) some of the locally brewed ale and it's gone straight to her head." Like Thor, Erik lead you out of the great hall and to a small balcony that jutted out of the golden mosaic corridor. You breathed in the fragrant Asgardian air and immediately felt better, though at the same time it was as if you could feel your heart cracking beneath your chest. "I may not know Midgardians very well, but even I knew that was incredibly insensitive." 

"Don't worry about it." You muttered, starting to feel slightly sick. The gold bracelet around your wrist started to feel incredibly cold against the metal of the outside balcony. Erik leaned against the balcony next to you, his eyes peering down at your wrist.

"That bracelet," you looked up at him. "You know Prince Loki made it, while he was imprisoned in the palace. He made three of them." You furrowed your brows at him. 

"How do you know that?" Your heart thumped dramatically in your chest. 

"I'm Ander's apprentice, (Y/N). I know almost all of the information that he knows." You looked back out at the scene of Asgard, taking in every detail. 

"It's stupid." Erik leaned closer to you on the balcony. "It's stupid that he thought he could win me back with a bracelet."

"Who?" Erik spoke, his tone changing slightly, as if he were annoyed. 

"Andrew- Ander. My dad. It was my damn birthday present from him. After five years." That word vomit was happening again. "I could have easily gone the rest of my life not giving a shit about who he really was, or where he was, or why he was never home. Easily! But then he has to, gah! Get involved again, in the most cowardly way of sending me a fucking piece of jewellery. I mean, who does that?" You fiddled with the gem of the bracelet, and found yourself taking it off. 

You glared at the bracelet in your hands, wanting it to have never been sent to you, wanting it to just disappear for good. "I just wish it was gone." You whispered to yourself, though you saw Erik's head turn so suddenly towards you. 

You twirled the bracelet in your hand, the metal feeling odd in your fingers. You had the sudden urge to throw it off of the balcony, into the realm that stood below you, into the ocean that flowed underneath the rainbow bridge, or even into the Biforst. You took a step backwards, steadying yourself, before bringing your arm back towards your face, ready the throw the bracelet away for good.

Then you were winded. Everything moved slowly, but Erik jumped in front of you, his hand grabbing at the bracelet while the other punched your chest. You flew backwards into the door to the balcony, clutching your chest painfully, your vision dipping in and out of focus. "You complete fool!" Erik erupted, his hand grappled around the bracelet as if it were his life source. "You're such an ignorant, naive child." 

"Child?" You huffed, coughing as you tried to get the air back to your lungs. In front of you, it was as if Erik was morphing into something else. The outline of his body shimmered gold, and then he was gone without a trace. Left in his place;

"You really thought your father sent you this? You really thought he'd remember your birthday, or even care enough?" Loki paced in front of you, his face etched in your mind forevermore. Your body froze completely, and the slow thumps of your heart counted down the seconds that you had to get away, dwindling with every pump. "I knew with a note so vague that you'd catch on, that you'd find a way to get here." Loki approached you suddenly, his arm leaning against the door right by your head. You wanted to shrivel up completely.

As he stood there, his breathing was erratic, his voice low and in whisper. His hair was long and black, swiped off of his face. His eyes were the most piercing of green, and his face was a thing of beauty; and destruction. He glared at you with a mixture of malice and deep lust, his eyes tracing the outlines of your face as you looked up at him in unimaginable fear; like you were meeting the dark figure from your nightmares; the monster that lived under your bed; the creature that lurked in the shadows whenever you turned your back. 

You tried so hard not to shake, to stand your ground, to will your arms to move enough for you to make an escape, to go and run to Thor. But your limbs were ice. Your breath was cold. Your throat was dry. The magnitude of feelings that you felt in that moment was overwhelming, and it was as if Loki's mere aura was changing the air around you.

Loki's other hand came up to your face, his fingers swiping down your cheek slowly. You gulped, and willed your body to show anything but fear. All Loki did was smile. "You are so easy to read, (Y/N). Your nightmares, your secret conversations, you wear your fears on your very skin for the whole world to see." He swiped a stray hair strand behind your ear. "Why are you afraid of me?" 

You made yourself look him in the eye, despite the feeling of wanting to curl into a ball. "I'm not afraid of you." Your voice was surprisingly steady as you spoke, the fear rippling throughout your entire body. Loki laughed, and it sent shivers through you. 

"You get an A for effort." Loki retracted himself from you, looking out over the balcony. You still wouldn't allow yourself to move, the adrenaline in your body was keeping you in place. "This kingdom. It belongs to me. Always such a pity when all of your people think you're dead." 

"They're not your people." You muttered, feeling stronger suddenly. You wondered if there was anyway to signal Thor from here, if you could will the ground you stood on to send him a message, anything. 

Or perhaps; Heimdall. 

Loki lunged himself at you, and you inhaled, holding your breath. His face was an inch from yours; you shut your eyes, but could still sense him being so close to you. "Do you know why I wanted you to come to Asgard?" 

You shook your head, your eyes still glued shut. You gulped. Your body flinched every time Loki breathed, every time he moved the tiniest amount. "Open your eyes, (Y/N)." 

And you opened them. That's what fear did. It restricted your ability to be rational, to be strong. It took away all of the elements that kept you in control. Loki placed his hand on your cheek, but you didn't falter, despite how much you wanted to chop that hand off of his body. "Think of it; a world with a being so powerful. A being with the power of magick, as well as the powers of the elements. Someone that even Thanos cannot defeat." You furrowed your brows at him. 

"Are you telling me, you brought me here to- hit on me?" Your adrenaline was disappearing as quickly as it had arrived. 

"Our children, they'd be at the top of the genetic chain." You found yourself smiling; actually smiling at one of the most dangerous men in the universe. You stifled a laugh as you ran over the situation; Loki had made you come to Asgard so you and he could have kids? What?

You looked the prince in his eyes, your mouth agape in a half smile. "Are you fucking joking?" Loki stepped back, and you could see the anger in his eyes. It just made you laugh even more. "That's so fucking ridiculous!" Tears were spouting from your eyes as the giggles escaped your body in bursts. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Loki asked, his voice quiet. Despite your laughing, you were thinking of a plan. The bracelet; perhaps you could try communicating to Heimdall through it again. You continued to giggle, your hand launching at Loki's, as if you were holding it for stability. 

"Oh my god, you crack. Me. Up." Slowly, you slipped the bracelet off of his wrist while he was trying to comprehend your reaction to his behaviour, and suddenly, you stopped laughing, wiping away some of your tears as you tried to put on the bracelet, one-handedly. 

You looked at Loki's face as he glared at you, probably imagining several ways to decapitate you while you slept. "You Midgardians. So foolish, so inept, so unable to comprehend situations with your stupid, small minds. So incapable of thinking, of understanding, of-,"

"Escaping? Nah, I got it covered." In one motion, you encased Loki in air, shoving the bracelets gem in the direction of the gate; Heimdall. 

The small tornado kept twisting as you willed your legs to move, and you were running back towards the great hall. You had no clue if Heimdall had heard you, or if he'd even be able to do anything, but at least you'd got away from that psycho. I mean really? Kids? 

You ran into the great hall, pushing open the doors with such force. "Thor!" The prince was already running towards you, from the look on his face he knew what was going on. 

"Where is he?" 

"The balcony!" You yelled, as the prince strode past you, the hammer gripped in his hand. Thor threw Mjölnir then, and five seconds later a bang was heard from the corridor. You ran towards the door, and stopped just short of Thor.

He stood over Loki as Mjölnir sat on his chest; he couldn't move. He wasn't worthy, of course. "(Y/N), could you assist me in taking Loki to the prison." You nodded then, the fear still present in body despite getting away from Loki. It was as if you were in shock from how you'd managed to act, how you'd laughed in the face of imminent danger in the form of some Norse god who wanted you to have his damn kids. God. 

You willed the air to wrap itself around the trickster, and you walked with Thor all the way to the prisons below the palace. "I'll deal with you in the morning." Thor said, his rage to breaking point. Loki was back in his cell, the look on his face one of mischief, but also upset. Thor left, but you willed yourself to stay. You stood, arms crossed, as Loki paced his cell. 

"What is your obsession with ruling Asgard?" Loki turned his back on you. You took a step closer to his cell, the curiosity bubbling inside of you now. "You could have a good life if you just stopped trying to sit on that damn throne. You could be happy." 

"There is no happy or unhappy. There is only inferior and superior." You furrowed your brows at the back of his head. 

"And you called me naive. At least I know there's always a choice." You heard his breath in and out. He turned round now, strolling towards you as you looked up at him in his cell, like some kind of caged animal. 

"Maybe you get a choice. I don't anymore." You huffed, tusking. 

"I suppose people lost trust after you tried to invade Midgard." He smiled at you a little, though his eyes were raging.

"I suppose they did." He said it through clenched teeth, but he was helpless. You headed towards the exit of the prison, your dress swaying. "You've got to admit our children would at least be attractive." You felt as if you were about to be sick, and you were just starting to get to know Loki. 

You stopped, turning back to the prison, your face clear of all fun. "You. Repel. Me." Loki frowned, his eyes staring at you, encapsulating. His form shimmered, and in his place stood two people;

Tony and Steve. 

The breath hitched in your throat, and in three steps, Loki's cell was out of sight. 

You didn't look back, not even to etch their faces in your mind once more. 

Not even when the tears fell gently down your face and your body ached at how much you missed them. 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20 chapters!! Holy shit!!
> 
> also guys, Jesus, 3k hits??? This is insane and I am so grateful!!
> 
> i really hope you enjoy this chapter, we're heading into a new kinda plot rn lol. 
> 
> enjoy!! X

Two knocks sounded from your door, and then the subtle click of the handle moving woke you. It was late and the light from outside was dim. "I'm sorry, ah, for coming so late." Ander shut the door as you switched on the light next to your bed. You sat up, and he stood awkwardly a few metres from you. "I just wanted to say that- um, you're very brave, and-,"

"Please shut up. I don't want to hear it." You croaked out.

"I know I've been a rubbish excuse for a father. I wasn't even supposed to have gone to Midgard in the first place."

"So what? You still had a child with her. You still had a responsibility to uphold."

"I had responsibilities here, too, (Y/N). I have responsibilities. But- I'm just." He looked down at his feet. There was something inside of you that kept telling you to yell at him to leave. Though, there was a small twang of pity. "I only wish I'd actually been the one to send you a birthday present. To invite you to Asgard. To have told you the truth about myself a long time ago.

"You're my daughter. And I don't regret that. Not one bit." You sat in silence as Ander moved towards you, sitting on the edge of your bed. He was putting his heart on his sleeve. Even while growing up you'd never seen him show much emotion. "I just-,"

"Apology accepted." Your father looked up, astounded. You were being somewhat truthful, or maybe somewhat avoiding of the subject in general. But you could see your father's sincerity, you could see that he was sorry for all the years that had passed without contact.

Ander smiled shyly, and knew that it was his queue to leave. He patted his knees and raised up, strolling slowly to the door and clicking it shut.

You didn't sleep after that. You stayed up and watched the Asgardian sun rise from the West, glittering across the golden realm.

-

How mundane it was to change back into your Midgard clothes. You looked at yourself in the mirror and saw yourself, just yourself. Not an Asgardian, not an Avenger; just you. You smiled, you were content with just you.

"As an Asgardian, you are granted citizenship here." Odin spoke sternly. He was intimidating, but you saw that he simply wanted the best for his kingdom. Thor stood proudly beside him, and you knew that one day he'd take over from his father, and he would excel.

"Thank you, majesty." You curtsied awkwardly, going slightly red. Odin let out a single quiet chuckle, and it made you feel accepted.

"Ready to go, (Y/N)." Thor spoke, and you turned to him, clearing your throat slightly. Were you ready to leave? With so many unanswered questions?

"Actually, I have one request."

"Oh look, it's my biggest fan." Loki sat in his cell, reading a book. He licked his fingers and turned the page, acting as if he didn't care about your presence at all. You sat on the steps outside his cell and he immediately put his book down.

"I thought I'd never encounter you, and now that I have, I- just,"

"Don't tell me you're here to tell me you've fallen in love with me?" You knew he was joking, wanting to annoy you in some way, but he was actually quite funny.

"Far from it, I'm afraid." You glanced at the trickster god and found him smiling, surprisingly.

"Ah. I believe the Midgardian word is 'bummer'." Loki stood up from his seat, strolling over to the edge of his prison and elegantly sitting on the floor. The two of you sat in silence as you thought of what to say, of why you'd wanted to talk to him before you left.

There was something about him that screamed helpless, like he was a child inside a China doll, trying to get out but not wanting to crack. Loki had said he could read you, and it rattled you that he could; Erik had understood you.

Erik was him.

"Can I give you some advice?" You asked, and you saw Loki's amused smile. He scoffed, and shuffled on the floor.

"I am a thousand and twenty six years old. But OK." You laughed at that, a full on chuckle. He looked so young, so pristine, yet he'd already lived over ten of your lifetimes.

"Stop pretending that having power equates to being happy." Yours eyes darted to his, and his face was solemn, in thought. "If you do that, maybe you'll actually figure out what makes you happy in this world, because I know it's not being in this cell."

"You know that, do you?" He smirked at you.

"Yes. I do." You were stern and serious. You'd never thought you'd care, but seeing someone so deeply unhappy, so misunderstood while being so aware of their troubles; it struck a chord with you. "You got yourself locked up by trying to get to me. You wouldn't have done it unless you knew it was what you really desired; and that desire was to have power."

"Does that not make power my happiness?"

"No, I don't think it does." Loki breathed deeply and his eyes flashed; you'd got him. And he knew that you had. His knees clicked as he raised himself from the floor and you got up yourself.

He strolled back towards his chair, but didn't sit. He stayed standing as his eyes traced over you once more, his face looking the most normal you'd ever seen it. He bowed his head once, then sat, picking up his book and flicking it open to his last page.

You knew that was it.

You couldn't stop yourself from smiling subtly as you left the prisons and strolled through the beautiful courtyards, then the rainbow bridge, leading to the gatehouse.

"I trust your visit was... interesting." Heimdall said, his lips curling into a smile.

"You could say that, I suppose."

"And the bracelet?" Heimdall stared at your bare wrists. You smiled to yourself, turning to the entrance of the Bifrost.

As Heimdall opened the vortex, you were encased in light, but your mind was still thinking of your final encounter;

Perhaps the bracelet would be lost in plain sight forever, sitting mundanely on the steps in front of Loki's prison cell, craving the sunlight that made it glimmer in the Asgardian sun; at least it was home.

And you were on your way.

-

"Asgard? Like, _the_ Asgard?" Peter sat on his sofa as you told him everything, his eyes wide, like he was fifteen again.

"Yeah, I know right. What else could get even more upside down?" You huffed and collapsed onto one of the large sofa cushions. You hadn't been to Peter's and May's apartment in so long, but it felt like the right thing to do after getting back from Asgard.

"Was Thor there?" May said quietly from the kitchen, her eyes meeting yours for a fraction of a second before flicking back to the counter, a small smile curled on her lips.

You smirked at her as her cheeks went red. "He's the reason I went to Asgard. So yeah, he was there."

"Loki, though." Peter's expression changed suddenly, and he looked at you with so much concern.

"I don't deny it was, ah, probably the most terrifying experience of my life? But, in the end, it was fine. Really, Peter." He placed his hand on your knee gently, and you smiled as you slid your body closer to his. He wrapped his arms around you and you giggled. "When are you back at college?"

"Two days. But only one more month and then that's my first year done." He squeezed you then, and you were secretly delighted at the fact you'd get Peter back for four whole months before his second year. "After my finals we can talk about inter-railing. If you want."

You squirmed in his grip, twisting your body to drape your arms round his neck, your grin gleaming in his face. "Yes yes yes yes!" You moved your head forward, wanting to kiss him, but you hesitated, stopping yourself.

Things were complicated between you two. Were you together? Were you not? It was odd. Peter noticed your hesitation, and his face changed. He gripped your neck lovingly and placed his lips upon yours suddenly. He pulled away, and you saw the shit eating grin etched on his face. "What are we?" He spoke melodramatically, bringing his hand up to his forehead and draping it back.

You laughed with him, at his stupidity; his beautiful, idiotic, pretty face; his amazing personality. You were lucky to have him in your life. "I don't know." You laughed in response. Neither of you knew, but it was, what it was. It felt right.

Peter cleared his throat hesitantly, furrowing his eyebrows. "Have you- heard anything from the Avengers?" You blinked a few times as Peter's words hit you. You hadn't, not one bit. And you were happy that way.

Happy.

Right?

Your life would be so much less complicated, so much easier without them than if you were still surrounded by them. Besides, the Secretary of State was still campaigning to get the accords agreed, so they wouldn't be the same. It was clear that the world needed the Avengers, but the group was split right down the middle; it was broken.

But you missed them. A lot.

You knew that, after the accords had inevitably been agreed, 'Team Iron-Man' would still be working for the world. It remained unknown what the others would do; they were still in the penitentiary, as far as you knew. And Steve and Bucky were off the grid.

Bruce and Thor were the smart ones; they'd stayed out of it all. They knew it wasn't worth it with Steve and Tony acting the way they had.

You got up from the sofa, the look on your face telling Peter your answer. You hadn't heard anything at all. Nothing.

And it worried you.

-

"Hey, you heading home via Times Square?" Jared asked, his palms clapping against the iPhone 7 table. The two of you were locking up for the night.

"I'm never going home via Times Square again." You chuckled, and Jared squinted at you in confusion. You saw his face and huffed. "Every time something remotely bad happened with the Avengers I always found out at Times Square after locking up, OK?"

"Ah, so you're superstitious?"

"Or maybe just, traumatised." The two of you laughed it out, and you grabbed your bag. The two of you left the store and Jared locked up. "Night, Jared."

"Night!" He waved sweetly as the two of you went in opposite directions.

It had been a good day; you'd had ten appointments, all of which resulted in someone fixing or buying a product. You were moving up in the scheme of things in the store, and other employees would often come to you when they were struggling. It made you feel good, considering you were the youngest member of the New York Apple Store team.

You sat on the subway, looking out the window contently. _Stolen Dance_ by Milky Chance had been your current 'listen on repeat' song; you'd been listening to it for four straight days, and still you weren't sick of it.

Your music cut off suddenly, and you checked your phone as Peter's name shone out on the screen. "Hey, you." You said, picking up the phone.

"Where are you?" His voice was frantic, beyond belief, and immediately your heart dropped as the anxiety started to eat your insides.

"On the subway. What's wrong, Peter."

"It's on the news, I didn't know what to do-,"

"Just tell me." you gulped as you tried to slow your heart rate. Peter was silent on the other end of the line for a minute or so, but your mouth couldn't create words.

"Next week at a UN conference in New York, the Secretary of State will propose that the Avengers initiative be shut down completely."

You stared at your reflection in the window of the subway. Your eyes were wide, and your forehead was beaded with sweat. Your jaw was locked shut, and it looked as if you weren't breathing. You squinted really hard, and saw your body slowly bloat, then exhale; you were alive.

"He's going to terminate the Avengers. Indefinitely."

You stared at your reflection once more, and looked at your face. A face that had been on many cameras, had been the object of speculation from many people worldwide. A face that was, at the end of the day, forgettable.

The Avengers, however; they were unforgettable. They were needed.

Without them, the world would collapse. Without them, everything would go to shit.

You hung up the phone.

The only way the Avengers would be terminated, was over your dead fucking body.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry this chapter took longer than I wanted. I sprained my ankle last week and just haven't had any motivation or inspiration to write, despite this being the chapter that made me want to start writing this fanfic in the first place.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> on another note: please recommend me some of your favourite avengers fanfics (or other fandoms fanfics) on here because I am stuck on what to read!! 
> 
> Also, would you guys want me to have a go and maybe writing a series of one shots?? pls tell me!!
> 
> x

"The conference is being held in City Hall.” Peter placed his finger on the map in front of you both. "In a few days."

You looked up and your eyes glazed over, your thoughts taking over completely. Peter glanced at you warily, as if he knew that you were going to intervene. You breathed in deeply, and exhaled through your nose. "I need to get into that building." 

"(Y/N), look-," Peter knew that look in your eyes. He knew you. Grabbing your hand, he shuffled closer to you on the couch. "Please don't feel like you need to get involved. They've done this to themselves-,"

"The Avengers can't be shut down, Peter."

"I know, but-,"

"There are no 'buts' with this!" You shot up from the sofa and started pacing. "If the Avengers go down, so does the world. This Earth and everyone on it; dead." Peter looked down. You were right, and he knew you were.

You knew that the Secretary of State would never let any official Avengers in the building if he was going to campaign against them. And that wasn't fair at all. Ross was a politician; a sleaze ball. A liar. A fake. Claiming he wants what's best for his country.

It's all a lie. He simply wants to show off his power.

If he was actually smart, he would have realised that the Avengers were the pillars of the world. They kept it safe. They guarded and protected it and everyone on it. 

"You're being your typical self, (Y/N)." Peter stood up from the sofa, a scowl on his face.

"What?" 

"You're such a damn good person that you put yourself out in situations that you don't need to worry about. Situations that drain your energy unnecessarily." You stared at him, your eyebrows furrowed. "Why can't you be selfish just this once? You're exhausted, (Y/N). I can see it." He placed his hands gently on your shoulders and you felt his warmth. He was trying to be nice, but the way it came across offended you immensely. You backed away from him and his face dropped, knowing that you didn't want to listen.

"I'll call you later." The words left your mouth blankly.

"(Y/N)-,"

"See you, Peter." 

You tried not to, but his front door still slammed. 

-

You walked home silently, the humid and dense Queens air seeming to settle uncomfortably on your shoulders. How would you get away with this? With getting into a UN conference? Romanoff had gone to the last one in Vienna, and that had simply been the beginning of all of the Avengers biggest problems. 

Your mind kept wandering to where the hell they all were, now. Where was Steve? Where was Bucky? The others? You had to steady yourself on the wall of an apartment block as your thoughts trailed to Clint, Wanda; the others; all locked up in that penitentiary still. Clint had a family, three children and a wife. They were all people, all friends.

And Tony had locked them up. 

You shut your eyes as you continued to lean on the wall, trying to swallow down your tears despite having a dry throat. "(Y/N)?" You swivelled around so fast, and found yourself falling directly into Jared. He placed his arms securely around you, and you ceased to breath as your eyes hit his.

"Jared, hi," you backed away from him and tried to compose yourself. He didn't buy it at all. "What are you doing in Queens?" 

"I, ah-," he chuckled awkwardly to the floor. "I was coming to check on you, to be honest." You smiled at him for a second, before your face dropped. Jared was a good person, a great friend, but you didn't know if he still liked you the way he did before. 

You raised your eyebrows over-enthusiastically at him. "I'm all good. All checked." He furrowed his brows at you, a smirk appearing on his face. You weren't in the mood for this right now. "Thanks, Jared. But I'm good." You started walking away from him, and he lunged at you.

Your heart thumped uncomfortably as his arms were wrapped around you, his face slotted between your cheek and shoulder. "(Y/N), please," he whispered. You shuddered, panic starting to set in. 

You needed to get out. Jared was nice, yes, but this was beyond the realm of OK behaviour. Why was he acting so strange? "Jared. You're making me really uncomfortable." You spoke the words blankly, and he immediately let go, taking a good three steps back from you. 

You breathed shakily, the unannounced contact from him still having shocked you. "I-," he began, yet you turned around as quickly as you could, running around the next apartment block corner before he could get to you again. 

You don't know how long you stood there for, just waiting for him to be gone so he couldn't follow you home. What was that all about? You asked yourself that easily answered question over and over again, yet it still didn't cement itself inside of you. It was obvious; Jared still had some mixed feelings about the fact you weren't really up for seeing him. 

But you were also concerned for yourself. You'd never thought you'd be one to become afraid at non-consensual contact, you thought you'd be the one to shout at them, tell them to 'Back the fuck up!'

But you'd done nothing of the sort with him. It was as if you were frozen. Too afraid to move. 

Like when Loki had revealed himself. 

After fifteen minutes, you finally allowed your body to move. The adrenaline had calmed down enough for you to have a slow walk back to your apartment, but the anxious pit in the bottom of your stomach was still eating up your insides. 

You couldn't remember a time where your mental health had been this bad. 

Maybe Peter had been right about you being exhausted.

-

"I'm really sorry to let down the team, Kate." You spoke down the phone. Kate chuffed on the other end. 

"Don't be silly, (Y/N). This is the first day you've ever not been able to do a shift since you first started here." That made you smile slightly. Kate was a genuine friend in your eyes, and probably had the funniest reaction to finding out about you by far.

"I'm just gonna- have a sit down," Kate grappled for a stool next to the Genius Bar, her eyes hadn't blinked for a good minute. You were trying not to laugh, so was Jared. You gently stroked her shoulder as you noticed her breathing deepen. 

"You OK? Still on planet Earth?" She looked up at you and furrowed her eyebrows.

"You're kidding right? I'm more than OK, (Y/N). I'm fantastic!" She looked at you like you were crazy, like you couldn't see her obvious freak out right in front of your eyes. You scoffed at her, your eyes slightly full of concern.

"Sure, Kate. Alright." She noticed your sarcasm immediately and looked at you with a frown. You raised an eyebrow at her, and her face changed; she began chuckling.

"Ooh, I get it. You think I'm freaking out about _you._ " A giggle trickled from her lips. "No no no, I mean I'm shocked and frankly jealous of you right now. I'm freaking out about the other thing." 

You and Jared turned towards each other questioningly. What other thing? 

You turned back to Kate, your hair flicking in your eyes. You blew it out of your face quickly. Kate looked from you to Jared and back again, then shuffled on her seat. "You know. The _other_ thing," she squinted her eyes like you were all in on what the hell she was saying. Still, nothing. "God do I have to spell it out?" Kate shot up from the stool and headed to behind the Genius Bar.

"The Avengers. The others. Tony Stark. Steve Rogers. That big hunk Thor. His psychopathically sexy brother Loki." Kate stuck her tongue out of her mouth and nodded at you as if what she'd said was the most casual thing in the world. Needless to say, Jared burst out laughing. 

You, however, were hit with a wave of nausea. Ew. "Not to mention Spider-Man. Literally every time I see him on the news I'm just staring at his ass-,"

"OK, Kate. You can stop now." Jared stopped laughing as best he could at that comment, but his chuckles were still making a definite appearance. You went red, entirely, and started pacing the shop, looking to see if any of the products were off their chargers. 

"No way." Kate spoke up suddenly, her eyes trailing over to Jared and then to you. "Don't tell me Spider-Man actually took you on that date and you guys _hooked_ up-,"

"Kate-,"

"You are telling me each and every detail!" She rushed towards you and shook your shoulders playfully. You loved her a ton, but frankly, this was not how you thought she'd take the news about you at all. "Is he cute? Is he even a he? What colour are his eyes? What colour is his-,"

"That's enough, Kate." Jared boomed from the other side of the room. His face was stern, all traces of those giggles were no where to be seen anymore. 

It got awkward after that. And the conversation ended abruptly.

"Ha, I suppose." Kate shuffled on the other end of the phone, and you could hear Jared distinctly in the back. 

_'Tell her I'm sorry, will you-'_

_'Why would I do that? No.'_

_'Just please-,'_

"Anyway I better go. The iPhone 8 launch is today, as you know." The phone went dead. And your stomach dropped. Jared was being so weirdly out of character. Something was up, but you didn't have the energy to care right now. Not with the conference being tomorrow.

You'd plotted your way into the building like you were a detective. It was easy, to be honest. Anyone can get into City Hall, it's a public building. You just had to lay low until the conference began, so that Ross wouldn't notice you were there. You were treating it like a heist when it wasn't even breaking any laws. 

Besides, you had someone on the inside.

-

“Ross will be sitting to the right on the front row. But I’m assuming he’ll be addressing the conference first.” Sharon spoke in a light whisper. The day had come, and you stood nonchalantly outside City Hall, trying to avoid the cameras and news anchors that were littered outside the building. 

“Are you already inside?” 

“Yeah, been here for twenty minutes already. Everyone is just waiting around until all the governors arrive.”

“And they know you’re a former S.H.I.E.L.D agent?” Sharon silently scoffed down the phone. 

“Why else do you think I was invited to attend?” You sighed, taking in the building in front of you. In an hour or so, the conference would begin. And Thaddeus Ross would singlehandedly try to disband the worlds only hope. 

A car door slammed behind you; Thaddeus Ross, the secretary of state, got out of the vehicle and straightened out his jacket. Cameras flashed all around, and you slunk into the shadows behind one of the buildings pillars. Ross strolled inside, and after the press died down once more, you decided now was as good a time as any to finally go in. 

City Hall was packed, so it was easy to get inside without anyone thinking anything of you. Immediately after entering, you headed for the ladies bathroom. In about forty-five minutes the conference would start. Until then, you wait. 

_They shut the doors. Everyone is being seated._

Sharon’s text made your pulse quicken. You left your bathroom stall slowly, and looked at yourself in the mirror. This was it. You knew that after you spoke, if you even got to speak, people would know who you were. 

You were an Avenger.

A powerful being.

Perhaps even a vigilante. 

Or maybe just a girl. 

You left the bathroom and everything slowed down. You saw the press outside, the police officers that guarded the entrance to the building, the countless lawyers and attorneys that lined the walls, people in wedding dresses and suits ready to be married; none of them looked at you, you were invisible. 

The doors to the main conference room loomed above you, the hazel oak wood putting a horrible taste in your mouth. Inside, you could hear Ross’s voice loud and clear over the microphone. 

“Thank you governors, CEO’s, proud UN members, for being here to discuss the fate of our country, and our world…”

You were less than ten metres away from the doors now.

“… I think I’ve made myself clear in my attempts to keep up my responsibilities…”

Five metres.

“… Responsibilities that today, are known as the Avengers and their actions and behaviours…”

You placed your hands on the doors.

“… Behaviours that have proven them to be untrustworthy. I propose this; it’s time for their private organisation to expire…”

You shoved the doors open.

“… For the good of the people. For the good of this _world._ ”

“For the good of nothing.” Your voice boomed. In seconds, the faces of the hundreds of conference members turned to face you. Your legs moved fast down the isle of the room, and soon the whispers were reaching your ears in full blast. 

Thaddeus’s face dropped, but his eyes gleamed. He remembered you, definitely. Sharon Carter sat to the left of the room, her blonde hair laid elegantly on her shoulders and her jaw was clenched. “Ross,” a white haired man who sat at the front boomed. “Who is this? This is no place for a child.” 

You kept quiet as Ross’s eyes scanned yours. “Miss…”

“(L/N).” You spoke strongly. He smiled. 

“This is a closed conference of which you have no jurisdiction to be present-,”

“Actually, Sir,” Sharon Carter stood suddenly, and the conference faced her. She strolled out to the front a little, her heels clicking smartly. “I believe she does have jurisdiction. She’s here as a representative of the Avengers.” 

You were met with whispers once more, but tenfold. Ross stared Sharon down, his eyes seeming to bare into her very soul. He made you feel slightly sick. You continued on your path towards the centre podium, and Ross reluctantly let you. “Thank you, Secretary.” You spoke calmly. You were not about to act rash in front of an entire UN conference. This was the final straw, the last fight; you had to put everything into it until they decided to shut down the Avengers. 

You stood on the podium and gulped, taking in the sheer amount of people that were present. You recognised a few faces from the news and elsewhere. It was intimidating, to say the least. You were definitely the youngest person in the room. 

You coughed, and caught eyes with Sharon. She nodded at you slowly, her smile seeming to give you hope.

“I face you all today, as someone invisible. None of you in this room, besides those who I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, have ever seen me. So, I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me when I say this. My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I am nineteen years old. And for the last year of my life, I have been recruited as an Avenger.

“I know. I can see you all laughing. This one gentleman just spat out his water. And I suppose I don’t have much more than word of mouth to prove myself, as of now. Though, I assure you, if you delve deep into the Channel 5 website, I’m sure you’ll see my blurry face above a headline concerning a secret Avenger spotted in Stark Towers last year. Or perhaps, the CCTV security footage from Berlin Airport, showing an unidentifiable individual manipulating the elements, and trying to stop the Avengers destroy themselves.

“Her friends. My friends. They did try to destroy each other. And I tried to stop them. Though, who am I to come between some of the most powerful men and women in the world when they disagree. 

“Because they did disagree. The Sokoivia Accords were their downfall. A proposal that some agreed on, and some did not. Myself? I was the only undecided voter. I was under the impression that to fix the problem of the public feeling safe around the Avengers, as them not being seen as vigilantes, as dangerous, that yes, they should become a government organisation. 

“But. They also have a job to do. A job that requires quick decisions. If the world is in peril, the Avengers must go. But, they cannot go if the government denies them the authority to pick their own missions. 

“Tony Stark told me that my decision towards the accords was ‘not good enough, kid’. Steve Rogers told me that sometimes he ‘forgot that I was just a child’. These two men were divided because of a pile of papers. Divided enough to fight against each other to get what they wanted. This energy would usually be used towards world matters, concerning the publics safety. But this time, they didn’t have jurisdiction to fight for their planet. 

“The fact that not a single Avenger is here today angers me. All of you intelligent people sit here ready to shut down an essential organisation when a representative can’t even be here to try and change your mind. I may not be a politician, or have a pHd, but I don’t find that fair. 

“Right now, the Avengers are broken. I’m here to try and stick them back together, standing in front of a room full of people who want to crack them even more. My friends, who have fought for this world, risked their lives, felt the pain of failed missions and the repercussions from the very people they protected, are locked up. They are branded as criminals. And those that are not branded, are not allowed to protect the world without being arrested. 

“They are human. They feel. Every life lost affects them. But we have a job to do, and showing that side of emotion in an already bad situation would make matters worse. So they stay strong, they act fast the fix things, even if they can’t fix themselves.”

Ross stood up abruptly, and you jumped. “If you’re an Avenger, Miss (L/N), I must ask why you keep referring to the Avengers as ‘they’.” 

You swallowed uncomfortably. 

“I told them I was done, Mr Secretary. I wasn’t going to sit back and watch the Avengers destroy themselves after I tried everything to stop them.”

“Then, why are you here?” 

You breathed in and exhaled. Sharon caught your eye momentarily.  

“Because I’m the glue, Sir. I suppose that makes me an Avenger _for_ the Avengers. If they go down, if they stop functioning, the whole ship will sink. 

“They are needed. They are essential to this worlds safety. And the Sokovia Accords do not let them protect it.”

The mutters grew loud in the hall, and people grow restless. Your time was up. 

“Anything else to add?” Thaddeus stared at you. You smiled back as the hall died down once more. You chuckled to yourself, slotting your hair behind your ear. 

“Your family is your worst enemy, Mr Secretary.

"Together, a family is a force to be reckoned with.

"Divided, they’re a catastrophe.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! here's another chapter for you, I hope you enjoy it xx

"I thought we were only getting coffee after it blew over." Sharon handed you a latte, her face curled in a small smile.

You let her into your apartment. It was early evening, and you'd already had two beers since you got home from the conference. You wore Peter's pyjamas and had been lounging around on the couch, the TV switched off. Sharon took in your apartment and sat down on the couch. You stayed in the kitchen, tapping the coffee cup.

"I thought that now was a good time for you not to be alone." You scoffed, opening the fridge and grabbing another beer. 

"Want one?" You gestured a beer at Sharon. She looked at it up and down, but took it. You slumped onto the couch next to her, taking a swig. 

"How do you even buy booze?" She chuckled slightly, twisting the top off her own bottle and taking a sip. 

"You don't ask, you don't get. I had lots of practice pretending to be older than I actually was in England." Sharon smiled at you. 

This was it. You'd now officially done everything you could do. But you didn't feel any better about the whole situation. You felt nothing. "(Y/N)," she began, and put down her beer on the coffee table. "What you did today, was the bravest thing I've ever witnessed." 

Sharon Carter, former S.H.I.E.L.D agent, niece of Agent Margaret Carter, was sat in your living room, drinking one of your beers, and saying how a few words that you said in front of a few old men was the bravest thing she'd ever seen. 

"Bullshit." You laughed, and took another gulp of your drink. Sharon stood up slowly.

"Don't undermine yourself. You're passive when you're trying to repress your emotions." 

"And you're annoying when you act like you know every little thing about me." The room filled with uncomfortable silence, but Sharon stayed standing, her lips curled in a small smile once more. She strolled over to the door, and spotted the group of photos that you'd stuck on the wall; Debs and Jason. May and Peter. And amongst the large collection of high school photos, Peter being a dork and Jason hugging the life out of you, the Avengers were there. A team photo, right in the middle of the bundle, underneath a photo of you winning an English award.

The door clicked closed, and you got up and headed to the fire escape. From your roof New York City blazed in front of you. You knew that by now your face would be on every news channel, your name out there in the world. 

It was only a matter of time before something happened regarding the accords, and you knew you'd probably be hearing from Thaddeus Ross again, no matter how much you didn't want to. 

Your phone had been ringing all evening, so you'd switched it off. Then people somehow got your house phone number; you hadn't had peace and quiet since you got home. You knew that people would want more answers, a larger story to fill in the gaps, but right now all you wanted was to get stone cold drunk. 

And you were half way there. 

-

"They're not allowed in without a permit." Kate stood next to you as the two of you peered out of the door next to the Genius Bar. "If they don't have proof that they're simply a member of the public and not looking for information or pictures, then they're not coming in. They brought guards in from Brooklyn to put out the front of the store." You nodded silently. It had been an ordeal trying to actually get to work. You'd been stopped more than ten times by people who wanted photos, or paparazzi snapping pictures of you left, right and centre. When you got close to the store, the guards had guided you in to the shop floor and shut the doors. 

If only Apple Stores weren't made out of glass walls. 

"Come on, I'll get you a cup of tea." 

_(Y/N) (L/N), an ex-Avenger, spoke out at the UN conference in New York City yesterday about her own opinion regarding the Sokovia Accords. I think it's easy to see that she kicked those white guys asses with her speech, and made sure that they would go home with questions on their minds about whether or not the accords would actually be beneficial to the world as a whole._

_(Y/N) lives in Queens, but was born in England. Her family is quite complicated and our researchers have not managed to find many sources of information regarding them, though more and more sources are surfacing regarding her time with the Avengers themselves; it seems she was right about the Berlin CCTV footage capturing her, and photo analysts have confirmed that it was (Y/N) at the airport alongside the heroes._

_I personally think that what she did was admirable, I mean a nineteen year old girl speaking at a UN conference and telling CEO's and governors what the hell to do? And being right about it? No wonder she wanted her identity on the down low; she'd have every guy and girl pining after her from here to space-_

"Can you please turn that off." Jared sat in the staff room, watching a YouTube video. It was about you, obviously. He shut his laptop suddenly and scanned your face as Kate went to the kettle. 

"Are you OK?" Jared spoke hesitantly. You didn't reply. From the stock room you could see the stores CCTV cameras; the press were swarmed outside the shop from every angle, it would be impossible for any actual customers to be able to get inside. You breathed deeply, but the anxious pit in your stomach seemed to grow tenfold with every second that ticked by. 

"I need to go home." 

With that, you grabbed your belongings and ran out of the room, heading for the fire exit at the back of the building. 

You took the rooftops home, which you'd never done before. But it strangely got you home in half the time the subway took, and meant that not many people noticed you. 

Those that did made it pretty clear. 

Is this what you would become? A social recluse? Confined to your house and not even able to go into work? Someone who'd outed themselves as an Avenger, but seemed like more of a wimp. 

You took a deep breath in and exhaled; this fear, this anxiety, it couldn't win. So you tried to take a step in the direction of being able to actually live normally; you turned on your phone again. 

247 missed calls. 89 new voicemails. Email after email after email from news industries, technological companies, journalists. 

One text message.

_We're proud of you._

It almost made you angry that the number was unknown. No caller ID. Your blood boiled at the prospect of it being an Avenger, which it most likely was. If they hadn't of fought, you wouldn't have had to make that speech and out yourself to the world. 

This was all utterly their fault, and now you were on the receiving end of their mistakes.

You deleted the message with a scowl. It wasn't about others feeling proud of you. It was about closure for yourself. Closure from the Avengers.

You deleted most of the other stuff on your phone, too, then put it on silent next to you. You weren’t ready to turn the TV on just yet, so you grabbed the last book you’d started reading. You read it from where you left off until the end cover, your eyes wet with tears. How long had it been since you’d read for fun?

You glanced outside at the dwindling sunlight, a golden glow cast over the Queens apartment buildings. You’d never appreciated the view from your living room window before; it was beautiful. How many things hadn’t you noticed while you’d been preoccupied with the Avengers?

A flinch pulsed through your body as two loud knocks sounded from your door.

You mentally prepared yourself when you clicked open the lock, and a stranger stood in front of you. His skin gleamed in the light of the corridor, and his dark eyes looked at you with a mixture of amazement and superiority. You slammed the door shut immediately, but his arm pressed against the wood before you could get it locked.

“I assure you. I am not someone who you need to slam a door into.” The man walked in and you registered his strong accent. Where was it from? He strolled into your apartment as you stayed silent. “Do you know who I am?” That’s when it clicked; you’d heard that voice before.

“You were there. The guy in- dressed in all black. You-,”

“Yes. I may have acted rashly towards you.” You scoffed loudly. Acted rashly? Seriously?

“You lifted me off the floor by my neck.”

“Which was a rash act.” T’Challa smiled at you like he was a joker in high school. You squinted at him and his very wrong timing for humour.

“Sure, let’s all laugh about the fact you choked me. In ten years or so.” The king looked down at the floor and strolled closer to you. You took a step back, he was being too close for comfort after what he’d done.

“I am sorry. I was- blinded. By venegence.” His face dropped into something more solemn, something more human. “I was there, you know. At the conference.”

“I- didn’t see you.” You coughed slightly and cleared you throat, gesturing at the couch. The two of you sat down. T’Challa looked thoughtful as the conversation began, and you were glad it was him that came to talk to you first. You didn’t have many ties to him, he was sucked into the fight just as much as you were. But his reasons were valid. His father had been killed. It was enough to drive anyone to want revenge.

“You spoke the truth. Your speech needed to be said, and it came at the right time.” T’Challa grabbed your hand suddenly, but you didn’t flinch away. He had a genuine face, the face of someone who thought about his words and his actions; he was a King, after all. “The Avengers do not deserve you.”

Your face turned neon red as T’Challa spoke, and you looked at your feet. “Thank you. I did what I had to do.” The King nodded at you smartly, and got up from the couch, his hand still holding yours.

“Thaddeus Ross has called a press panel. He will tell the world the outcome of the accords.” Your heart pumped in your chest as you took in the words. Soon, you’d know if you failed, or succeeded. Soon, this would all be over, or it would just be beginning once more. “Times Square, tomorrow at noon.” You nodded at T’Challa, a small smile of appreciation on your face.

“That sleaze ball obviously didn’t want me showing up.” You raised your eyebrows and T’Challa let out a chuckle. He raised your hand to his lips and placed them against your knuckles gently.

“Show him who the boss is.” Giggles escaped your mouth as T’Challa let your hand go.

“I think I’ve already done that, to be honest.” T’Challa came closer to you, his eyes staring straight through you.

“Show him again. Make him pay for ever thinking he could dictate how you all save the world.”

Make him pay. You’d never heard someone actually use those three words and mean it, but by T’Challa’s tone you knew that he wasn’t Ross’s biggest fan, either. “I don’t do that anymore. Save the world, I mean.”

T’Challa scoffed. Royalty, a King, scoffing. What a sight to behold.

“Yes, you do.”

With that, he left your apartment, and it was like he’d never been there. Was he right? Were you still subconsciously saving the world, despite not being an Avenger? Either way, tomorrow the whole world would be saved, or be ruined.

You didn’t sleep that night. You waited until the sun came up before your eyes truly got to breaking point. As the world began waking up, that’s when your body shut down.

The shrill sound of your phone ringing woke you from a dreamless sleep. You picked it up without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?” You croaked out. It was like your brain couldn’t compute anything; all your saw was fuzziness that looked vaguely like your room.

“Turn on your TV.” It was May. You’d never spoken to May on the phone before. You jumped out of bed, your mind reeling from this sudden request. What time was it? What was going on-

Wait. Fuck.

You went onto the first news channel you could find;

_Thaddeus Ross announces that new ‘(L/N) Accords’ will come into practice today._

“(L/N) Accords...” You heard May’s shallow breathing on the other end of the line. It was almost half twelve, you’d slept through the first part of the panel. They were broadcasting it live on TV, and most of the questions Ross was getting were concerning you.

“Where is she now?”

“I assure you that (Y/N) hasn’t contacted me or my people. From now on, I will be in charge of these accords and their div-,”

“But, surely, Mr Secretary. If the accords were literally thought up by Miss (L/N), she should be ambassador, should she not?”

“Like I’ve said before-,”

“We understand what you’re saying, Sir. But we don’t think it’s fair for you to take control of this situation when you wanted an entirely different outcome.” This wasn’t so much of a press panel as it was a cage match; and everyone seemed to want to fight Thaddeus Ross. You thought of not going at all, of watching him melt into a sweating, stressed mess as the press grilled him continually.

But, this wasn’t about him. People wanted you there, so you needed to go.

-

It was almost half one when you got to Times Square, but the press hadn’t given Ross a break. You chuckled to yourself as you found a spot next to a smartly dressed man holding a small black notebook full of shorthand scrawl.

“The Avengers have been taken out of their custody in the penitentiary. That’s all I can confirm right now.”

“What about Steve Rogers?” One reporter shouted, and your mind trailed back to the text message you got. You had a feeling it had been from him, like your gut just knew that it was Rogers who sent it. It was his apology.

What a shit apology.

“Mr Rogers and Mr Barnes have been in contact. But I can’t confirm any more details.” They’ve been in contact? What? It must be through Tony, you would bet your life on it. You knew that Steve probably did something sappy, like send Stark some letter detailing his apology. Steve was old fashioned like that.

After the speech, you liked to imagine the two of them getting back in contact with each other. Though that would be an ideal world. Your heart thumped in your chest as you raised your hand and moved closer to the panel. “Are you telling me the Avengers are all together again, Mr Secretary?”

The whole square went quiet as you stepped forward, your eyes plastered on Ross’s. Security guards surrounded you from all sides, stopping the hoard of reporters from trampling all over you. One large man hoisted you up onto the panel stage immediately, and you stood their flustered for a few seconds. Ross stood up smartly, the cameras and press burning their gazes towards you both. “I think you’d know if they were.”

“I’m not so sure about that, Sir. We haven’t exactly all talked in a while.” Thaddeus smiled.

“Yes, I’m aware. Perhaps you should- give them a call.” His voice trailed off, and he gathered the papers that lay on the table in front of him. “No more questions. This panel is closed.”

Uproar. The crowd were fumbling around trying to get closer to you as you stayed standing on the stage. Ross had given away hardly any information, though at least the accords had been made available to the public. The idea of the Avengers all sitting in Stark Towers right now and watching the news made you feel a bit sick.

Their faces all staring at Stark’s large flat screen, seeing you continue to care about whether or not the initiative survives. Whether or not they keep going.

And all you get is a lousy text.

What a shitshow. You jumped off of the back of the stage and immediately started running. You didn’t know where you were going; but you knew it wasn’t your apartment.

-

Stark sat on his leather sofa, scotch in hand. Around the room, the other Avengers were dotted. Nat stood by the island, opposite a sitting Clint. Wanda gripped her knees in the large velvet chair by the coffee table as Vision secretly stared at her from the other side of the room, arms crossed.

The elevator dinged, and in walked Sam and Scott. “They’re on their way.” Sam answered the question that floated through the air, just from looking once at Tony’s expression after they walked in.

“The kid did it.” Tony whispered to himself, thinking that no one could hear. Nat’s lips curled into her signature smile.

“I think it’s fair to say that we’ve been a bit hard on her.”

“You can say that again.” The elevator doors had opened once more, and Steve strolled into the room, followed by Bucky. Tony stood up quickly, milling the icy scotch around in his glass. “Tony.” Steve nodded at his old friend.

“Capsicle.” Bucky sniggered next to his best friend, and a small smile stretched across the captain’s face. The two of them approached each other slowly and shook hands. Tony raised his glass. “To new beginnings?”

Steve looked at the floor. “She needs to be here, first. We all need to be here.

“Then, we toast.” Stark huffed, and looked around the room.

“Works for me, but it’ll have to be over at the new compound. New beginnings, new facilities, new party guests.”

“Do you really think a party is the best idea?” Sam spoke up, his eyebrows furrowed in an amused expression.

Tony downed his scotch, his teeth crunching on the small shards of ice in the dregs. “Come on, Wilson,” He slammed the glass down on the kitchen island and undid the button on his blazer. “A party will fix everything.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I think this chapter is a bit shit, not much pettiness - believe me, there will be soon. 
> 
> here’s my only request; that you guys listen to the song “Power Over Men” by Jamie T when reader strolls into the party- that’s what I always imagined when I wrote this. 
> 
> Also!! If you guys wanna see how I imagine reader (which is kinda futile cause reader is YOU, but oh well) then head over to my Twitter @highkeybeth and take a look at my pinned tweet, I drew her for ya. 
> 
> anyway enjoy!! sorry for this load of shite x

You let your hair down freely, and wore minimal make up. You didn't want them all thinking you actually cared. After all, you'd had to deal with all this shit on your own.

You'd done it all alone; going to Berlin; choosing to leave; speaking at the UN conference. Now was a time for you to be you, without the added judging from the Avengers and their opinions, which to you were now no more than unnoticeable comments.

You'd got the invite in the mail. It was as if Tony was trying to be special in some way, inviting you the old fashioned way instead of over some email.

"I think you should go." That's what everyone had said. Debs. Jason. Kate. Even Jared. Peter also had an invite, understandably.

They were all ready for you to make up and be friends with the Avengers once more. But were you ready yourself? Were you ready to be thrust into their world again, with the added pressure of the world now knowing who you were? Some might say it was all too much to bare.

Not you.

If you were going to Stark's 'reunion', you were going in style. No pretending.

You looked at yourself in the mirror; you wore a simple jumpsuit, off the shoulder and black. The legs were culottes, and airy, giving you comfort and style in one. You didn't do anything with your hair, but did your make up in the most subtle of ways; a sophisticated look. If they all still thought you were a child after this party then you could do nothing to stop their perceptions of you.

There was no Happy this time to drive you to the compound. But you didn't mind it. In fact, walking into the party utterly alone was what you wanted.

You wanted them all to see you, follow your steps as you headed towards wherever the bar was, have them watch you order a drink. This wasn't like last year; you'd grown, and they knew that. It was only a matter of time before they looked at you like a child once more, so you were going to make the most of this new freedom; this new image that was actually more _you_ orientated, instead of the Avengers seeing you as the youngest member.

Perhaps you wouldn't be the subject of their jokes anymore. The subject of their ridicule, their anger. Perhaps you'd actually be an active member now.

It had taken you long enough to realise that they'd treated you badly; they treated you as nothing more but a side serving; someone who was occasionally there, yet made such a big difference that they could pin things on you.

You'd been the Avengers slave, their play thing, for too long.

It was time for a change.

Tony had called a party because he was afraid; afraid that a more intimate reunion would be too awkward, too difficult. That, and he loved a good scotch. Somewhere deep inside of you, you wanted so badly to forgive them all immediately and go back to how things were. But on the surface, you knew that this was their last chance.

Their last chance at deserving you.

T’Challa’s words rang through your head as you stared at yourself in the reflective windows of the Upstate facility. It was late, maybe just gone ten. The party was raging in the main living room, you could hear laughs and music spilling outside.

You knew that you’d be met by hundreds of pairs of eyes when you walked the number of metres down the hall, that you wouldn’t have the chance to be undetected. It was now or never; and you didn’t get all dressed up and get on the damn subway to not go inside. You didn’t come just to stand there and chuckle and forget all of the troubles between you and the Avengers;

It was their time to feel bad.

Yeah, maybe you were being petty. But as you stood there, your eyes tracing over your reflection in the glass, the music hitting your ears and almost dragging you towards the party, you couldn’t help but smile. This past year of your life had been your turning point; you didn’t feel like a child anymore, and you weren’t.

Your feet began moving on their own, your heels clicking smartly on the floor as you approached the main room. You ducked your head down as the lights hit you, as the noise encased around your whole body. You slotted your hair behind your ear as you strutted into the room, your eyes finding a fixed point and keeping your gaze stuck on it; it just so happened to be the empty bar.

You lifted your head up once more and continued forward, your legs not hesitating or shaking. Your confidence was at its peak, oddly, as you swayed your hips and caught a few gazes from people you recognised slightly, but not enough to have your heart jump from your chest.

Tony and Steve either hadn’t seen you yet, or you simply hadn’t seen them. You hoped it was the latter, strangely. You hoped that they were following you as you walked across the foyer, their eyes not leaving you even as you reached the bar and slotted yourself in behind it, grabbing and glass and starting to mix yourself a drink.

The loud conversations had turned into subtle whispers, dominated by the underlying silence that now spread throughout the room. You poured some spirits skilfully into a cocktail shaker, banging the top and starting to shake; you looked up; all eyes were on you.

As soon as they saw that you’d seen their gazes, they went back to chatting away as if nothing had happened. You shook the cocktail maker violently, before pouring the drink into a tall glass and taking a sip. It was no Cosmopolitan, but it was good nevertheless.

There was something about this normalcy, the deja vu of being by the bar at a party once more, that rattled your bones.

There was no Banner, this time.

No Thor.

Two of your favourite people, to be honest.

It felt somewhat empty compared to last year, despite the room being beyond bustling with businessmen, CEO’s and other important people.

You downed your cocktail in one, slamming the glass on the counter as you thought of what to do, where to go, who to talk to. Maybe you should find Peter so you don’t look like a complete loner.

“They couldn’t afford a bar tender?” Nat’s voice plummeted through you like an icicle. It was so typical of her to bring up something from the past, to start a conversation in a way that disregarded any hard feelings, or at least tried to. You stared at her blankly, and began mixing up another few cocktails.

“Not the only thing they couldn’t afford.” You poured the pale red liquid into two glasses and slid one towards Nat mundanely. “An apology, perhaps?” Nat tapped her glass uncomfortably, and before she could get a word out, you’d left the bar, headed for Clint across the other side of the room, speaking to Lang.

Clint was a good man; you knew that. It boiled your blood to think that he’d been locked in that penitentiary for so long, his family fatherless, husbandless, for those lonely months.

You stood silently next to Scott Lang, neither of the men having noticed you yet. Lang flicked his eyes towards you, before his whole body stuttered backwards, his eyes wide. You genuinely smiled at him, his brows furrowing together and his mouth forming a small smile of his own. “The prodigal daughter returns.” Scott shot his hand out at you, and you took it. “I’m Scott Lang.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr Lang.” Clint stood still as you turned towards him, his face revealing nothing of what he was actually feeling. “Hey, Clint.”

Those two words were his downfall. His face dropped, his eyes going glassy, his brows furrowed. His arms were wrapped around you in no time, his touch making you gulp back your own tears. In that fleeting moment, you felt his pain, his remorse, his need for having been there at the fight and at least _doing something_ so he felt like he’d contributed. “Hey, kiddo.” He whispered, and you smiled, pulling apart from the archer.

He sniffed once, and laughed at himself. “God, I need a drink.” With that, he headed straight for the bar, you and Scott both chuckling as he stumbled a few times along the way.

“What a guy. I owe him a lot.” You turned to Scott, bobbing your head to the side. “I got into this mess because I wanted to see my daughter. She’s all that matters to me,” he slotted his hands in his blazer pockets and huffed. “In prison - the second one, not the first one - Barton was adamant we’d get out. I don’t know how a man could have that much hope, but he did.” He let out a chuckle. “I guess he was right to have hope. When we got out, you know what he said to me?”

You gulped, your gut coiling uncomfortably. Half of you wanted him to stop talking, but the other wanted to hear it; needed to hear something good. “He said ‘She did it. I don’t know how, but she did it.’ And he was right.” You scoffed, looking around the room as you felt your face gain colour.

“Thank you, Scott.” He patted you on the shoulder, and your anxiety went down as the conversation came to close. His eyes focused on something behind you, his face dropping slightly. You turned, and the air was taken from your lungs as they stood in front of you.

Steve’s eyes were plastered on yours. Nat stood behind him silently, her arms crossed in some form of emotional defence. Tony leaned against a black leather sofa, a glass of scotch glued to his hand. You swilled your own drink, taking a gulp, as Scott removed his hand from your shoulder. “That’s not a sight you see everyday.”

“It’s a sight I wish didn’t exist.” The words had left your mouth without you realising, and Stark scoffed as his eyes followed the small whirlpool in his glass. It ground your gears; that scoff, that noise; the first thing Stark has uttered to you since Berlin. You took a step closer to him, your face blank. “I’m glad I’m so humorous to you, Stark.”

His eyes flicked up to yours, his face not revealing anything just yet. Your heart thumped in your chest. You’d expected an apology, some kind of thank you at least; it hadn’t occurred to you that maybe they wouldn’t even bother. “You’re not humorous - well, you are, you’re very funny - but,” he swallowed, taking a step forward. “If humour is how you fixed all this, then you’re the most successful comedian in the world.” You bit your tongue, your head trying to compute his words. Was this Stark’s idea of an apology?

“Still can’t shake those analogies, huh?” You downed the rest of your drink, and handed the glass to Scott behind you. “Evidently, you guys haven’t had long enough time to recover and actually _think_ about what the hell has just gone down.” Steve looked at the ground then, shuffling on the spot.

“Let’s get to the damn point, shall we?” Cap stood up straight, his square jaw clenched uncomfortably.

“Gosh, Cap. Seems all of your innocence was left in Berlin.” You scowled at him.

“We deserve all that you’re giving to us. If anything, we didn’t deserve your kindness.” You shut your eyes as Steve began talking. “All of us have been selfish, (Y/N). You know that more than anyone else. You had to face it head on. For that,” he stepped closer to you, and you opened your eyes, taking him in. “I’m sorry.”

“The last thing I wanted to be was a bad egg, especially to someone like you.” Tony chimed in, grabbing a glass decanter from the table and refilling his scotch, along with another glass. “You’ve done us a solid.” He handed you the glass as you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

Stark wasn’t the best at apologising, or being emotional. But this was beyond you. You’d saved the Avengers from being eradicated, you’d tried to keep them together during their game of war, and the best he could give you was ‘You’ve done us a solid’ and a glass of whiskey?

You scoffed now, and stared at the glass Tony had given you. “I’ve done you a solid? That’s the best you can do, Stark?” You chuckled as the rage began to bubble inside of you. This party was a joke, a place where Stark could try and make himself feel better instead of actually doing what was right. “This is bullshit.” You strutted towards him and thrust the drink back into his hand. “I can’t believe I thought I could come back and it would be like last year,” you looked down at your feet. “Guess you guys aren’t the only ones that are out of your depth.”

Your eyes caught Clint’s as you left the room, not wanting to be around them all anymore. That was the saddest excuse for an apology that you’d ever experienced.

It was as if the world was in slow motion; slow as your heart pumped in your body painfully; as you stumbled in your shoes and had to slip them off; as you heard footsteps following you as you were so close to the front door; as arms were wrapping around you in the dark night; arms that you hadn’t been around in months.

You fell to the floor, but the arms didn’t leave you. You couldn’t see in front of you, your tears obscuring your vision entirely, but you knew who had you wrapped in their grip, and that truth made your tears flow even more so. A voice shushed gently in your ear, telling you that everyone was fine, that you weren’t alone, that you weren’t overreacting.

That you were safe.

You pulled apart from the arms, scrubbing at your face as you tried desperately to stop yourself from crying. “Bruce.” You stuttered, and he smiled at you, his face filling you with so much joy that you almost couldn’t breathe. He was here; he was actually here.

“(Y/N).” He spoke, and his voice settled inside of you, calming you immediately. How is it that this man, this wonderful, gentle man, doubled up as one of the most violent creatures the world had ever seen? You almost couldn’t believe it.

“I can’t do it anymore, Bruce- I can’t.” You breathed, and he grabbed your face with both his hands.

“You don’t have to, you don’t have to.” He lifted you from the floor gently, holding your heels in his other hand. “Come on.” You let him guide you to your old room, accepting the fact that what you needed was some time to think for yourself, away from the Avengers and the shit party that Stark had put on. As if all your problems were going to be sorted at a public event- nothing would get fixed like that.

You lay yourself down on your bed as Bruce placed your heels on the floor. He smiled at you lovingly, and headed to the door. “Don’t leave,” you muttered, tears still falling from your eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” With that, he clicked the door shut, the muffled sounds of the party infiltrating your room slightly, but your head feeling much better.

You’d expected this night to be something so much better, something that wasn’t actually possible. You’d expected the Avengers to be different people, but of course they weren’t.

And maybe you hadn’t really changed, either.

But tomorrow was a new day.

That was all you needed to get you through this horrible night.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this early upload to everyone who is outside of my time zone!! at least you’ll have something nice to read in the morning.
> 
> i’m super happy with how this turned out and couldn’t wait to share it!! 
> 
> enjoy xx

“I like the new furniture in here.” You sat with Bruce in the smaller living room. It was lined with different coloured sofas and chairs of different fabrics. “It feels less... sterile.” You took a sip from your mug of tea as Bruce flicked through the morning newspaper. The rest of the compound was quiet.

The party had gone on till the early hours of the morning and despite your pretty interrupted night, in the form of drunk Peter bursting into your room and ending up falling asleep on your floor, you felt good. Calm, even. Content.

It had all been too much yesterday. The party had put you under too much pressure without you fully realising it, and that had made you tip over the edge.

A part of you also blamed Tony for his rather shit attempt at an apology. You knew that all he wanted was for everything to be normal again, but he needed to acknowledge the fact that things had changed; he needed to acknowledge you. You deserved it.

Having Banner at the party was probably the number one thing you could have wished for. It had been months since you’d seen him, since he got on that hangar after Sokovia and flew away without a trace. You envied him, slightly, for being off the radar now. Thaddeus Ross didn’t know he was back at the compound; he was still free, while you were back in the one place you thought you never would be again, after Berlin.

“Tony moves everyone up here officially next week.” Stark Towers had played such a large role in the last eight years of the Avengers Initiative, you couldn’t help but wonder why Tony had chosen now to uproot everyone from central New York City. “I think a change was needed.” It was as if Banner had read your thoughts. You smiled at him, and sipped your tea once more.

“Ugh,” a groan sounded from the corridor leading to the dorms, and out strolled Peter. He wore a shirt that was far too small for him that you’d thrown at him at 3am from one of your drawers, and his boxers. His curls were askew, and his face was as pale as snow. In other words; he was hungover. “What time is it?”

Bruce glanced at his watch, amused. “9:34am.” Peter made a sound like a screaming walrus and stumbled over to where you sat on the sofa. He curled himself up into a ball and rested his head on your lap. You stroked your fingers through his curls, unknotting them, as you heard Peter’s calm breaths as he trickled back into an uncomfortable sleep.

You reached for a blanket on the chair next to you and draped it over him, smiling to yourself. “What a damn baby.” You scoffed at your best friend; he really was something.

“Was it him that I heard yelling in your room last night?”

“You mean the mad man shouting about how he was gonna punch Stark in the face? Take a wild guess, Bruce.” Dr Banner scoffed himself before finishing up with his newspaper. He got up from his chair and went over to the kitchen, popping some bread in the toaster. “Tell me honestly, Bruce,” your mind had wandered and had come across paranoia; doubt; anxiety. Bruce looked at you with wise eyes, as if he already knew what you were going to ask him. “Do you think we can fix this? Bring this shitshow to an end?” He sighed, and leant against the counter.

“You say ‘we’, but this situation doesn’t need to be fixed by you, (Y/N). This is about the others stepping up to the mark. You’ve done more than enough for the Avengers.” His toast popped up, but he stayed put. “As long as you want it to be like old times, I have a feeling that it will be.”

“That’s the thing,” you stroked Peter’s head once more as he snored loudly on your thigh. “I’m not quite sure if I want it to be like old times.”

-

“Look at that,” Tony said smartly. “We’re all together again. Like a happy family.”

“Are you saying that because you’re actually happy about it, Stark? Because I will go if you aren’t prepared to get past this.” Everyone was gathered around the living room, sitting on the couches and chairs. Peter was barely awake, but his hand hadn’t stopped squeezing yours since Steve had wandered into the room. Everyone else had followed after him.

“No, no, I-,” Stark sighed, pacing the room. Why was it so difficult for him to act seriously about this? “I’m sorry. I just- never though this would be the outcome of everything.”

“You’re not the only one.” Cap spoke up. He sat opposite you on another couch, Bucky tapped his knee next to him. You flicked your eyes onto Cap’s for a second, and took in a deep breath. “I don’t think anything I say will fully communicate how- thankful I am. What you’ve done is fixed a mess that we all thought couldn’t be fixed. You-,” he stopped, looking down at the floor and fiddling with his thumbs. When he looked up again, his eyes pierced through you so harshly. “You saved the damn world while we were too stubborn to save it ourselves.”

You listened to Steve’s words intently, yet all you could manage to say after was “Mhm.” You pursed your lips at him, raising your eyes brows to the ceiling. The penny had finally dropped; you didn’t have the energy to care about every damn apology you got from these guys; everything they were saying was right, and you deserved to have that recognition.

It was like all the care, the concern, the anxiety of them actually stepping up and paying their dos to you; it was like none of it mattered anymore.

Your heart thumped in your chest. Yes, it didn’t matter to you anymore. But the Avengers were still people, they still had feelings of their own. If you started treating them like dirt on the bottom of your shoe, how was that different to the way they had treated you? You sighed, and dropped your face. “Thanks, Cap. It’s nice to hear it from your mouth.” You scanned the room and took in all of their faces; sorry; they were all sorry.

Your ego subsided.

That was good enough for you.

“I’ve known you guys for a year. I know all about your tricks and attempts at trying to hide little things,” you raised your eyebrows at them collectively. “I think it’s obvious that _I find out everything._ ” You saw the uncomfortable truth on Steve’s face as he realised that you were right.

“You always were a good judge of character.” You found yourself smiling at the Captain for the first time in however long, and it felt amazing.

Tony slapped his knees. “Well then, I’ll make all the preparations. Everyone’s getting a bigger room so I’ll see that yours gets refurbed too. The press are gonna be on us like dogs, so I’ll get Pep-,”

“Whoa, whoa.” You hushed the billionaire. “Tony, we aren’t finished here.” He looked around the room like a lost puppy, his eyes meeting Steve’s for a fraction of a second before landing on you again.

“But I thought that exchange was- you know, the ‘snap back’? The ‘fuck it let’s get back together again, screw the custody battle’?” Your frown seemed to give him all the answers he needed. “Am I wrong?”

“Tony,” you began, and shuffled forward on the couch. How does one start a conversation where you’re telling the other to back off? Especially when it’s _Tony freaking Stark_ , the most standoffish person on the planet, if not the universe. “If this is gonna work again, if you want it to work again, you need to stop treating me like something I’m not.”

“Hey-,”

“ _Please, just listen_.” You shut your eyes at Tony’s blatant attempt at interrupting you. This was going to be tougher than you thought. Stark went quiet, and that was your cue to keep going. “Not just from you. From everyone. You’ve all made me out to be something different to what I am. I think you projected your perfect ideals upon me, expecting me to do what was right to make you guys realise what the right decisions were.

“I’m not someone you can upload your perfect scenarios into. I’m not a kid. I’m not to blame for every little thing that goes wrong in this initiative, unless I actually do wind up messing something up.

“You need to stop treating me like the good luck charm in your perfect little group, and then the fatal flaw when things go drastically wrong,” It was like you were at the UN conference once more, making your speech, speaking from within. The words tumbled from your mouth calmly, despite your insides being frenzied. You breathed deeply. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“And I thought I was the biggest feminist here.” Nat smiled as she spoke, her eyes revealing more emotion in that one stare than they had in the whole year you’d known her.

Tony strolled over to his small collection of booze, or his ‘pick me up’ bar. He pulled the top off of a whiskey, and poured a small amount in eleven glasses. He handed one to each member, including a hungover Peter, who looked like he was about to vomit as the scent of the alcohol hit his nose.

“I won’t hold it against Rhodey for not being here. He’s got other things to focus on than this 1945 single malt.” Tony swilled the drink around in his glass, giving off vibes of being some kind of alcohol expect in a past life.

Or maybe just an alcoholic.

“Seems I’m a man of habit. But some habits have gotta change.” He looked you in the eyes seriously, his jaw clenched. “I’m willing to do that for you, (Y/N).” Your lips curled upwards as Tony raised his glass to the sky. The others followed suit.

“To new beginnings.” Everyone downed the contents of their glasses, even Peter. The whiskey burned your throat on the way down, but warmed your insides pleasantly. No wonder Tony loved this stuff.

“I’m gonna- ugh.” Peter shot up from the couch, his boxers and tight shirt still donned, headed for the nearest bathroom. His face was utterly green. That earned a laugh from everyone, but something sounded odd;

This deep decibel cut through the laughter from the group, and as the laughter faded away, the deepness stayed-

Someone was chuckling from the corridor Peter had just run down.

A tall, skinny figure turned the corner, his hands bound behind his back. Loki’s smile was enough to strike fear in the face of anyone; and it was as if your soul had left your body and you could see your face turning sheet white. “He should try some of the liquor on Asgard.”

Everyone stayed silent as the prince strolled further into the room. You’d been holding your breath since he’d appeared, and you hadn’t noticed until you’d started spluttering. Loki furrowed his eyebrows at you in fake concern. “Aw, bless.”

“Enough, Loki.” Thor rounded the corner, his voice booming over the fearful silence. “You’re not here to make everyone want to kill you.”

“I can still kill him if you want me too, big guy?” Clint chimed in, strolling forward to the two princes. He shook Thor’s hand sternly.

“Toasting without me?” Thor spoke up, his face transforming into the man the Avengers knew and loved. Your fear began to melt away as he strode forward, his arms dragging Loki along behind him, unwillingly, obviously. He pushed his brother into a chair, furthest away from the group. You shuddered as his green eyes met your for a second, and took a harsh breath in.

“So, any reason why your murderous, psychopathic brother is in my compound?” Tony asked, his tone so typically Stark; smart ass.

“First, we drink. Then, we talk.”

You scoffed. “Is that how the Asgardians do it?” Thor looked at you, his eyes playful.

“No. That’s just how I do it.”

In many ways, it was the best time of your life in those twenty minutes of bliss after Thor had arrived.

Just you and the Avengers. You and your friends. Your family.

You were back, baby.

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you're all good. I prebooked my tickets for Thor ragnarok today!!! I literally can't wait to see it. 
> 
> so I'm starting to find it difficult to write about stuff; as far as canon content goes I've come to the point where we're all standing and waiting for new content, so I don't really know what I should write about from now on, concerning this story being somewhat canon?? I've already kinda deviated by having Loki be with the avengers now, I suppose. could use some help though so please give me suggestions if you feel like it!!
> 
> enjoy x

“Cap, I’m on his tail.” You whispered down the comms as you navigated the practice battlefield. Tony’s augmented reality ‘toy’ had come in handy at the compound, and acted as a fully functioning landscape for the Avengers to train. You followed Clint’s tail making sure to stay well hidden. “He’s guarding the flag at your ten o’clock.” You squatted next to a wall, and ducked out of view when Clint turned round suddenly. 

You rolled to the other side of the building, planning on taking another route round in case Barton had spotted you. “(Y/N), you have incoming. ‘Dark and stormy’ right behind you.” Sam’s voice came in over the comms, he was invisible in the skies, surveying the landscape. 

Take a wild guess at who ‘dark and stormy’ is? Yeah. It’s him. You cursed under your breath as you squatted into the derelict building. Loki could teleport, it was wildly unfair. 

You placed your hands on the ground and breathed deeply. If you focused hard enough, your body could detect vibrations in the ground. You felt a set of tremors coming from about ten metres away; bingo. 

In one motion you’d moved to the other side of the building and leant behind another wall. If Loki came inside he wouldn’t know you were there. “Cap, you go for Clint. (Y/N), the flag’s all yours. I’ll take Widow.” You surveyed the flag through a small window and saw Clint still standing guard; not long now. “On my mark. 3... 2... 1-,” 

Cap burst through the interior wall of the opposite building, lunging himself at an overly surprised Clint and whacking him to the ground with his shield. Black Widow came charging at Steve from behind a truck, and kicked him straight in the chest, sending him backwards. Sam swooped down from the sky and targeted Nat as she continued to punch Cap repeatedly in his ribs. That’s when you saw your chance-

Stepping backwards once to gain momentum, you manoeuvred through the small window and straight out into the open air. Your legs hit the ground and were already moving, headed straight for the flag; it was like you could already feel the fabric in your hands. 

Clint broke away from the fight with Cap and came bounding straight for you, an arrow already in his bow ready to fire. Just before he released it, Sam hit his side, and the arrow flew upwards in the air, skimming past your ear and sending a small jolt of pain through your body; you felt the wound, you were bleeding slightly. You shot a side stare at Clint; he was practically laughing. 

Despite the impromptu ear piercing, your legs were still pumping at full capacity, and you were only metres from the flag. You jumped upwards, controlling the air to swirl around you as you grabbed the flag from its pole in the blink of an eye; you landed and were immediately running once more, headed for the safe zone three hundred yards away.

If you got there, your team would win. 

If you got there, it would all be over. 

The augmented reality made these training sessions all the more real. And another factor that added to the real ness? Mr Dark and Stormy. 

Loki appeared in front of you, one hundred yards from the safe zone. His body shimmered at the edges with a faint gold, and despite Loki supposedly wanting to contribute to something good now, it still wasn’t a nice feeling knowing he was sleeping four doors down from yours. 

You watched as another five clones of him shimmered into view. His tactic for you was always to initiate fear; you were sure he was capable of physically injuring you as well, but he never tried to. It was like he’d set a line that he wouldn’t cross when it came to you. 

“‘Dark and stormy’ at twelve o’clock-,” 

“I know that already, Wilson!” You barked down the comms, your legs not stopping or faltering, but instead gaining speed, heading straight for the prince. “How’s my back?”

“All covered!” 

“Get ready to win then, boys!” You willed the air to surround you once more, the ground to ripple beneath your feet. As nature bent to your will, you felt its strength surge through you, and suddenly you were in the air. The flag was still securely gripped in your hand as you rose up above Loki’s clones, the safe zone now truly within reach. 

“Fancy seeing you here?” A hand gripped around your ankle and your body went numb; in one tug you were plummeting to the floor, the ground coming into contact with you in a not so nice way. 

Before you realised what was happening a dull, slow clap was sounded in your ears. 

The flag was raised above your head, Loki’s hand gripping it. The prince himself was straddling you, his knee pressed deep into your rib, his grin piercing through you in a grim victory. “Just thought I’d drop by.” For the past five years, every time you’d heard an English accent it had filled you with joy. 

This time? 

No. 

“Get off me, Loki.” The trickster scoffed at you, lowering the flag as if he wanted to brag even more. He grinned. 

“Someone doesn’t like losing.” You were done.

“Get off me, now!” His face dropped to blank as he raised himself off of you and joined his other team members. Cap gave you a hand up from the floor, his face sunken slightly. Sam swooped down next to the two of you. 

“You were right there-,”

“It doesn’t matter,” you cut him off, slipping off the visual projection wristbands that Tony had made for all of you, so you could see the landscape at full capacity. You dropped the bands to floor dully, and stretched your shoulders. They clicked uncomfortably. “I still lost.” 

“Is someone being a sore loser?” Whenever you heard Loki’s voice now it was like someone was repeatedly poking you with a sewing needle. 

You’d locked him up on Asgard and now he was here, claiming he ‘wants to change’. It was all bullshit. He’s a psychopath, a power-hungry maniac with a god complex. And now  he was in the compound with you, a person he’d literally wanted to breed an army with. What the fuck. 

It wasn’t about losing. It wasn’t about winning either; it was about learning. And when Loki was there, the learning wasn’t fun. At all. 

‘Let’s put you up against a thousand year old god!’ They said. ‘It’ll be fun!’ They said. 

Yeah, fuck that.

You could feel his stare on the back of your neck as you left the training room, trying to subtly drown out the sniggers coming from Barton, Nat and their apparent new best friend.

-

“Remind me again why your stupid brother is here?” You slumped down on the couch next to Thor, polishing Mojlnir. 

“Father wanted him to pay back society in a more- hands on way. That, and apparently Loki wanted to do some good.” You caught eyes with the god for a second, raising your eyebrows. He sighed, and stopped polishing. “Look, it’s obvious why you aren’t the biggest fan of him and fully understandable why you don’t want him here-,” 

“Why do I feel like you’re about to say ‘but’?” Thor smirked at you, and you braced yourself for him trying to convince you that Loki was simply trying to reinvent himself. 

“He’s had a harder life than most.” 

“And he’s done everything he can possibly do to make other people’s lives hard.” The prince sat in silence for a moment, his face calm. In moments like this, it cemented Thor as the ruler of Asgard in your eyes; he would rule his people brilliantly when the title rolled over to him. 

“Those who are more fragile tend to put on a hard exterior. If you were afraid of being hurt, wouldn’t you, too, try and act as if you didn’t have a care in the world? For anyone?” It seemed cliche to relate to what Thor was saying. There was a small image of you in your own head, you called her the ‘melodramatic you’. She would stomp around your mind and complain about all your hardships, cry every two minutes about the fact you didn’t have a proper family, about how difficult life had been since you were in the public eye. You wouldn’t dream of acting like that in real life; hence the tried (and often failed) hard exterior. 

“I thought you weren’t supposed to understand Earth stuff.” Thor chuckled loudly, and patted your shoulder with affection. 

“Midgardians still confuse me. You are all so peculiar. But perhaps,” he huffed, and picked up Moljnir suddenly, as if it weighed nothing. “People are more alike than you think.” With that, he left the room mysteriously. It was crazy how Thor could go from a dumbfounded simpleton to a wise god. You envied him, slightly. 

You took a minute to mull over what he’d said, but you thought it was a little far fetched with how involved Loki was becoming with the Avengers. This was the same guy they took down in New York City years ago for letting the Chitauri invade the planet, right? The minute ended, and if you didn’t go and shower right then you’d be late for work. You had to admit the commute to the city centre was more annoying now, but you loved your job; you weren’t gonna quit anytime soon. 

 -

Scrubbing at your wet hair with a towel, someone calmly knocked on your door. “It’s open.” 

Tony and Steve shuffled in, and your anxiety immediately spiked. You’d didn’t know why, but whenever Stark and Rogers entered a place together, you knew that it would be about something semi-important, not just for a friendly chat. “Hey,” Tony began, and you dropped the towel down from your head. From his tone, some kind of lecture was in order. 

“I don’t have time for this, Stark. I have work in-,” 

“Oh yeah, I cancelled your shift. Didn’t I tell you that?” He slandered around your room, picking up the framed photo of you, Debs and Jason. 

You clenched your jaw. “No. You didn’t.” 

“Ah, sorry. My bad. Lots of stuff going on. Anyway-,” Steve sighed and came forward, cutting Stark off mid sentence. 

“The press are gathering in the compounds conference room. It’s time for the Avengers to announce their come back.” Was he being serious? And they hadn’t told you?

“Did it not occur to fucking tell me about this ?” You shot up from your bed, fuming. You glanced at your reflection in the mirror, the Apple logo on your uniform only making you even more angry. A split second decision made you fling the top off of yourself, throwing it to the floor. 

Steve immediately looked at the floor. Tony? Not so much. It wasn’t like he was staring, but he was amused. “It was super last minute, Pepper set it up. She’s a lightning bolt, can make things happen in the blink of an eye.” You crossed your arms and paced back and forth, still kinda half naked. 

Steve raised his head and saw you still hadn’t put on another shirt. His cheeks blushed, but it only made you more annoyed. “God, Steve. I have to see you and every other male in this damn compound walk around half-naked in their fucking boxers every gym session we do, and you’re getting embarrassed by a grown woman having a rage in her fucking bra?” You grabbed your pyjama top and slipped it on messily, your hair becoming a mop. 

Tony glanced at Cap, his eyebrows raised. “She’s got a point.” You stomped over to your dressing table and grabbed a hair tie. You put your hair up in a messy bun, still wet. “Right, kid. The panel starts in twenty. It’s gonna be full on, but you can be in and out if you get uncomfortable.” 

You wiped some sweat off your forehead. “Whatever, Stark. I’ve had my fair share of press panels and public speaking.” You saw the guilt spread across both of their faces, but it didn’t concern you. If anything, you’d gone easy on them after you guys had made up. The amount of stress and pressure they’d caused you to feel; they deserved much worse from you after Berlin. “Can you guys leave now, please?” Tony tsked, and Steve pulled his hands out of his pockets. The two of them headed to the door silently. “Oh, and Tony? If you cancel another shift of mine without me knowing, I  _will_  shave off your beard while you sleep.” You smiled at him over-enthusiastically, and they left your room. As the door clicked shut, you fell backwards onto your bed.

Fifteen minutes later, another knock sounded. You didn’t say anything this time, thinking whoever it was was simply there to pick you up for the press panel. You combed your now dry hair through with your fingers, and opened the door. You weren’t expecting him to ever be stood there- 

“Thought it was about time that I paid a visit to your- humble abode.” Loki let himself in and your fingers slipped from the door handle. 

“You think unconventionally, Loki.” He stood silently in the middle of your room, surveying the various possessions you had on the shelves. He inspected your nightstand, and your walls, staying particularly close to the space above your dresser where you’d hung up some of your artwork. 

“I came to say that, I’m sorry for how training went today.” 

“You’re  _sorry_?” You scoffed, and went to grab your jacket. “Training isn’t supposed to be easy. Whatever.” 

“No. I could see the fight in your eyes. You wanted it so badly. Yet I chose the one method that would humiliate you the most.” You raised your eyes to the ceiling and crossed your arms. Maybe training had got to you in some way.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t hold grudges.” The prince laughed, his face transforming into something so close to human that you could have sworn he was. 

“I think we both know that’s not true, especially towards myself. Which is understandable, by the way.” You swallowed. 

“Loki,” You began, but you didn’t really know where to start. “Why are you even here?” He looked down at the floor, fiddling his fingers. For a man who looked so powerful all the time, a man who had a face that could scare away people from a mile off, you noticed the vulnerability in that brief moment. He sighed, and looked up once more, regaining his prior stance. 

“I took your advice.” 

From down the corridor, someone was shouting your name. You could hear the pounding of footsteps; Peter burst through your door, practically hitting the ceiling. “Come on, (Y/N)-,” His suit had been completely redesigned, and was overlaid with vibranium. He stopped cold when he noticed Loki. “Oh, hey.” 

“I was just coming.” You grabbed his wrist suddenly, afraid that you might fall over if you weren’t careful. “Loki can let himself out.” You shut the door on the prince, and everything seemed to weigh down on you all at once.

You and Peter joined the other Avengers, all gathered outside the double doors to the conference room. Pepper poked her head out from the room, and you could hear the copious reporters and journalists inside, chatting away. “You guys ready?” She looked at you in the eye, her expression seeming to take away some of the pressure that had built up on your shoulders.

Everyone filed inside silently, but you waited until the end. The flash of cameras was blinding, even from outside of the room. “Pepper,” she whipped her head around so fast that you were almost knocked out with her hair. “Can you hold my hand?” 

Pepper, in your eyes, was the Mum of the Avengers. She had that underlying quality of everything a mother had, and it calmed you whenever she was around. She grabbed your hand lovingly, wrapping her fingers around your palm. 

Without saying a word, the two of you walked into the conference room, ready to announce the revival of the worlds only hope; ready to finally be one of them.

After this, you would truly be an Avenger.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so guys, this is the final chapter!! I have more ideas for this, so I've decided to create a series!! It's called 'An Unlikely Avenger', and this is simply part one of many.
> 
> I'm going to focus on some other ideas until we get more canon content from the avengers, so it shouldn't be long!! 
> 
> thank you all so much for giving me the confidence to continue this fic until the end - I've never really finished anything with my writing before and I'm astounded that I got this far, and I just hope that all of you have liked reading it aye. 
> 
> until the next instalment of 'An Unlikely Avenger' - enjoy x

To think that seven billion people looked to you to save them; it made you want to hide in a crawl space for eternity. All of those reporters, those cameras lenses and the incessant flashes, they were capturing the face of one of their saviours, their protectors. You thought the prospect of being an Avenger had dawned on you months ago, but this was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

Most of the questions were directed at you and Peter. “There have been rumours about the ages of both of your new recruits. Do the Avengers condone the use of children in their initiative?” You took it upon yourself to speak.

“I’m nineteen years old, as is Spider-Man. We’re both legally classed as adults. I wouldn’t be doing this unless I, myself, had decided to. I think I can speak for Spider-Man as well when I say we both chose to do this.” Peter nodded beside you. It seemed silly that he was sat in his suit purely for a press panel.

An eruption of noise began again, with snippets of questions appearing amongst the ruckus. Stark had said it would be quick, but every time another reporter was picked time seemed to slow down even more. “Mr Stark, are all the hard feelings between you and Rogers obsolete?” Tony placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder dramatically.

“We have our differences, like any normal people would. But we know how to work through them.” You refrained from rolling your eyes at Tony’s very political answer. Captain America smiled at his people, his citizens, with that face that everyone knew far too well.

“And Miss (L/N), how’s your relationship with the Avengers after these recent events?” You cleared your throat as the room quietened. You could take the democratic route with your answer, or the complete opposite. Or maybe you could tell the truth.

“If Stark was answering on my behalf I’m sure he’d say something along the lines of how I’m still technically an angst teenager.” That earned you a laugh from most people in the room, and a side glance at Tony saw his embarrassed face smiling shamefully at the microphone sat in front of him. “Just like Cap and him, I’ve had my fair share of differences with the Avengers. I believe we’ve worked it out. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” You lifted yourself up from the panel and made your way to the doors leading back to the compound, trying your best to drown out the wave of noise that flooded over your back.

Making your way to the kitchen, you couldn’t help the curiosity inside of you concerning the conversation you’d had with Loki before the panel. You headed to your room, knowing he wouldn’t be stupid enough to have stayed inside the whole time. As you’d expected – he wasn’t there. You glanced further down the corridor; his door was right there.

You’d never so much as walked past Loki’s door, let alone been inside his room. Your knuckles hit the wooden frame three times, and his voice was raspy when he muttered a cold “Enter.”

He didn’t look up from his book as you opened the door as quietly as possible, leaning against the door frame uncomfortably. “Back so soon?” He licked his finger and turned the page.

“Group activities aren’t my forte.” He silently chuckled.

“And there was me thinking that team building exercises were your favourite.” He placed a bookmark on his page gently and shut the book, placing it on his bedside table and standing to full height. “Can I help you with anything?” How odd it was being asked such a question from man who had previously invaded the city you live in. His face was sincere and it almost scared you. You hadn’t wanted to believe that he’d turned a new leaf; your encounter with him had been enough to make you never want to be around him again, yet here you were.

Why were you there?

Despite the Avengers and yourself getting back to working as normal, something inside of you felt like they were hiding something from you. The way they had all accepted Loki in the compound so suddenly and without a proper explanation baffled you.

In other words; you had a sneaking suspicion that they were hiding things from you once more.

It’d been bugging you from the day after Loki had arrived. You’d gone to bed early, and whenever you laid in your bed you could pick up vibrations even if you didn’t want to. You’d felt footsteps up and down the corridor all night. The next morning, Steve had made Loki a cup of coffee.

You knew something was up.

“I’m going to ask you again, but this time, I want a real answer.”  You took a step into Loki’s room as you met his gaze. His brow furrowed; he knew what you were thinking.

“You suspect something larger is happening concerning why I’m here.” The prince strolled closer to you and you hesitated. He noticed your uneasiness, and faltered. “May I- shut the door?” You moved to the side as Loki gently clicked the door closed. Your eyes skimmed across his room. He had limited possessions, most of which were books. A pile of them sat on his desk, their pages tattered and worn. They must have been over a thousand years old.

Loki took a seat in the reading chair at the end of his bed, and you looked around the room for a place to perch. You tried not to blush as you sat down on the prince’s bed, near his pillow. He took a deep breath in, putting his fingers to his lips. “They told me not to say anything unless you asked.” You would have punched the wall if your body hadn’t felt the blow of being lied to once more.

They were still keeping secrets from you. Nothing had changed.

“When I say I took your advice, I wasn’t lying. Your words resonated,” He looked down at his hands. “I regret my past. The things I did. I was misunderstood, too idiotic to realise that power wasn’t everything. But I was even more foolish when it came to the creatures I surrounded myself with.” His green eyes met yours, and his face sunk slightly. Whatever it was, you knew it wasn’t good. He hesitated, as if the words tumbling from his mouth were burning his insides as he spoke them. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable, even when he was in his cell on Asgard. “Do you know of the infinity stones?”

That name, you were sure you’d heard it, but in a different context. Vision held the mind stone, that was what abled him to live in an almost humanlike way, along with the help of Jarvis’s matrix.

Hydra; the Tesseract. Steve had fought against Johan Schmidt in his own time, a maniacal Nazi with an interest in weapons of mass destruction. He’d used the Tesseract to power said weapons.

Loki’s sceptre had been another product created.

You’d heard names from elsewhere; Steven Strange; a group of space Guardians, or something. The infinity stones were what they had in common with one another.

But that was all you’d heard about them.

You nodded at Loki quickly, your brain firing you with questions that you didn’t know how to ask. “The stones in the wrong hands are catastrophic.”

“How did I know the word catastrophic was going to be said in this conversation?” You looked at the ceiling and whispered to yourself. You hadn’t noticed that you’d wrapped your arms around yourself, or that your eyes had begun to well up.

Loki got up from his chair and sat on the end of his bed. “This is why they didn’t tell me, isn’t it?” The prince smiled. Loki knew you were intelligent, so it wouldn’t take you long to put two and two together. It was obvious; the infinity stones were in the wrong hands. And you’d bet money that those hands wanted to destroy the universe.

They hadn’t told you because you’d only just come back.

They hadn’t told you because they wanted you to stay, they didn’t want to scare you off when you’d only just returned.

They hadn’t told you because they were protecting you.

It made you feel sick that they still thought of you as fragile. Fragile enough that they couldn’t share information like this. But you weren’t mad.

“Something big is coming, isn’t it?” Loki shuffled up closer to you, but not too close. He could sense your fear, but also knew that boundaries were important.

“Not if we can help it.”

How Loki knew all of this, how this was his reason for coming to the Avengers, you didn’t want to dwell on. You knew it had something to do with his past, the people he used to surround himself with, the people he used to serve. “Why now did you choose to tell them, Loki? I don’t believe it was all from what I said on Asgard.”

He scoffed. “Does anything get past you?”

You smiled. “Not if I can help it.”

Yours and Loki’s conversational bubble was burst when someone knocked on his door. He shot up from the bed immediately, taking two steps forward, as Thor entered the room. “Brother-,” Thor began, but his eyes met yours awkwardly. “Oh, hello.”

You raised yourself up. “Sorry, I’ll be leaving-,”

“No- wait,” Loki spoke up, and Thor simply stood in the doorway. Loki turned to his brother, an explanation probably circulating through his mind. “What is it, Thor?”

“Stark wanted you in the living room.” Thor looked at you with guilty eyes. “To discuss- things.”

Oh, what bullshit.

“Unbelievable.” You muttered, and shoved past a confused Thor. You heard the fast-paced footsteps of the brothers following behind you.

“(Y/N), wait-,”

“Shut it, Thor. You’re a terrible liar.” You could imagine the smile on Loki’s face after you spoke. You turned the corner to the living room and were met by the astonished faces of the entire group; typical. Peter smirked at Tony, who no doubt had campaigned about having you know about all this shit. Nat did that thing where she tried to conceal her amusement. “Stark, I thought we had a damn agreement?”

Tony huffed and shuffled in his chair. You saw how uncomfortable he was and it almost made you happy. “This was different-,”

“Bullshit, Tony. You’re hiding Avengers stuff from me when I just told the world that I’m one of you. I agreed to this, so you agreed to it too-,”

“ _This was different-,_ ”

“Enough with this sentimental act of trying to keep me safe. _I signed up for this_. Let me do my job.” Iron Man looked at you, his nostrils flared. The two of you got under each other’s skin in a bad way, but it always came down to one thing; believing that what you were doing was the right thing.

“Tony,” Banner spoke up, his elbows on his knees. “She’s right.” Stark got up from his chair, suddenly, and began pacing.

“Alright, Jesus. I’m not Judas this time round,” He continued to pace, his eyes falling upon Loki. “She asked you?” The prince stood up straight and raised his eyebrows at Stark.

“No, ah, she bombarded into my room like a maniacal dog and spent two days torturing me until the information came out.” You bit your finger to stop yourself from laughing. Who knew Loki had a sense of humour? “Stark, we _are_ talking about the woman standing right here, who single-handedly captured me after months of Asgard and Midgard believing me to be dead, are we not?”

You turned towards Loki as he spoke, your brows furrowed and amusement slapped all over your face. _Woman._ God.

“Well damn, ‘Dark and stormy’ is actually making sense.” Sam added, a grin stretched over his playful face. Stark looked like he was about to explode. You’d never seen Tony backed so far into his theoretical corner, and you didn’t want to admit that you kind of liked it.

Your amusement faded, and you perched on the arm rest of the chair Clint sat in. “I thought we were done with acting like I’m insignificant?” Tony stopped walking and faced you immediately.

“You are not- you’re not insignificant, (Y/N).”

“Then prove it, Stark. I know something’s coming, something that your egotistical, smart ass doesn’t want to admit you’re afraid of,” Stark swallowed, his eyes flicking around the room. The fear radiated from each member, and suddenly the amusement everyone felt at Loki’s words had disappeared completely.

You glanced around the room and almost shuddered; all of them looked like statues. Wanda had wide eyes, the same eyes you’d seen when her brother had laid dead on Sokovian soil. Peter was looking at you with concern; it was a face you’d seen countless times, but this was different. “Thanos.” Nat uttered, and everyone’s eyes flicked over to hers. “I know you guys don’t want to admit it, but this guy is the real deal and we all know it. You thought Ronan was bad? This guy is Ronan’s boss.”

You knew about Ronan, a Kree who had attempted to destroy another planet named Xander. As you resurfaced information about him, you remembered Steve saying that he was some kind of Hydra 2.0, but only now did you fully understand what he meant-

Ronan had been in possession of an infinity stone.

How long had infinity stones been a danger? Why hadn’t the Avengers acted upon them earlier? The Tesseract has been under scrutiny for years, why only now were the stones themselves surfacing as a threat? “Thanos.” You repeated, your thoughts trying to iron out into something easily translatable. “Is that the man you worked for, Loki?” The prince shuffled on his spot.

“Thanos is not a man.” He gulped, and Thor placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “He has the power to- eradicate. Destroy. Abolish. He sits up on his golden throne simply waiting for everything to fall into place.”

“Fall into place?” Peter asked. Loki took a breath.

“He wields the infinity gauntlet, armour that is designed to hold all the stones in one palm. It wasn’t made for mortals.”

“But he doesn’t have every stone,” You looked around the room, trying to reassure everyone despite the obvious fact that Thanos was dangerous. “We can stop him if he doesn’t have every stone, right?”

“It’s not that simple, I don’t think, kiddo.” Clint chimed in, and your face dropped once more. You knew this wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, but dwelling on the negatives wouldn’t do any of you good.

“But-,”

“(Y/N), I think we should discuss this all tomorrow. We’ve had a lot of people bombarding us with questions, and I for one could use a run. Or a nap.” Steve joined in, and he was right. Doing press panels was tiring and invasive. “I’m glad you know about this, it’s right.” You nodded at the Captain as he strolled out of the room, headed for his dorm.

One by one, each Avenger got up from where they previously sat, all heading in different directions to get on with their day. Peter stood up and gave you a kiss on the forehead, making you blush a little. “I’m off to college for a few days. I know the new semester doesn’t start for another month but I said I’d help out in the lab.”

“What a goody-two-shoes.” You smiled at him as he lowered his face and pressed his lips against yours. “Hey, will you drop by at Debs and Jason’s place? I haven’t had the chance to see them in a few weeks and I’m sure they’d like to see you.” Peter sighed happily.

“Fine, I will. Despite the fact that whenever I’m alone with your foster mom she grills me about how you and I are doing. You know, like _us._ ”

“Aaand that’s when you tell her that I’m pregnant with your fifth child, and that we’ve already been secretly married _and_ divorced.” Peter raised his eyebrows.

“Ha ha. Very funny. She’d probably have a heart attack.”

“She’d probably believe it.” Peter bobbed his head to the side and hummed, pouting a little.

“Yeah, she’d totally believe it, actually.” The two of you laughed together, before Peter gave you another peck and left for Cornell. Loki strolled over to the sofa opposite you and took a seat. You smiled at him, and his eyes grazed over you.

The fear in Loki’s voice when he’d spoken about Thanos; you thought he wasn’t afraid of anything. If this is truly the reason he came to the Avengers, then Thanos was someone that needed to be taken down immediately. It dawned on you then, that perhaps Thanos had forced Loki to invade New York. That he’d planted ideas of power being everything inside the young prince’s mind. If Thanos was really as bad as he was made out to be, then it was a large possibility.

“You and Spider-Boy,” You looked at Loki, an amused smile on your face at the fact he’d called Peter a boy on purpose. “How did that even happen?”

“I never thought you’d be one to care about relationships.”

“Oh, this isn’t me caring. This is me wondering how on earth that, ah, what do they call smart, odd people here?” He clicked his fingers impatiently, trying to think of the word.

“Nerd?”

“Yes! How on earth that _nerd_ managed to win the affections of _you_.” You furrowed your brows at him and frowned.

“I guess it never occurred to you that that _nerd_ is the best person I know.” Loki scoffed, and leant back on the sofa, stretching his arms over the back.

“You aren’t acquainted with very many good people then, are you.” With that, you got up from your chair and rolled your eyes dramatically at him.

“Well, I am sat with you, aren’t I.” You walked towards your dorm room and away from Loki. He said nothing, though you wanted to bet he was smiling.

-

You spent most of the day in your room, wasting time. You rolled yourself up in your duvet, it was late, and the sky outside was a dark red. The compound was quiet, but still you couldn’t sleep. A hole had opened up in the pit of your stomach for no reason whatsoever, and you were afraid that if you fell asleep you’d get sleep paralysis.

Today had been hectic, and your mind kept racing over one thing; what if Thanos attacked with no warning? Loki said he wielded the infinity gauntlet, but there was no way of knowing how many infinity stones he had in his possession, unless you tried to count the ones that he didn’t have.

You were thrown out of your thoughts when the distinct ring of the compound communicator went off- who was calling at this time? You rushed out of your room in your pyjamas, which just happened to be booty shorts and an oversized t-shirt. God.

Your bare feet pattered against the vinyl floors of the compound as you made your way to the conference room alone; had no one else woken up? All the lights were still off. You sat down in front of the large screen in the conference room as you looked at the unknown source on screen. Whoever it was calling you all, you didn’t know who they were.

Before you could think about anything bad, you clicked the answer button.

“Ah!” You furrowed your eyebrows at the man on screen; you didn’t recognise him at all, and he seemed to be in some kind of situation. “No- god, disable the guns, we need power to the engines-,”

“Hello?” You said, and the man turned back to the camera. He smiled, panicked.

“Hey- Starlord, ah, Peter Quill here.” The man’s auburn curls were ruffled and covered in dust. You could hardly hear him as he spoke over the immense sirens that blared from wherever the hell he was.

“Peter!” In the background of the call you watched as a green woman frantically clicked multiple buttons on a console, but apparently to no avail.

“I’m busy, Gamora- Drax! Let Rocket steer the ship- no he’s not intentionally trying to make us crash-,” The call kept cutting out, but you were already half way to Stark’s room, turning on all the lights in the compound on the way.

“Stark! Tony!” You yelled as you ran down the dorm corridor, and as you reached his room the door swung open. A surprised and sleepy Tony Stark struggled to put on a shirt as Pepper sat in bed, her hair in a messy bun. “Conference room, there’s a call from someone called Peter Quill.” He was already running, and as you made your way back you were being followed by some others, including Steve and Loki.

“Quill, it’s Stark-,”

“Hey, Iron Man!” Peter Quill wrestled with himself as he tried to stay standing. The sirens on their ship had got louder since you’d left, and sparks were flying everywhere. “Right so, we’re not doing so hot- Groot can you _please_ stop trying to tie up Drax- ah, the Milano is going down.”

“Going down where? Did you get hit?” Tony was typing frantically on the screen and bringing up page after page of information- ship logs, personal files, and an instruction manual of some kind.

“Asteroid field, hit us mid jump- we’re in Earth’s atmosphere.”

“Earth’s atmosphere?” You paced it round to the screen so you were next to Tony. “You mean you’re going to crash somewhere here?”

“Well, we’re trying not to crash- if Gamora could get the shields up,”

“I’m _trying_ OK, Starboy!” a disgruntled Gamora shouted from across the ship, and Peter rolled his eyes at the camera.

“Pssh, women-,”

“Quill, I found you.” Tony tapped onto a page that looked like a satellite map. A small dot was travelling across mid Florida exceptionally fast, heading for New York State. “Your crash time will be in seven minutes or so, landing you just outside of Staten Island, which can’t happen.”

“What do you suggest then, boss?” Boss? You had no clue who these people were, and by the looks of the others neither did they. Tony had more secrets than all the people you knew put together.

“You need to extend your crash time so you land here at the compound, it’s a small window but you can do it. Try sending all the juice you got left to your thrusters and gaining some altitude, and keep your direction headed North. On my way.”

“Stark-,” But he’d left the room already, his Iron Man suit half donned. “Great.” You muttered, and looked at Steve’s confused face as he went to sit by the screen.

“Who are you guys?” Cap asked, just as Peter Quill banged his head on the call screen. You all watched as he got up and rubbed his now red forehead.

“We’re- the Guardians of the Galaxy.” Quill took one look at Steve and his jaw dropped. “Oh my god, you’re Captain America.” Steve sighed and turned to you. Apparently even in space people knew who the hell Steve Rogers was. “Dude! I had your action figures when I was a kid! Gamora- it’s Captain America-,”

“Quill, will you _do something_ instead of sitting on your butt-,” Gamora’s voice was drowned out by everyone in the Milano being shoved to the side. Tony’s voice echoed over the ships communicator-

“I’ve given you a head start, Quill. Just don’t ruin the grass too much.” Your heart skipped a beat as you saw a bright light outside the window. You rushed over to the balcony and looked out; the Milano was headed straight for the compound.

You saw the faint outline of Stark as he tried his best to guide the ship to the large acres of field surrounding the facility, but even you could see he was struggling with this big hunk of metal hurtling at hundreds of miles per hour towards the ground. Without thinking, you jumped from the balcony and willed the air to surround you as your dropped to the ground.

The Milano was only half a mile away and approaching at a record speed, you had to do something, or the people on board would be gravely hurt. You breathed deeply as you tried to ignore your heart beating overtime in your chest, and tried to focus on the elements around you. You could sense the metal of the Milano, and focused on stopped the momentum of the ship. The air surrounding the vessel created a shield and worked to reduce the aerodynamics of the ship, so it slowed in the air.

You were already sweating; your eyes were glued shut as you prayed for your powers not to fail you at this moment. Your limbs shook violently as you tensed your muscles, the lactic acid building up to an uncomfortable level. You could hear the ship approaching now, but still you didn’t move. “(Y/N)!” Steve’s voice boomed from inside the compound, but the ship was yards away from the facility now, you couldn’t stop or it would fully crash into the building.

You screamed as your body pulsed with pain, your feet digging into the earth to stop your body from falling over as the Milano approached, the wind whipping around with speeds of a hurricane.

That’s when you blacked out.

When you woke, the destroyed shell of the Milano sat on the grass in front of you. It was smoking, but you watched as five individuals shakily emerged from inside the ship. Stark landed in front of you on the grass and immediately hoisted you up from the floor. Steve rushed from behind, slipping his arms around your waist as you started to fall backwards. “Good catch.” Peter Quill jogged over to the three of you, covered in dust and looking just a tad overtired.

“Thanks.” You managed to mutter, but you were so ready to sleep for a good fourteen hours. The five strangers walked up to the compound and you got a good look at them; one was a tree. One was a racoon. One was- something else? One was green. And the last one was a guy. You didn’t have an explanation for them, other than ‘Well, they are from space.’

“Sorry to drop by, no pun intended.” Quill crossed his arms, and Tony opened his mask.

“You could have seriously harmed hundreds of people, Peter.” Quill scratched his head awkwardly and looked at Gamora; she turned her head away from him.

“Blame the asteroids. That’s why we called you, we didn’t wanna hurt anyone. We were on our way to Terra to see you, anyway.” Tony raised an eyebrow as if to say, ‘Hurry up.’ Peter planted his hands on his hips and took in a few breaths. “We need a favour, some back up. There’s this guy we gotta take care of.”

“A guy?”

You were on the brink of collapse at this point, but your curiosity kept you going. Something inside of you unhinged, and out came your old friend anxiety. A bad feeling washed all over your body as Quill looked from his teammates back to Stark; your instincts knew what was coming.

“Last week the Nova Core was broken into, seven guards were killed, and one item was taken.” Peter frowned, his jaw clenched. The air was eerily silent, and your anxiety had made its way all around your body. Steve sensed your uneasiness and clung onto you harder, your hand clutching his forearm.

Quill looked at Stark morbidly. “Thanos took the stone.”

All you remember before your body shut down was slipping from Steve’s arms, the anxiety finally reaching your mind, your vision going blotchy, your ears dominated by one sound;

A gut-wrenching scream;

The scream of someone losing their life. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okokokok, so its been bugging me that there was never really a stable ending to this, so tada, im going to be angstyyyy and mysterious and make u all cry. ha ha.

Epilogue

 

The alarms blared loudly in the compound, so loudly that you thought your ears would fall off. You shot out of bed, trying to slip on your trousers without falling over. Sleep was still covering your eyes, your vision, but you knew something must have happened for the alarms to be going off at this time of night. It was close to 4am. You swung your door open and bombarded straight into Natasha.

"What's going on-,"

"It's Bruce. Code green." She straightened herself out professionally as she continued down the corridor, heading to the main living area. 

Code green. But Bruce hadn't had a code green in so long; what had caused this?

You ran towards the kitchen, and the sight hit your eyes. Bruce Banner was no longer in the room. Tony and Steve were trying everything to calm him down, or stopping him from destroying the entire compound. Cap through his shield a s distraction, and Tony deployed iron wires around the Hulk's legs, arms, neck - 

Nothing held up, though. 

He simply snapped them off like toothpicks, like a runaway thread on the bottom of a cotton t-shirt. 

The Avengers surrounded the Hulk, the sleepiness now completely faded from their eyes, replaced with mortal terror, not just for themselves, but for Doctor Bruce Banner. 

Tony flew around his head, buying time for Cap and Clint to find a way to pin him to the floor so Natasha could say her lullaby. Thor stood next to you, his hand placed on your shoulder kindly, Mjolnir dangling from his other hand like an extra limb. 

"Hey, big guy," Natasha began, disregarding the initial plan of getting the Hulk down first. She stepped up to the green giant, her eyes trying to hide the fear she was feeling, trying to tell Bruce that she was there for him, that he was safe. "Sun's getting real low-,"

In one swipe, Natasha was flown across the room and crashed through a glass wall divider. 

The Hulk didn't stick around for long after that, he bombarded straight through one of the windows, headed straight to the Quinjet. 

"(Y/N), Loki didn't leave his room. Go and get him, please," Cap spoke, his breathing erratic as the team all slumped to the ground or onto the sofas. Natasha was whisked off to the med-bay by Clint. Tony looked positively defeated; his friend; his good friend; had just disappeared again. 

And there was no explanation as to why he'd gone green. 

You limped down the dormitory corridor, trying to wrap your mind around what the hell had just happened. Bruce; he was gone again. 

Would it be for good this time?

Was he gone forever?

You tapped twice on Loki's door, your knuckles not feeling a thing. In fact, your entire body had gone numb. "Loki," You croaked out, but he didn't reply.

You slid open his door, hoping to find him reading a book in the chair at the end of his bed, or better yet still asleep. 

But the room was empty. 

You rushed back to living area, your eyes glassy and threatening to overflow. 

"Loki's gone." You said.

And the flood gates opened. 

 

 

An Unlikely Avenger will continue in Part 2 - 'This isn't a comic book; this is real life.'


End file.
